A LONG Tribute to GingerSpice

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Hi Peg,



I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I know exactly what you aregoing through. Rabbits are such wonderful little pets and they give usso much unconditional love.

I dealt with the loss of 3 bunnies back in 2004 and it took me quitesome time to get over it. I wanted to let you know that you are in mythoughts.



Regards,



Mike


 
I know Gingerspie can't read this - and I know it won't bring her back.

But I ache for her so badly now. I have my moments when I think I'mgetting ok - and then I have days like today when all I can do is cryfor her.

Ginger....I miss you so much. I'd give anything for another hour withyou...just to be able to hold you - to feed you by hand - to give you alittle bath and clean you up and to love on you again.

There is this emptiness inside of me and none of the other bunnies even come close to filling it.

Oh Baby...why did you have to leave me so soon? Why didn't I know it would be this hard?

I wish you had fought longer...I wish you could have fought longer.

I just miss you so much tonight - I just want to hold you in my arms and cry...

I hope you're binkying whereever you are.....and knowing that you're loved.

Mama
 
Peg I feel so bad for you. Ihave been told by many that the Rainbow bridge is just a cute littlestory. And I know it is. But as aChristian I have to believe that the wonderful amazing God who createdus and all creatures would not just let an animal die and go into anonexistance. I believe that as he loves ALL the creatures hemade he has to have a spot in heaven for them too. So nomaybe it's not the rainbow bridge but I think he's got a spot for themtoo. And it does get easier hon. One dayyou will realize that you're able to think of your baby withoutcrying. On Jan 27, 2006 ( 2 days after my birthday)I had to help my beloved Baby Bootsie my disabled kitty togo. And I cried andcried. There were so many things her and I did and time spenttogether. She slept under the covers at my feeteverynight. But she was fixed at 6 weeksold. Way too young and she never had a chance. Shewas awesome. But at just short of 7 years old I hadto let her go. And I held her and cried and gave herpermission to go as the vet gave her the shot. Andfor many days I would cry at just the thought of her, or the site ofthe spot where I found her dying that last day. Or the siteof her fleece remnant that she so loved. But itslowly got better. I still miss her terribly somedays. But I know she is pain free now and that was not thecase for the last 5 months of her life. I am ashamed it tookme that long to let her go. But now as I look at the portraitwe had done of her I can smile. For you see it's my belovedBoo done in oil pastels. There she sits a gorgeous orangetabby with a halo and wings. I know thatshe is in heaven for she is one of God's creatures.
 
I just have to share that this week I did something special in GingerSpice's honor.

I submitted to the publisher the book that she helped me write. For 30days during November, the NaNoWriMo project (National Novel WritingMonth), GingerSpice sat on my desk for hours every day in herbasket....keeping me company as I wrote my first novel.

The goal for NaNoWriMo is a 50,000 word novel in a month - GingerSpice and I went over 55,000 words before the month was done.

I'd write a few paragraphs and give her a treat - or give her a drinkfrom her water bottle - or pet her - or move her around in her basket abit. (She'd then move herself right back the way she wanted to be).Then I'd write some more.

When GingerSpice died - I wasn't sure if I could go on...if I couldfinish the story. She will be in book two of the series - when there isa rabbit rescue set up and a specail needs bunny comes in. Of course,she was going to LIVE and survive in the book. (She is actually goingto pass away now in the book and it will be a major life event in thelife of the character).

Last weekend Art & I talked and he said it would be a shame forme to give up this dream just because GingerSpice wasn't here to egg meon. He felt like I should go for it.

So GingerSpice....I did it honey. Mama did it to honor you.

The book is submitted....the first four chapters...the plot synopsis and the series synopsis.

Now I need to finish the book - without you here. But I can do it. Imay cry every day at first when I sit down to write - but I'm not goingto give up the dream that you helped inspire in me. For 30 days youkept me company every day and you'd get excited when we'd sit down atmy desk. You knew the fruit loops and other treats were coming alongwith the good food....and you'd smile at me and just love on me.

Thank you Ginger....for keeping me going during November. I'll finishthe book - even if it is never published - I'll finish it - in honor ofyou....my very sweet "heart-bunny".

