pla725
Well-Known Member
Don't worry about that. You were grieving at the time. I don't know how I even managed to ask and that was before Simon was put down. They still may be able to get some tissue samples.
RIP: Pippi is having a few problems
- Thread starter cheryl
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AngelnSnuffy
Well-Known Member
Cheryl, please try to not be so hard on yourself. It's such a shock to your body to lose a close friend like this, you just didn't think of it. It was/is alot of grief to deal with. I remember how it feels, I was there not long ago. You're definitely not an idiot or a fool or anything else you feel like calling yourself-don't. I know, easier said than done. We're here for you:hug:.
Cheryl, you are already feeling vile enough right now, why make yourself feel worse by giving yourself a hard time about each and every single thing, when actually, you haven't done anything wrong. You have acted through love and grief, it may not seem like it now, but the way you have acted and the things you have done has shown how muhc you love Pippi, so why beat yourself up for loving him, there is nothing wrong with that at all.
cheryl
Well-Known Member
Pippi has now joined his sweetheart Strawberry,those two had a very close bond,Strawberry loved her little man like crazy...she was always licking Pippi,and where ever Pippi went,Strawberry was right there as well.....When Pippi got sick and he was at the vets all the time,Strawberry would be at home anxiously waiting for him to come home,and she was always guaranteed to smother him in kisses...bunny love is the most sweetest thing to watch.
Then one unexpected morning,i found Strawberry had died and i don't know why,she died on the 18th June 07,just two days after my birthday....she died when Pippi needed her the most....and i'm sure that's when Pippi started to slowly get a lot worse...he lost his baby girl and he missed her because i seen the sadness in his eyes...it broke my heart into tiny little pieces....but with a lot of love from me,he over come his grief even though he was having health issues as well.
Pippi was one brave little fighter...he gave it everything he had in him until the end and that i am grateful to have known him and to have shared my life with him for 3 1/2 years.
Oh Pippi you will be forever in my heart baby boy.
I can just imagine when Strawberry seen you enter the Rainbow Bridge..she would have been so excited and i'm sure she camehopping straight overto you...maybe even knocked you over in pure joy smothering you in lots and lots of bunny kisses.
You two are together forever now
Mummy loves you and misses you so much already
Thinking about you always
Then one unexpected morning,i found Strawberry had died and i don't know why,she died on the 18th June 07,just two days after my birthday....she died when Pippi needed her the most....and i'm sure that's when Pippi started to slowly get a lot worse...he lost his baby girl and he missed her because i seen the sadness in his eyes...it broke my heart into tiny little pieces....but with a lot of love from me,he over come his grief even though he was having health issues as well.
Pippi was one brave little fighter...he gave it everything he had in him until the end and that i am grateful to have known him and to have shared my life with him for 3 1/2 years.
Oh Pippi you will be forever in my heart baby boy.
I can just imagine when Strawberry seen you enter the Rainbow Bridge..she would have been so excited and i'm sure she camehopping straight overto you...maybe even knocked you over in pure joy smothering you in lots and lots of bunny kisses.
You two are together forever now
Mummy loves you and misses you so much already
Thinking about you always
cheryl
Well-Known Member
Flashy wrote:
Tracey,i don't know why i do that for....i guess it's because i just feel like crap at the moment...but then i suppose i'm always like that
Maybe give yourself a break and try to rationalise it then. Like if you think X you did was stupid, think, ok, but I did it because of Y, and that is ok, because that means Z.
Like, you drove to the vets without thinking because you were upset and that's ok because it means you love Pippi, that kind of thing.
Like, you drove to the vets without thinking because you were upset and that's ok because it means you love Pippi, that kind of thing.
cheryl
Well-Known Member
Tracey,that's what i mean when i say you all are realizing what a hopeless human being i am....i wish i could be in more control of situations,but i don't know how,and then i start hating myself because i go into full panick and i don't rationalise things in a proper way,i get very stressed out very easy...it's only later when i have calmed down then i realise i could have done things in a different way,and then most times it's already to late.
Cheryl
Cheryl
I'm going to be blunt. You are wrong. I can't speak for anyone else, but I am sure I know the answer, but I don't see you as a hopeless human being, I see you as someone who is struggling. There is nothing wrong with struggling, loads of people do.
