I don't know what to do...

[ThatsMySimi]

Well, as you guys know, I have 3 bunnies, all of which who are in my room. Simi was a planned addition, and I knew I was getting her so I had time to prepare mentaly and physicaly. My holland lop buck was planned, and I thought I could handle 3 demanding bunnies. Now with school coming up again, and friends/family who have been a real pain, I am stressing out, and I dont know if I can give 3 bunnes the attention they deserve. Simi is my baby and I love her to bits, and my holland lop buck - even though he doesnt havea nameyet - means the world to me, I have alreadybonded so well withhim... Then theres Sisi. Shes moody and agressive, and I KNOW sheneedstobe spayed,and Simi willtoo, but I CAN NOT afford to spay two does, not in any way. I could save, but I am worried Sisi would hate me by the time I was ready to get her spayed... I loveSisi, I really do, but I dont think she deserves what I am giving her.

So to the point, I am thinking of rehoming her with someone who can spay her, and giver her everythingshe needs, because I can't.

I know I am horrible for thinking about this,let alone actualy doing it, but I don't see any other option... I feel bad keeping her like this, shes going through another false pregnancie, and I feel so bad... Please, I feeel horrible, and know I am horrible, and I know you're all going ot bash me, but pleasedo it light.

Signed,
A very sad, stressed out, upset, Shaylee.

 

[TK Bunnies]

Ohhhh that's really sad Shaylee. I'm not going to bash you, but I am going to try to discourage you.

I think that you should spend as mch time as you can with your bunnies. Mabey do homework by them when school starts, or read a book with them. It takes time to bond with a bunny. You should spay Sisi first. This sounds like a bit of her moodyness is because she's still fully intected. We can handle 3 rabbits and the school year, so you can to.

Don't worry take a deep breath and stop looking for a home for Sisi, she already has one.And let me say it's a great one!! :hug2:

-TK

 

[ThatsMySimi]

The thing is,I really CAN NOT afford to spay two does, and Sisi was just brought here because I felt bad for her, but dont get me wrong,I grew to love her within days, but I have a huge bond with Simi, and I can not choose to spay Sisi over Simi. I can only afford to get one spayed... And thats that. I have tried iguring out a way to get the cash to spay both, but I can't.

I really don't want to get ridof her, but if I did, she'd go to a good home.

 

[Bunnicula]

Shay,

Stop beating yourself up! You are not horrible. You are an awesome animal lover who wants what's best for your animals and others.

You really do have two options with Sisi. You could rehome her. If you choose to do that, you will need to be totally up front with the adopter as to why. That person will need to understand her moodiness and be prepared to deal with it.

However, you could also keep Sisi and choose to "look beyond" the things that bother you. Remember that there are many of us with multiple animals who feel like we are unable to give them the attention they deserve...and that is probably true.

I currently have a cat who CANNOT be with the others. She lives in our basement and gets far less human interaction than the others (and she is WAY affectionate). Sometimes I feel badly about this. But then I remember that she is sheltered, fed, watered, and has adequate vet care...andweabsolutelyDO love her. I cannot make her get along with our other cats...her attitude is her choice/nature. And I know that what she has here is better than life on the streets (where she was). There are days I think it would be better to rehome her with someone who will keep her as an only cat and give her the time and attention she deserves. But I also feel responsible for her. I CHOSE to take her in...she has grown accustomed to her life here...and if I give her to someone else (even if I tell them to return her to me if there are ANY problems) I cannot be certain that this new person will keep her as an only cat or that they'd return her to me if any problems...and that would weigh on my mind much more heavily than just adjusting life in our household to accomodate her needs. We also have a cat (1 of our 10) who DOES NOT DO PEOPLE. He does not want to be with me, though he gets on excellently with the other cats. He's easily frightened and almost impossible to get to the vet's office. Administering meds is even more challenging. He sometimes hisses at me...though not aggressive. He gets little human interaction because of his personality. We had him as a foster kitten and kept him precisely because he was fearful of people. I knew that if someone adopted this gorgeous Siamese mix and found him to be a fearful people-disliker he would likely end up back at the shelter...over and over...and possibly end up euthanized... I will never be as "bonded" to him as the others because he chooses not to spend time with me. But I love him. Maybe not in the warm fuzzy emotional way. I love him in that I am committed to him and his well-being. And I am sure he loves me too. He just doesn't show it by being cuddly. He shows it by being happy with the other cats and just enjoying his life here.

