Nala and Gaz

[Imbrium]

on a side note, Gaz suddenly grew a tiny dewlap!

 

[qtipthebun]

Damn, that's a good friend. Glad to be on your good side! Packing up the zoo and bringing them with you...I can't wait to hear how Nala reacts to the cat! Q-tip says "tell her that cats are there to beat the crap out of...that's their only purpose for exisiting...for bunnies to beat up." She's got strong views on the subject.

Also, tiny dewlaps=love. Nanners here has one too. I love that it's stayed tiny, but it's there!

 

[Imbrium]

he's also got a freaking HUGE cat that's bigger than both my bunnies combined... but that cat's so fat and worthless that there's no way he's capable of posing a threat to the bunnies, lol. knowing Nala, she might even boss him around too - she's a pushy little gal! it's a good thing for the cats that you and q-tip won't be there, hehe... then the bunnies would have them out-numbered!

 

[Imbrium]

I fail at understanding my gender so, SO much of the time. I'm honestly rather shocked that they haven't taken away my "girl card" yet... perhaps because I don't actually understand it, but can gather enough of the gist to translate? though then you'd think I'd get in trouble for translating...

if your husband decides to divorce you because, as much as he's always loved you, he just can't take the fact that you're never around any more... why the f*ck would you ask him - REPEATEDLY - if he's ok??

I mean, seriously! of COURSE he's not ok... but god knows he doesn't want to talk to you about it or even tell you that, seeing as he's divorcing you and making some vague attempt (that isn't going well) to get on with his life! I don't care if it makes you feel better to ask, it's STUPID to ask. what the hell is he supposed to say? especially the sixth time you ask him!

girls piss me off. they do stuff that makes guys bat-sh*t crazy and then I have the "fun" of being the friend who comes along and cleans up after the crazy-fest.

Here was my first response to her in weeks... "here's my cup of care. Oh look, it's not there" nuff said.

ok, as much as this whole situation is no laughing matter... that text just now made me laugh so hard it hurts.

I just hope he keeps it together ok long enough for me to get my ass over there... the whole "bi polar" thing is acting up at the moment and making the process of getting my sh*t together and getting ready for a trip FAR more difficult than it oughta be, which is awfully inconvenient... I feel like I could really stand to have someone doing for me what I'm *trying* to get to Houston to do for him, and that's really not helping matters one bit. it's hard to disperse crazy with more crazy - they don't exactly tend to cancel each other out >.>

I'm hoping that instead of the crazy stock-piling out of control, it'll do some exponential sh*t and then magically convert into something helpful, like maybe becoming so massive it collapses on itself and forms a black hole for "crazy" and just sucks all of it up and makes everything normal again.

and yeah... I'm a little bit on the drunk side and sharing the bizarre ramblings I normally keep to myself... it's a peculiar situation that warrants needing an outlet for once, 'cause it's not going away on its own this time. I have no freaking clue how to deal with divorce... I normally steer way the hell clear of other peoples' break-ups in general; divorce is a whole new ball-game, and I can't dodge it like I usually do, because it's my best friend and that's a total exception to my "no freaking drama" rule. and as a note, this whole thing makes me feel really old, lol (especially since Jay's a little bit younger than me). when the hell did we become grown-ups?? I never agreed to that >.>

 

[PaGal]

I am only just now getting my second cup of coffee so it may not make as much sense as in my head. Divorce is tough even if you are the one that chose the course of action. I am sorry your buddy is going through this and I know how challenging it can be to try and help someone through this. Unfortunately all that you can really do is offer a shoulder and an ear.

I think only time can heal the wound and make it feel better just as with death. All of the condolences are nice but it is only time that makes it all bearable.

It is so very hard and painful when there is something you are missing in the relationship although you love the other and they either refuse to work on things or refuse to make adjustments so that both may be happy and enjoy. It is so hard to love someone and make the decision to move on in life without them because you cannot settle for less.

