Peg's Place - 2009

[TinysMom]

Darla (mouse) bunny is now officially our bunny - I paid for her at the feed store.

When I told her - she thumped me off and flicked me off as she ran away.

I feel so honored.

Here are pictures from when we "rescued" her on 12/20/2008...so much for fostering her...

 

[Flashy]

Congratulations Doesn't it feel great to fail at fostering Although, to be fair, you did foster her, then take her to be adopted.... an just adopt her yourself.

I hope Billy Sunny is ok

How are you?

 

[TinysMom]

I think I honestly could have taken her back to the feed store if they hadn't had all the cages full when I went to get my food. By the time they had an empty cage - Darla had been jumping out of her pen regularly and had bonded with Gloria even though Juni doesn't like her.

I'm not doing well today - but I don't have the time/energy to sit down and cry. I want to go to bed and just cover myself up with the blankets and pillows and let myself have a bad day.

But I had to get rabbit food....and I had to get groceries...and I wanted to go to the library and get more books and take some books back.

I've not been sleeping well at all for at least the last 3 nights - I've been talking a lot i my sleep and I know its cause there is a LOT on my mind that I'm trying to work through. I think the exhaustion is catching up with me though....

Art goes up to Eric's tomorrow to fix Eric's car so that when he goes before the judge on the 26th for not having his car inspected - the car will be fixed (and inspected too). Eric hit a deer back a while ago and he not only broke the headlight -he broke some other stuff too.

So Art may be gone until Monday also.

Anyway - I'm just having a down time right now. I'm enjoying blogging on my blog - but some disappointing things have happened in the last day or so and I'm just....I don't know - like a turtle wanting to pull their head in and be left alone.

Not that I expect it to happen.

The neat thing is - I used to give into these feelings - now I can live my life around them and learn to deal with them.

So I am getting better...

 

[Flashy]

What do you think might help you to get out the things going on in your mind? Talking about them? Writing about them? Art (the activity, not your hubby )? Anything like that?

Acknowledging the feelings and being able to live with them is really important. Whilst you feel rubbish, you are doing well.

 

[TinysMom]

Flashy - I don't know what is going to help me at this point. Its sort of complicated.

You see - in my dreams - I am talking to a life coach - about the life I want to make for myself. I'm talking through the various things that are bothering me - and I know that I'm tossing and turning each night every time I answer a question - and I'm mumbling part of my answers.

When I finally get to sleep - after about 4 hours of this - I feel somewhat "at peace" as if I've resolved stuff. I sleep fairly well - just not long enough.

There are so many things I'm struggling with - wanting to be a coach - no money for the coaching courses - should I try to be a coach anyway while I'm in training - what coaching program should I go for - can we afford for me to not work for a while while I focus on this - how am I going to do this and continue with what I'm doing in the house - do I even want to work outside the home.

I sit down to write and my head is spinning. I have some posterboard and some foam-backed board to draw things on and do a collage - and I just can't think. Its like everything is in the pea-soup sort of a fog.

I know I'm LOVING writing my non-RO blog....and I'm enjoying some other things in my life.

I've not done well at some of the goals I've established - like sit down and figure out how much we need to live per month and can we do it without me working (I'm scared of the answer).

I'm hoping that with Art gone tomorrow and possibly Monday - I can sit down and write or do up these collages. Mornings - shortly after waking up and having my quiet time - are the times when I am most able to set goals, think through goals, etc. Those tend to be my "life changing" moments in the rhythm of my life.

I know where I want to be in life say ... 5 years from now. I know several paths to get there....but its finding the RIGHT path - for me - at this point in time.

I'm also struggling with some decisions like wanting to apply to TSC for the office job they'll have available when they move here - but feeling like I'd be betraying the local feed store that I love....as if wondering if making money that way would be betraying part of who I am because of my relationship with the feed store and how incredible the owners are.

So much to think about and decide - and I just have so much on my mind...

Anyway - hopefully - this weekend will help.

 

[TinysMom]

I did something strange today - I made myself a collage - just of things that came to my mind and were important to me. Some were things that had made an impression - like Elizabeth George's comment about having "five fat files" that you could speak on or teach on in one of her books about Christian womanhood....and other stuff that has meant things to me. I had copied pictures of my favorite books (the covers) into a Word file so I could cut them up and post them on here...but it didn't feel right.

I drew the "road" near the end...really there was no logical plan to this - just to get stuff "out there" for me to mull over and think about. Some things shocked me - like I did the "No Conflict" circle....but then as I was working on other things - I realized that if I didn't have conflict - I wouldn't grow.

Anyway - y'all get to be bored to tears by the pictures..but that's ok. I need to be able to look at them and think them through and think through what I want to do/be/change, etc.

The collage isn't done yet - I still have to fill in the categories on the life circle and I still need to put some more information on it that is nagging at my brain....I just needed to take a break from it.

So here ya go..

 

[TinysMom]

I came across an old photo of Tiny and Miss Bea that I don't think I ever posted. It is actually one of three that I took when they lived together in our bedroom closet. (When she had her babies (he was NOT the father) - she kicked him out of the closet so she could raise her babies in there...).

By the way - the dress you see hanging is the infamous "Sunday dress" that Tiny "altered" for me....

 

[SOOOSKA]

Peg what a sweet picture. I bet it brings back some very nice memories.

Susan

 

[Bo B Bunny]

Look at them! :hearts:

 

[TinysMom]

I was going through old photos and found this from last year - I wound up pulling it from the contest since Tiny passed away just days before the voting would start and I didn't feel it was fair as he might get "sympathy votes"...