Mama
 
This is a wonderfull tribute to littleGingerSpice.It reminds me alot of when I lost my Paxy.I lost my hollandlop 3 yrs ago and the pain has yet to diminish,but your tribute hassome what comforted me.I my self am not sure what happens when a bun oranything has passed away-I am undescided.Maybe your bun and other bunsthat have passed away are busy hopping around and playing with eachother,maybe its like sleeping or like your at rest.But what everhappens when a bun passes away I do believe that they are out of painand suffering,but it is true-we are not.We will always feel the pain ofthere loss-always.3 yrs later when ever I see a block bunny-especiallya black holland lop I burst out bawling.I dont think that the pain evergoes completly away but at first I think its more grief and sufferingfor the ones that have loved the bun and after a while it turns into acelebration of there life or a collage of all your fondest memorieswith your bun.I am sorry that this has hapened to you and I know mywords cannot comfort you for the amount of pain that you are feeling isvery strong.
Samantha and Buns.
 
If tomorrow starts without me,

And I'm not there to see,


If the sun should rise

and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;

I wish so much you wouldn't cry

the way you did today,

While thinking of the many things,

we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,

As much as I love you! ,

And each time that you think of me,

I know you'll miss me too;

But when tomorrow starts without me,

Please try to understand,

That an angel came and called my name,

And took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready,

In heaven far above,

And that I'd have to leave behind;

All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,

A tear fell from my eye

For all my life,

I'd always thought,

I didn't want to die.

I had so much to live for,

So much left yet to do,

It seemed almost impossible,

That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,

The good ones and the bad,

I thought of all the love we shared,

And all the fun we had.

If I could relive yesterday,

Just even for a while,

I'd say good-bye and kiss you,

And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,

That this could never be,

For emptiness and memories,

Would take the place of me.

And when I thought of worldly things,

I might miss come tomorrow,

I thought of you, and when I did,

My heart was filled with sorrow.

But when I walked through heaven's gates,

I felt so much at home.

When God looked down and smiled at me,

From His great golden throne,

He said, "This is eternity,

And all I've promised you."

Today your life on earth is past,

But here life starts anew.

I promise no tomorrow,

But today will always last,

And since each day's the same way,

There's no longing for the past.

You have been so faithful,

So trusting and so true.

Though there were times you did some things,

You knew you shouldn't do.

But you have been forgiven,

and now at last you're free.

So won't you come and take my hand,

and share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,

don't think we're far apart,

For every time you think of me,

I'm right here, in your heart
 
Thanks Katt. I asked her to post the poem here after reading it in Wildfire's thread...

Peg
 
Hi peg, i'm so sorry for your loss, I've just readyour threadnow.
I dont know if you've ever read this or not, but it always helps me in dealing with loss.

Even if you just read the 'story' the angel tells, and dont reallybelieve in the rainbow bridge part, it is still really touching.

I hope it helps you in your grief in some way.
Just always remember that yourtears are healing :pray:

Choosing Tears:


[align=left]The little kitten stopped.
Behind him, other kitties were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the
warm sunshine.
It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness
of the pond's water, he could see his mommy.
And she was crying.
He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he
jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's image
danced away in the ripples.
"Mommy!" he cried.
"Is something wrong?" The little kitten turned around.
A lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with
love.
The little kitten sighed and walked out of the water.
"There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here."
He looked back at the water.
It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back.
"I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't
supposed to come here yet."
[/align]

[align=left]The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass.
The little kitten climbed into her lap.
It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good.
When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked, he
started to purr.
He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it.
"I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy
knows it deep down in her heart,"
the lady said.
The little kitten sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg.
"But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And daddy too."
"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?"
That surprised the little kitten.
No one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was
sleeping.
All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how fast he was or
how big he was getting.
"No, not that you were sick," the lady said.
"But you see, they chose tears."
"No, they didn't," the little kitten argued. Who would choose to cry?
The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him feel
safe and loved and warm - but he still worried about his mommy.
"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.
The little kitten looked up and saw other animals gathering around.
Cats, dogs, rabbits, horses and even some smaller pets.
They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting.
She smiled at them and began:
[/align]

[align=left][/align]

[align=left]A long, long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They were
lonesome and asked the Angel to help them.
The Angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first
window at all sorts of things - dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys
and sporting events.
[/align]

[align=left]"Here are things you can love," the Angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome."
"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."
"You have chosen Pleasure," the Angel told them.
But after a time some Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love
them."
The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all
sorts of wild animals.
"Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them."
So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals.
"You have chosen Satisfaction," the Angel said.


Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal reserves, some just
had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time many came back to the
Angel in Charge.
"They know we love them," they told the Angel. "But they don't love us back.
We want to be loved in return."
So the Angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people
walking around, hurrying places.
"Here are people for you to love," the Angel told them.
So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love.
"You have chosen Commitment," the Angel said.


But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.
"People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped loving us
and left. They broke our hearts."
The Angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said.
"You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."
As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side and
hurried to look out.
Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and lizards
and hamsters and ferrets.
The other Loving Ones hurried over.
"What about these?" they asked.
But the Angel just tried to shoo them away.
"Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said.
"But there's a problem with their system operations."
"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.
"Yes," the Angel said.
"Would they love us back?" another asked.
"Yes," the Angel said.
"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.
"No," the Angel admitted. "They will love you forever."
"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.
But the Angel was very upset.
"You don't understand," he told them. "You will have to feed these animals."
"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.
"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."
"We don't care."
The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were and
picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the
animals' eyes.
"They were not programmed right," the Angel said. "We can't offer a
warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems
malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."
But the Loving Ones did not care.
They were holding the warm little bodies and finding their hearts so filled
with love that they thought they would burst.
"We will take our chances," they said.
[/align]

[align=left][/align]

[align=left]"You do not understand." The Angel tried one more time. "They are so
dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to out
live you. You are destined to suffer their loss."
The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded.
"That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."
The Angel just watched them all go, shaking his head.
"You have chosen Tears," he whispered.


"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties.
"And so each mommy and daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart,
they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry."
The little kitten sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.
"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."
"Oh."
The little kitten got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge
of the pond.
His mommy was still there and still crying.
"Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.
She nodded
. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how
much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them
special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers.
"He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here.
Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting and
shared love.
And the promise of love once again.
As your mommy cries, she is healing. It may take a long while, but the tears
will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she will smile
when she thinks of you.
And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little kitten said.
The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet.
"No, she will love again. That is all she will think about."
"Look,"
she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?"
The other animals all ran ahead, but the little kitten wasn't ready to
leave his mommy.
"Will I ever get to be with her again?"
The kind lady nodded.
"You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the purr of
every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your spirit
will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day soon,
you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here for
when it's her turn to come."
"I would like that,"
the little kitten said and took one long look at
his mommy.
He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she had remembered
the time he almost fell into the bathtub.
"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry."
He glanced over at the other pets, running and playing and laughing with the
butterflies.
"Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."
Then he turned and raced after the others.
[/align]
Auther Unknown.
 
Oh sweetie - I've been thinking about you a lot lately.

I don't cry as much. You'd be so pleased.....I am doing better. I still tear up when I talk about you or think about you...but I'm almost able to get on with my life.

I wish you could've met Amy when she came here for a bit. She and I sat and talked about bunnies and stuff and just having her here and having her to talk to - made me realize that the quality of my life had gone downhill since you left - but that it wasn't just affecting me - it was affecting me - and dad - and the other buns. I realized that I was back in "barely functioning" mode again...because I wanted to shut down and stop hurting so badly.

I'm sure you remember Pow Wow...we call her "Princess Pow Wow" now. Well, she is helping me to deal with the grief....not that it was in her plan I'm sure! She got sick with GI Stasis and wry neck and let me tell you - she is EVERY BIT as stubborn as you are. I almost felt you smiling down on her the day she pee'd on daddy when he was trying to make her take some fluids. She got the same smug smile on her face that you always gave me.....

