The Grieving Corner - a place where we can express our grief

[irishlops]

this is wht it is for,,, post about holly or any one. it has helpped me a bit better.......

im sorry to hear about your bunnies and merry...... you tyed your bst. and she loved you....

so ost all you want. it will help.

my PM box is open for any one, eve if i dont know ay words of wisdom...:dude:

 

[Flashy]

Some rabbits (or any other animal or person) just touch us. I think that Merry was a very lucky girl because whatever had gone before she knew love for that last part of her life. I'm sorry I don't have any words of wisdom though.

 

[Ivory]

All righty I will post some on Holly.

I bought Holly when he was far too young to be bought- four weeks old about. Hardly ready to be away from his mom. And he was sick when I bought him- I nursed him through, in all of my inexperience, and he was doing really well for a few months. When I bought him I thought he was a girl, and when he bonded with Erik I also assumed such. Of course after Dad inspected him and announced that the area looked a lot more like a scrotum, I began to wonder. And of course when he dropped it became pretty obvious! We snipped him and a few weeks later he passed away.

I was doped up on antidepressants at the time- it's really hard to describe that feeling. But Holly's death is partly my fault, if not all. I was so sleepy all the time, I couldn't function. At this point I was sleeping about 15-18 hours a day, getting up to play with the animals, perhaps finishing some school work, and going back to bed. It was a dark time in my life. I had my printer hooked up and I vaguely noticed that the cord was within the rabbit's reach. But I was between sleep and consciousness so I didn't get up to do anything. A little later I noticed he was springing his back legs back oddly, twitching oddly and acting off. I talked to Dad about him, but when I brought him to Dad he wasn't acting badly. I put him in his cage with extra food and treats and went to sleep. This was about a 7 PM. I woke up later at midnight and he was gone.

The sad part is that even though I cried, it didn't really process what had happened until a few weeks later, when I got off of medicine despite what my doctor wanted. Yeah, I went off of Zoloft and Wellbutrin completely cold turkey, high doses too. That was trauma unto itself. But you know what? I began to get my life back. Unfortunately after getting it back...I really started to think about what happened. And three months later I sobbed as though it were only a day afterwards because I realized what truly happened...maybe that's horrible and I'd be judged for it.

Nowadays I don't really cry over it anymore but I do still miss them. It was really hard getting through those times. They were very dark, horrible times, but I've moved on and I'm truly happy now. Still I wish I could have shared that happiness with them.

 

[Flashy]

I'm so sorry about what happened with Holly. I know that what I say won't change how you feel (and will also probably mean that you find reasons why you disagree with me) but I don't believe it was your fault. We all do the best we can, at any one time, and that's what you did. Like you said, it was an awful time for you, and yet you were still doing everything that needed to be done. The effect anti depressants have can be awful, and that feeling of being knocked out and sleeping loads is so common and very horrible, but that doesn't mean you slipped up, or did anything wrong. In an ideal world you may wish you had have moved the wire, but its very possible the wire didn't kill him (like maybe it triggered the onset of some long standing, yet hidden problem). I know that's a what if, and probably doesn't help, but sometimes adding a different perspective can make you think about it in a different way.

I also think that many, many people suffer from delayed grief and I don't think anyone can judge you for it (and if they do, they have very narrow minds). It can take a while to digest what has happened for many reasons, obviously yours was anti depressants, for some people it is just that they keep functioning and then a trigger finally triggers the grief and realisation, it certainly doesn't mean you loved him less, or didn't care, or anything. Your grief was just delayed in how it affected you.

I'm so sorry about Holly, I can imagine the guilt you feel, but I personally don't feel that guilt should be held.

 

[Ivory]

Thanks Flashy. Holly helped me through a lot. He liked to hop on the bed with me and sleep under the covers. He and I were really close.

I take his death as a learning experience. Part of why it was so hard- we lost our old, faithful, wonderful Labrador two months before. And I lost my favorite hamster two months after Holly and Merry. It was quite the difficult time.

I have some pics of them in my blog, I'll post some in a little bit.

