RIP Beloved Tiny aka "The BunFather"

[Snuggys Mom]

I'm so very sorry, Peg. There are just no words.

He was such a special boy.

:bigtears:

 

[TinysMom]

Miss Bea has moved herself back into the rabbitry on her own (she jumped the gate). I really don't want her there - but it is what she wanted and I need to think of her wishes right now.

Today I'm going to clean up my office - get Tiny's litterboxes, food bowl, water bowl, etc. out of here. Its hard to believe that he isn't going to be here to leave poops around anymore.

I have spoken to two breeders here in Texas. One said she had babies due last night and I can call her in two weeks to see what she has. Another one (Tiny's breeder - who I swore I would never buy from again) - has nothing at this time. Two breeders have recommended another person here in Texas and I've emailed him and may call him in a bit. There is another breeder who doesn't ship who might possibly make an exception but they had babies due last night also - so I'm still looking at 8 weeks waiting as they have nothing at this time.

To be very very honest with you - I've thought about trying to adopt from a shelter. I went on petfinder.com and looked and saw a couple I was interested in (younger flemish) - one was in Louisiana and one was in Florida.

There is a flemish giant doe I fell in love with months ago - but she is at Midwest Rabbit Rescue and she's already spent 3 years as a homeless bunny - which means my time with her would be limited. The only reason I did not try to get her (I talked to Haley about it months ago - back in October) is because I knew her personality would not mesh with Tiny's. You can read about her here:

http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=5594888

Unfortunately - the awesome slide show they had up of her is gone. She is smaller than Tiny was and is a flemish giant mix.

I also don't believe they would adopt to me because I am out of state AND I am a breeder (bad bad Peggy...how could I). Plus we would have to get her shipped to us. Her age scares me a lot - he was 3 and I just lost him....she is 3....how much longer would I have? So I have mixed feelings and am trying to pray about all of this and figure out what is best for us.

Truth be told, Art & I are really leaning towards getting a buck that is 8-10 weeks old. This way, the rabbit will be young enough to bond with us and get litter box trained, etc. etc. Our time with Tiny was so short...we would hate to get another flemish and lose them in a year or so...then again - we would have had that year with them....so its just so tough.

Karen Kingsbury (one of my favorite authors) wrote a book titled A Thousand Tomorrows. In it, a young bull rider falls in love with a gal who needs a lung transplant in order to live. Donating his lung to her - means giving up his career and his life as he knows it. He wants to donate his lung anyway and her mother says to him something along the lines of, "You don't understand. She may only live another three years...you'll still have your life ahead of you..." and he replies, "Three years is a lifetime to me. 8 seconds (on a bull) is what I measure my life by. But three years....that's a thousand tomorrows with her. I want that." (I have VERY LOOSELY put it here because the book has been loaned out).

I say this to say that I had about that with Tiny - a thousand days....actually....1048 days. The pain I'm suffering right now - the grief - is immense. I can't begin to explain the way I'm feeling.

But I'd go through it all over again for the chance at a thousand tomorrows (or more) with another flemish. No - the flemish would NOT be Tiny....no one can ever replace him. But in a way - the Flemish Giant would be Tiny's ... legacy (not really the right word) for me - my family - and I think - the forum.

I keep thinking of Bassetluv who lost Raphael (that was one of the hardest losses for me on this board - I just loved that rabbit so much) - and now - we are all encouraged by Yofi and his antics. We know he isn't Raph....he never could be Raph - and she wouldn't want him to be Raph. But still yet - he helps bring laughter and love to a broken heart - to many broken hearts really.

I shared this with a few people yesterday and I'm going to put it here too. I'm sorta angry at Tiny (not overly angry) - because he hid his illness so dang well. Then - when he died - I honestly believe he tried to hold on until I left the room because when I left he looked ok - just tired - and when I came back - it was obvious he had let go and was not going to make it. Just as he tried to make it to my voice earlier in the day and dragged himself 13 feet to get to me....I believe he tried his hardest to make sure I wasn't there at the end....I think he wanted me to not see him pass.

But so many of the things he did - he did for me......as if he was trying to put me first - as if he was worried at how I'd take things. When GingerSpice died - I think Tiny saw my grief and he didn't want me to go through it again.

So the people who knew him best - and know me best...believe he would want me to have another flemish to help me through the pain. Its just a matter of finding the one that is meant to be.