I know she isn't you - and she NEVER will be you. But I think I'm finally accepting her as a "heart bunny" for now - even if she goes back and forth between hating me and loving me. I hope you don't mind - but somehow - I think I feel your approval at times. Today when I held her and rubbed her ears and stuff and she gave me tooth purrs.....it just felt like you were there - in the room - right at that moment. I almost felt like I heard you saying to me, "its ok mommy....let go of the pain...and love again."

So honey - I'm choosing to love again. I'm scared 'cause I know its gonna hurt too.....

But I'm so tired of feeling numb....I'm tired of aching all the time. I can't bring you back - and I can't join you (yet)...

So go on and keep on binkying with R2 and all the other bunnies from here that have gone on to join you (give Stinky butt extra hugs for me - ok?)....and know that I love you dearly - even if I am willing to try and love again.

Now I must go back....Pow Wow is running laps around my bed to get some energy...she already scared the dog out of the room....now I need to make sure she doesnt' try and destroy the bed or something...

Mama
 
Babydoll...you've been gone six months. It seems hard to believe how long it has been since I held you - since you peed on me and then smiled and winked at me. So much has happened.

I still miss you and I still cry...but not as often and not as long.

Sport has babies and one of them is a tort with white on its nose. I almost cried when Robin was playing with it the other day and said, "Look...it looks almost like Ginger!"...and I realized she was right. I never realized just how much I loved your little mismarked nose and your white paws.

I miss you so much - but right now - words just feel so inadequate...I feel so numb at thinking about how long you've been gone.

So I'll close this by saying, "Mama loves you baby....binky free and know I'll see you again someday."

Mama
 
Dear GingerSpice,

I'm not sure I'm going to keep her - but I wanted to share a picture of GingerSnap here. I haven't played with her much to see her personality but she reminds us so much of you with her snip of white on the nose.





I think the test will be to see if she pees on me when I hold her......

I miss you sweetie. I've had so many losses and losing Pow Wow recently hurt so bad. It didn't hurt quite as bad as missing you - partly because I was able to picture you & Pow Wow and R2 all binkying together and sharing stories about how often you got to pee on mama.

Tell Pow Wow mama is sorry I wasn't there for her when she passed. And tell her I love her.....

Give R2 hugs for me as best you can...

and most of all - know mama misses you and you can never be replaced....

and you will always be remembered....

But this little girl sure does make me think of you.....

Mama
 
forgive this for being so late, but i just recently joined the forum.

what a BEAUTIFUL tribute to your bun!!!!!! i blow a kiss to gingerspice, where ever she may be now. she must have been a bright light in your life, and will continue to be. but, you know that.

i had to tell you how beautiful that was. i teared up. i just got my first bun 2 weeks ago, and i only hope he is to me what gingerspice is to you.
 
Oh Ginger....I'm missing you so badly this weekend. I want to cry and cry - but no matter how much I cry - it doesn't bring you back.

I dreamt about you this afternoon. I dreamt that you were snuggled in my arms while I was napping...and when I woke up - you weren't there. The ache over missing you was so hard...I wanted to bury my head in the pillow and cry.

I think part of my grief and loss is because after talking to Randy last night - I am totally convinced that you had EC....and that we could have extended your life with the right treatment. Of course - I don't know that we could've improved the quality of your life....but I could've (selfishly) still had you here with me.

It looks like Minnie has developed or is developing EC. Compared to her - dealing with you was a piece of cake. She tears me up and fights me whenever I try to do anything with her. Try to get her to sit in a basket on my desk? HA HA HA. Fortunately - she's still too healthy for that and we're just now catching the EC...as in....she's barely shown the symptoms but we're seeing them.

Oh baby girl....I love you so much. I want you HERE....NOW. I want you as part of my life... not part of my memories.

But that would be selfish of me - wouldn't it? To take you away from where you can binky free....to come here and live in a basket...just so I could love on you?

So mama will close this and go have a cry...and know that you're in a better place. Mama loves you so much.....I hope you know that.

Mama
 
*hugs*

Oh Peg I want so bad to give you a real hug. To let you cry, scream whatever you need.


 

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