I feel like I'm failing Zeus & could use input

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TinysMom

TinysMom

Well-Known Member
Joined
Apr 4, 2005
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Location
, Texas, USA
I've been hesitant to share this because I'm afraid it will come across wrong. So let me start out with the most important piece of information:

I LOVE ZEUS DEARLY AND HAVE NO DESIRE TO REHOME HIM!

Ok...here is the backstory....when I got Zeus - it was so he could live in the office with me and some other bunnies. However, in the course of his many explorations - he found the garage and by his choice - he has moved out there (it helps that we moved his food out there after he seemed to want to be out there).

He and Miss Bea are no longer really bonded - and she has moved into our bedroom (and yes - she sleeps on the bed at night). Zeus has a doe in the garage named Tibba that he likes to hang out with.

The thing is....Zeus is happy to be in the garage. When I bring him in the house to try and spend time with him - he's unhappy. When I go out in the garage to sit with him (its hot right now) - I'm unhappy.

Part of me really really wants to move him back into the office - WITH ME - so he and I will spend time together. Whenever I've tried - he's snuck back out to the garage as soon as he could.

I feel like he's going to live here and be loved....but from a distance. He doesn't want the relationship with me that I had with Tiny....and I feel like if I don't push him to move back in the house - I may regret it (because we won't bond) - and yet - he is so happy with HIS garage and being king of all the bunnies out there...that he keeps going back out there.

Would it be wrong of me to let him live out there and maybe - sometime down the road (not right now)- get a younger flemmie to live in the office as "my" rabbit?

I miss having a flemmie around - and I love Zeus dearly. But what he wants isn't really to be near me....and I just feel so confused.

I walk out in the garage and want to bring him into the bedroom to spend time with him - and he is dead-bunny flopped and just so happy out there. Maybe I'm wrong to try and bring him in and have him with me...maybe I'm being selfish.

Help?

Oh - and I'm not in any hurry for another flemmie....I haven't been looking for any. I'm just saying - that at some point - I would like to have another one that was an "in-house" pet....(the garage is just a few feet from our bedroom and the door is always open for him to come into the house).

Peg
 
You didn't do anything wrong !!! Zeus came from different circumstances than Tiny. Zeus has been used to being "on his own" for a couple years. His time in the shelter left him alone with the other bunnies, so it makes sense that he'd be most comfortable as "King of the bunnies". He's a pretty smart rabbit. He knows what he wants and he's communicating it to you, perfectly loud and clear (he got you to move his food out there, didn't he?)

From my point of view, to make him the happiest, you'll have to put his needs ahead of yours for now. Wait a bit to see how things work out and if you come across a younger Flemish that might fit in as a companion bunny, go for it. Nothing wrong with that!
 
I agree with BG. You're doing fine, it's just that Zeus is an independent kind of guy. I don't see why you think you have failed him, he sounds to me like he is happy as a clam.
 
I agree - as much as you (in fact, probably most of us) wanted another larger than life, happy-to-be-with-humans flemmie, Zeus has found his own niche, and that seems to be a King of the Garage Flemmie. If it makes him unhappy to be in your office, and he prefers his place in the garage, then perhaps that's the way to go.

We all knew that Tiny couldn't be replaced. He was unique, and so is Zeus. Sometimes, if we want our bunnies to be happy, then we have to put what we want on a back burner. Zeus has a wonderful life with you, whether it be in the office or in the garage, and in no way are you failing him. Just give him the option to come back into the office if he wants, and if he doesn't, then perhaps look to another younger bun in the future.

Jan
 
Peg as you know I had a huge hole in my heart when I lost Sam. I do want a flemmie some day. First we came to the realization that Wyatt couldn't leave. We loved him. Rob bonded to him but I couldn't at first. I loved him but I couldn't find that bond that I wanted. That I needed.

Than came Chibi. This pint size little thing, with a huge personality. He helped fill the gaping hole. How was it this little thing did that? I didn't mean for it to happen. I think when you try to find that connection you don't get it. When you let it happen. When you don't try it has a way of finding you.

As I told you earlier I REALLY need to stop looking for these bunnies because somehow the ones that are meant to be mine find me.
 
