wabbitmom12
Well-Known Member
I remember that episode you had last year. Talk about your post traumatic stress! You must have been in an utter fog while you and your co-worker walked.
After a major trauma like losing your mom or your brother being paralyzed, it seems like your life is forever split into "before" and "after". Since things will never be the same as "before", I think we forget - repress - as kind of a way to accept that "before" is not our life any longer. Oh, Dad remembers a few places they used to go as a family, some family pets, and that he attended a one-room school house (in the 1950's!!) for First grade. But, for him, his beloved older brother has "always"...for as long as HE remembers...been in his wheelchair.
And yes, they were (still are) very close. Dad's the youngest, and they have another brother and sister between him and Uncle Phil. But he says he was always closer to him than their other brother. He always helped out with Uncle Phil, when he was strong enough to help lift him and so forth (as these were the days before automatic wheelchairs and lifts to put a person into their car.) The farmhouse was never fitted with a handicapped ramp, either, which totally mystifies me, but I guess they all just got used to going up and down the steps with the wheelchair. (Can you imagine the kind of trust you would have to have in your helpers, to not panic that they might accidentally drop you, or tip you over, as you went up the steps? Boggles my mind!)
When Dad was old enough to date, he and Uncle Phil would double date - isn't that awesome? This has long since changed, but their other brother, Uncle Ron, didn't want to have a lot to do with Uncle Phil when they were teenagers. He just couldn't handle the responsibility - or the social awkwardness. I'm really proud of Dad, that he stepped up, out of love, to help Uncle get out of the house and have some normal teen age experiences. Uncle Phizzy (I call him
) has been married 40 years now, is a successful businessman, has 2 grown sons and a grandson. Life has been what he has made of it. As Christians, we believe we will see him whole and walking again in heaven...it's a great HOPE to hold on to!
After a major trauma like losing your mom or your brother being paralyzed, it seems like your life is forever split into "before" and "after". Since things will never be the same as "before", I think we forget - repress - as kind of a way to accept that "before" is not our life any longer. Oh, Dad remembers a few places they used to go as a family, some family pets, and that he attended a one-room school house (in the 1950's!!) for First grade. But, for him, his beloved older brother has "always"...for as long as HE remembers...been in his wheelchair.
And yes, they were (still are) very close. Dad's the youngest, and they have another brother and sister between him and Uncle Phil. But he says he was always closer to him than their other brother. He always helped out with Uncle Phil, when he was strong enough to help lift him and so forth (as these were the days before automatic wheelchairs and lifts to put a person into their car.) The farmhouse was never fitted with a handicapped ramp, either, which totally mystifies me, but I guess they all just got used to going up and down the steps with the wheelchair. (Can you imagine the kind of trust you would have to have in your helpers, to not panic that they might accidentally drop you, or tip you over, as you went up the steps? Boggles my mind!)
When Dad was old enough to date, he and Uncle Phil would double date - isn't that awesome? This has long since changed, but their other brother, Uncle Ron, didn't want to have a lot to do with Uncle Phil when they were teenagers. He just couldn't handle the responsibility - or the social awkwardness. I'm really proud of Dad, that he stepped up, out of love, to help Uncle get out of the house and have some normal teen age experiences. Uncle Phizzy (I call him
) has been married 40 years now, is a successful businessman, has 2 grown sons and a grandson. Life has been what he has made of it. As Christians, we believe we will see him whole and walking again in heaven...it's a great HOPE to hold on to!
