Dear Jacques,
I can barely sit at my computer desk wtihout thinking about you stilland crying. When you died earlier this week - I felt like myheart was broken. I kept asking "WHY?"....and never heard ananswer in the silence.
You were always so tiny - I was never sure if you were a peanut or arunt. Off and on you'd give me scares - and then about thetime you turned a month old - you'd sneak out of your cage and out ofthe bunny room to my desk and sit at my feet. I'd pick you upand give you a treat - maybe a piece of oatmeal or a tiny bit ofpedialyte or a touch of critical care. Something to help youput on a bit of weight... I still remember the time I didn'tpick you up soon enough and you BIT my foot. I went "ouch"and you scampered about 3" away and then waited for me to pick you up.
I can still picture you washing your face as I'd pick you up.I think you wanted to look good for me - and I'd tease you how I'd loveyou no matter how you looked. As soon as your face was clean- you'd start licking your lips in anticipation of whatever you'dget. You sure were mad at me the time I told you it was "toosoon" and that you had to wait. I put you down and youflicked me off as you scampered away....but sure enough - 2 hours laterthere you were...you knew you could have something "extra" again.
It was so cute how you'd sneak into Beatrice's cage and nap with her -all curled up beside her head. I've never seen a French Lopso affectionate as she was with you...sometimes I think she thought youwere her baby.
I wish I'd known that you were going to die during the night - I'd havesat up and held you. But no.....you made me think all wasgoing well...you played and you scampered around - and when I put youin the playpen (where you couldn't get out) so you wouldn't get steppedon as people put the dog or cat out....you acted like it was justanother night and you'd see me again in the morning. Iremember telling you, 'I love you baby....see you soon."
I'm sorry you died baby. We really thought you had pulledthrough and that while you might always be small like apeanut....you'd make it. We thought you'd beat theodds. Why didn't you let me know you were going?I'd have stayed up all night to hold you in my arms so you wouldn't bewithout me.
I miss you. Give Buck lots of kisses. Make sure youwash your face when he picks you up and show him how you'd lick yourlips and flirt.
Beatrice misses you too honey. Your sister Calypso goes inand snuggles with her sometimes - but I know she knows that it isn'tyou. She wouldn't play that first day after you leftus....she just laid down - I think she knew you were gone.
Oh baby - I can't say anymore. I'm in tears. But know that mommy will ALWAYS love you.
Jacques,(far left), Calypso (middle) and Jacque's other sister (as yet unnamed) on right
To Jacques - born November 28, 2005 - died January 12, 2006 - your timewas too too short - but the light of your personality shines on in ourhearts. We miss you.
Mommy