Peg, you have given Zeus the world. he's so happy with his harem of girls.... and you know something else? I was thinking about how you wanted Ms. Bea to be happy and that was part of getting him....

He helped her get through the rough times.... and who's sleeping in your bed now??? She's happy too!

Zeus has/had a purpose in your life and he's fulfilling it - you may feel like it wasn't right or isn't right but he's doing fine! now you need to help you.... a flemmie for you and Ms. Bea might be in the near future...... go with your heart just like you did with Zeus. You know he's special and he was meant for you and the bunny girls. You haven't failed him - you've given him the purpose and love he deserved for so long... and he has Tibba to adore him now! along with the line of others waiting to groom him LOL!

The only one being failed is you needing a big Flemmie to keep you company - Ms. Bea is trying but she has too little of a body!
 
Thanks folks. I guess I really haven't failed him - I'm mainly dealing with disappointment about the fact that he and I aren't close.

I want him in here - but I know he's happiest where he is - so I'll just let him have the garage (for now) and maybe bring him in every once in a while for some treats and socialization and see what happens. Worse case scenario? He becomes the happiest "King Bunny of the Garage" this house will ever see....

I guess maybe I needed to vent because I wondered if it was my fault that we weren't close..


 
I agree with everything that has been said so far, he is happy so in no way you are failing him, but i also wanted to add an idea. You try and bond with him in your bedroom but you say your garage is only a few feet away, so he will be tempted back into his domain, but could you spend some time with him in your yard so he has somewhere new to explore, and a more neuteral territory for you both so he sees you and has his mind taken off his garage. Then if you get closer you can bond more in your bedroom.
 
TinysMom wrote:
Thanks folks.  I guess I really haven't failed him - I'm mainly dealing with disappointment about the fact that he and I aren't close.
Click to expand...

But I bet he dosen't think that way, you have given him what he wants, you left him in the garage, he probably feels closer to you (maybe not physically, but mentally) for giving him what he wants then to anybody else. And for sure you havnt failed him!

I think grumpybabys has a good idea :)
 
grumpybabies wrote:
I agree with everything that has been said so far, he is happy so in no way you are failing him, but i also wanted to add an idea. You try and bond with him in your bedroom but you say your garage is only a few feet away, so he will be tempted back into his domain, but could you spend some time with him in your yard so he has somewhere new to explore, and a more neuteral territory for you both so he sees you and has his mind taken off his garage. Then if you get closer you can bond more in your bedroom.
Click to expand...
This is a great idea - but one that I think will have to wait until fall.....its usually about 85 degrees here in the early morning - hitting 100+ most afternoons now. I work in the early am while it is still cool .... but I will keep that in mind for later on.

I think since it is so hot today, I may try to get Zeus and Tibba to come into the bedroom with me for a bit. I have some tasty lettuce....and some carrots. I might even be able to find some craisins.

Currently Miss Bea is in there with her new man (New Hope) - she jumps in his box every night at bedtime....I just wish she'd STAY in his box all night. I also have a gal in my bedroom who is fighting wry neck....maybe Zeus would like to meet her??? Her name is Lakota.

Oh well - I guess I might as well go and try and see how Zeus and Tibba do - if I can catch them to pick them up...


 
I am so glad I posted here....thanks to the ideas I received - today I brought Zeus and Tibba in my bedroom for a "nap". They've been in there since shortly after I posted.

At first - Miss Bea and Zeus sort of ignored each other then they sniffed each other and did a bit of token grooming - then each went to lay beside/with their new mates. They sort of reminded me of an old married couple that has a "friendly" divorce for the sake of the kids....and then try to ignore each other at functions they both have to go to.

Miss Bea spent most of the time (except for the last 30 minutes) snoozing with New Hope in his container.

I snoozed for a bit - Zeus and Tibba were still on the bed when I woke up. Then I started petting Zeus....and I was shocked. For over half an hour - I'd pet him for a bit - and then stop - and he'd nudge my hand and put his head underneath it. He finally decided to eat some lettuce and wanted me to stop - but when he was done eating - he wanted me to pet him again. He was so cute!