 

[Imbrium]

indeed. the whole situation sucks SO much, and I'm kinda pissed at Debbie for being mad at him for leaving when she refused to work on anything when he kept bringing it up. I really wish they could've worked stuff out, as they used to be incredibly happy together and, before things went to hell, she was *really* good for him.

best I can offer him is some temporary distraction and a reminder that no matter how much divorce sucks, there are still things in life worth enjoying (like friends and gliders and bunnies... and the delightfully evil cell phone signal blocker I bought for us to play with, even if it has a depressingly small radius of 10 feet, lol - that got him a bit excited).

 

[whitelop]

Divorce has to suck. I have never been divorced, but my parents got divorced when I was 9 and I don't really remember it. All I know is that some stuff has come out into the open recently that has made me think differently about both of my parents.
Anyway, as much as it sucks; there are 3 sides to every story, his side, her side and the truth.
(bear with me, I've yet to make it through my one cup of coffee and its now noon.)
As much as you have to support your friend, which you're not wrong for doing. People don't just up and decide that they aren't going to spend time with their spouse, that they aren't going to come home. Something happens that makes that person do those things. Something that the other person did, changes the way that the person who is gone is thinking about their relationship and the person that they are in a relationship with.
I'm not say that your friend is totally to blame or to blame at all. But not always does the light just go out on the relationship and you're forced to choose to end it. Sometimes its something that happens, that isn't being said aloud.
There is a quote from When Harry Met Sally, its the best movie line I can think of, its; "its not infidelity that breaks up a marriage, its the reason behind it."
I'm not trying to say that she is cheating or anything, so don't take it like that. Look at it in the broader sense, like there is something else going on that YOU don't know about. As much as its sad and as hard as it is to have those papers drawn up and have the signatures on them...only they know what was going on during their marriage. As much as he wants to say it was all her, then there is definitely something adding to the flames from his side.

But to put the blame on all women isn't fair! All people are crazy. People in a general sense suck. But to say that woman are crazy for asking whats wrong is harsh. You think men don't make US crazy? Have you ever lived with a man or spent a large amount of time with a man? There are only so many dirty socks on the coffee table or plates on the arm of the couch or dirty clothes in the floor or muddy foot prints on a clean floor or grass clumps or greasy door knobs or dirty towels IN the shower or shoes in the middle of the floor or no food in the house or not taking the trash out ever, even though its your only job...that you can take before you f-ing snap on someone. I mean, really. Women aren't the weaker sex, men are...because they have women who take care of them and make sure everything gets done. Now, I'm not a man hater or anything, I'm just a plain ol' people hater. But I live with a man who was taken care of by a woman who took care of everything and now I take care of everything for him and my son, who will have been raised by a woman who takes care of everything and will probably end up with a woman who takes care of everything. Its the way of the woman, and to say that we're crazy or that we're whatever...isn't true. Its ALL people. I'm not a feminist either, it just angers me to see people say "its the woman who did this" and put no blame on the man. Marriage is a team effort. It never ends, you have to work together every single day of your married lives, just before someone is off at work or at a friends house doesn't mean that marriage is on a break, you're still a team no matter what. So if one person quits the team, there is a good chance that the other team member did something to weaken the team.

I'm not trying to take anything away from your friends pain, but its unfair to point all the fingers at her. I've also had very little coffee and my feet are cold, so my brain isn't working properly.

 

[Chrisdoc]

I sort of agree with everyone. It is really difficult to know exactly what happened in any situation unless you´re actually living it. My friend´s dad used to say that there are two sides to every story and you should hear both before making a judgement and if we are bf´s with anyone, we tend to believe what they tell us and I´m not saying that is wrong but they are seeing the situation from their perspective and it may be different from the perspective of the other person involved. I am sure that the reasons for their separation if you say they were very much in love must be something much more complicated and maybe one or both of them has changed...relationships do change and so do people.

Only thing you can do is be there for your friend and support in whatever way he needs you. And I think we sometimes do ask people if they´re OK when we know they´re not because we think they might tell us the real problem they have cos maybe we don´t understand fully what we´ve done...