I don't mean rationalise it as you do it, that's not always possible, but afterwards, when you see you could have done something different, then look back at what you did and allow yourself to see that what you did was not as negative as you think, and it happened for less negative reasons.
Lots of people panic. I'm not sure if you saw my thread in the Haring around forum baout my anxiety, but lots of people on here suffer from it. Lots of people, generally, panic. That can be controlled though, try deep breathing, in for 4, hold for 2 and out for 5. Or try carrying a piece of note paper with you and writing down whatever you feel when you panic and then write down why you are panicking and what you could do to make the situation less stressful, or try having a 'safe' object with you to hold and talk to if you panic (a little cuddly toy, or something like that).
Try not to hate yourself, that will send you down into a very dark spiral, and you know you don't want to be there. When you feel yourself starting to hate yourself, try to think about why you hate yourself, and then try to see it from an outsiders view and see whether you would hate someone else for the same thing, then try to step back, and give yourself a break. You may feel you need to be hard on yourself, but you don't.
If you feel yourself slipping, please go to the docs sooner rather than later, the sooner you go and get some help, the sooner you can start to feel better, and can have the happy memories of Pippi back, as opposed to feeling so wretched all the time. Pippi deserves his good memories to live on, but you can't do that whilst you feel so bad. It will take a while to feel better, grief takes a long time, so allow yourself to feel however you do, fele those emotions, and try not to make them harder for you than they already are.
I don't mean rationalise it as you do it, that's not always possible, but afterwards, when you see you could have done something different, then look back at what you did and allow yourself to see that what you did was not as negative as you think, and it happened for less negative reasons.
Lots of people panic. I'm not sure if you saw my thread in the Haring around forum baout my anxiety, but lots of people on here suffer from it. Lots of people, generally, panic. That can be controlled though, try deep breathing, in for 4, hold for 2 and out for 5. Or try carrying a piece of note paper with you and writing down whatever you feel when you panic and then write down why you are panicking and what you could do to make the situation less stressful, or try having a 'safe' object with you to hold and talk to if you panic (a little cuddly toy, or something like that).
Try not to hate yourself, that will send you down into a very dark spiral, and you know you don't want to be there. When you feel yourself starting to hate yourself, try to think about why you hate yourself, and then try to see it from an outsiders view and see whether you would hate someone else for the same thing, then try to step back, and give yourself a break. You may feel you need to be hard on yourself, but you don't.
If you feel yourself slipping, please go to the docs sooner rather than later, the sooner you go and get some help, the sooner you can start to feel better, and can have the happy memories of Pippi back, as opposed to feeling so wretched all the time. Pippi deserves his good memories to live on, but you can't do that whilst you feel so bad. It will take a while to feel better, grief takes a long time, so allow yourself to feel however you do, fele those emotions, and try not to make them harder for you than they already are.
Haley
Well-Known Member
Cheryl, Im so so sorry. Please dont be so hard on yourself though, you did so much for him, more than most people would. Pippi was so lucky to know your love and be so cared for in his final days.
We all break down when things get tough. No one can think clearly when theyre thrown into that sort of situation. Its just heartbreaking and devastating and we do what we can.
We're here for you. We know how much you loved him and how much he meant to you.
*hugs*
Haley
We all break down when things get tough. No one can think clearly when theyre thrown into that sort of situation. Its just heartbreaking and devastating and we do what we can.
We're here for you. We know how much you loved him and how much he meant to you.
*hugs*
Haley
tonyshuman
Well-Known Member
[align=left]RIP sweet Pippi. You showed us how brave a bunny can be. Binky free.
We are here for you Cheryl.
[/align]
We are here for you Cheryl.
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MsBinky
Well-Known Member
{{{{{{Cheryl}}}}}}
It was only two weeks ago that ilost my heartbunny Wiggles. Reading your posts made me cry because it made me relive it and it's awful to know that someone isdealing with that kind of pain. I know what you are feeling, and i know the feeling of despair all too well. I so wish i could just be there and hug you and we could cry over them together.
