RIP Beloved Tiny aka "The BunFather"

[maisy126]

:bigtears:



RIP Tiny (BunFather) We will miss you:rainbow:ink iris::bunnyangel:

 

[Georgie]

:cry2


**HUGS**

:bunnyhug:

 

[TinysMom]

I was sent a link to this video presentation (slideshow?) and it is SOOOO good. It takes about three minutes to watch it.

It is about humans and how we live our lives....but I couldn't think about Tiny and how much love he gave us during his 'dash'.

[font="Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif"]http://www.the-dash-movie-poem.com/2

Its well worth watching....

Peg
[/font]

 

[LuvaBun]

That was so moving - I have a huge lump in my throat. Beautiful, thanks for sharing, Peg.

Jan

 

[TinysMom]

I had a dream about Tiny this morning - it was so real - and so moving - yet confusing - I had to share it here.

For some reason - we were at a rabbit show. It wasn't a rabbit show like where the rabbits just get judged on their body. They had to perform and do things. Tiny impressed everyone by winning best in his class and he was going to be competing for best in show later on in the day.

People were talking to me and I was surrounded by folks congratulating us on Tiny's win. He'd grabbed a carrot and some craisins from me and then disappeared.

After about half an hour or so - I realized that I didn't know where he was. I was frantically looking for him - not so he could "perform" but because I was really worried about where he was and I missed him. I was searching and searching and finally I found him - he'd dug a hole in some dirt and was relaxing and watching a baseball game or something. His beautiful fur that had such a sheen earlier in the day was simply covered in dirt....

I looked at him and went over to sit beside him and we were talking. He apologized for making me get worried but said he was tired and decided to rest for a bit. He started to stretch and say he'd get up for the next competition and I looked in his eyes and realized he wasn't just tired - he was exhausted. This was almost an exhaustion of body and soul - he wasn't used to being surrounded by people and it seemed like everyone wanted to touch him and say they'd "touched" Tiny. They were already betting on the sidelines that he would win the competition and he was the crowd favorite.

He told me he thought he could take home the trophy and he'd give it his best shot. I told him I'd be right back and to nap for a bit - he didn't have to do anything yet. Then I went over and I pulled him from the competition. The people were furious with me - both the people running the contest - and his fans. I didn't care. They told me it meant he couldn't compete again for another 6 months and I said he wasn't going to compete again anyway. He'd just been doing it for me after all.

I went back over beside him and pulled part of him into my lap while I brushed the dirt off his fur and petted him. He told me he was sorry for getting so dirty...he didn't want to let me down. I told him I didn't care about the dirt...I just wanted to feel his soft fur and love on him. I told him that I'd pulled him from the contest and he looked up at me with those big eyes. He said, "I could've done it mom. I would've won for you." And I looked at him and said, "I know big guy. You would've won everything for me....but you're done with competitions. We don't need trophies or titles to know how special you are.....so take a nap here in my lap while we both rest.

And as he laid his head in my lap, he said, "I love you mom". And I said to him, "I love you big guy...". He closed his eyes...and I awoke with a start.

This dream is as real to me even now - five hours later - as it was when I had it. I can still picture him in my lap - feel his fur under my hand....see his eyes.

Oh Tiny......I miss you so much.......you taught me so much about love and accepting others as they are.

Binky free my buddy....I'll be ok.

Mom

 

[lalena2148]

TinysMom wrote:

This dream is as real to me even now - five hours later - as it was when I had it. I can still picture him in my lap - feel his fur under my hand....see his eyes.

Many people believe that you can communicate with lost loved ones in dreams. That is supposedly the way they can communicate with you, to let you know it's ok. Maybe that was Tiny's way of telling you he's alright and he loves you. ink iris:What a special gift from a very special bunny.

 

[slavetoabunny]

I think Tiny just wanted you to know how much you meant to him and that he would do anything for you. He was such a special boy.:hug:

 

[JimD]

That's quite the dream, Peg!!

I started to reply about what my impressions were....but I keep seeing more and more.

Of course he was in a different kind of show, because you've always seen rabbits as more than just show animals.

Grabbing the crasins, digging a hole, and settling down to watch the game......sounds like something Tiny would do. He had his favorite hole, didn't he?