You´re doing what you should do Jennifer being a good friend and giving him something else to focus on. Hope he pulls through but it is such a shame.

 

[kmaben]

Is it the cold feet, the no coffee, or a culmination of both that stop the brain from working? Does the coffee warm the feet and get the circulation going to make your thinking process go faster? Anywho

As to your packing problems just swing by my place and borrow what you need. Have dog crates, an x-pen, nic grids, litter pans out the ass end, plenty of dishes, probably enough hay for a couple of days.
Any toys you wanted to bring (bun wise) cant take up too much space then you have room for all the glider stuff. There may even be some toys the buns aren't using at the moment. Some things they flat refuse to play with and are just lying around. As long as you didn't take anything out of Shya's pen. Daddy would have a thing or two to say but eh, mi casa es su casa. My parents and Omar are use to people coming through. Just expect chaos and you wont be disappointed.

So sad I wont be there to play with the phone blocker. That would be kidney bursting hilarious. How you could keep a straight face is beyond me. If you do go to that petstore just ream the hell out of them. I mean tear them a new bum hole. Those jerk offs deserve it for how they treat animals both land living and marine. Just dont come back with any hamsters. Although I am thinking about another campbells when I get back. No I'm not.

Anywho dont get arrested! Crocs is having a 70% sale?! What!

 

[whitelop]

Kaley, it was an accumulation of both the cold feet and little coffee that caused my brain to malfunction. Its like I can't think about anything but my feet being cold and how little coffee I've had, so things don't come out right. Makes no sense.

 

[Imbrium]

Excuse the following rant - it's hardly the ideal way to bring my blog back to life, but I need to vent a little and I figure this is the safest option since people presumably won't bother reading my blog if they don't actually like me .

Sheesh... what a lovely "welcome back to RO" PM to find in my inbox >.> (from a member who joined shortly before I resurfaced)

I'm leaving this site because of you. You're everywhere I turn on this board. No one can say anything without you having to add your bit. You're like a 'know it all stalker' here.

As an added touch, the message title was accompanied by a big red thumbs-down emoticon.
I get it, you think I suck. Guess what? That feeling just became mutual >.>

Oh, and I love the complete lack of both details and constructive criticism - blanket accusations are always welcomed and helpful feedback!

I attempted to send this response:

Is there something wrong with doing my best to help? It's not like I go around telling everyone else they're wrong or trying to shove my opinions down peoples' throats - I'm quick to agree to disagree in the majority of cases and unless I've got a lot of research to back what I'm recommending, I phrase things as simply being my opinion or my thoughts on something. I know I can be overly-chatty at times, but that's just my personality - I talk a lot and I've been spending a lot of time on RO lately. No one else has ever complained about it so I assume if I bother anyone, they simply choose to ignore me.

If your goal here is to make me feel guilty for genuinely trying to help people, it's not going to succeed. Why? Because it's silly to leave a community you otherwise like because one person's posts rub you the wrong way when you could simply disregard that person's posts instead. After all, it's not like I've been going around personally addressing or criticizing you.

[There was a little bit more to the message, as I had thought of a single potential misunderstanding which I attempted to politely explain - if my post was misinterpreted as being at all directed towards theirs, it would've been because I left the thread open for quite a while and then posted without refreshing it first (meaning I didn't even see their post before submitting mine). I've omitted that bit, as the specifics it gave would defeat the point of removing the PM author's name from their quoted message - just because I need to vent a bit doesn't mean I should call the person out by name publicly.]

...only to find that I'd been placed on ignore.

Since when is it a crime to be chatty??

I rarely disagree with people and when I do - especially if it's on a public forum - I strive to have facts that support my side and to disagree as diplomatically as possible. I may not always succeed but if I have something very snarky to say, I'll at least say it privately. I never try to instigate arguments on the forum - if I rub someone the wrong way with a post, it certainly wasn't deliberate. I would *never* make personal attacks on anyone no matter how much I disagree with them. I do my absolute best to get along with everyone but I completely understand that not everyone will get along with me... and if I know I bother someone, I'll even try to avoid posting anywhere that could strike up a conflict with them - I'd rather keep my mouth shut than start drama on the forums because god knows no one else wants to get dragged into that.

