TinysMom
Well-Known Member
Please read the words in blue at the bottom before responding with words of comfort..
4:00 am CST
Less than 20 minutes ago, my beloved GingerSpice passed away in my arms. She was wrapped in one of "her" towels that had come out of the dryer and we had been snoozing together for a while. I've seen this day coming - because GingerSpice had a stroke a few months ago and over the last few days, I've seen her become progressively worse. Around 9 pm last night, I realized that it was time to let her go. I didn't want to do so - I wanted to fight for her life - to get her through one more bout so I could have her with me. But I saw in her eyes that she was tired. She was ready to go - she wanted me to let her go.
After talking online to a fellow breeder between midngiht and 1:30 am, I realized that it was time to let her go. Her body was shutting down. The signs were there...her ears were getting cooler...she didn't want to eat or drink.
They say that you know when it is time to let an animal pass if you look at three things: appetite, alertness, and affection. She had neither appetite nor alertness - and she didn't have the energy to be affectionate.
But I get ahead of myself - let me share wtih you about her life - and her death. It was like something I've never experienced.
So let me start with how Gingerspice came to be with us. As many of you know, I rescued a rabbit from the road and we had it with us for almost a week before the owners were found. I had been suffering from depression (I've had it for years) and during the time we had the rabbit, Art said he'd never heard me laugh so much, be so happy or be so "alive". When the rabbit was returned...I went looking for another rabbit.
I wanted a big rabbit because we had cats and a dog....so after doing research, I realized I wanted a flemish giant. You know how on this forum we say you can't get just one?
Here is what I brought home the day I went for the flemish giant...
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies10<WBR>6.jpg] [/url]
Actually - I brought home TWO dwarves..
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies04<WBR>2.jpg] [/url]
Well - life was grand. I started getting books on bunnies and magazines on bunnies - and I read about this new breed called "lionheads". Wow...they sounded fascinating. So I went online and did some research on them - and found a breeder 150 miles away. To my luck - she had two mismarked rabbits that were pet quality - a boy and a girl. I couldn't decide...so I got both. GingerSpice - a tortoise - was the shy one. Here are some photos that I just love:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/72574fa3<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies13<WBR>2.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies13<WBR>0.jpg] [/url]
We later on wound up adding Puck, a Holland Lop - and life was grand....
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/02b28306<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunniesMa<WBR>y2005022.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunniesMa<WBR>y2005005.jpg] [/url]
But Tiny had developed a favorite rabbit- and GingerSpice became his "baby girl". Puck would want to chase her and play - Tiny would chase Puck away when she ran to him. This is how Tiny got the name "BunFather" because he would protect anyone who ran to him to be protected from another rabbit.
Shortly afterwards, we decided to breed lionheads - I was so in love with them. One of the rabbits I got was Miss Bea - a harlequin lionhead. Well - Ginger and Miss Bea were quite a pair. I swear - Miss Bea would come up to Ginger with an idea:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/80a77ef7<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
Then she would go tell Summer - another doe we had:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/8132e6cb<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
Then Miss Bea would sit back and look on as Ginger and Summer would get into trouble and wind up getting caged (and missing out on playtime) while Miss appeared to be innocent.
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/ee7d1526<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
If I have one regret of Ginger's short life - it is that I bred her to Roary. Here he is:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/913a062c<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
I NEVER should have done that. It seemed like after that - she just had problems off and on that she'd never had before. It was almost like her immunity system started breaking down or something - right about the time she was starting to wean the litter.
This is why I will NEVER recommend someone breed a pet rabbit- because while most of the time - nothing goes wrong....things still CAN go wrong.
For a while, she was mainly a free roaming house rabbit. She and Tiny were best friends - well - except for Miss Bea. There would be times he'd snooze with Miss Bea and then come back later and lay down near Ginger and you could see her grooming him a bit harder than necessary and lecturing him about "that loose bunny" he was associating with. But he was the BunFather...while she was the woman of his choice...he was not going to leave the other gals alone...