I'll be honest though, as much as it hurts, you'll be happy to have your lil one cremated. I don't regret it and i very much feel like part of her is still here with me. I too, went for the more expensive urn. There is no price to be put on them when we love them that much.
I only wish I could help soothe your pain, but I know all too well that it takes time. We love you, and we are here for you. :hug::cry1:
It was only two weeks ago that ilost my heartbunny Wiggles. Reading your posts made me cry because it made me relive it and it's awful to know that someone isdealing with that kind of pain. I know what you are feeling, and i know the feeling of despair all too well. I so wish i could just be there and hug you and we could cry over them together.
I'll be honest though, as much as it hurts, you'll be happy to have your lil one cremated. I don't regret it and i very much feel like part of her is still here with me. I too, went for the more expensive urn. There is no price to be put on them when we love them that much.
I only wish I could help soothe your pain, but I know all too well that it takes time. We love you, and we are here for you. :hug::cry1:
cheryl
Well-Known Member
Oh gosh guys,i cannot express my gratitude enough...you are all so wonderful
I need to say though that Tracey's post made me cry because i have just never had anyone who really understands me...my family don't really understand me at all...my boys are maybe the only one's who have ever really understood me...only because they have been there through everything.
I'm one of these people that stress out and worry over situations....and do you know how i handle rough times....i cry and worry...yep that's right..that's what i do.
You know it was my boys that kept me going....but it was my bunnies that were my saviours....they actually taught me something....here's a bunny..a shy little thing,just like myself but i'm terribly shy..yet they are so willing to trust you,they let you get close to them....and here's me..i'm scared to let people close to me again,afraid of getting hurt...like i have beenover and over again by the people that were in my life....i grew to hate myself,as i didn't understand why people can hurt other people.
I'm someone who forgets about herself,just to make sure the next person is happy,i take from myself to give to another.....and i realized much later in life that people just take advantage of that kindness...it's my bunnies that brought something meaningful back into my life....how could a bunny do that?..which is what i keep asking myself.
I have been down that dark place many times before...many times than i would have liked to
I know that each time i have lost a bunny..i break down completely...if only you could all see what goes on behind my pc screen...i'm sure you would all say..'oh my gosh'
So this is why i say my bunnies are my saviours
Pippi's death has hit me so darn hard...even though i knew he wasn't well and i knew EC would take him from me....but i was still so naive about it....always saying 'oh Pippi will still be here tomorrow'....this is why i'm such an idiot because i didn't really face the facts....like i was talking to Crystal on msn and she mentioned it feels like losing a friend.....yes that is exactlywhat it feels like,i feel like my heart has been ripped out thrown on the ground and stomped on....that's how i feel.
When i seen Pippi lying there that morning...i cried like a baby....my son eventually heard me and came out....he knew what was wrong....i didn't have to tell him....i know he worries when i'm like that because all he does is ask if i'm ok.
I have an awesome bond with all my bunnies....but because Pippi had so many problems and he was forever at the vets...we became even more close than anything....i spent so many days and nights comforting him.
I miss everything what we had been through together....that's right what ever Pippi went through,i went through it as well just in another way....there were many a time when i had to leave him at the vets for the day...and i would be home like a anxious mummy,just waiting for the news that Pippi was ok.
He had,had an operation to clean out an abscess,it was healing to well on the outside but he still had all the puss on the inside,and if the hole had closed up with the infection still inside then he would have ended up with worse problems with it,Pippi was so thin and bony and i was terrified for him to be put under because he could have died....but he survived the op.
You know,i really miss taking care of him...i miss syringing him his glucose drink which he had a few times a day....just the simple things...but i miss it all badly.
That boy fought a brave..long.. battle...and i keep going back to what he had been through....he was one heck of a bunny.
You guys are really awesome
Cheryl
I need to say though that Tracey's post made me cry because i have just never had anyone who really understands me...my family don't really understand me at all...my boys are maybe the only one's who have ever really understood me...only because they have been there through everything.
I'm one of these people that stress out and worry over situations....and do you know how i handle rough times....i cry and worry...yep that's right..that's what i do.
