naturestee
Well-Known Member
Thanks so much to Irishmist for sharing this. Her vet sent it to her after her bun Pez passed away.
THE STAGES OF GRIEF
There are many stages of grief, but not everyone experiences them all or in the same order. You may experience denial, anger, guilt, depression, acceptance and resolution.
Your first reaction may be denial - denial that the animal has died or that death is imminent. Denial may begin when you first learn the seriousness of your animals illness or injuries. Often, the more sudden the death, the more difficult the loss is to accept.
ANGER AND GUILT often follow denial. Your anger may be directed toward people you normally love and respect, including your family and your vetrinarian. People coping with death will often say things that they do not mean to hurt. You may feel guilty or blame others for not recognizing the illness earlier, for not doing something sooner, for not being able to afford other types or further treatment, or for being careless and allowing the animal to become sick or injured.
DEPRESSION is also a part of the range of emotions experienced after the death of a special animal. The tears flow, there are knots in your stomach and you feel drained of all your energy. Day-to-day tasks seem impossible to perform. Sometimes you may even ask yourself if you can go on without the animal. The answer is yes, but there are times when special assistance may be helpful in dealing with your loss.
RESOLVE AND ACCEPT Eventually you can begin to accept your animal's death. Even when you have reached resolution and acceptance, feelings of anger, denial, guilt, and depression may reapear. If this does happen, these feelings will usually be less intense and with time will be replaced with fond memories.
Although the stages of grief apply fairly universally, grieving is always a personal process. Some people take longer to come to terms with denial, anger, guilt and depression and each loss is different.If you understand that these are normal reactions, you will be better prepared to cope with your feelings and to help others face theirs. Family and friends should be reassured that sorrow and grief are normal and natural responses to death.
THEY MAY NOT UNDERSTAND
Sometimes well-meaning family and friends may not realize how important your animal was to you or the intensity of your grief. Comments they make my seem cruel and uncaring. Be honest with yourself and others about how you feel. If despair mounts, talk to someone who will listen to your feelings about your loss of your animal. Talk about your sorrow, but also the fun times you and the animal spent together, the activities you enjoyed and the memories that are meaningful.
THE HURT IS DEEP
If you or a family member have great difficulty in accepting your animal's death and cannot resolve feelings of grief and sorrow, you may want to discuss these feelings with a person who is trained to understand the grieving process. Your veterinarian certainly understands the relationship you have lost and may be able to suggest support groups and help lines, grief counsellors, clergymen, social workers, physicians or psychologists who can help.
SHOULD I GET ANOTHER ANIMAL
The death of an animal can upset you emotionally, especially when euthanasia is involved. Some people may feel they would never want another animal. For others, a new animal may help them recover from their loss more quickly. Just as grief is a personal experience, the decision of when, if ever, to bring home a new animal into your life is a personal one. If a family member is having difficulty accepting the animal's death, getting a new animal before that person has resolved his or her grief may imply that the life of the deceased animal was unworthy of the grief that is still being felt. Family members should agree on the appropriate time to acquire a new animal. Although you can never replace the animal you lost, you can obtain another to share your life.
REMEMBERING YOUR ANIMAL
The period from birth to old age is much shorter for most domesticanimals than for people. Death is part of the life cycle. It cannot be avoided, but understanding and compassion can help you, your family,and your friends manage the grief associated with it. Try to recall and treasure the good times you spent with your animal. You may also wish to establish a memorial of some type or contribute to a charity in honor of your animal.
The bond that we form with animals is unique. The loss of an animal can have an impact on you that is as great or even greater than the loss of a family member or friend. This bond is what makes our interactions with animals rich and rewarding, but also what makes the grief process so complicated.
After your animal has died or been lost, it is natural and normal to feel grief and sorrow. Although grief is an internal and private response, there are certain stages of grief that most people experience. By understanding the process, you will be able to manage your grief and to help other family members and friends who share your sense of loss.
Taken from a brochure that was sent to me from my vet
written by the American Veterinary Medical Association
BOOKS DEALING WITH PET LOSS
CHILDREN
AMAZON.COM
For every dog an angel by Christine Davis
For every cat an angel by Christine Davis
When a pet dies by Fred Rogers
I'll always love you by Cynthia Rylant
The tenth good thing about barney by Judith Viorst
DOGWISE.COM
Jasper's day by Marjorie Parker
ADULTS
AMAZON.COM
Losing your dog by Mickie Gustafson
When only love remains, the pain of pet loss by Emily Margaret Stuparyk
DOGWISE.COM
Coping with sorrow and the loss of your pet by Moira Anderson
Good bye friend, healing wisdom for anyone who has ever lost a pet by Gary Kowalski
A final act of caring by Mary and Herb Montgomery
FAMILY
AMAZON.COM
Pet loss: a thoughtful guide for adults and children by Herbert A. Neidig
THE STAGES OF GRIEF
There are many stages of grief, but not everyone experiences them all or in the same order. You may experience denial, anger, guilt, depression, acceptance and resolution.
