2:07am EST...Thanksgiving Day, very early morning...
Been unable to sleep but that has been a trend for overa week now. Keep trying to fix it, fight it and I am not winning that battle.
Cold in the house tonight...turned up the heat to 73 and put my bathrobe on.
I have noticed that come bedtime Angelina starts to ask me all sorts of questions about things and I do not mind answering but I think it is much more a ploy to stay up than to understand something...
Once again I saw a lot of love between Dougal and Lina today....I am so very hopeful for them both. While I know Angelina misses Simon so much and even is blaming her self for his death...I think Dougal is really helping her heart to heal and her self doubt. I tried explaining to her it was not her fault but she feels guilty for not pulling her weight when she was supposed to..I tried to explain I took care of him even was she was not so we did all we could...but I understand a heart that feels the guilt regardless of reason, logic and understanding.
I went to the tractor supply store today because we have been out of litter for a few days. Angelina was out with her cousin at the movies so I took the time to wander about the store and see what was what...I found a 10lb bag of calf mana for 12 bucks or so...but it was all busted open and I did not want to buy it, the guy said he would not buy any more until that one was gone...well sorry but that is plain stupid as I will not buy a bag of that stuff when it is like that with no promise that it would not hurt my boy...
I found a bin for the food...I felt good about that even though I did not want to spend the money on it. I needed to be honest with myself though. While I never had problems as bad as here...I had some. Still, the ants run rampant at times, I find roaches every now again..and these disgusting grasshopper looking spider things that I so wish were never ever created...it is like my worst fear lived. Spiders that chase you and these things do seem to jump after you...I had one jump and hit my forehead once...I almost threw up right there...anyway..so yeah I bought the bin to keep the pellets in because I do not want some sort of creature getting into it and doing something to make Dougal ill. I tried to see if anything would work with the Hay bale...but I did not see anything that would have worked, fit in my house and not cost an arm and a leg.
I picked up a water bottle too. A fairly large size that holds a nice amount of water. Washed and clean, up and sort of used. I annoyed him a little to come and inspect what I was doing and he did and he discovered the nozzle...he did drink from it for a minute so I know he can and does get how to...but with both the crock and the bottle he is choosing the crock every time. I suppose the bottle makes me feel better that should his water get dirty or even run out he has this back up bottle he can choose to drink from.
His eating is good. I would say perhaps he was pigging out because he was so hungry after everything and now we are evening out to a norm. I would say he is probably eating 1/2 a cup to a bit over that per day.
I have a cat dish and in each side I put 1/4 cup of pellets and I sprinkle and mix around the oats to get him into it...works every time..Oats really are like his chocolate
Anyway...within a 24 hour period I need to fill it twice, but he is not eating a whole cup per day.
His poops are looking great.
He is eating his hay well. He will get up and down to munch. He does not seem to mess with the leafy parts of things...I suppose what are the tender parts of the Alfalfa...but only the stalks of the hay...ok..
He seemed worried over the change in litter so yeah I picked him up and put him in it to show him nothing would happen, he jumped right out but later on jumped back in to pee in it. He has stopped peeing anywhere in the crate but his litter pan. He will pee in the living room but only on my couch. Otherwise he uses the litter pans..and the poops, well I do not see him being overly concerned where they end up, though he is not too bad about that when he is out of the crate.
We turned the radio on in the kitchen tonight to cook dinner...um yeah..it would seem that Dougal disagrees with my choices of stations...he got so scared I turned it off.
His breathing made me worried for a bit...I almost started placing phone calls lol...but I figured he was out, he was scared and once he calmed down from it all he would be fine....it just was scary to see him breathing so very heavy like that...making his body shake and his ears bob...Lina got very worried and sat next to his crate watching him...telling me every minute what was going on till he mellowed out.
I did indeed make some inquiries about a Sable Point Rex. Roger does seem like a very nice person. I have been considering more and more about going to the PA show and I think money permitting I should go and want to go.
Since 2001 I have spent the month of Feb in mourning. Every year that it passes it is a pain that does not really ever ease.
Though a monster in his own right and a horrible horrible father...I was devasted when he died. He passed on from heart failure on Feb 6th...but no one knew till his employer went looking for him. I had a call from my estranged sister telling me he died on Feb 8th. My wedding was Feb 10...and our honey moon was canceled because of the things I needed to attend to with my father. We never did reschedule....Valentines day is no fun either. Not that year or any other thinking of a failed marriage that has made both adults utterly miserable and has caused our daughter pain as well...so yeah..I am not a fan of the month of Feb and if I could take it off the calendar I would. It was also the very last time I spoke with my sister...anything that had held any sort of thread between us, broke with my fathers death.
I looked that the 1st weekend in Feb and that Saturday is the 6th...perhaps it is a lot of things coming together to tell me to let it go and fate has found a way that I can channel my energies into something and not feel so ...devasted during that time.
I will have to look at everything and see if I can indeed make it happen, but I want to try and I think I should do it. For me, for Lina and maybe Dougal will go...We will see I suppose...and maybe...just maybe..we will bring home a baby from that show..if things work our of course. A little female Sable Point...I think it would be a great addition to our family.
I suppose I will go for now...and try to relax..sleep...After all I have to cook a Thanksgiving dinner for two people...I can not tell you howhard it is being an Italian woman and not cooking HUGE dinners that no one would eat lol...
I bought a pie instead of making one, a turkey, will make some stuffing, some greenbeans and candied yams with some canned jellied cranbberry sauce..another one of my lovely addictions I try to avoid.....