"Peg's Place" - the Adventures & Misadventures of all the buns here

[JadeIcing]

EEK! Thank god you reminded me of the movie!

 

[NZminilops]

What to say, what to say. Hmm.

I've read over all the posts on the last couple of pages, and have to say something. I just don't know what. I'm thinking.

Peg, I know what you think of me and my mental state, and me as a person, we don't see eye to eye and don't think we ever will.

But whatever our feelings on that issue, I have to tell you, you're not alone. Depression can be this huge black pit that sucks you down and down, until you get to the point where you just don't want to get back up again. I am so sorry that you lost Tiny, who was your ladder out, but so glad also that you have your loving husband, your kids, and your other bunnies to help you. And I'm really glad you have RO to type out some of the things you are feeling.

Whatever you think of me I DO care and I have depression also and know how it can be at times. The staying in bed thing, I do sometimes, and if it wasn't for my pets I don't think I would get up at all some days.


Tracys' advice about cleaning was spot-on, I think I'll take that onboard myself.



I'm struggling not to cry reading all the stuff on here from both you and Tracy, you guys make me worry that you're gonna jump off bridges and I'll never know what happened, and I hate that, makes me freak out.

Please accept these 'online' hugs from me and please do all you need to keep yourself above water. :hug:

 

[TinysMom]

Michele,

You have no idea how much your post means to me....honestly. It means a lot - and I'm sorry that I haven't been in my thread for the last 12 hours -because I know what its like to post something like that and then wonder how its gonna sound...

I've struggled with depression (off and on) for years and I had suicidal thoughts for years....what I think/feel right now about suicide is nowhere near that intensity - and in fact - as I expressed to a friend - it isn't that I want to die...its that I don't want to live..the way I've been living. I wanted to cover my head with the pillow and sleep and wake up about 6 months from now with everything being back to normal - or at least "good".

Its funny - but after realizing why I was grieving so much about Tiny and why I felt I needed him so....it was like this huge boulder rolled off my back or something. I think that understanding the grief has become a big part of dealing with it.

I'm still in the process of coming up with a plan for dealing with stress...obviously - I can't go hold Tiny and hug him. I don't want to become THAT attached to just any one bunny either...so that is one reason why I'm putting a lot of thought into this.

Anyway - I need to get out the door soon for work - so I may post more later...but I wanted to thank you for taking the time to write what you did - it truly meant a lot to me!

 

[TinysMom]

First of all - this isn't a rabbit related post - its about me.

Today I decided to "love myself" a bit. I had some extra income and well...first the backstory.

I work as a merchandiser which means I frequently / normally wear polo shirts or blouses with a collar. Whatever I wear - for most companies they require a collared shirt.

A lot of my other stuff is...old. Shot. I still have tshirts I bought this spring...but well...I wanted a few things that were more feminine. I was telling myself that when I wear crappy clothes (not that there aren't times for crappy clothes) - its a way of tearing myself down - of showing I don't care for myself. It also isn't the most attractive to Art either (although he never complains).

I was going into Beall's (a department store) to look for a bathrobe for Eric - and I decided to look at shirts for me too. I bought 6 shirts - 5 are blouses and 1 is a more feminine top (they were all 1/2 off..). I may take one or two back - I'm going to try them on and get Robin's input...since she's younger, etc.

Then I decided to go to Ross Dress for Less (an outlet store)...I found Eric's bathrobe there (really nice one too)....and I got some more tops....then I went to Cato's where I bought two tops on clearance and one at FULL PRICE (which is really something for me). The full-price item is a grey (which isn't my best color) cowl neck short sleeve sweater that is just soooo soft. If I wear red beads with it - I can pull it off...although I bought black beads to wear with it if I can't find red ones that are long enough.

I'm dying to try all this on and get Robin and Art's opinions since I was shopping alone at the time - and anything they don't like - I can take back.

I thought about taking pics and posting them here....but alas - my hair hasn't been colored in AGES and I knew Zin would come through the computer screen and shake me for letting my roots get this bad...no...worse than bad.

So maybe I'll color my hair later this week and take pictures then to show y'all what I did.

I got into one of the tops from Beall's before Art went to bed (the non-collared one) - and his eyes lit up and he was like, 'You're so pretty in that..'.

WOW.

I paid $20 for it...at half price...and I found myself going, "I should've had this weeks ago!"