Then about half an hour ago - I handed out fruit loops and Miss Bea came out of New Hope's box and spent some time with Zeus. They groomed each other - then she asked Tibba to groom her. For a while - they laid as a trio - with Tibba in the middle. Then Zeus got in the middle and at one time - both girls were grooming him.

I've explained to Miss Bea that she can't move out to the garage right now for a few reasons....but that I'll bring the two of them into the bedroom in the afternoons for some time together. (That is the hottest part of the day).

I also talked to Zeus about moving into the office....eventually. I pointed out several things - like he'd have lots of paper to shred and he'd get lots of pets. I also pointed out that there is already a harem of girls in here and that he would have to figure out if I need to move them to the rabbitry or if they could stay in here. I said he and Tibba could spend a couple of afternoons a week in here and see how they felt.

Now most of you will say I'm crazy - but he kept watching me and twitching his ears. Everytime he heard the word "office" he'd look at me funny - almost as if he knew what I was saying. I also told him that the decision would be up to him and Tibba.

The hilarious thing was - I no sooner said that - then he leaned over and nudged her and started grooming her....and then he looked back at me.

I think Tibba was a bit jealous of all the time Zeus kept asking me to pet him...but other than that - the afternoon went fairly well. I got some pictures to update my blog with...


 
I wonder if you could be giving signals (not on purpose, or that you even know) that it is Tinys space. Not sure that makes sense. Maybe he needs you to find a space that is yours and his?
 
Zeus and Tibba have been put back in the garage - Zeus flicked us off the whole way back to where he likes to be.

Miss Bea is now in the bedroom and sulking. She did not want them to leave "her" room. Meanwhile the Zeus & Tibba are thrilled to be back "home".

I think the best thing to come out of this is - Zeus and Miss Bea are willing to be together again (Tibba is almost ok with it - she's getting there)....and I found out Zeus still loves to be pet when he's in the mood for it.


 
Sounds like you have had a wonderful day, and an awesome gift in having time to spend them. I know that Miss Pumpkin likes to be loved on HER terms, and hers alone. I'm totally willing to accept those terms...cuz I need the love time!!!!
 
I think that whatever makes Zeus happy is what you should give him.
Babette and Beau had no time for me at all (until Babette was sick)..but they were perfectly content with each other.
it's best to let them pick what they want and some of them (Maybe not Zeus) will pick your office.

Justbe happy that you made them happy doing whatever...
 
I'll post more pics in his blog - but here he is on my bed (I had stripped the bed so you are seeing him on the mattress)...

DSCN3811.jpg



 
What a fantastic story and pic of Zeus! Such a puzzle to work out - but the "puzzle" is there and with patience. love and strength I think everyone will find what they are looking for :D.

Zeus is SO handsome and a handful at the sametime - can only imagine the "want" of making him realize how great he has it.

Hang in there!
 
Sometimes I am stupid and have to learn things the hard way....or the stupid way. Whatever..

Last night an ad came across a list I'm on - a gal is getting out of rabbits and selling - among other things - her flemish.

Here is his picture:

http://www.leatherngrace.com/Flemish.html

I don't care about the BOB and all that stuff. I care about temperament. I wrote to her about me and we emailed a couple of times - no commitment on my part - largely because he's so far away and because I'm not in a hurry to get another flemmie - not even sure if I should.

After we emailed - I went back and started looking at pictures of Zeus and I realized (as I sat here in tears)...

I really and truly love him - he has made a space of his own in my heart - and I'm not gonna give up on a "relationship" with him. It might mean afternoon playtimes on my bed for a bit...and maybe grabbing moments of time with him every so often...

Anyway - I'm going to still leave the door open for this other guy....but I suspect that I am not going to get him. (I still have to pay off two friends who helped me buy the air conditioners when our central a/c broke).

I think though - it took thinking about getting another flemmie - to make me realize just how much I love Zeus and how much I want to work on building a relationship with him.

Folks who reminded me that it took time w/ Tiny are so right...it did take time - lots of time. I need to invest my afternoons (when I'm not working) into building a relationship with Zeus instead of just feeling mopey cause he likes the garage.

And if it means he stays in the garage...thats ok too. I just want him to have a relationship with me that is good before I really seriously consider bringing in another flemmie for the office...
 
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