Shay, sorry this is a long post. And I shared my cat stories with you not to make you feel guilty or to be "preachy", but to let you know that not every human-animal relationship has to be a close emotional bond. Sometimes love is an act of sacrifice that doesn't "feel" returned. We cannot change animal personalities. We cannot place our human expectations for returned affection on them. But we CAN love them simply by meeting their physical needs. Perhaps one day my kitties (and your Sisi) will become affectionate (it's happened with our oldest bun ), but even if not...not having that relationship does not mean you or I don't care or love them.

I hope you find the solution that is right for you. Whatever you choose, I know you will put the animal's needs ahead of your own. Don't make your decision on impulse. Take your time. Think it through. And rest assured you are NOT a horrible person!

Thinking of you,

Mary Ellen

 

[TK Bunnies]

Hmmmmm....

What you need to do is get Sisi spay ASAP!!! You can wait to get Simi spayed.

Sisi may just be acting up because she's young to. Teacup was aggerisive when she was little. What you need to do is go get a bunch of your rabbits fav. treats and sit down bySimi, Sisi, andZarek (yes that should behis name)and think it over.

You are NOT horrible!!! Your rabbits are happy, and healthy!! It's fine. Your just stressed out.

Don't give them away. It'll be fine.:hug1

-TK

 

[Bunnicula]

ThatsMySimi wrote:

The thing is,I really CAN NOT afford to spay two does, and Sisi was just brought here because I felt bad for her, but dont get me wrong,I grew to love her within days, but I have a huge bond with Simi, and I can not choose to spay Sisi over Simi. I can only afford to get one spayed... And thats that. I have tried iguring out a way to get the cash to spay both, but I can't.

I really don't want to get ridof her, but if I did, she'd go to a good home.

So....start by spaying Simi...then begin saving for Sisi's spay. Or maybe your vet will allow you to pay in installments. It's worth investigating.

 

[TK Bunnies]

Shaylee, Mary Ellen is totaly right!!!! You really love Sisi. your just deprest. Away to make the sad feeling go away is get a big of your favorit food, it might be ice cream, fudge, chicken and eat it while watching a funny, not sad movie. Then go spent a lot of time with your rabbits. It really works!!

Anyway It'll be fine.

And stop calling your self horrible. YOU ARE NOT HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-TK

 

[TK Bunnies]

Bunnicula wrote:

ThatsMySimi wrote:

The thing is,I really CAN NOT afford to spay two does, and Sisi was just brought here because I felt bad for her, but dont get me wrong,I grew to love her within days, but I have a huge bond with Simi, and I can not choose to spay Sisi over Simi. I can only afford to get one spayed... And thats that. I have tried iguring out a way to get the cash to spay both, but I can't.

I really don't want to get ridof her, but if I did, she'd go to a good home.

So....start by spaying Simi...then begin saving for Sisi's spay. Or maybe your vet will allow you to pay in installments. It's worth investigating.

I totaly agree, that's the best thing you could do.

 

[ThatsMySimi]

I Know I need her spayed, BUT I CAN NOT DO IT RIGHT NOW. I got Simi because I could wait a while before she needed to be spayed...

I have been thinking of rehoming one of my bunnies for a while, and I just can't handle 3. I know, if I can't handle three I shouldn't have gotten the new one (who I think is going ot be named Ash short for Acheron) but I did. And now everything is screwed up.

The only thing wrong is that Sisi doesn't like me. And she doesn't like Simi. So, I can't giver her attention, and because I can't bond her, I can't let Simi keep her company.

There fore leaving her with nothing. I just feel like she should go to someone who can care for her, and have her spayed....

