Bassetluv
Well-Known Member
Top Ten Reasons To Own A Rabbit
10. No more annoying phone calls from solicitors. The phone cord will have long since been severed by inquisitive rabbit teeth, thus solving the dinner-time interruptions by telephone salespeople.
9. Save on cable costs. Seeing a dozen binkies performed by a madly insane lagomorph darting about the room is much more fun than turning on the tv anyway.
8. No more dust bunnies. Just send your pet rabbit under the bed, have him rove around for a bit, and when he emerges, so does the dust. (Note: This is especially advantageous when one owns lop-eared varieties.)
7. You will eat healthier. A fridge that was once stocked with Hungry Man frozen entr�es and leftover pizza will now be filled to overflowing with fresh carrots, parsley, lettuce, kale, etc., forcing you to choose a more heart-conscious diet. But remember: you have to be faster than the bunny when opening the refrigerator door if you want to have anything left for yourself.
6. Nosey neighbors will become a thing of the past. You know it�every street has one: a Martha, Agnes, or Fred�lonely neighbors who make it their business to know all of yours. Buy a Flemish Giant and park him or her in the living room; the next time your uninvited guests drop by, tell them that �Fluffy the bunny� is a direct relative of the little white rabbit from Monty Python�s Holy Grail. Then proudly show them his teeth. You�ll never see them again. Guaranteed.
5. A great way to shoo out relatives who overstay their welcome.If Uncle Verne or cousin Jane show no signs of leaving once their annual month-long vacation to your house ends, decide to do a bit of house redesigning. Place your rabbits� cages (all 15 or 20 of them) in the guest bedroom, explaining that the rabbits need the southern exposure of the sunlight in there. By the end of that first night of cage rattling, dish tossing and hind leg thumping, your relatives will have their bags packed and stacked at the front door, waiting for the cab to arrive.
4. A house that smells nicer. (C�mon, admit it�rabbit poo just doesn�t have the same fragrant aroma that kitty poo possesses.)
3. Your children will learn to spell faster. Are your kids getting bored of the same old routine�learning to spell by printing letter after letter on a piece of paper, then sounding out the word?Well, no more! With bunny balls, spelling is made easy and fun. Simply roll the balls until they form the words you wish your children will learn, and ask the kiddies to read what they see. It�s not only fun and exciting, but clean-up�s a breeze as well. They vacuum easily�or better yet, the family dog can be taught to clean the slate, thus eliminating the need to haul out the vac every time a spelling lesson ends.
2. You will be the coolest mom or dad on the block. Next time your child has Show And Tell at school, take the rabbit in. Then tell all the children who are sitting in their seats, eyes ogling the strange creature you have in the cage, that you are a scientist working on a secret mission, and this is the first of your experiments�a mutant dog/cat/guinea pig combination that took you decades to create. Results will be better if you own one of the more exotic breeds, such as an English lop or a Belgian Hare; but know that you will have at least half the class � and at least one teacher � convinced that you�ve created a Darwinian monster.
And finally, the number 1 reason to own a rabbit:
1. Your own set of designer clothes. Leave your jeans/t-shirts/sweaters lying somewhere within easy access of your rabbit (this is usually anywhere except the ceiling) and check it out in the morning: instant designer clothing! Just think of the hundreds of dollars that your foolhardy friends dole out to pay for a hole-riddled pair of pants, and of all the hours they spend in specialty shops searching for them. You can laugh in their faces when you show them your own, created in your own home, literally as you sleep. Why, with enough ingenuity you could even make a small fortune with it (think: eBay).
10. No more annoying phone calls from solicitors. The phone cord will have long since been severed by inquisitive rabbit teeth, thus solving the dinner-time interruptions by telephone salespeople.
9. Save on cable costs. Seeing a dozen binkies performed by a madly insane lagomorph darting about the room is much more fun than turning on the tv anyway.
8. No more dust bunnies. Just send your pet rabbit under the bed, have him rove around for a bit, and when he emerges, so does the dust. (Note: This is especially advantageous when one owns lop-eared varieties.)
7. You will eat healthier. A fridge that was once stocked with Hungry Man frozen entr�es and leftover pizza will now be filled to overflowing with fresh carrots, parsley, lettuce, kale, etc., forcing you to choose a more heart-conscious diet. But remember: you have to be faster than the bunny when opening the refrigerator door if you want to have anything left for yourself.
6. Nosey neighbors will become a thing of the past. You know it�every street has one: a Martha, Agnes, or Fred�lonely neighbors who make it their business to know all of yours. Buy a Flemish Giant and park him or her in the living room; the next time your uninvited guests drop by, tell them that �Fluffy the bunny� is a direct relative of the little white rabbit from Monty Python�s Holy Grail. Then proudly show them his teeth. You�ll never see them again. Guaranteed.
5. A great way to shoo out relatives who overstay their welcome.If Uncle Verne or cousin Jane show no signs of leaving once their annual month-long vacation to your house ends, decide to do a bit of house redesigning. Place your rabbits� cages (all 15 or 20 of them) in the guest bedroom, explaining that the rabbits need the southern exposure of the sunlight in there. By the end of that first night of cage rattling, dish tossing and hind leg thumping, your relatives will have their bags packed and stacked at the front door, waiting for the cab to arrive.
4. A house that smells nicer. (C�mon, admit it�rabbit poo just doesn�t have the same fragrant aroma that kitty poo possesses.)
3. Your children will learn to spell faster. Are your kids getting bored of the same old routine�learning to spell by printing letter after letter on a piece of paper, then sounding out the word?Well, no more! With bunny balls, spelling is made easy and fun. Simply roll the balls until they form the words you wish your children will learn, and ask the kiddies to read what they see. It�s not only fun and exciting, but clean-up�s a breeze as well. They vacuum easily�or better yet, the family dog can be taught to clean the slate, thus eliminating the need to haul out the vac every time a spelling lesson ends.
2. You will be the coolest mom or dad on the block. Next time your child has Show And Tell at school, take the rabbit in. Then tell all the children who are sitting in their seats, eyes ogling the strange creature you have in the cage, that you are a scientist working on a secret mission, and this is the first of your experiments�a mutant dog/cat/guinea pig combination that took you decades to create. Results will be better if you own one of the more exotic breeds, such as an English lop or a Belgian Hare; but know that you will have at least half the class � and at least one teacher � convinced that you�ve created a Darwinian monster.
And finally, the number 1 reason to own a rabbit:
1. Your own set of designer clothes. Leave your jeans/t-shirts/sweaters lying somewhere within easy access of your rabbit (this is usually anywhere except the ceiling) and check it out in the morning: instant designer clothing! Just think of the hundreds of dollars that your foolhardy friends dole out to pay for a hole-riddled pair of pants, and of all the hours they spend in specialty shops searching for them. You can laugh in their faces when you show them your own, created in your own home, literally as you sleep. Why, with enough ingenuity you could even make a small fortune with it (think: eBay).
