On-line pregnancy test (humorous)

[seniorcats]

http://www.thepregnancytester.com/

Ralph Nader is the father of my soon to be born 11 pound boy.... Just a little humor here. Guys,feel free to take the test.

 

[Bassetluv]

LOL! I decided to give it a try, since I'd be clueless to know if I was actually pregnant or not, and...I am! Here's what it said:

diana, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 16 lbs, 16 oz and have blonde hair and green eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

The Baby:

And here's a pic of the father (no kidding! And to think I don't even recall meeting this guy):

The Pool Guy

First of all, I'm impressed with me! And second...dang, that baby would be as big as I am(!)...but hey, who cares. I got The Pool Guy!!!

(hehe...and seniorcats got Ralphie....)

 

[Bunnicula]

...And I got a petite little 6lb 12oz girl...

but her father is...

BILL O'REILLY!!! (I'd consider Ralph Nader a trade-up.)

:tears2:

 

[seniorcats]

Hey are you laughing at my crazy Ralphie?

I ran the test a second time and Jenet Reno is the 'father' of my baby girl..... Anything would be a trade up.

Oh no, I am going from bad to worse. Hee is the father of my latest child. Yep, it's Boss Hogg

 

[timetowaste]

I'm having an 8lb 15oz baby boy and the daddy is Michael Jackson! YIKES.

Tracy

 

[JadeIcing]

It's A Girl!
Alicia, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 6 lbs, 10 oz and have brown hair and blue eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Don't feel bad, you were just wearing a dress and sometimes that's all it takes. It could have happened to anyone.

The Pope

Oh, girl- that is just so wrong on so many levels, we don't even know where to begin. Thanks for bringing down the Catholic Church single-handedly.

The Neighbor Kid

Holy &#%@! You seduced the neighbor's kid, you cradle-robbing hussy! I hope for your sake he's over 18. We sure hope he resembles your husband. . .

I had to have a paternity test. Turned out it was....

Online Pregnancy Test Birth Certificate

 

[JadeIcing]

Well I always wanted more than one. :shock:

It's A Boy!

Alicia, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 13 lbs, 7 oz and have brown hair and green eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Fabio

You little Fabio-stalking vixen! Admit it- the only way this could happen is if you tripped him and beat him to the floor. Congratulations on your cat-like reflexes.

It's A Girl!

Alicia, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 14 lbs, 10 oz and have red hair and hazel eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Bill Clinton

Like thousands of other women of breeding age, you did the Horizontal Bop with Bill. Looks like he really 'felt your pain', along with a few other things.

I had to name her after her godmother... So her middle name is...

 

[Alexah]

IT'S A GIRL!

Lexi, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 13 lbs, 15 oz and have brown hair and blue eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

My babies daddy is who? DICK CHENEY?!

This must have occurred while you were in a coma or otherwise unconscious, like at a frat party. We can't think of any other likely way.

I wanted another one, so...

At first I wasn't pregnant, but luckily those fertility treatments worked and...

IT'S A BOY!

Lexi, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 15 lbs, 11 oz and have blonde hair and gray eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

And my baby's daddy is...The Pope?!

Oh, girl- that is just so wrong on so many levels, we don't even know where to begin. Thanks for bringing down the Catholic Church single-handedly.

You know, it amazes me that both my kids were born on the same day at the same time...with two different daddies! Ha ha! So, to test my theory, I decided to have one more kid. Yeah, I know, I'm a hussy.

IT'S A GIRL!

Lexi, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 8 lbs, 15 oz and have brown hair and blue eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Yeah, yeah, my baby's dad is: The mailman? I was busy for sure!

Uh-oh, your dalliance with the mailman is catching up with you. How are you going to explain this 'Special Delivery' to your hubby?

And, yes, apparantly they're triplets with all different papas. Ha ha! Love it!

 

[JadeIcing]

Alexah wrote:

And my baby's daddy is...The Pope?!

Oh, girl- that is just so wrong on so many levels, we don't even know where to begin. Thanks for bringing down the Catholic Church single-handedly.

That :censored2:he was messing around on me!! I hope Kylie gets the chance to meet her brother Michael Luke.

