Kim Alwood
Member
By the end of May/beginning of June 06, after a very failed back surgery and medicated beyond words, I had finally decided that on June 3rd while my husband and daughter were away, I would take my life, so they would have a better life. I couldn't hardly get out of bed anymore, and the meds kept me sick all of the time. I had went from 125 pounds down to 90 pounds. I couldn't keep food down. I told my doctors of my plight, and their answers were "your alive deal with it"! And that is exactly what I had decided to do, deal with it first thing June 3rd. However on June 2nd, my husband was taking a load of wood over to the lot where we store fire wood. While he was unloading his truck this tiny little rabbit hopped over very close. She looked wild by her color, so he didn't make any sudden moves as not to scare her. He just stood and talked to her. Pretty soon she came over and started running in and out of his feet. So he bent down to see if she would let him touch her. Sure enough he did. So he went out side of the gates and got her a handful of clover to say thankyou. He finished unloading his truck walked over and gave the bunny one last pet good bye, and headed back to the truck. Before he could get into the seat, this little bunny climbed up into the floor board as to say hey Im coming with. Knowing we had a cat at home, and 5 birds, he wasn't sure what to do. But she insisted on coming with, so he let her. When he got back to our house he called me on the phone and asked me to come outside to help him carry groceries in. I found it a little odd as he knew I couldn't really lift anything. And he never asked me to. But knowing this was my last night with him, I wanted to make it the best I could for him and my daughter both. So I went outside. I opened the truck door, and on the seat next to him sat this little angel. He told me the story of how they had met, and said we could keep her in the flower garden. Not on my life I told him, she is coming in. The feral cats in the neighborhood would make her a meal in no time. So we brought her in and from that very minute she made our house her home. She established with the cat that she was the Queen and he would need to bow to her. And he did. He was horrified of her. And I think she was proud of that. From the moment I met her I knew she had just saved my life. I don't to this day know what it was about her, but it was like she was my saviour. Thanks to her we ended up opening our home to two more rescue bunnies that were minutes away from death. The rescue organizations in our town don't take bunnies, but at a Animal Protective League garage sale we told them we would be interested in taking in other bunnies. (Each of our bunnies have 13 x 6 foot rooms of their own) Babygirls room was attached to ours, but we had put up a gate to keep her separate. Right after Christmas this past year, we were going to Florida, and having grandma and grandpa stay with them. I was so worried that Babygirl would die from depression from us being gone, as I have read of that happening, that I opened the gate to our bedroom up to have extra special time with her alone. She didn't get along with the other bunnies so we would have to divide up the day for each to come out to the living room and play. Although toward the end she started getting along with Buttercup the boy when he was well enough to hop again. Babygirl was a very lively little bunny. And also so full of love. She would spend hours grooming her daddy. And on Valentines day I said "are you my valentine, can mommy have kisses, well she would always stick that cute little nose up when I would say it, and I would cover her with kisses. Well on Valentines day when I asked for kisses she stuck the nose up, and I bent down to kiss her as usual, and she kissed me first right on the end of my nose. Im glad I took down the gate to her bedroom. She was the last bunny I seen everynight when I would go to bed. I always wake up before the alarm goes off, and it was like she could here my eyelids lift, because as soon as they did, she would come wiggle and jiggling across the bedroom as fast as she could to see me. As I would put my robe on she would tug at the bottom of it as to say hurry up mom, Im ready for my full bunny massage, followed by breakfast. Well on Sunday the 24th, my daughter went into her room to let her out for her evening of family time and play. However my daughter found her laying in my room, and sounding very stopped up like she had a head cold. We brought her out anyway, and she seemed to get better. She was extra snuggly and loving that night though. The next morning my husband took off the morning to rush her to the doctors although she was sounding better. The doctor who wasn't her regular wouldn't let my husband stay with her because we didn't have and appointment. So he had to leave her there. When he picked her up 3 hours later the vet said she was going to be fine she just had an upper respiratory infection, we would need to use a baby sucky bulb to keep her nose clear, put a vaporizer with vicks in it in her room, give her an antibiotic for 3 weeks, and keep her away from the other bunnies