I just had to share it today...

 

[TinysMom]

Two years ago (in the early morning hours) GingerSpice passed away. It seems hard to believe its been two years.

For those who didn't know about GingerSpice - she is the first heart bunny that I lost. Fortunately, when I lost her - I had Tiny and others to keep me busy...even still - I went through a depression that shook me to the core and made me almost non-functional for months. It took Amy (Undergunfire) coming here for a visit - to help me take my head out of my rear and see what I was living like and how I was doing...and it wasn't well at all. Bless his heart - Art didn't know what to do with me - he loved me and so often wanted to "make" me see what I was doing and how I was acting...but he couldn't make me understand. However - seeing my home and my life through Amy's eyes...that is what shook me up and made me start changing.

You see - when GingerSpice was alive - she was disabled for the last few months of her life and I spent hours every day with her - sometimes just having her in her basket on my desk - sometimes hand feeding her - sometimes giving her little "butt baths" to help her not get urine scald, etc.

GingerSpice was very very shy when she was young and she HATED me as she got older. I wasn't a bunny - I was the enemy. She was Tiny's first love and she adored him.

But after she got ill and needed me - we developed a love/hate relationship. SHe loved to pee on me. I hated to leave the room without her because she was another part of me. So she lived in a basket that became "Ginger's Recliner" since she couldn't sit or stand well. I'd put her in her basket the way a bunny should set up - she'd flip herself around to be the way you'll see in the pictures below.

GingerSpice had a spirit of "I want to live" up until the last few days of her life and although her life wasn't "normal" - it was good. Her eyes would light up when I walked into the room and they'd especially light up as I'd go to pick her up because then she had an opportunity to pee on me.

We used to have a running joke - Art would hold her singing, 'Please don't pee on me" and she wouldn't - he'd hand her to me and she'd pee.

Even in her last minute of life - she peed on me one last time - and I swear - from heaven - she was smiling and going, "Gotcha mommy..".

So in memory - and in honor - of the rabbit who taught me that rabbits are people too....I present....

[align=center]GingerSpice

BINKY FREE MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL.....BINKY FREE!

Mama loves you...and she'll see you again someday.
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[SOOOSKA]

Peg, what a Beautiful tribute to a Beautiful Girl.

She was so lucky to have you as a Mama.

Susan:hugsquish:

 

[TinysMom]

I'm just popping in for a couple of minutes to say a quick "hi" and "bye".

Its hard to be on the forum lately - yesterday was officially the first anniversary of Tiny's passing (although Sunday night was hard since he passed on a Sunday night and that was the 52 week mark).

Part of it is - in some areas of my life I'm moving on to other things....working on building my coaching business and setting up the website for it (I titled it "Undivided Heart Life Coaching) and setting up a blog for it....being frustrated at times with things on the forum - whether its people - or even the death of someone's rabbit I might have loved - and just...I don't know. Its hard to explain.

For those who don't know - my mom has had short term memory problems for over a year - but now it is turning into dementia. I am flying home on 2/13 to be with her until 3/4 - BUT - I may stay there for a longer period of time if I feel like she needs me. I think I already have her power of attorney...but she wants me to take over her finances - so I will need to get on her credit cards, her bank accounts, etc. - plus I am working on setting up things like a doctor appointment and an assessment for help to come into her place and help her - stuff like that.

This is very hard - mom pretty much wants to die and has said so many times. She would never kill herself - but she has given up on living a normal life.

So I will not be around for a while - I may try to pop in every once in a while with a bunny picture or whatever.

But when Tiny died - a big part of who I am on the forum (and who I am in life) - died with me - and I'm only now starting to get around to discover who I am without Tiny....and a lot of that means having less time for the forum and more time for other things...

 

[Flashy]

I'll be thinking of you Peg, you and your family, and hoping that you can sort out the things that need sorting.

Here if you need me,

x

 

[TinysMom]

Just have to share - poor Zeus has ear mites in one ear.....sorta deep down in.

For some crazy reason - he thinks that because he lives in the garage he is the big kahuna bunny and has the right to refuse medication and having me check him over.

Bless his heart - once I got Robin on my side helping me hold him on the bed - he stopped kicking and fortunately - he never did scream.

But he's pretty mad at me right now - I tried to give him fruit loops and he picked one up with this teeth and dropped it onto the floor and then looked at me as if to say "there...that shows you...".

Tell me...do you think he'd forgive me if I offered him another banana for the day?

 

[TinysMom]

I so need to share what I just did - for the Valentine's day contest...I just entered these but I want them in my blog too..

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and

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[Bo B Bunny]

OMG That's just adorable! My big boy is all snuggly and sweet with his woman!

 

[TinysMom]

Well - I just HAD to enter Miss Bea in the Valentine's contest....she was so hurt that I didn't enter her (her entry last year had to be pulled because Tiny died).

So here is her entry - she's hoping to get some hits on it too....

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[SOOOSKA]

Peg Miss Bea is Beautiful. Well to be honest all of your Babies are Adorable.

Susan

 

[TinysMom]

SOOOSKA wrote:

Peg Miss Bea is Beautiful. Well to be honest all of your Babies are Adorable.

Susan

Thanks so much Susan - that picture is actually almost 4 years old - here is what I took it from.

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[/align][align=left]She used to sit on the fireplace like that for almost hours at a time...just watching what was going on .... and napping sometimes.
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