As far as your cussing goes, as a parent that does try to keep the kids innocence in tact until somewhat older I do know that no matter how hard we try you cannot possibly avoid them hearing or reading such things. Not without keeping them completely isolated which leads to issues of it's own.
Yeah, all kids are going to learn the "bad" words sooner or later - trying to shelter them completely is futile. Imo, what's important is the context in which they're seen/heard and making sure that kids understand that swearing is something that you can get away with sometimes but many times it's completely inappropriate. My own parents rarely swore that I knew of - perhaps a word here or there that slipped out before they could catch themselves when something bad happened ("oh sh*t!" moments and such); such swears were usually followed by an apology or self-correction. I learned through example that swear words can relieve your anger/frustration a bit... but should only be used privately and are inappropriate in most situations.
I swear like a freaking sailor any time I can get away with it, but I can also turn it on and off like a switch because as a general rule it's inappropriate in public, in semi-formal settings (professional correspondence and such) and around anyone other than friends. While I may not BE a parent, I HAD parents and I see the effects of other peoples' parenting - I honestly think that teaching kids when NOT to swear is more important (and effective) than trying to stop them from ever learning the words at all. That said, it's the parent's job to decide when to allow their kids mild exposure to swearing (through TV shows and other sources) and no one else's... so there's an expectation that other adults watch their mouths when someone else's kid(s) might be around (in other words, if it's not your kid, you have NO business swearing in front of them).
I also think that being able to rant your butt off without uttering a single swear word is an important skill to have (and teach kids) - there are situations in which it's necessary to express strong, negative emotions where using curse words is going to be a disadvantage for you. For example, I can write an angry email to some customer service thing and pretty much go off on them in detail without using a single word you wouldn't want a toddler to hear. Swearing works with ranting about someone/something to a third party but if you're ranting TO/AT the cause of your frustration, they're pretty much guaranteed to tune you out if you get vulgar. When you curse someone out, it makes you come across as irrational and suggests that you're more interested in ranting than in a resolution - very self-defeating!
I can't remember it, but I've heard a saying having to do with swearing... driving me nuts I can't remember... was something that correlated an inability to express yourself without using swear words to ignorance or something like that. It's a good saying
.
I love my curse words, but I value my ability to express myself tactfully/without swearing when pissed off even more than I enjoy letting out a string of obscenities to vent. It's amazing how powerful tact and diplomacy can be when you stop to think about it. I couldn't even begin to count the number of times I've been swearing my *** off to myself or a friend about some stupid company's sh*tty whatever, then turned around and approached the company's customer service department with proper manners and gotten the best possible outcome.
Like when Home Depot was dicking me around about my dishwasher installation (lesson learned: "free" installation from HD isn't worth the hassle - it was ridiculous how many different complaints I had regarding the process)... after getting hit by a third delay, I called to complain. I knew damn well that there was nothing customer service could do to make the installation happen sooner, but I also know that CS reps have a "shut people up" slush fund if you find the magic words and I felt I was entitled to some reparations
.
CS chick kept saying "nothing I can do"; I kept reiterating my frustrations in different ways trying to find what worked. Never swore, never raised my voice, never talked to her like SHE was my problem - instead, I spoke in a way meant to garner empathy... which usually works, but she apparently wasn't the empathetic sort... finally, in an exasperated tone, I said "I'm about ready to just cancel this whole thing and go buy the same dishwasher from Lowe's." *ding* Magic words uttered, slush fund accessed - suddenly she offered me a $50 Home Depot
gift card. I graciously thanked her and returned the favor by shutting up so she could get on with her day.
Or last week, when Amazon Prime was quoting me 3-4 business day delivery times (offers placed Thursday being delivered on Tuesday is NOT "2 day" shipping!). I put in two orders - one before the sun came up and one very late that evening (so arguably counting as Friday) - and both times, had to ***** to customer service. First time, I got upgraded to 1-day shipping for free. Second time, 4 of 5 items got upgraded to arrive on Monday instead of Tuesday (5th was too far into the shipping process, so there was nothing he could do... sadly, it was the only one I actually cared about getting ASAP). The second time, the guy asked near the end how my day was aside from the shipping issues (something I guarantee he wouldn't have bothered with if I'd been treating him like crap)... I said "Pretty good - today's my birthday
." Turns out it was also his son's birthday, lol... and he randomly offered me a free $20 credit as a birthday prezzie!
CS reps have the misfortune of being scapegoats - so many people go off on them because they're pissed off at the company and see the customer service rep as "the company." The thing is, though, that the CS rep is just there for the paycheck - they had nothing to do with whatever decision the company made that ended up pissing you off. People know that, but many of them go off on CS reps anyway because the executives in charge of pissing people off are smart enough to not make it possible for angry customers to reach them.
I suspect people who work in customer service expect angry customers to get in their face about stuff, that way it's a nice surprise if they don't (rather than a disappointment when they do). They tend to be very appreciative when you show some respect and treat them like people instead of a giant bullseye (who wouldn't??), so it's in your best interest to approach them like they're a potential ally rather than a sworn enemy.
I usually go for garnering empathy first, then if that doesn't work I try being tactful yet pushy in a way that makes it clear that I'm not going to STFU and go away until I've been placated... while at the same time, insinuating that I'm willing to entertain "compromise" offers (ie that I'll accept being compensated for my inconvenience in the event my problem is unfixable)... and of course, sometimes you've gotta whip out the money card to twist their arm, since companies often require certain criteria to be met before the CS rep is authorized to offer you something. Company policy is dictated by people who are focused on the bottom line and if those people are any good at their jobs, they know it's more cost-effective to give out a freebie than to lose a customer.
Bottom line, swearing is good for letting off steam in an appropriate setting... but manners, tact and diplomacy will get you everywhere in life
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