as she would be very contagious. By 5 that night she started getting worse again. We did everything the vet said, sucked out her nose cleaned it with a warm wash cloth, medicated her and put that horrible smelling vaporizer in her room that only made her little brown eyes water. I called the vet back and told him she was getting worse. He literally told me he didn't believe me, because he had listened to her lungs and heart, and all was fine. It was all in her head. By 8 things were getting really bad. At that point all vets were closed except the emergency vet. So I called them only to be told we don't see rabbits, but we will euthinize her for you. Not an option bleep!! The next closest Bunny vet was 2 hours away and we were having an Ice storm. By 10:30 I was on the phone with them crying so hard I could barely get the words out, they told me to bring her in, but call first as they were extremely busy, and wanted to have a doctor and a room ready for her when we arrived.We wrapped her up didn't even take time to change from PJ's or warm the car, and off we went. I made it a mile when I realized I had forgot my phone and had to turn back. I parked in the road as our drive has a slight dip and I didn't want to disturb her or skare her anymore than she already was. I could see the fear in those beautiful brown eyes. I ran in the house as fast as I could grabbed my phone, and her favorite purple blanky, and ran for the door. My husband was half way up the drive with her barely able to walk. She had climbed up next to his heart laid her head down on his shoulder, drew in one long deep breath, and passed away. My little Babygirl, my saviour the one who had came to me and saved my life, was gone, and I wasn't with her. I held her forever, my husband is trained in CPR, I begged him to start mouth to mouth, he said it was to late, and to cruel. My head was spinning, my heart shattering, and I couldn't save her. I begged God before he took her, and long after to please not take her she wasn't even 2 yet. Well since they though she was so contagious, and with us having 2 other bunnies, our reg. vet asked that we do an autopsy so we would know exactly how to treat the other bunnies before we lost them too. Well it turned out that our Babygirls heart was enlarged on one half, and it filled with fluids, which is what was coming out her nose, the fluid literally caused her heart to explode. Our vet said no one had ever seen anything like this in any animal especially not a bunny before, and because we allowed them to do the autopsy we may have just saved many other bunnies lives. Although I have two other bunnies who I love very much, Its not the same with out Babygirl. She had came into my life just in time. She would kiss my tears away, and always make me feel better. I know she loved me as much as I loved her. But I can't forgive my self for making her go to the vet that day and be left by her self then take the meds that wouldn't have saved her any way, she hated medication, and that horrible smelling vaporizer. She didn't even get to pass on in the comfort of her own home. I find some peace in knowing she was in her daddys arms, she loved him very much, but I feel like I abandoned her when she needed me the most. And my stupid camera didn't work well or for long, and with me not working money was tight. We have 52 pics of her some so blurry you can't hardly make her out, but I know it is her. I was getting a new camera as soon as my husband would get his tax return. They came the day after she passed. To late. I laid her to rest out at my parent house, as I know they will never sale their property, and it is very beautiful in the country with lots of wild bunnies and dears. It was everything I could do to close the lid on her casket, my tears froze as they ran down my face, but I didn't want to say goodbye. Somehow being able to kiss her and see her...she just look like she was a little angel asleep wrapped all snug in her favorite blanky, and with her favorite stuffed bunnies. She loved her bunnies, she gave them baths from head to toe everyday. I keep looking thinking I will see her coming around the corner, or here those tiny little paws clicking on the hard wood floor. She used to sneak out of her room into the dining room and tippy toe under the table. The clicking gave her away, but it was a game of you can't see me mom. I miss her so much. I don't know how Im supposed go on with out her. I look out side, and I think how dare the sun rise today, doesn't it know that she is gone. My parents house is 1 1/2 hours away, so it makes it hard to go see her everyday, and I worry about her grave. My mom isn't well so she can't take care of it for me. But I will go out on Sunday to make sure everything is ok. I know she isn't in there, that she is with God now...but....So if you read this say a little prayer for her. Ask God to give her bunny kisses and rub that little forehead. Ask him to keep her safe until her mommy and daddy and sissy can be with her again. Pray for all the bunnies with and with out homes. And love them the best you can, because as I found out you just never know when God will call them home.
ink iris:
