As crazy as this sounds, I don't think I'd be able to get another bun. It'd just make me think of Ollie & miss him too much
He really was so special and EVERYONE he met instantly became obsessed
I hope you are feeling a little bit better and there was a typo in my post, who should have been how... I'm still taking pain meds for my ribs so I'm not 100% yet so please excuse me, but...
I'm glad you understood what I was getting at.. I said the same thing when Buttons died.
I thought I was going to get rid of ALL my animals, become a hermit, read the Bible cover to cover, chant until I reached enlightenment, etc... I would not have any more animals because my heart broken and still in some ways is.. because Buttons *was*special, in the same way you are saying Ollie was. I can't think about him now without getting misty and he died in 2010 when I was still working at Goddard. He was the joy of my life, honestly. If God came down and said, ok Buttons can come back and live as long as you live or your husband, no if ands or buts, BUTTONS is the number one choice. Hands down. He was with me before hubby... so yes, I would throw husband under the bus.. I wouldn't even have to think about it. Everyone that met Buttons loved him. Sure, he took a little bit to warm up to you, but if you were worth it, it was worth winning his trust!
However, after a week or so after he died, and especially after sitting in bed just about neglecting all my other pets, my husband said those magic words
'now you are NOT going to go out and get any more animals, right? After all these guys die we are not going to have any more pets, ok?'
I was ok for a bout a week or so and then felt an odd void. Sure, I had other pets, but Buttons after all was special. He was a gem in a world of rocks and there was a void that I could feel, an itch I could not scratch. I couldn't place my finger on it.
I suddenly found myself going on Petfinder and found Scrappy which was a dead ringer for Buttons (but sure not in anything else especially temperment..other than looks) and VOILA... I gave Scrappy a home within a week. I snuck him into the house past the dogs and hit him in the back room. I had him on the bed with me when my husband walked in and saw him and was like WTF is that on the bed with you? Another animal??????!!!!!
Same thing with Chico and Chica whose mother died with two other kits. First rabbit I had in my life. Honest!! almost two years ago. Everyone was like keep it outside so I did. (never again)
It was rabbit surprise like Tammy B on here. You get one rabbit and wind up with 4 more free! (Pregnant) After day 4 with the babies, I go to check up on them. Mother, Dead. 2 of the kits. Dead. Chico is missing half his left foot. Chica is alive no problems. I freak out and run around screaming... WTF?
I had to raise the two that lived Chico and Chica by hand. They will be 2 years old in June.
"Now after they die we are not adding any MORE rabbits ok?" My husband said again when they are kits a month old.
"Sure" I respond, not paying him any attention as I normally do.
Fast foward to November of 2013. A friend sends me a photo of a rabbit who I've come to know as Brooke in a carrier, looking scared, there is something primal and frightened about her demeanor. I can see it in her eyes. She's terrified.
I can't get that photo of her out of my head. I feel compelled to write the people trying to get her out of the animal shelter because in 3 days the shelter is going to put her and this Broken Holland Lop named LADY to sleep.
I cross my fingers and pray and hope someone will pick them up. I mean, after all they are rabbits. Rabbits are cute and cuddly.
I take care of my two Chico and Chica in the meantime but can't get these two out of my head. I keep checking the web page. No takers. They are about to be put down. I start getting strange feelings in my stomach.
Down to day one. 24 hours before Lady and Brooke are going to be put down.
(Side note: Brooke was thrown in the street by who ever owned her. Lady was brought to the shelter at 8 months and told by the owner put her down or do whatever. We don't have time for her.. (ass**les..)
I breathe hard and do something I know that is going to start World War III in my house. I write the rescue and say I will take BOTH of the rabbits and please go get them before they are put down.
I have no idea where in the hell I'm going to put them, but I'm not going to let them get killed, no way. I did not tell my husband either. I was going to let it be a surprise! November 7 2013 the transporters got Lady and Brooke to me from Tenn. I think it was good decision. Sure, maybe we are short on space, but who isn't.
I know about the grief angle. I lived it a good couple of times. I freaked out when Buttons died and threw the biggest fit in the Emergency Vets we took him to when they said they could not bring him back and tried. I must have scared the sh*t out of everyone in there with screaming and crying. I was more composed when my mother died, believe it or not and I said the exact same thing you said when Buttons died.
What I personally learned was never say never. TIme heals all wounds, is a bit cliche, but it's a cliche for a reason, because they have an anchor in truth... so it will heal yourself also maybe not 100%.. maybe not to the point where you were before.. but in time there is a slow steady healing that comes even though it doesn't feel like it now. And when you hit that point is when you will feel like you are ready for another animal. And if that point never comes, then it doesn't.
But if it does it will be a great thing for the animal/s that enters your life. I can tell from how you lived and loved Ollie.
Vanessa
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