Anyway - I say all this to say - I've decided to try and take some healthy steps towards getting myself healthy again....like retraining myself to do my facial daily and maybe even (gasp) wear *some* makeup....I'm probably going to use some tanning lotion too cause I'm so pale (the tanning moisturizer type stuff)....and I'm just going to focus on doing things that I think will help me feel better about myself - to love myself.

Its not the same way Tiny loved me - but in a way - it is partly because he loved me so (and because Art loves me so much) - that I am going to do this for myself...to remind myself that I'm not trash - that I'm worthy of being loved.

I guess that's all....

 

[Flashy]

Good for you!

 

[TinysMom]

Well - it looks like for sure - 4 tops and 2 necklaces are going back.

The others? I love almost all of them. One of them (the gray cowl neck) I'm sorta debating about. It "needs" something. Not sure what...but something.

One of my favorites - a brown super long cowl neck thingy - was armless (so a cowl tank maybe?). Loved the color. The cowl was awesome. But the lack of sleeves...

Well....even though it was only $5.99 at Cato - its going back.

I know that everytime I go into my closet - I'd pick anything other than it (even though I'd love it) because it just doesn't go well with a jacket (covers up the cowl too much) and my arms are just too big. We talked about getting a shrug to go with it....but eh...I don't know. Not really my style...

I think I'd still pick any of the ones I'm keeping instead....so back it goes.

I'm pretty pleased though with what I'm keeping. A couple of tops I felt "iffy" about till Robin and I talked about them...one I LOVE but it is so not my normal style at all....but I was so in love with the pattern and fabric and stuff.

So yeah - I'm pretty happy...

 

[TinysMom]

Oh wow - I've been watching clips of Mama Mia on YouTube for the last hour or so - and laughing till I cried. How I love this movie- I'm counting down the days till it comes out on dvd.

For those who aren't familiar with the movie - its about a girl who is getting married and she wants her dad to come to the wedding. Only problem? She doesn't know who her dad is....but she's read her mom's journal from before she was born..and she has three possible fathers. So...she invites them all (without telling her mom) - and they all agree to come.

Most of these clips revolve around the mom and her two best friends who have come in for the wedding. I really love the short friend w/ glasses - she sorta reminds me of one side of me when I'm in a goofy mood....

So here are some of my favorite scenes...(* there are a couple of quick things in them that might be offensive to some - I'm a mostly conservative Christian and didn't have problems with them myself - but figured I'd warn some since we have younger members on the forum)

Mama Mia - when Donna (the mom) first sees the three guys...

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGNtimrtGiI[/ame]

Chiquita - after she's seen the three guys and know they're on the small island

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muqTfBiBlg8[/ame]

*Dancing Queen - when the friends are trying to cheer Donna up

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n9cdfQWDCWA[/ame]

*Does Your Mother Know That You're Out

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zT5NIC1Iqvw[/ame]

Anyway - I've bookmarked these to go back to whenever I need to lighten up my mood a bit....

 

[TinysMom]

I meant to post this last night - and forgot...

Last night I was feeding supper in the office....I always do the caged and penned bunnies first.

Well ok...so I was late feeding supper - everyone was hungry.

But I really don't think it was fair for Bandita to come over and start grabbing my socks and trying to pull me to the food bowl for the girls on the floor....I mean it takes me all of 7 minutes from start to finish to feed the office (unless I take some time to love on Jason).

Yeah - that's right - she came over and was nipping at my socks and trying to use them to pull me over to their food bowl.

I thought it was cute.

 

[Flashy]

That is VERY sweet

How are you doing today?

 

[NorthernAutumn]

Hi Peg;
Just wanted to write and say I feel your pain when it comes to the house. I'd rather do anything else...
I've noticed tho, that after I've accomplished a house task, I feel better and more energized. Get yourself a cheap MP3 player or walkman, and listen to it while you do the cleanup.

My mom knows how messy I can be; she developed a strategy to cope with it. She would get 3 big bags/boxes, and start picking up each thing that was on the floor/in a pile.
If I couldn't answer what it was/what it meant to me/if I used it, it would go to the toss or charity piles. I really hated it when she would do this, because I can remember exactly where I got everything, and its uses... but I had to justify keeping it...

As for the books/DVDs/Cds, I try really hard to cull them once a year. I am a librarian at my core, and love any form of information. I cull the books I've read casually (like little paperbacks whose story I can't remember), and send them to the library. They'll put them in a book sale, or add it to their own stacks for everyone else in the community to read.
This is hard for me, because I am very selfish about books; I don't like the idea of someone being careless with books. Bugs me like crazy...