 

[TK Bunnies]

You can wait to get them both spayed. It won't kill them. My Kali just got spayed and she's 4 years old!! You just need to spend time with them. Kali sounds a lot like Sisi. Kali is agressive and territorial, but we've been spending lots of time by her and giving her, her fav treats. She trust us now. You don't need to cuddle her just get her to trust you.

I know you love Sisi. Don't give up!!!! If you give in all the time you will never acomplish anything.

-TK :tears2:

 

[ThatsMySimi]

I can wait to get them both spayed, but its gonna be a LOOOOONNNNNNNNNNGGG wait.

I don't even have a vet right now because our retired and moved to Africa...

Its not just that Sisi isn't friendly, its that I dont have time for 3 bunnies... And I feel so bad about it. I think that Sisi deserves someone better than me. Someone who can giver her the space and love and play time she needs...... My sister has a friend who has a rabbit, and she takes very good care of it, so if I am going to get rid of her, I will ask her if she wants Sisi, and tell her about all that has made me get rid of her.....

I dont know, I am going to take some time to think about it, and sepnd sometime with Sisi and all the buns...

 

[TK Bunnies]

ThatsMySimi wrote:

I can wait to get them both spayed, but its gonna be a LOOOOONNNNNNNNNNGGG wait.

I don't even have a vet right now because our retired and moved to Africa...

Its not just that Sisi isn't friendly, its that I dont have time for 3 bunnies... And I feel so bad about it. I think that Sisi deserves someone better than me. Someone who can giver her the space and love and play time she needs...... My sister has a friend who has a rabbit, and she takes very good care of it, so if I am going to get rid of her, I will ask her if she wants Sisi, and tell her about all that has made me get rid of her.....

I dont know, I am going to take some time to think about it, and sepnd sometime with Sisi and all the buns...

Think about. I sounds like the person who would take Sisi is a good rabbit person. I don't know. I'm still for keeping Sisi, but i guess that the other home might be good for her. Mabey rabbit prof more of your house to let her roam around.

-TK

 

[polly]

I think some of Sisi's problem is moody teenager and some is the no trust issue, i have had bunnies that have been like that and with time they do get better, When i just had pet bunnies they had good sized hutches 2 would come out one night and then the other2 the next this way they all got a shot.

I still do this now and i have 20 at the mo!! 2 i am meant to be bonding for someone.

I guess what i am saying is if you love Sisi and want to try with her it doesn't take much like was said before sit beside her cage while you are doing something and don't pay her much attentin rabbits are naturally curious so sh ewill come to you.

If on the other hand you (and i don't mean this badly) don't like her attitude/ nature whatever then it would be kindest to find her a new home. No one will judge you on this you know in your heart what to do for the best for you, Sisi, and your other bunnies. I would be the first to hold my hands up and say i have certain favourites (i do love them all) but some are very special to me because of who they are as a personality.

Don't stress yourself out it is not easy, have you maybe thought of getting your buck neutered then seeing if he gets on with both your girls separately?? I did this when i had 3 buns and it worked really well.

I would also speak to your vets about installments there is no point spending it all out in one go and ending up stressed about that too.

 

[Haley]

I dont remember Sisi's back story, but if you got her from a breeder you should contact him/her and see if they would take her back.

You keep saying she deserves better, someone with time, patience, and knowledge to work with her. If you know of someone like this then, by all means, rehome her.

The thing is, those perfect wonderful bunny homes arent the majority of homes for a bunny. Most (especially one who's unspayed with aggression issues) will end up sitting alone in a cage outdoors or in a garage with little to no human contact. Sadly, thats the life for most bunnies, especially one who's not people friendly.

So I'd say that if you know of someone who cold give her a great home, give it a try. But if not, shes better off with you.

Cant you babysit or do yard/housework to save up some money for her spay?I think that wouldreally hep things. Im also worried with you having all these unaltered bunnies right now. Accidental pregnancies seems like a reoccuring theme around here lately

 

[ThatsMySimi]

Haley wrote:

I dont remember Sisi's back story, but if you got her from a breeder you should contact him/her and see if they would take her back.
I didn't get her from a breeder, she came from a lady who got her from her first owner because she didn't have time for her 2 buns anymore.
You keep saying she deserves better, someone with time, patience, and knowledge to work with her. If you know of someone like this then, by all means, rehome her.