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/TinysEyea<WBR>ndGinger004.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/TinysEyea<WBR>ndGinger002.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/TinyandMi<WBR>ssBea001.jpg] [/url]
Last fall, she started having major problems with bloat. We tried and tried and tried to work with her and help her fight through it. We'd just help her get through a bout (thanks to advice from Pam Nock who I'd frequently go to for help).....and she'd be better for a day or two - and then she'd be sick again.
The upside to this - was before she'd always been shy and hated me. She still hated me - but now she was learning to tolerate me - she was seeing that I LOVED her and would help her find relief. But she resented everything I did for her - and she made sure that EVERY TIME I helped her - she would pee on me. I'd hand her to Robin...no pee. If I got near her - she'd pee even if she had to squirt it like a fountain because I wasn't holding her.
She was quite a rabbit.
Sometime in October - she had a stroke. I worked with her and gave her massages and tried to help her. She could barely stand - although she would try if I pushed her. The benefit of my help? More chances to pee on me of course...
But she stopped rolling her eyes at me. She stopped seeing me as the enemy. She started understanding - I loved her. Dearly. She and I formed a special bond during this time - and we became close.
Oh - she still peed on me - it had become like a game. Art would hold her and sing, "Oh please, oh please.....don't pee on me...oh please, oh please....don't pee on me." Then he'd hand her to me - and you've got it. She peed.
During this time- GingerSpice went from becoming a rabbit - to becoming my child. She might have had a disability - but she was stronger in her disabilty than she ever was in her strengths. She showed me her love - because we'd finally learned to accept each other.
I bought her enough towels so she could have a fresh towel every day of the week...plus an extra. I'd put her in her box - so that she had to sit and use her muscles - and I'd come back to find her like this:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/Gingers<WBR>%20Recliner/November12005Ginger<WBR>sRecliner004.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/Gingers<WBR>%20Recliner/November12005Ginger<WBR>sRecliner001.jpg] [/url]
We called it "Ginger's Recliner".
During November, I took the NaNoWriMo challenge (National Novel Writing Month) and wrote a novel - well - most of it. The challenge was to complete 50,000 words - I went over 60,000. But Ginger spent that month on my desk.....as I wrote I'd talk to her. Every few paragraphs - she'd get some food or hay or a drink. We'd "talk" to each other about the story....I knew it was in my mind...but she had sort of a girlish voice and would start out the day with, "Ok mom...today we need to do this on the book..." and go off talking. Yes -they were my thoughts. I'd talk to her just as if she said those things...and she'd wink at me.
These are the moments I will cherish and tresure.
Sometime in the last couple of weeks, I've seen her go downhill. I've shared with other mods about what was happening and we'd discuss it. The other day I thought I was going to lose her after a bad bout of diaherrea....but she came through. Looking back, I think she came back to give me time to let her go...to be prepared for her passing. But I think...she wanted to go - and she was ready to go. She just needed me to be ready.
Yesterday, Art said to me something along the lines of how I would handle it if Ginger ever got healthy. My response was, "I want that more than anything....I want her healthy and not suffering." As a Christian, I believe God was using Art to prepare me to let her go.
Shortly before I went to bed, I pm'd Pipp and told her Ginger would be crossing the bridge tonight. As I was completing my chores, I put on of her towels in the dryer to get it warm. I used to do this when we were going to nap together....get her in a warm towel and then snooze with her in my arms. When it came down to pull the towel out of the dryer - I broke down and cried. I offered her water and food - she took a bit of pedialyte but just wanted to sleep. Then I wrapped her in the towel - and she smiled at me and winked. I think she knew she was going - and that I would be ok.
It was almost 2 am...and I laid down and put my arms around her. I kissed her on the nose and I prayed over her. I asked God to let her live if it was His will - otherwise - to let her passing be painfree and not traumatic for either of us.
I've been debating back and forth as I write this - do I write this last part? Do I share what happened - how peaceful it was - how God prepared me for it? Will it offend some? Will it comfort those who have loved and lost? What do I do? I've never really experienced death - well - I have in some animals who fought death due to some things. It was grusome and it was hard and it was...horrible. I didn't want that for her.
I knew she would most likely pass in her sleep - quietly and peacefully - and that is what she did.