The other method my (cluttery) mom uses is putting everything in vertical spaces. Horizontal spaces like tables and tops of bookcases gather junk so quick for me. I get around that by lining my books on the space, because I refuse to put anything on top of the books.

I find it so much easier to clean up after an animal or another person, than after my own junk... But I feel better after I've made some headway somewhere...
:hug: I really like your poster of Tiny. Can you send it to the printers to have a copy for your wall?

Am so glad you went shopping! I try to send any unattractive/dowdy clothes to charity, because I usually don't feel like I look A-1 when I wear them, which affects my happiness. Doing your hair will make you feel like a million bucks I can't wait to see pics! Another thing that makes me feel happy is doing my nails. Not fancy manicure/filing/cool stuff, but just putting on a nice coat of nailpolish. I know it will chip off in a few days, but I feel happy when I look at my hands

Autumn
PS: Sorry for writing.. I just read your last few posts and wanted you to know that I feel ya!

 

[TinysMom]

Flashy wrote:

That is VERY sweet

How are you doing today?

I was doing better until I looked around me at the office... YUCK. (Oh yeah - then I walked into the bedroom to get a book - another YUCK).

Ok - seriously. I got dressed this morning in the top I was debating about keeping - Art liked it...so I'm wearing it today. So I sorta feel good about myself as far as my clothes go...that's a good thing. (I do need to wash my hair and dye it again though...).

But last night I was rereading part of Peter Walsh's "It's All Too Much" book - for those who don't know him - he's one of the Organizing Experts on TLC's "Clean Sweep".... - and I came up with a plan. I'm going to kidnap him and make him come here and help me get organized. Oops...won't work. Need another plan...

In his book - Peter talks about doing a kick-start program to get rid of the SURFACE clutter. I'm going to work on that. He talks about having a set time to do it (like they do on clean sweep - they show up on X day and work) - OR - breaking it down into chunks and working at it daily. Of course - he recommends the one day approach - but he has a team when he does the show - so that is a major help to him. I don't have that.

So I'm going to work on this daily - probably by picking one room per week for the next 4-6 weeks and doing it.

Peter's acronym to give guidance is F.A.S.T.

Fix a time - to do the work
Anything not used for 12 months - goes
Someone else's stuff - goes (don't be a storage facility for other people)
[align=left]Trash can is your friend - your HUNGRY friend. Feed the trash often - feed it a lot.
[/align]

Don't feel bad about something going to trash if you've gotten your use out of it.

​

Right now - Art is working mid shift - on Monday he'll switch to days for a month. (Another yuck as I'll have to be up around 4 am to take him to work and keep the car for my work).

So for the rest of this week - since Art sleeps days....I'm going to be focusing on two areas - my office (during the day - spend 15-30 minutes working on a set area) - and also on our bedroom (which is driving me up the wall - I'm going to spend about 15 minutes before going to bed just putting some things away and getting some things thrown out).

I've decided I'm not going to worry about stuff in drawers - but I also am not going to allow myself to stuff stuff in drawers just to get it put "somewhere".

During the rest of this month I also want to focus on going through our video tapes, dvds, and cds and getting rid of a bunch. Last night I decided that I'm just going to donate to charity ALL of my video tapes (or try to). I'll make a list of the ones we want to replace - but now with hulu.com, netflix, etc. - along with the fact that many movies are on dvd for purchase pretty cheap - I'd rather just dump the video tapes.

By the way - one foot of linear space can hold approx. 11 video tapes or 20 dvds or 29 cds. With books - one linear foot of space can hold appro. 12 (paperbacks I'm guessing - not sure) - or 3 magazine boxes that have 10 magazines in them.

I am going to be ruthless about my books too. I have certain books I will always want to keep - my Bible study books (and Bibles) - my collection of novels by Karen Kingsbury - my books on organization (a handful of them - not all of them) - a few of my books on writing.

But I plan to go and buy some of the small moving boxes - fill them with books - and drop them off at charity. Pronto.

Now I know - some of you are saying, " You could have a yard sale - or sell them on ebay and make money off them...".

Sure could....but honestly? I just want them GONE and gone ASAP.

I'm torn about one thing though - and that is - do I spend my time on the organizing forum talking about this and sharing what I got done for the day - or do I put it in my blog here?

Its not really bunny-related at all. I mean - the buns will have more space to live and breathe...but its mostly about me - about us really.