 

[irishlops]

i just want to say this for every one who has lost a bunny. young or old, sick or not.
the breeder which i got my total of 3 rabbits, which on passed away, when he heard, he rang me and said.
rabbits come intp your life for a reason, to show you how to love, trust and care. then when there job is done, they let you practice caring for them, loving them, untill they have to go.
Rest In Peace all the worlds rainbow rabbits, and hugs to the owners/slave.....

 

[JadeIcing]

I love that!

 

[irishlops]

it helpped me, like he rang out of the blue and cheered me up. because i did care for him, trusted him, and cared for him, the breeder must of lost does and kits aswell and knew how i felt.

 

[irishlops]

well. i need to say some thing.

last night i had a dream. ok. mornuing time.

i well. i looked outr at my rabbits to fed them. eyore was not in the bottom bit of cage...... but this white rabbit was.......

wa\s it eyore. ghost?

or my passed away bun trying to mzakr it out that nothing ever happened?

g2g

 

[JadeIcing]

With permission from Mary Kay. I couldn't help but want to share.

"Once a bun gets a hold of your heart, it breaks when they must leave. The love you feel for your bunny will always be in your heart and if you allow another bunny to get as close, you will be even more blessed -- your heart will grow twice its size and make room for an additional love of a bunny. The old loves never die and they never go way. And you will experience the love of another bunny heart and soul. "

Mary Kay Ferguson

 

[irishlops]

awhh... i was told some thing like that. thanks for sharin

 

[irishbunny]

Well, I've never written in here before, don't really know why, just never got around to it. So I decided I would write something about my past baby Alfie, Alfie was my first rabbit, and it is because of him I researched about rabbits and found the first rabbit forum I ever joined, it's because of him I know what I know today about rabbits and try and give them the best live I can offer.

Well I got Alfie when he was ten days old, my brother also got Alfie's brother the same day. We got them a couple of days after our birthday, while we had money. When the lady in the petshop took them out of the cage, they squealed. We knew very little about rabbits at the time. We got them a nice big hutch and a bowl, shavings, hay, water bottle, food, everything we needed to get started.

I remember the first couple of days after we got them, we would take them inside and try and try and bond with them, I had looked stuff up about them online and we were lying on the floor and gving them head massages.

One night a couple of days after we got them, my brother noticed a clear goo around Bucky's butt and the next morning he was dead when I went out to feed them, it was only a couple of months later I found out it was probably Mucous Enteritis that killed him.

I mam went down to the petshop and got my brother another rabbit, Thumper, which we still have now obviously, but my brother never had any interest in Thumper so he became my rabbit. Thumper and Alfie lived together until they started to fight and then I separated them.

Alfie was six months old when he died, and I miss him like crazy, I went out to see them after school as usual, then I went out again a couple of hours later to feed them and he was gone, I had no idea why, their was no signs. My mam rang the vet the next day, this vet is the father of the owner of the petshop we bought the rabbits off, he said he suspected that the rabbits were inbred and had weak hearts and were just suddenly dying. He advised his son not to buy these rabbits off breeders anymore.

I miss my quiet little baby Alfie, he was so tiny and didn't grow at all since I got him a 10 weeks, and he was six months when he passed. He was my first and most important rabbit, and even though we didn't have a strong bond I think about him everyday and miss him everyday.

RIP Little Man!

 

[Becca]

Awwh Gracie he was gorgeous!! xxx

 

[irishbunny]

Thanks Becca, you can really see in the third pic how tiny he was, fitted on my hand.

 

[irishlops]

its m=nice to have happy memeroys.it makes me smile.

i wish i had some.

:grumpy:





xoxoxo

 

[Flashy]

:| I lost this. It was moooooooooooooooooooooved, but I found it again, all is ok.

 

[stephiemarie78]

I miss Coco so much, I'd give anything to have one more day.

I've decided that when I go home to Indiana in September I'm going to spread her ashes under the willow tree at my grandmas. That is favorite place.

 

[irishlops]

coco would like that i thinki would give to have one more day with my bunn aswell...

 

[werecatrising]

I can't believe my Luna is gone. I'll do ok for awhile, then.... Today is hard. I usually did something special with her on Mondays. I feel like I can't breathe right now.

 

[Flashy]

It is horrible in that in comes in fits and starts. Would you like to talk abouwhat you did on Mondays?

Has your pain eased today at all?