So I'm going to share what happened - but I want to say this first. As a Christian, I believe God can use dreams to comfort us and help us. I believe that many times they may be "messages" and that while what is said may not be a fact indeed (imagine a dancing cookie that talked..yet we've never experienced that)...the message they are meant to give us is that of comfort.
So here is what I shared with Pipp when Ginger passed...
I will share wtih you what happened here - it is going in her tribute - near the end.
I've never seen such a passing before. She and I curled up and slept together. Somehow, in my heart of hearts, I think I knew she would be gone by 4 am.
I had finally settled down and was sleeping deeply when I had this dream. Ginger was laying in her recliner and just chatting away with me in a little girl sing-songy voice....about how the rabbits in the rabbitry think this...and that and the other thing. She was telling me her thoughts on Tiny and Miss Bea and how she was glad he still had girls to comfort him. This went on for a few minutes when I realized (I'd had my back to her) that this wasn't just going on in my mind - Ginger was actually TALKING...
I looked at her and said, "Wait....we have to show this to daddy..." and I grabbed her little basket and took her out to Art. Meanwhile, she's just chattering away quietly to herself....and Art is distracted on the computer or something and I'm like, "Art you have to hear this....Ginger is self-aware and talking!"
Finally - her chattering has him turn around. She looks at him and she looks at me and goes, "Of COURSE I'm self-aware mom. I'm a BUNNY! Dad knew that all along...didn't you?"
Then she gave us her wink she sometimes gave...
... and I woke up.
I said her name and she halfway opened an eye and winked at me a bit and I said, "Momma will be right back....I love you." and I ran to the bathroom.
I was back less than 90 seconds later and as I wrapped my arms around her, I realized that while she was breathing slowly - she was gone. What had woken me up - was when she peed and pooped in the towel....as part of dying.
I laid there and kissed her on the nose and said, "you little twerp....you peed on me once again.." and I cried.
And I swear Pipp - in the back of my mind - I heard her say - in a sing-songy voice..."But of course I did mommy. I won!"
And she was gone...
I honestly believe that dream was given to me to comfort me. When I kissed her on the nose before running to the bathroom - she opened her eye and looked at me one more time. When I came back - as I wrapped my arms around here, even though she had a couple of breaths...I knew she was gone - the essence of Ginger had passed.
~~~
[color=<WBR>"blue"]Please read this part before trying to comment and comfort me?
Many times I read about a rabbit passing and I read what we say and it feels "empty" to me. I especially feel this way now.
I love the whole Rainbow Bridge thing - but I can not be *sure* that it is true. So please- don't tell me I'll see her again. I can't be 100% sure of that (with my personal beliefs). Don't tell me not to grieve - I lost the bunny of my heart. As I whispered to her before I fell asleep, "Don't tell Tiny, but over the last few months, you've become my #1 bunny and I'll always be Ginger's Mom too". I have to grieve in order to keep on making it through this and moving on. Grief is a part of life. Don't tell me she's not in pain. I know she's not in pain. But now I'm in pain. She is at peace - but I pay the price.
So if you want to comfort me - tell me how much you loved Tiny's blogs if you followed them and knew about her....or tell me how cute you think she was...or how she was quite a trooper - to pee on me even at the end. Help me celebrate her life...and remember her love. If need be - if you've been thinking about breeding a pet and decided not to because of Ginger's story - tell me that. If her story stops one rabbit from being breed needlessly by someone who's been thinking, "oh...I'll claim it was an 'accidental breeding'...so I can have babies.."...then maybe...just maybe...I can find a purpose for this pain and a way to alleviate it.
Light a candle for her - or for me.
If worse comes to worse - just tell me, "I hurt for you because I know you're hurting".
But I can't be assured she's going to Buck's arms...I can't be assured I'll see her again...so those things dont' comfort me.
However - knowing she touched the lives of those in the forum...knowing she touched my life and made me a more patient person because she needed care about 1-2 hours per day....helps me to see the impact she had on my life. If she impated your life - if her story somehow touched you...helped you deal with grief from a rabbit you've lost......let me know that.
And so - I'm going to close this with the words I'm always going to think of whenever I look at Ginger's pictures....because in some way - they do comfort me..
[/color]
Of course I'm self aware mommy - I'm a BUNNY!
and
I won!!!