I also spend a lot of time going out of my way to help, frequently doing extra research just to make sure I'm giving the best answers I possibly can... simply because I love bunnies and truly want to help other bunny slaves by sharing any knowledge and experience I've gained in my almost year and a half with Nala and Gaz. I'm always open to learning new things and willing to consider evidence that suggests I'm wrong about something. I strive not to phrase my posts as absolutes (unless I specifically state the "absolute" as being my own personal opinion or I have research to back it up and know that the information I'm providing is widely accepted/very unlikely to be contested), leaving room for opinions that disagree with mine.

As much as I feel I'm entitled to my own opinions, I feel equally strongly that everyone else is entitled to theirs. On occasion, I even try to help two dissenting opinions understand each other better - in this thread, for example (from the linked post to the bottom of that page), I saw a potential rift forming between breeders/pet owners and attempted to explain my take on why the two groups do certain things VERY differently and why those differences don't equate to different qualities of care. The whole breeders vs "pet people" issue can get pretty volatile around here - I honestly think a lot of it comes down to people not realizing that the hay on their own side of the fence isn't always better, it's just a different cut ... so, I made an attempt to diffuse things by trying to mediate. While I didn't do a perfect job, I felt like I helped at least a little bit to derail the potential drama by attempting to look at things from both sides.