Anyway - I probably should close this. I can't seem to say what I want to say - I can't seem to find my way to the words I want to write.

I will say that I am so amazed to know that Tiny touched so many lives in his short lifespan. I think he would be so surprised to know that - and yet so pleased.

Peg

 

[TinysMom]

For those who I know are going to ask - this is the rabbit I was most drawn to from the shelter in Florida - but Art says we can't afford a drive to Florida and I have no idea if they would let me adopt...

http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=9639599

Plus we have a dog (although she almost never comes in the office)....and he is afraid of dogs...

Peg

 

[Ivory]

I'm so sorry about Tiny...

 

[TinysMom]

I realized I didn't share about the rabbit from Louisiana...

http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=10024605

It sounds like he's going to be 2 soon or is 2....

Peg

 

[Ivory]

Lol, Peg, check your inbox. I see Zeus on an almost weekly basis.

 

[beccashell]

:bigtearseg,

Me and my daughter have only been here for a little while, but we both loved reading about Tiny. We both send you a big hug, sorry for your loss.

Becca

:bigtears:

 

[Saffy]

Ivory wrote:

Lol, Peg, check your inbox. I see Zeus on an almost weekly basis.

I'm hanging here, in anticipation, for some reason.

 

[TinysMom]

I shouldn't post this here - because I don't want to cause anyone pain if things do not work out.

Then again - I laughed today. I smiled. Art smiled back because he knew he was going to get his wife back...sooner than last time.

I'm going to share this - because I feel like Tiny's loss devastated so many on the forum. I've heard from PMs and IMs and emails how many loved Tiny....and how many are grieving.

Since making the decision we've made - we're still grieving - but we can also smile. We feel like Tiny (and Bo B Bunny) helped to point us in a certain direction.

BUT I want everyone to know that NOTHING is definite....ok?

You have to agree to understand that before I go any further....

[line]
Earlier today we applied to adopt Zeus. At this point in time, we are first in line for him. There are still things that need to be resolved...like we need to get approved for the adoption (we think that will happen) and we need to arrange transportation.

http://search.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=10024605

However - things take time to work out...and if and when there is an annoucement - I'll post it in the main RO forum.....

I will share here what I put at the end of the application...

I would like to add something here and I hope it comes out ok.

My grief at losing Tiny is still so fresh. We had him less than 3 years and if he had not hidden his illness from us so well – we would still have him. He was truly my “heart bunny” and the “love of my life” as far as bunnies go.

When I got Tiny, I read about other bunnies who were so loving and affectionate and I was disappointed in him. He had not been socialized by his breeders and it took us probably a year or so to bond somewhat because I resented that he wasn’t like other rabbits I’d read about. Then I decided to do something … to love him for himself – as he was… even if he never loved me.

Along the way, Tiny grew to love me and I grew to love him more than I knew was possible. I moved my office into “his” bedroom a few months ago and our relationship changed so much. I would walk and he would greet me with kisses at my feet. He spent hours every day laying at my feet and if he moved – he was almost never more than 5’ away from me at most – usually within 3’. When he wanted attention – he came and nudged me. IF he wanted treats.. he got my attention.

As I told friends after I lost him – I spent more time with him than my husband and my daughter – I was closer to him than anyone else.

It has been less than 72 hours since I’ve lost Tiny. My grief is so strong – it comes over me in waves. I know some say it is “too soon” for me to adopt – that I need to wait. But right now- the grief is tearing me up inside – it is tearing at my marriage and my husband says that he would like to get me another flemish for Valentine’s Day because he can’t think of anything that I would cherish more. He is so right.

Our family believes that adding another flemish to our house (which I always planned to do IF Tiny ever passed) – is the right thing to do – and that by adding another flemish now – it won’t take Tiny’s place (Zeus will create a place of his own in our hearts) – but it will help make the journey through our grief much easier.

Last night I looked at petfinder for a long time. I had been determined to get a baby flemish (8-10 weeks old) because I wanted to have a LONG LIFE with it…I didn’t want to risk losing out on time by getting an older one.

The more I thought about it though – the more I realized every day is precious…and every rabbit is precious. I will take however long I can have with the rabbit we adopt ~ no matter how old it is.