Peg
4:00 am CST
Less than 20 minutes ago, my beloved GingerSpice passed away in my arms. She was wrapped in one of "her" towels that had come out of the dryer and we had been snoozing together for a while. I've seen this day coming - because GingerSpice had a stroke a few months ago and over the last few days, I've seen her become progressively worse. Around 9 pm last night, I realized that it was time to let her go. I didn't want to do so - I wanted to fight for her life - to get her through one more bout so I could have her with me. But I saw in her eyes that she was tired. She was ready to go - she wanted me to let her go.
After talking online to a fellow breeder between midngiht and 1:30 am, I realized that it was time to let her go. Her body was shutting down. The signs were there...her ears were getting cooler...she didn't want to eat or drink.
They say that you know when it is time to let an animal pass if you look at three things: appetite, alertness, and affection. She had neither appetite nor alertness - and she didn't have the energy to be affectionate.
But I get ahead of myself - let me share wtih you about her life - and her death. It was like something I've never experienced.
So let me start with how Gingerspice came to be with us. As many of you know, I rescued a rabbit from the road and we had it with us for almost a week before the owners were found. I had been suffering from depression (I've had it for years) and during the time we had the rabbit, Art said he'd never heard me laugh so much, be so happy or be so "alive". When the rabbit was returned...I went looking for another rabbit.
I wanted a big rabbit because we had cats and a dog....so after doing research, I realized I wanted a flemish giant. You know how on this forum we say you can't get just one?
Here is what I brought home the day I went for the flemish giant...
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies10<WBR>6.jpg] [/url]
Actually - I brought home TWO dwarves..
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies04<WBR>2.jpg] [/url]
Well - life was grand. I started getting books on bunnies and magazines on bunnies - and I read about this new breed called "lionheads". Wow...they sounded fascinating. So I went online and did some research on them - and found a breeder 150 miles away. To my luck - she had two mismarked rabbits that were pet quality - a boy and a girl. I couldn't decide...so I got both. GingerSpice - a tortoise - was the shy one. Here are some photos that I just love:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/72574fa3<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies13<WBR>2.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunnies13<WBR>0.jpg] [/url]
We later on wound up adding Puck, a Holland Lop - and life was grand....
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/02b28306<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunniesMa<WBR>y2005022.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/bunniesMa<WBR>y2005005.jpg] [/url]
But Tiny had developed a favorite rabbit- and GingerSpice became his "baby girl". Puck would want to chase her and play - Tiny would chase Puck away when she ran to him. This is how Tiny got the name "BunFather" because he would protect anyone who ran to him to be protected from another rabbit.
Shortly afterwards, we decided to breed lionheads - I was so in love with them. One of the rabbits I got was Miss Bea - a harlequin lionhead. Well - Ginger and Miss Bea were quite a pair. I swear - Miss Bea would come up to Ginger with an idea:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/80a77ef7<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
Then she would go tell Summer - another doe we had:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/8132e6cb<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
Then Miss Bea would sit back and look on as Ginger and Summer would get into trouble and wind up getting caged (and missing out on playtime) while Miss appeared to be innocent.
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/ee7d1526<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
If I have one regret of Ginger's short life - it is that I bred her to Roary. Here he is:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/913a062c<WBR>.jpg] [/url]
I NEVER should have done that. It seemed like after that - she just had problems off and on that she'd never had before. It was almost like her immunity system started breaking down or something - right about the time she was starting to wean the litter.
This is why I will NEVER recommend someone breed a pet rabbit- because while most of the time - nothing goes wrong....things still CAN go wrong.
For a while, she was mainly a free roaming house rabbit. She and Tiny were best friends - well - except for Miss Bea. There would be times he'd snooze with Miss Bea and then come back later and lay down near Ginger and you could see her grooming him a bit harder than necessary and lecturing him about "that loose bunny" he was associating with. But he was the BunFather...while she was the woman of his choice...he was not going to leave the other gals alone...
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/TinysEyea<WBR>ndGinger004.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/TinysEyea<WBR>ndGinger002.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/TinyandMi<WBR>ssBea001.jpg] [/url]
Last fall, she started having major problems with bloat. We tried and tried and tried to work with her and help her fight through it. We'd just help her get through a bout (thanks to advice from Pam Nock who I'd frequently go to for help).....and she'd be better for a day or two - and then she'd be sick again.
