Oliver....I miss you so much, R.I.P

[Pandaboy]

My very young, mini lop, Oliver passed this morning...

:rip:

He was diagnosed with snuffles, and was even showing signs of getting better the first day(yesterday) of antiboitics.... Since I got him, on July 2nd, I've been with him, 24/7....Making sure he was eating and drinking right, giving him medicine........I even set up a space on my bed with his food and water so he could sleep with me, and he did, he would hop over to me and cuddle right next to me at night (i've never had a bunny do that before)

Well...last night he was sleeping with me as usual, but I randomly woke up (which I have been doing every hour or so, subconciously when Olivers sleeping with me, just to check on him)

I woke up to Oliver happily bouncing around my room on the floor at 2:45 in the morning (yes I remember what time.) I was really happy because he hadn't been moving much since I got him, and he must've been feeling better. So I picked him up and we were laying on my bed for like 10 minutes, I was telling him how much I loved him and that he was the coolest bunny ever and that I was so glad he was getting better....:nerves1

So I decided that I couldn't fall asleep with him because I didn't want him getting into anything on my floor since he was feeling up to it now.
So I put him in his cage (which was sorta hard to do...because I haven't put him in there since like the first day I got him) So he started eating and I was petting him, I kissed him and then I went to bed, But I remember that I turned the lights back on seconds after I just turned them off just to say goodnight to him, again..........:cry2

I woke up at 7, looking at the clock and immediatly thinking "Oliver gets his medicine in 2 hours!"

I looked over, and little Oliver was sleeping in a funny position, his front legs were sprawled out of the cages bars and his head was tilted back, his eyes were closed and his back legs were spread out to....I laughed a little thinking that it was a funny way to sleep (I have caught him sleeping weird before)
So I picked him up and his head stayed cocked back the way it was! I practically screamed because I knew something was very wrong!!! So I layed him on his side gently and he squeled........
:bigtears:

And then he just...sorta stopped breathing.......I have no idea what happened.....or how it killed him.....

but I should've let him sleep with me!!!! That probably wouldn't have happened!!!
I hate myself for it......

He was the best bunny I ever had or even met.

R.I.P Oliver...

 

[Pandaboy]

This poem really, really reminds me of Oliver

Invisible Bun
Author Unknown


[align=center]
Wake up Mum, wake up quick!
I have to stop your nightmares or you'll get sick.
I'm still here Mum I've not gone
Instead I'm just in spirit; I'm now an invisible bun.
Don't cry Mum
I can't bare to see you sad,
You were my best friend
The best a bunny could have.

When you sleep in the night
I'm lying by your side
I listen to your heartbeat
And I nuzzle you with pride.
Sometimes I bring my bunny friends
Just to let them see
The one who was my Mum
The special one to me.

In the morning when you wake Mum
I miss your lovely smile,
You can still wave
You see, I can still see you, although you can't see me?

I follow you around
I'm the shadow in the corner of your eye,
I'm still your little bunny
Invisible
And I will never die.[/align]

 

[bunbunbinkie]

Oh No! How absolutely awful! I am so so very sorry Panda. My heart aches for you.

However difficult his passing is, do not blame yourself. I know we all do it, but you did nothing wrong. You took excellent care of him. I did the same thing when my Olie passed away...kept thinking if only I had done something different, maybe I'd still have him. Bunnies are sooo fragile, and they hide sickness so well.

Sweet baby Oliver, binkie in peace.ink iris:

 

[pla725]

Sorry for your loss. I agree don't beat yourself up over this. You did the best you could for him.

 

[Pandaboy]

Thanks for your support bunbunbinkie....

I just can't believe he's gone! I keep getting my tears under control, then I see something that reminds me of him, for example...there is a little bed I made for him on the desk next to the computer so he could still be next to me and rest when I got on the computer....and I still don't want to move it yet

I have this little stuffed toy dog, that I gave to Oliver, he would clean it and sleep with it, and we made a game, where I would pull it around my bed and Oliver would chase it, and when he got it, he immediatly started cleaning its floppy toy ears..... And its just about the size of Oliver, maybe bigger...and it smells just like him (Oliver smelled like baby powder, for some odd reason) and when I hold the toy dog, it feels like I'm holding him again. :cry4:

When we took Oliver to the vet yesterday, he only weighed 13 ounces!!! He was younger then I thought, I saved him from a dreaded petshop.....The story is in the Bunny infirmery, labeled as "Mini lop with runny nose"

Maybe our Olivers are hopping and binkying together in bunny heaven :bunnyheart

 

[Carolyn]

God Bless Your Heart, PandaBoy.

With that kind of pure love, don't you dare blame yourself, especially of bringing him on the bed. I can't imagine how that would've impacted his death whatsoever.

Considering it took him that fast,there was nothing more you could've done to help him. You did everything you could've, so please - stop beating yourself up. You need to be kind to yourself - just as you would your best friend - not make it harder on yourself than it is right now.

He's absolutely beautiful. I'm so very sorry he hadsuch a short time with you, but I'mhappy for him that hefelt your love and returned it.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[Pandaboy]

thanks pla725

I'm trying....:?

 

[Pandaboy]

Thanks Carolyn, it really helps and means alot

 

[Carolyn]

You really didn't do anything wrong, Pandaboy. Truly.

I think bringing him on the bed with you was the most loving thing one could do. That didn't kill him...his immune system just couldn't stand up to the Pasteurella it sounds like.

