MissBinky
Well-Known Member
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[align=center]:heartsRIP Wiggly Poo 2003-2007:hearts[/align]
[align=center]Dear baby girl,[/align]
[align=center]Is it really one year today? Why then has the pain not eased yet? It seems like just yesterday I wascradling you in my arms as you went to sleep one last time. I've been haunted by that day ever since. There isn't a day that you haven't crossed my mind.[/align]
[align=center]If only there was a way to go back in time... Surely there must be something, a sign, that I missed somewhere along the line. I'll never understand why you gave me such a fright, and then were back to your perky old self the very next day, only to die on me the day after. Why? Why couldn't you just have not been ok that Monday? You knew we had a vet appointment, you knew I would have had you checked. Why did you make me think you were fine? I don't get it...[/align]
[align=center]Now to make matters worse, I had made promises to you that I failed to keep. My own foolishness, my own selfishness has caused me to fail. After you got ill in August,I let myself be overcome with fear. Knowing that you'd leave me one day, I already wanted to fill a void that wasn't even there yet. And so I went and got more bunnies, trying to find another bunny just like you so, if you left, it would hurt less.[/align]
[align=center]God how I was so wrong.[/align]
[align=center]Dozens of bunnies came and went, but none were like you. I even got my dream bunny, a gorgeous magpie,but you still had my heart. Though I tried to detach myself from you, you always remained my favorite - my one baby girl. Sure, I loved them all, but I loved them less. When you left, they were a sore reminder that you could not be replaced. Slowly slowly, I reconnected with them but the damage was done. I had wasted precious time, and I failed you, failed them, and failed myself. Bam-Bam needed consolation but I was clueless as to what to do. Ashton never got to know me and Dahlia never got the attention she so desperately craved from me. Clueless asI was, I took in yet another, in the hopes that she would help ease the pain. But she didn't. On the other hand, she was a friend to Dahlia, and then the boys became friends as well. They seemed happy enough, so my job was done - so I thought. [/align]
[align=center]Bam-Bam suffered. When Ashton died, he never was the same again. That boy loved you so much... He just couldn't find his happy place again. Despite trying, I was too late. He and I had never really bonded, and by then, he wanted little to do with me. He missed you too much. And so I failed that promise to you baby girl, the promise to watch over him, and love him as much as you loved him because he was part of you. I found him a new home, a home where he could be free all day - free to jump and run as his heart desires. I know it's not what should have happened, but he is well now.[/align]
[align=center]I had promised you to help other bunnies in your memory. I had promised to do everything I could. Instead, I soon found myself having to rehome the bunnies with the exception of Annabel, who brought me so much peace, I couldn't live without. It felt horrible to realize that I could no longer provide even the basic needs required from me. My own stupidity in rushing to replace you caused me to expose myself to too many allergens at once, to a point where I cannot be treated for it. I sincerely thought I was helping. I thought these bunnies were better off with me than elsewhere but then I failed them and took them from a home they knew and sent them into the unknown. I'll never forgive myself for that.[/align]
[align=center]Even now, I am being punished. You see, I tried so desperately not to let the same happen with Annabel. I tried and tried to make things right, at least for one if I couldn't for all of you. And now I have failed her as well. I am losing her too. All because I was too stupid to realize the error of my ways in time to avoid making my health the way it is now. I have failed once too many times, and so, after this, I will be done with bunnies. [/align]
[align=center]I had promised to honour you but I fear I have let you down baby girl. I so wish I could take it all back, do everything differently and not have failed any of you the way I did. I wish you were all home with me right now, like you all belong. Forgive me for having been so emotional, for having acted so irrationally.[/align]
[align=center]As for the rest, you'll always have your special place in my home and in my heart. Mario ordered the prints and I am awaiting them quite impatiently. I have yet to make the scrapbook, the wound is still fresh. I haven't found the strength yet. Even writing this is tearing me up.[/align]
[align=center]I love you with all my heart. I'll remember the lessons I've learned and cherish the memories forever.[/align]
[align=center]RIP sweetie.[/align]
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[align=center]:heartsRIP Wiggly Poo 2003-2007:hearts[/align]