The thing is, those perfect wonderful bunny homes arent the majority of homes for a bunny. Most (especially one who's unspayed with aggression issues) will end up sitting alone in a cage outdoors or in a garage with little to no human contact. Sadly, thats the life for most bunnies, especially one who's not people friendly.
But the thing is, I'd like to send her to someone who can have her spayed.
So I'd say that if you know of someone who cold give her a great home, give it a try. But if not, shes better off with you.

Cant you babysit or do yard/housework to save up some money for her spay?I think that wouldreally hep things. Im also worried with you having all these unaltered bunnies right now. Accidental pregnancies seems like a reoccuring theme around here lately

I am sick - a lot. I get flus all the time, and I get depressed very often,I have bad wrists, and I have a "friend" who has been telling all of the paretns around me that I do all this stuff I dont,so I have one person I babysitt for right now, and she doesn't go out very often. I can see why you are worried, but my mother knows about bunnies, and she isn't about to make me cage them together, or let them loose together.... My does have no contact with my buck ever... And they wont until I can afford to have them spayed.

I don't know what to do. My mom says to get rid of her and focas on my two other bunnies, and find her a place where she will be an only rabbit... But I don't know... I am stressing out so bad.... I just wish I had the money to take Simi and Sisi both to get spayed, but with school coming up, I need all of my chas for supplies and clothes....

As for the bunny proofing more area, I cant do that, I have 2 great danes and 5 mini aussies, I can't just let my bunniesroam around...

I don't know what to do... This has really got me upset, andI want to keep Sisi, and my heart is telling me to, but the not so selfish part of me is saying that she could be somewhere where she would have more attention, and she'd be better off.



*Sigh* I hate this.

 

[TinysMom]

Wow....what a struggle you're going through. I can hear your pain and frustration in your posts and I've been trying to think of what to say.

First of all - no bashing coming from me. I hope that what I say will come across nicely as I'm almost in tears here as I think about how you are feeling.

I have mixed feelings about you rehoming Sisi. Part of me is screaming, "no no no....don't make her go through yet one more change..." as I've seen rabbits come here (does) and they're confused about why they had to move and they become cage aggressive because that is the only thing that they know is "theirs". My heart just goes out to them because of how confused they are and how they just don't understand things. I'm worried about Sisi having to move to another place one more time.

I'm going to share some thoughts here and they aren't meant to judge you or say "you have to do this"....they're just things I've observed and basically things for you to think about.

If I remember right - you had hoped to bond Sisi to Simi....right? Well - what happens if they don't bond ....can't they each just live alone? If Sisi doesn't want to come out of her cage - perhaps you can make her a larger cage - or a cage with an exercise pen around it (maybe with NIC cubes). If need be, maybe you could stack their cages so that Sisi's is on the bottom with a play area around it and then Simi's cage is on top because she comes out to play more.

I have several does in my rabbitry that prefer their cages and their toys and they don't want to come out and play. They're just happy in their cage....and they feel safe and secure there. I'll reach in and pet them and stuff but that is all that they want. They don't want to come out and play. They love their food and water but they just aren't "people bunnies". Many of these are from other breeders who didn't socialize them when they were young.

So one option is really just to let her have her cage and be happy in it and not bond her to Simi....I don't think that would be so hard to do.

I think you're stressing right now over the whole "getting them spayed" thing - which I'm not saying isn't important. I agree with everyone who says that you should get them spayed. But it isn't like you have to do that this week or this month. Start saving now. Even though it might be hard to do so - ask for CASH for your birthday and for Christmas gifts and stuff and save for their spays. So you don't have a vet now....you might find one in a couple of months. You can start saving anyway so that when you find a vet...you have the funds to get the rabbit spayed. Have you considered bringing your rabbit into the states to have her spayed? I'm not sure how far you are from Presque Isle, Houlton or Caribou (or Fort Fairfield?).....but I'm betting there are vets there that do spays.