Yet, despite all that, I'm apparently offending someone simply by being very active and chatty on the forums. Odd, since I always thought that chatting was the main purpose of forums.

~~~~~

I would NEVER send someone a PM like the one I got tonight, as I was raised to believe it's rude to criticize and judge someone's personality so harshly (especially since it's not something one can just magically change about themselves even if they want to).

While we're at it, I think it's unreasonable and just plain asinine to inform someone (who hasn't deliberately provoked you, no less) that they're a massive problem while simultaneously denying them any opportunity to try to work things out (by putting them on ignore even as you send them a message).

That PM is tantamount to saying "By simply being yourself, you ruin this entire forum for me, so I'm going to throw a temper-tantrum at you and then stomp off like a little kid." Wouldn't it make far more sense to use a tactful approach and at least attempt to come to an understanding of sorts with the other person that makes it possible for the two of you to coexist peacefully on the same online forum?

Is it wrong of me to think that the person in question needs to get over themselves and learn to disregard my posts if they dislike me so damn much instead of blaming me for ruining the forum and then stomping off? After all, just because I talk too much sometimes doesn't mean anyone else is obligated to actually listen!

/rant... *sigh*

 

[JBun]

Well, I for one am GLAD you're back!!!

It's nice hearing from you and how your critters are doing, not to mention having one more person to help answer people's questions is also great. I always find your opinions/answers helpful and informative, and I'm sure the people who's questions you've answered are very grateful for your insight as well. Unfortunately sometimes people can just be rude and there's not a whole lot you can do about it. I'm sorry this is how you seemed to be welcomed back. But just remember there are many more of us around here that are happy to hear from you and your opinion on things.

And now you've had your chance to rant and let if off your chest..... We need pics of the girls

 

[Imbrium]

Oh, I know I was totally exaggerating about it being "my welcome back," lol - I've been thanked for my help more than enough to make up for one rude comment (to be fair, even helping a single bunny would be more than enough). I just find it utterly ridiculous to be so offended by someone being chatty on a forum!

I do give my 2c a lot, but an awful lot of the time I'm mostly just agreeing with someone else to back them up - hearing something from one person is good, but having multiple people agree is even better (especially if you're new to the forums and don't know who all is considered to be "the reliable sources" on a given topic)! I figure people are more likely to listen with a little repetition, plus sometimes the second person thinks of that one important thing that the first one forgot - for example, you and I are always affirming and adding to each others' posts .

 

[Chrisdoc]

I haven´t been on here for over a week. Been away in the UK, computer conked out and can´t get it to connect to the WIFI and just come on here and see your name and you know, I was so happy to see you back. You´ve always been full of info and so helpful. If one person doesn´t like how you do things, it´s entirely their problem and it does seem a bit infantile to leave the forum instead of just not looking at your posts. I think different opinions are great as long as we treat all of them with the respect they deserve. Hope all your babies are doing fine, I saw somewhere that you now have four sugar gliders....wow. Hope Nala and Gaz are thriving as well. I for one am very happy to see you back here. :missyou

 

[Aubrisita]

As a new member and a new bunny mommy, I enjoy reading your posts and I am glad that there are knowledgeable and responsible people here to give advice. So thank you for being chatty. I know Stache appreciates it because it helps him to stay healthy.

 

[Tauntz]

I too am glad you are back & have missed your posts! You are one of the people that responded to my posts when I first joined with my two does, Faith & Hope. When looking for advice on a forum, I look for experience (number of posts & length of membership) as well as more people agreeing with the response. Your posts have always been very helpful, I've learned allot from your posts to be a better bunny mom.

Please don't let anyone's "personal" opinion of you or your posts bother you. You are a very beneficial member to RO. People who feel like other people should leave or do whatever they think, needs to get off of themselves, my personal opinion. Welcome back & thank you for all the good advice that you have provided me & my bunny girls! Bunny hugs to you & your furry family!

 

[Imbrium]

Thanks for all the support, guys - it always makes me really happy to know I've helped! I'm honestly not all that bothered by the message; I just needed to rant it out once so that I could be done with it, hehe. Unreasonable people irk me!

Heck, the #1 reason I'm so chatty and active here (when I'm not AWOL, anyway) is because not so long ago, *I* was the newbie bunny owner with lots of questions and the great people here on RO took the time to give me lots of helpful advice... so I stuck around to "pay it forward" . We're a community here - some of us do more of the learning and some do more of the teaching but all of us, from the newest to the most veteran bunny owners, have something to offer and something left to learn.

I saw somewhere that you now have four sugar gliders....wow. Hope Nala and Gaz are thriving as well.

Naughty little naughties, every freaking one of them! I'll see about getting some pics of all our naughties posted in the next day or two... photobucket's been disagreeable (it and the forum don't seem to get along), so I have to use tinypic to get pictures to not be tiny. Unfortunately, most of my pics are on a flash drive which my computer readily admits is filled up but doesn't want to retrieve stuff from, meaning I've gotta find what I want in photobucket, download it to my comp, then re-upload it to tinypic *grumble*.

Nala, Gaz and I have just discovered that cherry-infused craisins are vastly superior to the pomegranate-infused craisins we once thought were the epitome of good bunny treats. The girls positively FIEND for the cherry-infused ones!

 

[Sophie's Humble Servant]

As one chatty person to another, you're all good in my book. So what if you have lots of input? At least it's helpful! What's not helpful is that person sending hateful, negative comments to you! Those kind of things make people leave the forum, please don't, as you've a lot of valuable info to share!

 

[selbert]

Well how RUDE! I'm a newbie to this site and I've found all your comments incredibly helpful and caring. Though I'm a newbie I have tended to stick my nose right in! Everyone likes to!

Plus I do have to admire the changing pictures in your avatar, if someone doesn't like what you say: at least you make the page look pretty!

Anyway, chat away! I'm enjoying it

 

[Imbrium]

Those kind of things make people leave the forum, please don't, as you've a lot of valuable info to share!

As if you people could EVER get rid of me so easily!! I may wander off, but I always come back.

@ selbert - I love the rotating avatars, too, and a few others on this site have one! It's one of the many things I've learned from others on RO and pretty easy to do (you can download a trial version of the necessary software for FREE). Here's the thread on how to do it:
http://rabbitsonline.net/view_topic.php?id=26593&forum_id=66