You know it was my boys that kept me going....but it was my bunnies that were my saviours....they actually taught me something....here's a bunny..a shy little thing,just like myself but i'm terribly shy..yet they are so willing to trust you,they let you get close to them....and here's me..i'm scared to let people close to me again,afraid of getting hurt...like i have beenover and over again by the people that were in my life....i grew to hate myself,as i didn't understand why people can hurt other people.
I'm someone who forgets about herself,just to make sure the next person is happy,i take from myself to give to another.....and i realized much later in life that people just take advantage of that kindness...it's my bunnies that brought something meaningful back into my life....how could a bunny do that?..which is what i keep asking myself.
I have been down that dark place many times before...many times than i would have liked to
I know that each time i have lost a bunny..i break down completely...if only you could all see what goes on behind my pc screen...i'm sure you would all say..'oh my gosh'
So this is why i say my bunnies are my saviours
Pippi's death has hit me so darn hard...even though i knew he wasn't well and i knew EC would take him from me....but i was still so naive about it....always saying 'oh Pippi will still be here tomorrow'....this is why i'm such an idiot because i didn't really face the facts....like i was talking to Crystal on msn and she mentioned it feels like losing a friend.....yes that is exactlywhat it feels like,i feel like my heart has been ripped out thrown on the ground and stomped on....that's how i feel.
When i seen Pippi lying there that morning...i cried like a baby....my son eventually heard me and came out....he knew what was wrong....i didn't have to tell him....i know he worries when i'm like that because all he does is ask if i'm ok.
I have an awesome bond with all my bunnies....but because Pippi had so many problems and he was forever at the vets...we became even more close than anything....i spent so many days and nights comforting him.
I miss everything what we had been through together....that's right what ever Pippi went through,i went through it as well just in another way....there were many a time when i had to leave him at the vets for the day...and i would be home like a anxious mummy,just waiting for the news that Pippi was ok.
He had,had an operation to clean out an abscess,it was healing to well on the outside but he still had all the puss on the inside,and if the hole had closed up with the infection still inside then he would have ended up with worse problems with it,Pippi was so thin and bony and i was terrified for him to be put under because he could have died....but he survived the op.
You know,i really miss taking care of him...i miss syringing him his glucose drink which he had a few times a day....just the simple things...but i miss it all badly.
That boy fought a brave..long.. battle...and i keep going back to what he had been through....he was one heck of a bunny.
You guys are really awesome
Cheryl
cheryl
Well-Known Member
You know guys....i just don't know what i would do if any of my other bunnies got EC...i would be so devestated to watch another bunny slip away like that...it's awful to have watched my Pippi fade away slowly.....but i do know that i would be there every step of the way though.
This was hard
:bigtears:
This was hard
:bigtears:
Spring
Well-Known Member
Oh Cheryl, you are so caring and wonderful. I wish I could reach out and show you just how amazing you are. You truly are such an amazing person.
:hug1
Thinking of you.
:hug1
Thinking of you.
AngelnSnuffy
Well-Known Member
Cheryl,
Regarding EC, I do not know what I'd do either. If I had to see what you saw, I'd probably not want anymore animals, I wouldn't
. That had to be quite difficult, I would have wanted to just sleep, or die, whatever came first...:?
I feel so bad for you having to deal with this. Darn it all.
I'm here for you, hon.
ink iris:
Remember, I know how it feels. Like total crap. And you want to just throw up...:?
:hug:
Regarding EC, I do not know what I'd do either. If I had to see what you saw, I'd probably not want anymore animals, I wouldn't
. That had to be quite difficult, I would have wanted to just sleep, or die, whatever came first...:?I feel so bad for you having to deal with this. Darn it all
.I'm here for you, hon.
ink iris:Remember, I know how it feels. Like total crap. And you want to just throw up...:?
:hug:
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry.
I can deeply relate to your pain on a close level. Flash was my world, my only ever friend. He was attacked on the 26th Dec, died the 27th dec and was buried the 28th dec, two years ago. I know how much it sucked for me particularly at the holiday season, and then following on from that. I can't ever know your full pain, nor understand, no on can, but I can definite relate on a very close level. Maybe that's why my post touched you, because I 'get' you.