As far as rehoming Sisi - the only way I would do so - is if she seemed to make a "connection" with the person you mentioned who has rabbits. I'd have the person visit Sisi and see how they interact. Sometimes it is a matter of personality difference between the rabbit and its owner.

I know you are discouraged right now - I can hear that in your message(s). Just remember this - bonding isn't for EVERY rabbit. Some of them seem to like living alone (at least some of mine do). Also - bonding can take MONTHS...not just days. Yes - we see stories on here sometimes of rabbits that seem to bond right away...but that is rare. I think Naturestee has worked on bonding Oberon for months maybe? I haven't read the blog lately - but I don't think that the bonding has taken place yet...

Something I've had to do with one of my rabbits (Minnie Pearl) is to put aside my desire for a loving relationship with her - and just love her on her terms. So all she wants is food? I can give her that. I can talk to her when I go to her cage. I am still trying to get her to accept pets (its been over a year now and at least she doesn't attack my hand anymore). But our relationship is on her terms......which means I mainly leave her alone. I show her love - the way she will accept it - which is by respecting her space.

I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers as you work through this and I'll try to keep an eye on this thread in case you have any questions or comments.

I wish I could be of more help. I just happen to think that Sisi is probably better off being with you - even if means waiting for a spay - or not getting out of her cage much....than being with someone else who won't understand her and love her.

Peg

 

[TK Bunnies]

Well if your heart is telling you to keep her. I'd keep her. It's not selfish to want to keep a pet you love.

I don't know if she would be better off personally. Frankly you seem like one of the best rabbit parents I've every heard about off this fourm. It's not bad to want to take care of your rabbits and be with them always.

You don't have to get them spayed right away. Wait till after school starts. I think that Sisi needs to see you and understand that you are her freind. If you give Sisi "attention" it might scare her. Let her come to you and she'll start trusting you with out you trying to cuddle her.et: I think that you are pushing her to think of you as a freind. Don't push her. When she's ready she'll start to bond with you.

Just give her time. She's fine. Your just really strested out.

And about that "friend" just ignor her. You have friends right here that will help you out, and won't spred rumors. :groupparty:

Your not alone and your not horrible,

-TK

 

[ThatsMySimi]

Thanks Peg and TK, I am in tears here, because what I WANT to do is keep her.

I am thinking now, I will contact the girl who has a rabbit, tell her I am having some troubles with Sisi, and that someday down the road I may need a home for her.

But, I just went, took a nice long shower, and thought about things... And I want to keep Sisi and keep trying... As long as i can keep her happy now, and wait until April next year, I SHOULD have the money to take Simi and Sisi in to be spayed.I have talked to my mom, and she said that I can get a baby gate, or half door to amke sure my bunnies stay in my room... I am going ot give Sisi more time... I have only had her a little while, and she needs more time to trust me... I am going to go with my heart here.... And I am because Sisi seems happy... She shows me that shes happy, and its my being paranoid that shes not happy... All the signs point ot her being happy...

My sister said that she'd take her (my sister lives in the room beside me) and even though she doesn't know much about keeping rabbits as house pets I will teach her if I have to give Sisi to her... I am in the middle of making new cages for my babies, and looking for carpet to set down on my floor for them....

I am sorry to go on and on about this, butI was really stressing over what I should do... So, I am going to give her another chance....

Thank you so much everyone for helping to show me that doing what my heart is telling me is the right thing....

I do love my bunnies....

 

[TK Bunnies]

[align=center]arty0002:arty0002::hug:arty0002:arty0002:[/align]
[align=center]YAY[/align]
[align=center]I'm so glad you chose to keep her!! Think it over, but I think that Sisi is living at her forever home right now. I totaly under stand why your strest out. [/align]
[align=center][/align]
[align=center]YAY FOR SISI & SHAYLEE!!!!!![/align]
[align=center]arty:[/align]
[align=left]-TK[/align]

 

[ThatsMySimi]

Thanks... I am glad I chose to keep her, but I am still gonna need help from the forum members, and I am posivtive that I wont ben goingo ut again or buying anything extra anytime soon....

Peg, do you have any clue how much it would cost me to get them spayed over in houltn or bangor?