The upside to this - was before she'd always been shy and hated me. She still hated me - but now she was learning to tolerate me - she was seeing that I LOVED her and would help her find relief. But she resented everything I did for her - and she made sure that EVERY TIME I helped her - she would pee on me. I'd hand her to Robin...no pee. If I got near her - she'd pee even if she had to squirt it like a fountain because I wasn't holding her.
She was quite a rabbit.
Sometime in October - she had a stroke. I worked with her and gave her massages and tried to help her. She could barely stand - although she would try if I pushed her. The benefit of my help? More chances to pee on me of course...
But she stopped rolling her eyes at me. She stopped seeing me as the enemy. She started understanding - I loved her. Dearly. She and I formed a special bond during this time - and we became close.
Oh - she still peed on me - it had become like a game. Art would hold her and sing, "Oh please, oh please.....don't pee on me...oh please, oh please....don't pee on me." Then he'd hand her to me - and you've got it. She peed.
During this time- GingerSpice went from becoming a rabbit - to becoming my child. She might have had a disability - but she was stronger in her disabilty than she ever was in her strengths. She showed me her love - because we'd finally learned to accept each other.
I bought her enough towels so she could have a fresh towel every day of the week...plus an extra. I'd put her in her box - so that she had to sit and use her muscles - and I'd come back to find her like this:
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/Gingers<WBR>%20Recliner/November12005Ginger<WBR>sRecliner004.jpg] [/url]
http://i4.photobucket.com<WBR>/albums/y139/PegFlint/Gingers<WBR>%20Recliner/November12005Ginger<WBR>sRecliner001.jpg] [/url]
We called it "Ginger's Recliner".
During November, I took the NaNoWriMo challenge (National Novel Writing Month) and wrote a novel - well - most of it. The challenge was to complete 50,000 words - I went over 60,000. But Ginger spent that month on my desk.....as I wrote I'd talk to her. Every few paragraphs - she'd get some food or hay or a drink. We'd "talk" to each other about the story....I knew it was in my mind...but she had sort of a girlish voice and would start out the day with, "Ok mom...today we need to do this on the book..." and go off talking. Yes -they were my thoughts. I'd talk to her just as if she said those things...and she'd wink at me.
These are the moments I will cherish and tresure.
Sometime in the last couple of weeks, I've seen her go downhill. I've shared with other mods about what was happening and we'd discuss it. The other day I thought I was going to lose her after a bad bout of diaherrea....but she came through. Looking back, I think she came back to give me time to let her go...to be prepared for her passing. But I think...she wanted to go - and she was ready to go. She just needed me to be ready.
Yesterday, Art said to me something along the lines of how I would handle it if Ginger ever got healthy. My response was, "I want that more than anything....I want her healthy and not suffering." As a Christian, I believe God was using Art to prepare me to let her go.
Shortly before I went to bed, I pm'd Pipp and told her Ginger would be crossing the bridge tonight. As I was completing my chores, I put on of her towels in the dryer to get it warm. I used to do this when we were going to nap together....get her in a warm towel and then snooze with her in my arms. When it came down to pull the towel out of the dryer - I broke down and cried. I offered her water and food - she took a bit of pedialyte but just wanted to sleep. Then I wrapped her in the towel - and she smiled at me and winked. I think she knew she was going - and that I would be ok.
It was almost 2 am...and I laid down and put my arms around her. I kissed her on the nose and I prayed over her. I asked God to let her live if it was His will - otherwise - to let her passing be painfree and not traumatic for either of us.
I've been debating back and forth as I write this - do I write this last part? Do I share what happened - how peaceful it was - how God prepared me for it? Will it offend some? Will it comfort those who have loved and lost? What do I do? I've never really experienced death - well - I have in some animals who fought death due to some things. It was grusome and it was hard and it was...horrible. I didn't want that for her.
I knew she would most likely pass in her sleep - quietly and peacefully - and that is what she did.