Of course - this is happening when work is going to be fairly busy. I've been asked to go to Uvalde on Thursday to do 11-12 hours of work in stores that haven't been done in over a month. But hey - that will be about $100 plus $36 for travel time...not too bad for a day's work...and I'm probably going to take Art with me to have him help me (he is my "backup employee" w/ the company). So maybe it won't be too bad.

I am gonna quit writing this now because truth be told - I'm a bit anxious to get some music on and work on this.

I will probably post later and may even be proud enough of my desk area to take a picture and post it too!

 

[Wabbitdad12]

Great! Ah when your done, would you like to come to Indiana and help me?

Dave

 

[TinysMom]

Wabbitdad12 wrote:

Great! Ah when your done, would you like to come to Indiana and help me?

Dave

Do you pay mileage, travel time and expenses?

:biggrin2:

 

[Flashy]

Good for you, you sound really positive and proactive

As for where to update, write a generic reply and explanation for one forum and copy and paste it into the other That is if you want both places kept up to date on how you are doing.

 

[JadeIcing]

I just read this in Dear Abby and thought I would share. "Remember that friendships can have a life of their own and vary in intensity over time."

:biggrin2:

 

[Raspberry82]

*Cheers you on for organizing!*

It's hard to get motivated for sure, but once you do and lighten up your load of stuff, you feel so much lighter and more free! Even your home will feel more soothing and less stressful having less clutter. I used to be a major pack rat and got sick of it, so now I'm pretty ruthless about holding on to too much unecessary stuff. Just make sure not to throw out stuff that is really important/special to you in your ruthless cleaning out, Iv'e done that before in a frenzy and regretted it later on. Best rule of thumb if you're unsure of keeping something or throwing it out: stick it in a drawer somewhere for a week and if you go looking for it or miss it, keep it. If you forget about it completely, throw it out.

P.s. I love Hulu.com!

Good luck!!!

 

[TinysMom]

BRRRR! Its COLD here. Its 38 degrees but feels like 29 according to weather.com ~ and its only supposed to get up to 57 today. Can I go back to bed and cover my head? I feel like a wimp compared to when we used to live in Anchorage....but then again - I was more used to the cold then!

Thanks for the encouragement. Actually - I've done this before - several times (we've moved 4 times in the last 8 years) - but still yet - we have TOO MUCH. Way too much. Also - I've never been so ruthless before...I've always kept "our favorite" videos (funny thing though - we haven't watched them again in at least 3-4 years) and I've kept a number of books for "someday".....and I still have some books left from our homeschooling days (there are about half a dozen titles from those that I will keep - the rest I realize can go..).

Now for a bunny story - I guess Bandita is getting the idea that if she wants my attention - she should come pull on my clothing. She did that with my socks the other day - and last night I was playing computer games and she was playing tug of war with my pants. I'd reach down to pet her and she'd take off - then come back and pull on them again. I think it was a game to her.

This morning as I sit here typing - Audrey (aka Destructo) is watching me very very closely. I'm not sure if she's planning some mischief or just wanting a nap but wants to get me out the door so she'l feel more secure. But I could feel someone watching me and I turned around and she was just staring at me....in fact - she still is.

By the way - it was so nice this morning to walk into my office and see a mostly cleaned off desk......so refreshing. When I used to work as an administrative assitant to a president at a small company - I always cleaned my desk off every night before leaving the office. I need to get back into that routine for here at my home...

Well - that's it I guess. I have to get to work today. At one of my jobs - I'm putting instant rebate stickers on Fruit of the Loom underwear at Walmart for boys, girls, men and women. So ... if you're looking for underwear for your family - I know that our company is doing this nationwide in the the Walmart stores this week!

 

[Raspberry82]

I have the toughest time throwing out books and movies unless I totally hate them, haha. It's getting pretty freezing here too. We had the weirdest winter so far, mid 50s-low60s right up to Thanksgiving! Tha'ts unheard of usually. Now it's hitting 30 at night. BRR. I don't like the cold .

Your bunnies are so darling. Max likes to tug on our pants legs when he wants to demand attention or being picked up, I love it when buns do that :inlove:

The hard part for me is getting my bf to not be super messy and help organize. Now that is hard work, lol.

 

[Wabbitdad12]

I wish I could get Wabbitmom to pitch some of her clothes! Sounds like your on the right track, keep it up!

 

[JadeIcing]

TinysMom wrote:

BRRRR! Its COLD here. Its 38 degrees but feels like 29 according to weather.com ~ and its only supposed to get up to 57 today. Can I go back to bed and cover my head? I feel like a wimp compared to when we used to live in Anchorage....but then again - I was more used to the cold then!

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