A Goodbye to Fritz
This morning I had to say goodbye to my beloved Fritzie. He was my big gray cat, verging on the cusp of 17 years old. Losing him now was unexpected - despite his age - and I suppose the wounds will be raw for some time to come.
Thursday evening I came home from work - and as usual, I collected Kaya and we went out for her nightly walk. Upon returning I prepared dinners for everyone: dog, cat, rabbits. I hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary; Kaya was excited to be fed, and Fritz was at my feet, crying for his dinner as well. So once meals were administered I began to prepare my own...but out of the corner of my eye noticed something odd. Fritz, who was eating his dinner, would turn and look to the right after every few bites, almost as though he was seeing something invisible sneaking up beside him. He was up on his shelf eating, so I let him finish, and when he did, I placed him down on the floor and watched. It didn't take long to realize something was wrong: Fritz began walking slowly in circles. He was alert, steady on his feet and able to walk...but stuck in a sporadic right-hand turn. I called the vet, expecting to hear them say that they couldn't see him for x number of days...but fortunately they said, "Bring him in right away". They were preparing to close for the evening, but waited until I got there with Fritz.
Dr. MacDonald (a vet who I cannot say enough good things about) examed Fritz, listened to what I'd observed, and then, after assessing him physically said, "Well, the top three things that these symptoms point to are an ear infection, a neurological dysorder in older cats called (can't remember the name), or a brain tumor." Since one of Fritz's ears was red inside she said it was possible that he had an ear infection, but she also stated that her gut feeling was that he was dealing with a brain lesion...so she prescribed Baytril, administered a mild sedative, and said that - hopefully - he would respond quickly to the antibiotics.
Unfortunately it didn't work out that way. The sedative had almost no effect on Fritz at all. When I took him home he seemed a bit distressed, and he also seemed to not be able to get comfortable...constantly shifting and turning when he was lying down. That night I took him to bed with me, and wound up staying awake for the night as he fidgeted and involuntarily jerked his head every so often. For a small part of the night I did maanage to get him comfortable enough to sleep, but his rest was rather shortlived, as he'd awaken and then begin to shift around once again.
Finally, this morning I got up and picked up Fritz from my bed, only to discover he'd become much worse. He could barely walk at all; standing, losing his balance, falling over...once or twice he did manage to stroll a few feet, but for the most part he lay on the floor, head turning to the right. I looked into his eyes and was certain I saw pain. And fear. So I called the vet's immediately, and - once again, thankfully - they agreed to see him right away (a rarity in vet's offices here any more). Dr. MacDonald was there again to exam him, and as I described his renewed symptoms I could see tears forming in her eyes. She told me that there was still a small possibility that Fritz was dealing with an infection, but...given the sudden onset, and the fact that it became extreme so quickly...she was almost certain this was an issue with his brain. So after weighing all of the factors, I decided to have my boy euthanized.
I must say that this was hard. Fritz was a very special cat (as, I expect, every cat lover would say about their own felines), yet out of the many animals I've had come into my life, there have been only a handful who stood out in a way that is hard to describe. I do believe that all of our pets are soulmates, but some come to us with very special qualities...their ability to touch our hearts and to astound us with their love taking us completely by surprise. Fritz was such a soulmate.
He came into my - and my son's - lives unexpectedly; a bundle of gray, comedic energy who managed to charm every member of our small family. When my dog Misty died without warning many years ago, and a year later I adopted Kaya - who did look similar to Misty in size and color - Fritz was the one who came bounding into the kitchen upon hearing a dog's presence. He leapt over the temporary barrier (a baby gate) that I'd placed in the doorway, charging over to Kaya and not stopping until he'd reached her...then he stood on his hind legs, wrapped his front paws around her neck, and began licking her (much to my complete surprise and to Kaya's horror) then suddenly freezing in shock and running away just as quickly. For a moment I wondered what on earth had possessed Fritz to do such a thing; and then I realized...upon hearing Kaya's sniffs and woofs in the kitchen, Fritz had thought his buddy Misty had returned, and came barrelling into the room to greet his long-lost friend. Such was the love of Fritz.
Here are the last few pictures I took of Fritz, about a week or two ago. If I'd known then that our time left together was growing short, I would have filled my camera with images of my wonderful friend. It seems that our time together with our animal companions is always far too short, but no matter the length of time, it is always, always treasured. When my time comes to someday go to that faraway rainbow bridge, I will look forward to being greeted with a tremendous "cat-hug" around my neck from my Fritzie.
Till we meet again, my friend...