I don't think anyone would be surprised by what goes on behind your PC screen. Only because we only see words, we don't really get to know a person on here unless we make an effort. Everyone appears on here different. I know I sure as hell do, I know others do too. So it wouldn't be surprising because no one knows what goes on behind anyone elses PC screen too. I'm not sure that made sense, but I'm trying to say that everyone is the same in that respect.
I truly think it's a good thing to cry and break down (not like a total full mental break down, I hope you know what I mean) after losing someone you love. That means that you are trying to deal with it, not block it out, which can have really bad effects at a later date.
Bunnies are saviours for many people (not sure if you saw it, but I made a thread on rabbit therapy, and so many people replied about how rabbits have saved/helped them, it's really quite astounding), and they won't stop being your saviours. You might not have a physical Pippi with you, but all he did for you, all his memories, his spark, everything inside him will still be there. He will still be a saviour to you, and so will other buns, if you let them.
I, again, can relate to your fear about coming up against EC. After being on here a few months I came across the exact same thing that killed Flash, and it tore me apart. That bunny came through it alive, and whilst I was glad for that bun, I was gutted because I know I could have saved Flash had I been a member here. If you come across EC, you can only do what you think is best. You may choose to confront it head on (if you do this, make sure you do it for the right reasons), or you might choose to ignore it all totally, and those, and anything else will be ok. You don't have to do a certain thing, or do it in a particular way, just be true to yourself and how you feel.
It's natural to miss caring for him, it was a big part of yoru everyday routine, and it made you and he very close. In time missing it will ease, and you will hopefully start to remember and laugh at the good times. It will take time, but give yourself that time, Don't be afraid to seek help if you need it. Pippi wouldn't want you to fall into your dark place again, he didn't live for that, he lived for you, to give you laughs and fun, and that is how he would want you to remember him, I'm sure.
You know where I am
x
I can deeply relate to your pain on a close level. Flash was my world, my only ever friend. He was attacked on the 26th Dec, died the 27th dec and was buried the 28th dec, two years ago. I know how much it sucked for me particularly at the holiday season, and then following on from that. I can't ever know your full pain, nor understand, no on can, but I can definite relate on a very close level. Maybe that's why my post touched you, because I 'get' you.
I don't think anyone would be surprised by what goes on behind your PC screen. Only because we only see words, we don't really get to know a person on here unless we make an effort. Everyone appears on here different. I know I sure as hell do, I know others do too. So it wouldn't be surprising because no one knows what goes on behind anyone elses PC screen too. I'm not sure that made sense, but I'm trying to say that everyone is the same in that respect.
I truly think it's a good thing to cry and break down (not like a total full mental break down, I hope you know what I mean) after losing someone you love. That means that you are trying to deal with it, not block it out, which can have really bad effects at a later date.
Bunnies are saviours for many people (not sure if you saw it, but I made a thread on rabbit therapy, and so many people replied about how rabbits have saved/helped them, it's really quite astounding), and they won't stop being your saviours. You might not have a physical Pippi with you, but all he did for you, all his memories, his spark, everything inside him will still be there. He will still be a saviour to you, and so will other buns, if you let them.
I, again, can relate to your fear about coming up against EC. After being on here a few months I came across the exact same thing that killed Flash, and it tore me apart. That bunny came through it alive, and whilst I was glad for that bun, I was gutted because I know I could have saved Flash had I been a member here. If you come across EC, you can only do what you think is best. You may choose to confront it head on (if you do this, make sure you do it for the right reasons), or you might choose to ignore it all totally, and those, and anything else will be ok. You don't have to do a certain thing, or do it in a particular way, just be true to yourself and how you feel.
It's natural to miss caring for him, it was a big part of yoru everyday routine, and it made you and he very close. In time missing it will ease, and you will hopefully start to remember and laugh at the good times. It will take time, but give yourself that time, Don't be afraid to seek help if you need it. Pippi wouldn't want you to fall into your dark place again, he didn't live for that, he lived for you, to give you laughs and fun, and that is how he would want you to remember him, I'm sure.