Everybody wanting to touch Tiny could be a reverse.....Tiny actually being the one that had touched so many.

I think yougive a strong sense that you think Tiny feels as though he's let you down in some way. This is something the "two of you" need to sort out in your own way and time.

 

[TinysMom]

Oh Tiny - its hard. I keep thinking, "Two weeks ago Tiny was doing this" and "Two weeks ago this was happening right now". The pain has dulled to an ache...that keeps me from wanting to smile or do much.

I contacted Lord Thumps-a-lot's slave and asked him to send me a copy of the stuff Thumps posted when he accused you of giving him a black eye. I have one of the "documents" now - I'm printing it up and putting it in your scrapbook. You were always so funny when I'd sit beside you and tell you what Thumps was up to now....you'd look at me and sorta be like, "Mom ... scratch my ear a bit more...ah..that feels better". You didn't really care about Thumps but you loved the fact it brought us together. So ... with no further ado...

Mom

 

[TinysMom]

So many of you were touched by the pictures and video of Miss Bea that I thought I would share this with you - I took it less than half an hour ago.

Over the last few days - Miss Bea has started coming to me sometimes and nudging me for pets...like Tiny always used to do (only he'd grab my pant leg and pull if I didn't pet him right away). Today I sat on the floor with her and she let me pet her for over half an hour.

Robin had craisins a few minutes ago (she'd handed me a couple for New Hope - who she'd been holding earlier) and you can see what happened after Miss Bea grabbed her craisins from Robin - she didn't just run and take off....(I'm sure it helped the she smelled New Hope on Robin).




Peg

 

[TinysMom]

Oh Tiny....its been almost two weeks....I thought I was doing pretty good....I thought I was gonna make it.

Then someone who cared about you - and who cares about me - sent me a sympathy card and a heartfelt letter. I couldn't help it big guy...I broke down and cried. And I cried. Should I mention that I cried some more? Oh yeah...and all the rest of the day....I cried. I couldn't even make it to work and had to say I was sick...(I couldn't tell them I was sick at heart).

I've received all the pictures of you that I've ordered and I'm starting on your scrapbook. I think I'm also going to write the story of your life (with pictures and the stories) and self-publish it on lulu.com so I can have a hardcover copy for myself...and it will have neater printing than your scrapbook. I think that will be so neat - I'm even going to do it in hardcopy....

I hurt so bad right now - I'm so angry. I'm angry at God (who I've loved all my life) - I'm angry at myself (how could I have missed the fact you were ill?) - I'm angry at you (how dare you hide any signs of illness). I'm angry that the world can continue to go on...when my world is crushed to pieces. Sometimes I think you were the only one in my life who loved me for me - not for who I was supposed to be.

I want to put my fist through the wall....all over the place. I want to scream...I want to moan and cry.

The thing is....what I want the most...I can't have. I want you back. Now. Forever....or at least a couple more years.

Someone told me today that its ok - that I'm going through the steps of the grieving process and I'll make it out.

D*@n it....I don't want to make it out. I can maybe do ok at being "functional" (I'm doing better than I did when GingerSpice died)....but I don't want to be ok. I don't want to "move on". I want to go back...or at least...stay stuck the way I am....in spite of the pain and the grief. Moving on seems like it means forgetting you or letting go of you....and I can't do that.

I was sharing with someone today that as much as I want Zeus...I don't want Zeus. This is your room - Miss Bea was your woman and I was/am your mom. How dare I think about bringing him here?

Yet how dare I think about not bringing him here? He needs us and I think we need him. I want him too - but then I feel like I'm being unfaithful to your memory. Why did you have to lay him on my heart so soon after your passing? Why do I have to feel such a heart connection to him? Its you I love....its you I want here in my office...

When I talked to my mom today about you and told her we were getting Zeus, she was like, "Well....you have other rabbits...". I tried to explain that it seemed like with flemish giants...when people lost one - either they went right out and got another one - or they felt like they could never have one again. She still didn't get it...but that's ok. I somehow knew she wouldn't.

I think I've figured out WHY you came into my life....and I think I've figured out why Zeus is coming into my life...

Here is what I shared today with the person who sent me the card...