 

[Phinnsmommy]

Hahaa mines daddy was Michael Jackson!
It was a boy and named "Jayden Even Jackson. He was 7 pounds 9 ounces.

:laugh::laugh:

 

[undergunfire]

It's A Boy! Amy Gregorio, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 12 lbs, 16 oz and have red hair and gray eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!




The daddy is...

The Mailman
Uh-oh, your dalliance with the mailman is catching up with you. How are you going to explain this 'Special Delivery' to your hubby?













AHHH HAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAH!

 

[tundrakatiebean]

Jesse Jackson is the daddy...:shock:

 

[PixieStixxxx]

April, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 7 lbs, 12 oz and have red hair and brown eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Baby Daddy? The Pool Guy

 

[Leaf]

Bunnicula wrote:

BILL O'REILLY!!!

:tears2:

:laugh:I should call his radio show up on Monday and let him know he's a proud Papa! (I'm a huge talk radio fan, despite some of the hosts...)



Ok, I'm off to take my test....

 

[Leaf]

Leaf, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 14 lbs, 10 oz and have black hair and blue eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Online Pregnancy Test: The Daddy Is . . .

Jesse Jackson

Wow, talk about "Family Values". As Jesse would say, "The implications of my impregnations has caused contemplation across the nation!"

 

[kirst3buns]

Online Pregnancy Test: The Daddy Is . . .

PeeWee Herman
Whoah! Give us a moment to get used to the idea of you and Pee Wee Herman in bed, then schedule us for some electro-shock therapy to help erase the mental image.
That is SOOOOO Scary. I'm speechless. Thank goodness you can "Pick another Daddy"!

 

[pamnock]

Wow - weird . . .

Luckily, I am not with child.

The father of my 19 year old daughter's baby girl is the Pope -- that hit a nerve because the marriedpastor of our old church had developed a crush on my daughter and was in the predator "grooming" phase when we realized what was going on.

What are the odds that someone who had been stalked by a priest would have the Pope come up as the father of their imaginary child? Unfortunately, these sexual predators are very common and use their positions to gain trust. Sexual predators of children are most often someone the family knows.

Sorry to hijack the thread - if anyone has questions or concerns about the grooming process of sexual predators and your child, please feel free to contact me [email protected] . Not only have I had personal experience, I've also taken an advanced child protection course.

Pam

 

[Bunnicula]

pamnock wrote:

Wow - weird . . .

Luckily, I am not with child.

The father of my 19 year old daughter's baby girl is the Pope -- that hit a nerve because the marriedpastor of our old church had developed a crush on my daughter and was in the predator "grooming" phase when we realized what was going on.

What are the odds that someone who had been stalked by a priest would have the Pope come up as the father of their imaginary child? Unfortunately, these sexual predators are very common and use their positions to gain trust. Sexual predators of children are most often someone the family knows.

Sorry to hijack the thread - if anyone has questions or concerns about the grooming process of sexual predators and your child, please feel free to contact me [email protected] . Not only have I had personal experience, I've also taken an advanced child protection course.

Pam

Uh...wow...sorry she (and your family) had to endure that. Scary stuff. I would be interested in hearing more about the situation. Working in a school, and being trained to serve on the student assistance team (helping at-risk and troubled students) I always have my antenna up forsigns of trouble... I may just email you and ask some questions, if you don't mind.

On a lighter note:

I found it kinda funny that the Pope pictured as the daddy, however, is JPII. Would impregnating women post-mortem be considered a miracle and possibly gain him saint status?

 

[MsBinky]

It's A Girl!
Ms Binky, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 14 lbs, 16 oz and have brown hair and blue eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!





Fabio

You little Fabio-stalking vixen! Admit it- the only way this could happen is if you tripped him and beat him to the floor. Congratulations on your cat-like reflexes.

 

[Bunnicula]

MsBinky wrote:

It's A Girl!
Ms Binky, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby girl, and just look- isn't she just so darn cute! Based on our remote test results, your beautiful baby girl will weigh about 14 lbs, 16 oz

Sheesh! Hope you had a c-section. My baby's daddy may not be my #1 (or even #100) choice...but 14 lbs!!!!! Egads!