Your first reaction may be denial - denial that the animal has died or that death is imminent. Denial may begin when you first learn the seriousness of your animals illness or injuries. Often, the more sudden the death, the more difficult the loss is to accept.
ANGER AND GUILT often follow denial. Your anger may be directed toward people you normally love and respect, including your family and your vetrinarian. People coping with death will often say things that they do not mean to hurt. You may feel guilty or blame others for not recognizing the illness earlier, for not doing something sooner, for not being able to afford other types or further treatment, or for being careless and allowing the animal to become sick or injured.
DEPRESSION is also a part of the range of emotions experienced after the death of a special animal. The tears flow, there are knots in your stomach and you feel drained of all your energy. Day-to-day tasks seem impossible to perform. Sometimes you may even ask yourself if you can go on without the animal. The answer is yes, but there are times when special assistance may be helpful in dealing with your loss.
RESOLVE AND ACCEPT Eventually you can begin to accept your animal's death. Even when you have reached resolution and acceptance, feelings of anger, denial, guilt, and depression may reapear. If this does happen, these feelings will usually be less intense and with time will be replaced with fond memories.
Although the stages of grief apply fairly universally, grieving is always a personal process. Some people take longer to come to terms with denial, anger, guilt and depression and each loss is different.If you understand that these are normal reactions, you will be better prepared to cope with your feelings and to help others face theirs. Family and friends should be reassured that sorrow and grief are normal and natural responses to death.
THEY MAY NOT UNDERSTAND
Sometimes well-meaning family and friends may not realize how important your animal was to you or the intensity of your grief. Comments they make my seem cruel and uncaring. Be honest with yourself and others about how you feel. If despair mounts, talk to someone who will listen to your feelings about your loss of your animal. Talk about your sorrow, but also the fun times you and the animal spent together, the activities you enjoyed and the memories that are meaningful.
THE HURT IS DEEP
If you or a family member have great difficulty in accepting your animal's death and cannot resolve feelings of grief and sorrow, you may want to discuss these feelings with a person who is trained to understand the grieving process. Your veterinarian certainly understands the relationship you have lost and may be able to suggest support groups and help lines, grief counsellors, clergymen, social workers, physicians or psychologists who can help.
SHOULD I GET ANOTHER ANIMAL
The death of an animal can upset you emotionally, especially when euthanasia is involved. Some people may feel they would never want another animal. For others, a new animal may help them recover from their loss more quickly. Just as grief is a personal experience, the decision of when, if ever, to bring home a new animal into your life is a personal one. If a family member is having difficulty accepting the animal's death, getting a new animal before that person has resolved his or her grief may imply that the life of the deceased animal was unworthy of the grief that is still being felt. Family members should agree on the appropriate time to acquire a new animal. Although you can never replace the animal you lost, you can obtain another to share your life.
REMEMBERING YOUR ANIMAL
The period from birth to old age is much shorter for most domesticanimals than for people. Death is part of the life cycle. It cannot be avoided, but understanding and compassion can help you, your family,and your friends manage the grief associated with it. Try to recall and treasure the good times you spent with your animal. You may also wish to establish a memorial of some type or contribute to a charity in honor of your animal.
The bond that we form with animals is unique. The loss of an animal can have an impact on you that is as great or even greater than the loss of a family member or friend. This bond is what makes our interactions with animals rich and rewarding, but also what makes the grief process so complicated.
After your animal has died or been lost, it is natural and normal to feel grief and sorrow. Although grief is an internal and private response, there are certain stages of grief that most people experience. By understanding the process, you will be able to manage your grief and to help other family members and friends who share your sense of loss.
Taken from a brochure that was sent to me from my vet
written by the American Veterinary Medical Association
BOOKS DEALING WITH PET LOSS
CHILDREN
AMAZON.COM
For every dog an angel by Christine Davis
For every cat an angel by Christine Davis
When a pet dies by Fred Rogers
I'll always love you by Cynthia Rylant
The tenth good thing about barney by Judith Viorst
DOGWISE.COM
Jasper's day by Marjorie Parker
ADULTS
AMAZON.COM
Losing your dog by Mickie Gustafson
When only love remains, the pain of pet loss by Emily Margaret Stuparyk
DOGWISE.COM
Coping with sorrow and the loss of your pet by Moira Anderson
Good bye friend, healing wisdom for anyone who has ever lost a pet by Gary Kowalski
A final act of caring by Mary and Herb Montgomery
FAMILY
AMAZON.COM
Pet loss: a thoughtful guide for adults and children by Herbert A. Neidig