From you, he experienced a home, comfort, love, playfulness, joy, and peace. As you said, you saved him from being in a petshop and not having you and all that you brought to his short visit on earth.

For the life of me, I wish things like this would never happen to people like you who give their all for their babies. Please, Oliver wouldn't want you to hate yourself or think that you gave him anything short of The Best. He had everything with you, he was just too sick. You were there right til the end. He didn't die alone.

You're a brave and loving woman. You didn't do anything neglectful or wrong.

 

[Carolyn]

Another great poem is this one.



[align=center]Togetherness[/align]
[align=center]Author Unknown [/align]

Do not stand at my grave and weep. I'm not there, I do not sleep. I'm a thousand winds that blow. I'm the diamond glint on snow.
I'm sunlight on ripened grain. I'm the gentle rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush, I'm the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight. I'm the soft stars that shine in the night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry. I'm not there. I did not die.

​

 

[Pandaboy]

Well Carolyn,
I'm just so confused to how he died, the way he was laying when I found him in his cage, was just strange. I was thinking........maybe he fell asleep like that and maybe it damaged his spine, because I didn't write this, but before I picked him up, he was twitching a little, but I heard that bunnies have dreams where they move and twitch in there sleep..... I keep thinking that it was the way he was laying that killed him, not the snuffles.....maybe when I moved him, it hurt him more, because even when I layed him down, his head was still strangely cocked back......what could've possible happened to him?....

Thats why I think, maybe if I let him sleep on the bed with me for the rest of the night, maybe he wouldn't have fell asleep so strange..........



Carolyn wrote:

You really didn't do anything wrong, Pandaboy. Truly.

I think bringing him on the bed with you was the most loving thing one could do. That didn't kill him...his immune system just couldn't stand up to the Pasteurella it sounds like.

From you, he experienced a home, comfort, love, playfulness, joy, and peace. As you said, you saved him from being in a petshop and not having you and all that you brought to his short visit on earth.

For the life of me, I wish things like this would never happen to people like you who give their all for their babies. Please, Oliver wouldn't want you to hate yourself or think that you gave him anything short of The Best. He had everything with you, he was just too sick. You were there right til the end. He didn't die alone.

You're a brave and loving woman. You didn't do anything neglectful or wrong.

 

[FallingStar]

Carolyn wrote:

Another great poem is this one.




[align=center]Togetherness[/align]

[align=center]Author Unknown [/align]

Do not stand at my grave and weep. I'm not there, I do not sleep. I'm a thousand winds that blow. I'm the diamond glint on snow.
I'm sunlight on ripened grain. I'm the gentle rain.
When you awaken in the morning hush, I'm the swift uplifting rush.
Of quiet birds in circled flight. I'm the soft stars that shine in the night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry. I'm not there. I did not die.

​

That is the same poem that I read when my Grandma died. But I love this poem, I know it by heart.



I'm so sorry about Oliver. He was was such a handsome boy. :tears2:

Binky Free Oliver. ink iris:

 

[Carolyn]

Nope, I still don't think you had anything to do with his passing. His twitching could've been anything - a stroke, a seizure,his system might not have had time to fully develop, or just simply a twitch which meant nothing at all. He could've binkied the wrong way and tweaked his back or neckorinjured himself - it's hard to say.

One thing Ifeel very strongly aboutis that youdid not cause his death.

It's hard to say exactly what he did pass on from. What you did and how he was acting exhibit no signs of you putting him in any sort of danger whatsoever. You put him in the cage so that he'd be safe.

It could have been that he had a genetic disorder.I understand completely you wanting to find a reason why he passed, but unfortunately short of doing a neocropsy, you won't know. With all that you gave him in the short time you had him, he had a fuller life than most.

I totally get the could've, should've, would'ves. We all have them, but you are being unnecessarily cruel to a very sweet, loving person - yourself. Please don't do this to yourself. It wasn't your fault. Oliver wouldn't want anyone to treat you like this - especially you. He accomplished what he came to this earth to do. He is lucky to have had you in his life. Very Lucky!

 

[tonyshuman]

I'm so sorry! Oliver sounds like such a sweet bunny. You are a wonderful person for rescuing him from that pet shop, and I'm sorry he couldn't spend more time with you. I'm sure you did your very best to help him, he was just beyond your care. Binky free, sweet bunny. You were too good for this world.

:rainbow::bunnydance:

 

[Pandaboy]

Thanks everyone for your support. It really has made me realize a lot.
One thing is something that Carolyn helped me realize, that atleast he spent the last days of his life as loved and happy as he could....instead of being alone in a petshop....thanks Carolyn

 

[Carolyn]

Be gentle with yourself, Dear Heart. Know that you did everything you possibly could and you gave him a quality of life thathe never would've had had you not found him. He was lucky and grateful, I'm sure, to have such a loving mom.

It's amazing how quickly we get attached. I couldn't believe how badly it hurt and how deep it cut me when I had a rabbit named Skip-Boy for the same amount of time you had Oliver.

Give Lulu and Pandaboy big hugs. They'll take your tears for you. Oliver will now watch over all of you and help you in ways he couldn't when he was in his physical body.

God bless your broken heart. I know the pain of the severing. I'm so very sorry. You will remain in my thoughts and prayers, and please remember all the gifts that you gave him.

 

[drunkenbunnyhugger]

Im so sorry for your loss. Oliver was a lovely boy.