I only had a little over 1,000 days with Tiny. I think it would honor his memory if our next flemish giant was a rescue.

Thanks for reading this.

Peg

 

[polly]

:hugeg the only person who knows if and when it is time is you. I will cross my fingers for you.

 

[maherwoman]

What a wonderful bun Zeus is...you can see something special about him in his pictures.

As I always say, I back you 100% no matter how this goes. You are so loving and so wonderful a mama (to both humans and animals), and I know that your heart could certainly use somebun Flemish to dote on...but it you wind up deciding that it's too soon, I can understand that, too.

It's so neat, though how you can feel your heart grow a new part for each bun...and with how many sweet buns you have, your heart is certainly quite large, and so wonderful!

My, does my heart ache for you...you are so special to me, and it aches in your pain, and in my own (which I know doesn't compare) in losing Tiny. It's so hard to read things about him...he was so much a part of my life, too, which sounds so silly when I read it here...but it's so true. I start crying everytime I say Teeny's name...and I hate to say that because it sounds so incredibly selfish when you're going through so much. But I just wanted to let you know that if I'm quiet, it's just because sometimes it's hard to talk about...but know that I am excited for you, and know that I think this is a wonderful step you're taking.

So much love to you, Peg...

Rosie*

 

[JimD]

TinysMom wrote:

BUT I want everyone to know that NOTHING is definite....ok?

You have to agree to understand that before I go any further....

:lalalala:















:biggrin2:

 

[TinysMom]

I just wanted to add that I've moved Miss Bea back into the office with me. I told her that if it didn't work out - I would personally put her back in the rabbitry - but I held her close and explained to her that he loved us both and he wouldn't want to see us grieving separately. I think it helped that I was giving her treats as I was talking.

So she is back in the office and has chinned the litter box and the food bowl and some of her favorite spots.

I'm going to wash Tiny's bed ... but I'll put a couple of his poops on it at first when I put it down for her.....she really LOVED the bed (but it got peed on several times before he seemed to be ill).

Now here's hoping that she and I can help each other through our grief. Fortunately, we both like fruit loops and bananas and we can have our "crying into the ice cream" type of talks by crying together over a bowl of fruit loops...a small one.

Peg

 

[BratBunny]

R.I.P Tiny :cry4:

We all loved you so much. Cross the bridge in happiness.

:rainbow:ink iris:

 

[Bo B Bunny]

I think Zeus is so cute! I am really pulling for this guy for you. It's so right.

 

[JimD]

TinysMom wrote:

Now here's hoping that she and I can help each other through our grief. Fortunately, we both like fruit loops and bananas and we can have our "crying into the ice cream" type of talks by crying together over a bowl of fruit loops...a small one.

Peg

I think I'm going to name my next bunny Froot Loop.

 

[TinysMom]

Jim - I had two that lived side by side.

Their names?

Captain

and

Crunch

:biggrin2:

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

TinysMom wrote:

Jim - I had two that lived side by side.

Their names?

Captain

and

Crunch

:biggrin2:

That is so cute, Peg! Aw. So, when we can't think of names, let's go to cereal, lol.

I really hope this works out for you, Peg. How awesome, I think it really would help you right now, and for a long time to come.

 

[TinysMom]

I should just be good and stay away from this thread....I really should.

I've emailed a handful of close friends some more information about him and his behavior and I'm getting their input because I feel like they can look at this with more logic than I can right now. I have some concerns about Zeus - but I suspect that its just the jitters.

I asked Art what he thought about this - whether we should go with Zeus or a baby and his reply was....

[align=center]I think that we should get Zeus. It somehow feels right.

There is a part of me that agrees - that says "it feels right"...and there is the part of me that says, "NO....It's NOT Tiny....How can I do this?"

So....although we have been approved to adopt him - we are going to take a couple of days to hear from various people that know me - and to pray about it - and then make OUR final decision.

Right now I'm trying to spend time with Miss Bea to get a feel for her preferences...and I'm trying to consider everything. I don't want to rush into this...and I've been told that Magic Happens Rabbit Rescue will hold him while we make our decision.....

Peg

[/align]

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

Sounds good, Peg. It really is best not to feel "rushed" into something like this. I'm still not sure about another and it's been 2 months, well more than that.

I'm thinking of you guys. I hope youdecide what's best soon. Take the time you need.:hug: I know, it's hard.