Anyway....I'm sorry to write so much. But it helps so much to know others cared for Tiny...that others "got him" so to speak.
[align=left]
In the midst of my tears today - I realized that when Tiny entered my life - he started to heal so many hurts and he touched a part of me that no person could ever touch. He truly loved me unconditionally....even if I did get the butt frequently (to teach me a lesson I'm sure). He taught me to love even if the person I was loving - wasn't what I had hoped them to be....and then he turned around and gave me far more love than I've ever seen another animal give.

...

I know that he taught Miss Bea to come to me sometimes....she came up behind me the other day and nudged me like he did and the first words were "Tiny..." and then I remembered....it wasn't Tiny....even if it felt like him.

Anyway - I'm sorry to dump so much on you. I guess what I'm trying to get at...is thank you for the card. Yes, it opened up a floodgate and the tears are pouring. But I think I was trying to hard to "hold on" and to "be brave". I needed to let go and let loose with a good cry.

I miss my Tiny so much. I truly believe that somehow, God let me to Zeus and the He used Tiny to do so. Tiny taught me love - somehow I suspect Zeus is gonna teach me joy.

I just wish I didn't have to go through this sorrow to get to it...

Oh my big boy....I miss you so much. I wish I could hold you again and cry in your fur like I did so many times....

I better stop - I can barely see the screen through my tears.

Daddy said tonight that sometimes its ok to break down and cry - that I needed to cry. I just don't know now if I can stop....


[/align]

 

[Saffy]

 

[TinysMom]

I miss you so much tonight my big guy....I really do.

Last night I was crying in my sleep about you - and dad got me the stuffed bunny he got for me to hug - I think I slept in dad's arms - holding the bunny - all night long.

I got up and nothing seemed to go right....my day at work was horrible and you weren't around....

Miss Bea is starting to come to me now - sometimes. She almost jumped up in my lap the other day. I thank you for that - for helping her to learn to .... accept me almost.

To top things off - we just had to separate Piggie and Audrey - they were fighting. Glad I was in here ...now Audrey has her own cage to herself....

I wish I could have you here - just one more night - even for an hour.

But I'm doing better than I was.....and I know I'll continue to get better...

somehow.

Here's Sasha - my "helper" for getting through this grief - dad got her for me 'cause I miss holding you on my lap sometimes and petting you....









Go binky for me big guy.....I love you.

Mom

 

[Flashy]

*hugs*

I've stayed away from you Peg because I figured that you wanted me to, but I'm sorry, I couldn't not say this.

I think I said it before, but I'll say it again nonetheless.

Moving forward in your grieving process, or moving through it, does not mean that you are losing Tiny, or letting go or forgetting him. Quite the opposite.

Where you are now, you are filled with pain for him, when remembering good times, it hurts, but mostly you are filled with pain. The more you go through the grieving process, the more that pain lessens. When that pain lessens, you will be able to remember him and laugh, remember his quirks, funny stories and enjoy them again. When you lose the pain, you gainmore of Tiny back, in that you remember him in a good and loving way. Tiny never caused you pain in life, and once he doesn't cause you pain in death, then you have got back as much of him as you can.

If you stay filled with pain, you'll never be able to laugh at the things he did, or appreciate the bunny he was, properly, because it will all hurt far too much. Grieving doesn't mean losing him, it means working through the pain to enable you to get back the memories that grief lost.

You are never going to forget Tiny. You know that deep down. Remember that you have loads of videos of him, loads of pictures, you have memories, you have the scrap book and collage you are making. You have loads of stuff that tells you you are never going to forget him. Let's face it, you'll never look at a picture of him and think 'who's that' because he was far too close to your heart for that, and you loved him so much. Nothing changes that, not life, nor death.

I hope it was ok to reply. Take care

 

[TinysMom]

I never wanted anyone to stay away....not from me .... not from this thread. In many ways, I feel like our loss of Tiny is also the forum's loss....I never knew till he took ill that so many people loved him so much. In fact, when I called Randy from the vet's office that day - it was one thing he mentioned to me - how often the thread was updating and how much people loved him. I was so touched.

Your post makes a lot of sense and it helps. Sometimes I feel guilty if I'm not grieving that particular day - but then those are the days I can see Tiny's pictures and smile. The days I am grieving - nothing helps - I can't smile - I can't laugh - sometimes I can barely think for missing him so much.