[align=center]Dear baby girl,[/align]
[align=center]Is it really one year today? Why then has the pain not eased yet? It seems like just yesterday I wascradling you in my arms as you went to sleep one last time. I've been haunted by that day ever since. There isn't a day that you haven't crossed my mind.[/align]
[align=center]If only there was a way to go back in time... Surely there must be something, a sign, that I missed somewhere along the line. I'll never understand why you gave me such a fright, and then were back to your perky old self the very next day, only to die on me the day after. Why? Why couldn't you just have not been ok that Monday? You knew we had a vet appointment, you knew I would have had you checked. Why did you make me think you were fine? I don't get it...[/align]
[align=center]Now to make matters worse, I had made promises to you that I failed to keep. My own foolishness, my own selfishness has caused me to fail. After you got ill in August,I let myself be overcome with fear. Knowing that you'd leave me one day, I already wanted to fill a void that wasn't even there yet. And so I went and got more bunnies, trying to find another bunny just like you so, if you left, it would hurt less.[/align]
[align=center]God how I was so wrong.[/align]
[align=center]Dozens of bunnies came and went, but none were like you. I even got my dream bunny, a gorgeous magpie,but you still had my heart. Though I tried to detach myself from you, you always remained my favorite - my one baby girl. Sure, I loved them all, but I loved them less. When you left, they were a sore reminder that you could not be replaced. Slowly slowly, I reconnected with them but the damage was done. I had wasted precious time, and I failed you, failed them, and failed myself. Bam-Bam needed consolation but I was clueless as to what to do. Ashton never got to know me and Dahlia never got the attention she so desperately craved from me. Clueless asI was, I took in yet another, in the hopes that she would help ease the pain. But she didn't. On the other hand, she was a friend to Dahlia, and then the boys became friends as well. They seemed happy enough, so my job was done - so I thought. [/align]
[align=center]Bam-Bam suffered. When Ashton died, he never was the same again. That boy loved you so much... He just couldn't find his happy place again. Despite trying, I was too late. He and I had never really bonded, and by then, he wanted little to do with me. He missed you too much. And so I failed that promise to you baby girl, the promise to watch over him, and love him as much as you loved him because he was part of you. I found him a new home, a home where he could be free all day - free to jump and run as his heart desires. I know it's not what should have happened, but he is well now.[/align]
[align=center]I had promised you to help other bunnies in your memory. I had promised to do everything I could. Instead, I soon found myself having to rehome the bunnies with the exception of Annabel, who brought me so much peace, I couldn't live without. It felt horrible to realize that I could no longer provide even the basic needs required from me. My own stupidity in rushing to replace you caused me to expose myself to too many allergens at once, to a point where I cannot be treated for it. I sincerely thought I was helping. I thought these bunnies were better off with me than elsewhere but then I failed them and took them from a home they knew and sent them into the unknown. I'll never forgive myself for that.[/align]
[align=center]Even now, I am being punished. You see, I tried so desperately not to let the same happen with Annabel. I tried and tried to make things right, at least for one if I couldn't for all of you. And now I have failed her as well. I am losing her too. All because I was too stupid to realize the error of my ways in time to avoid making my health the way it is now. I have failed once too many times, and so, after this, I will be done with bunnies. [/align]
[align=center]I had promised to honour you but I fear I have let you down baby girl. I so wish I could take it all back, do everything differently and not have failed any of you the way I did. I wish you were all home with me right now, like you all belong. Forgive me for having been so emotional, for having acted so irrationally.[/align]
[align=center]As for the rest, you'll always have your special place in my home and in my heart. Mario ordered the prints and I am awaiting them quite impatiently. I have yet to make the scrapbook, the wound is still fresh. I haven't found the strength yet. Even writing this is tearing me up.[/align]
[align=center]I love you with all my heart. I'll remember the lessons I've learned and cherish the memories forever.[/align]
[align=center]RIP sweetie.[/align]
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I know how horrible it is. We all experience the deaths of our heart bunnies in different ways, but in some ways it's the same. Phoebe Mae has something to send to you if you PM me your address!