You know where I am
x
JimD
Well-Known Member
i'm so sorry
....binky free little one
ray::rainbow:
....binky free little one
ray::rainbow:
cheryl
Well-Known Member
I just wanted to say thankyou to each and everyone of you :hug:
It's been almost a week already.....and everyday Pippi is there in my mind...i cannot stop thinking what he went through.....but he's at peace now.....but somehow it's not comforting me...because i still have the images of Pippi in my mind.....i know the pain will ease in time though.
I'm still struggling with the whole thing with EC.....and i never want to see that again....in fact i don't want to be posting anything about my bunnies in the infirmary for a long time.
I recieved my Sabrina's house calanders the day after Pippi died.....they were very beautiful pictures but i couldn't bring myself to smile at them.
Tracey.....you really understand my thinking
Forever loving my Pippi
Cheryl
It's been almost a week already.....and everyday Pippi is there in my mind...i cannot stop thinking what he went through.....but he's at peace now.....but somehow it's not comforting me...because i still have the images of Pippi in my mind.....i know the pain will ease in time though.
I'm still struggling with the whole thing with EC.....and i never want to see that again....in fact i don't want to be posting anything about my bunnies in the infirmary for a long time.
I recieved my Sabrina's house calanders the day after Pippi died.....they were very beautiful pictures but i couldn't bring myself to smile at them.
Tracey.....you really understand my thinking
Forever loving my Pippi
Cheryl
cheryl
Well-Known Member
Well this morningit's been a week since Pippi left to head on up to the Rainbow Bridge
I got up this morning and just felt automaticallysad
I also happened to notice Jack....he went into the loungeroom,i didn't think anything unusual until he went to the spot where Pippi had died (i feel sick just writing this)and Jack stood in a weird way...kinda reminded melike a cat and the way they stand when they are curious about something,anyway there was nothing there for him to look at.....or was there.....i'm sure he was looking at Pippi....it was just very odd the way Jack was acting.
I don't even have his ashes back yet,it's been a week....i thought i would have had them back by now.
It's been hard for me....because if he was buried out the back,i could go sit with him and talk to him like i do the other bunnies that are buried out there...but at the moment i have nothing of Pippi......i need Pippi's ashes back so it can somehow comfort me that Pippi is home.
I'm going to call the vet today when they open......it's only 6:30am here at the moment.
But i really need Pippi's ashes back.
I'm missing you Pippi...i'm still missing all those things i had to do for you,i know i should feel comforted that you are in peace now....but i just miss taking care of you,i did it for such a long time.
Oh Pippi...mummy loves you and misses you so bad
I keep looking back at all your pictures when you were a healthy little boy...and just cannot believe what EC had done to your little body.....it's going to haunt me for a very long time....you know how i am Pippi.
But everything you went through...you never let that spirit in you fade away...the only time your spirit died was when you died Pippi
Always thinking about you
Your mummy
ps..give the other bunnies kisses from me as i'm missing them like crazy too.
I got up this morning and just felt automaticallysad
I also happened to notice Jack....he went into the loungeroom,i didn't think anything unusual until he went to the spot where Pippi had died (i feel sick just writing this)and Jack stood in a weird way...kinda reminded melike a cat and the way they stand when they are curious about something,anyway there was nothing there for him to look at.....or was there.....i'm sure he was looking at Pippi....it was just very odd the way Jack was acting.
I don't even have his ashes back yet,it's been a week....i thought i would have had them back by now.
It's been hard for me....because if he was buried out the back,i could go sit with him and talk to him like i do the other bunnies that are buried out there...but at the moment i have nothing of Pippi......i need Pippi's ashes back so it can somehow comfort me that Pippi is home.
I'm going to call the vet today when they open......it's only 6:30am here at the moment.
But i really need Pippi's ashes back.
I'm missing you Pippi...i'm still missing all those things i had to do for you,i know i should feel comforted that you are in peace now....but i just miss taking care of you,i did it for such a long time.
Oh Pippi...mummy loves you and misses you so bad
I keep looking back at all your pictures when you were a healthy little boy...and just cannot believe what EC had done to your little body.....it's going to haunt me for a very long time....you know how i am Pippi.
But everything you went through...you never let that spirit in you fade away...the only time your spirit died was when you died Pippi
Always thinking about you
Your mummy
ps..give the other bunnies kisses from me as i'm missing them like crazy too.