One thing I'm working on ... during the good days.....is going through the photos and getting them in order and putting together a story of his life. Robin has convinced me to use Lulu.com or something like that to put together a hardcover book with photos to remember him by. My goal is to do a 100 page book with color photos of him along with stories, etc. My production costs for my copy will run about $20 or so for a book this size.

I may also make it available for download for like $5 (not sure if you can do it for less) and then donate any "profit" from the sales to help other rabbits (yes - I have something in mind). I don't want to make money off Tiny's life...but if the story of his life can help other rabbits...then I'll gladly tell the story.

I just need to figure out all the legalities because so much of his story is in his blog here on the forum - and there will be parts I'll want to edit I'm sure too....

I don't have a publication date....it is something I'm still in the process of roughing out (I am halfway expecting Zeus to find a way to eat the first draft too...so I'm expecting production delays).

But I think it will be a nice way to honor Tiny....and that makes me so happy.

Peg

 

[Wabbitdad12]

I am sorry I had not passed on my condolences earlier, but I am sorry Tiny had to leave.

Just like special people pass through our lives, Tiny is a special bun that came into your life andother peoples lives and provided laughter to people when they needed something to make them smile.

Zeus will provide you with a whole new set of adventures and zanienessin your life.

 

[LadyBug]

oh no:bigtears:! i hadn't heard about his passing(i was off line for about a week and a half because of computer troubles. and it was about then that he passed i guess.) i was just telling mom about him and miss Bea yesterday( Mr and Mrs. Claus:biggrin2. i'm so sorry for you(and miss bea) he was a bit of a celebrity on here if you ask me. he'll be missed by all.

:hug1

Anna

 

[TinysMom]

Thank you so much folks for your condolances....

Y'all may want to see this thread....

http://www.rabbitsonline.net/view_topic.php?id=33424&forum_id=1

Peg

 

[TinysMom]

I haven't cried for you since Saturday morning......but I still miss you so much.

I am starting to love Zeus - that is - I love him for being a bunny - but we're starting to build a relationship. I've sort of held myself back from him a bit - scared to love him....at least up close. I wanted to pet him - but I didn't want to pet him...

A little bit ago, I pulled him into my lap and held him. Oh did it bring back memories of holding you - or should I say TRYING to hold you.....back before we learned to love each other?

He watches me many times - like you would watch me before we built our relationship. He lets me pet him - like you did after about a month and a half of laying on the floor with you hours every day. I think in some ways we're wanting to connect to each other - but afraid of connecting.

Speaking of connecting...Miss Bea connected with him last night - to pull out a bit of loose fur. Seems like he wandered too close to her cage and she came dashing out after him. She spit the fur out of her mouth and looked at me and gave me the dirtiest look. Then she went back in her cage and thumped me off.

I thought she would be ready for a friend....but I fear perhaps she has started to bond with me. I know she does NOT want Zeus loose in the room or near her cage. If worse comes to worse - he'll move into our bedroom......but we have plenty of time before we have to face that decision...

Btw -I'm sorry for thinking you were so unfaithful to your women...I mean...you were...but you would only stare at the girls in the rabbitry - Zeus just jumps in there and gets groomed by three or four at a time...and then he winks at me if I suggest I come help him out. The running joke is he should be called Zeus Heffner (thanks Bo) or god of the giggolos (thanks Zin).

Oh well - I did some collages of you today. I'm want to order 2 collages at the end of this week from snapfish.com 'cause they're going to be 30% off till 2/29. I've decided to go with one that is photos of just you (I almost called it "The Many Faces of Tiny" but it had more than your faces...)...and then "Tiny and Friends". I can hardly wait to get them and decorate the room with them. Here are the ones I was looking at...

































Well my big buck - I gotta start getting ready for work. I miss you so much...but I'm gonna be ok. I will make it through this. Thanks for sending Zeus my way......I think.

Mom

 

[SOOOSKA]

Oh Peg, just seeing the pictures of Tiny with his Easter Bonnet make me smile. I am so glad that I madeit for him.

Thank you for putting them in your collages.

Hugs

Susan