So I'm going to share what happened - but I want to say this first. As a Christian, I believe God can use dreams to comfort us and help us. I believe that many times they may be "messages" and that while what is said may not be a fact indeed (imagine a dancing cookie that talked..yet we've never experienced that)...the message they are meant to give us is that of comfort.
So here is what I shared with Pipp when Ginger passed...
I will share wtih you what happened here - it is going in her tribute - near the end.
I've never seen such a passing before. She and I curled up and slept together. Somehow, in my heart of hearts, I think I knew she would be gone by 4 am.
I had finally settled down and was sleeping deeply when I had this dream. Ginger was laying in her recliner and just chatting away with me in a little girl sing-songy voice....about how the rabbits in the rabbitry think this...and that and the other thing. She was telling me her thoughts on Tiny and Miss Bea and how she was glad he still had girls to comfort him. This went on for a few minutes when I realized (I'd had my back to her) that this wasn't just going on in my mind - Ginger was actually TALKING...
I looked at her and said, "Wait....we have to show this to daddy..." and I grabbed her little basket and took her out to Art. Meanwhile, she's just chattering away quietly to herself....and Art is distracted on the computer or something and I'm like, "Art you have to hear this....Ginger is self-aware and talking!"
Finally - her chattering has him turn around. She looks at him and she looks at me and goes, "Of COURSE I'm self-aware mom. I'm a BUNNY! Dad knew that all along...didn't you?"
Then she gave us her wink she sometimes gave...
... and I woke up.
I said her name and she halfway opened an eye and winked at me a bit and I said, "Momma will be right back....I love you." and I ran to the bathroom.
I was back less than 90 seconds later and as I wrapped my arms around her, I realized that while she was breathing slowly - she was gone. What had woken me up - was when she peed and pooped in the towel....as part of dying.
I laid there and kissed her on the nose and said, "you little twerp....you peed on me once again.." and I cried.
And I swear Pipp - in the back of my mind - I heard her say - in a sing-songy voice..."But of course I did mommy. I won!"
And she was gone...
I honestly believe that dream was given to me to comfort me. When I kissed her on the nose before running to the bathroom - she opened her eye and looked at me one more time. When I came back - as I wrapped my arms around here, even though she had a couple of breaths...I knew she was gone - the essence of Ginger had passed.
~~~
[color=<WBR>"blue"]Please read this part before trying to comment and comfort me?
Many times I read about a rabbit passing and I read what we say and it feels "empty" to me. I especially feel this way now.
I love the whole Rainbow Bridge thing - but I can not be *sure* that it is true. So please- don't tell me I'll see her again. I can't be 100% sure of that (with my personal beliefs). Don't tell me not to grieve - I lost the bunny of my heart. As I whispered to her before I fell asleep, "Don't tell Tiny, but over the last few months, you've become my #1 bunny and I'll always be Ginger's Mom too". I have to grieve in order to keep on making it through this and moving on. Grief is a part of life. Don't tell me she's not in pain. I know she's not in pain. But now I'm in pain. She is at peace - but I pay the price.
So if you want to comfort me - tell me how much you loved Tiny's blogs if you followed them and knew about her....or tell me how cute you think she was...or how she was quite a trooper - to pee on me even at the end. Help me celebrate her life...and remember her love. If need be - if you've been thinking about breeding a pet and decided not to because of Ginger's story - tell me that. If her story stops one rabbit from being breed needlessly by someone who's been thinking, "oh...I'll claim it was an 'accidental breeding'...so I can have babies.."...then maybe...just maybe...I can find a purpose for this pain and a way to alleviate it.
Light a candle for her - or for me.
If worse comes to worse - just tell me, "I hurt for you because I know you're hurting".
But I can't be assured she's going to Buck's arms...I can't be assured I'll see her again...so those things dont' comfort me.
However - knowing she touched the lives of those in the forum...knowing she touched my life and made me a more patient person because she needed care about 1-2 hours per day....helps me to see the impact she had on my life. If she impated your life - if her story somehow touched you...helped you deal with grief from a rabbit you've lost......let me know that.
And so - I'm going to close this with the words I'm always going to think of whenever I look at Ginger's pictures....because in some way - they do comfort me..
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Of course I'm self aware mommy - I'm a BUNNY!
and
I won!!!
Peg