No bond with bun after 4 years

[Sassybuns]

I have had my oldest bunny about 4 years now and we still have not bonded. I understand bunnies are not cuddly and don’t like to be held and such but she won’t even come out of her enclosure if I’m in sight. I love her to pieces but she makes my life that much harder. I cannot get near her without her thumping and running away. I cannot pet her without her panicking. I don’t know what has caused this, but it is very very discouraging when you have spent the last 4 years trying to bond with a animal you have spent hundreds of dollars on to just be scared of you. And to make matters worse she is a lion head, which means she needs lots of brushing, but I cannot even get near her without her bolting away, and I don’t want to stress her by forcing her to sit still. She has extreme matting on her behind where the fluff is and in her mane. I am most likely going to schedule a vet appointment or find a groomer to help get rid of the mats. ( I also cannot clip her nails ) I’ve tried everything from laying on the floor for hours while she’s out and even locking her in a room with me. I’m starting to think this is a lost cause ( 4 years is a very long time to have a bunny that is not bonded to you.

 

[Sharda Hartley]

It sounds like, since your rabbit is a lionhead and requires a lot of maintenance, that they are associating you and being touched by you with stress. The mats and nails are also likely causing pain. Long nails tend to lead to broken toes (very common even if you're on top on nail maintenance don't feel too bad) and matted fur makes the skin underneath very sensitive, to the point of it being painful to touch. Talk to your vet or a local groomer about your maintenance options.

Once your rabbit is neat and trimmed, start creating some positive associations with yourself and food. Try sitting with her like you've already done, with treats out near you, but completely ignore her. Pop in some headphones and watch movies, listen to a podcast or audiobook. Absolutely do not look at her or reach for her. Let her explore and come to you. Remember, predator species have front facing eyes, and prey have side facing eyes. So looking directly at your rabbit can activate an instinctual fear. Try looking at her with your head turned to the side or down. Remember that just like you've spent the last 4 years feeling dejected, she's spent them in fear. It will take some time to turn that narrative on its head.

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck!

 

[JBun]

What is her set up like, how much time do you spend interacting with her each day, and what exactly does that entail? 4 years is plenty of time for a rabbit to get to know and trust someone, so there may be a problem with her set up that is causing an issue, or the type of interaction you are trying to have with her. Another possibility are health issues that can affect a rabbits ability to interact such as hearing or vision problems, or neurological problems.

 

[Popsicles]

I’d also like to know the answers to the questions jbun asked, and is she spayed?

 

[Zelda&Linky]

Oh dear, poor you, 4 years sounds really long, Really hope you can still make it with your bun! You say it’s your oldest rabbit, so I understand you have a bond with the other bunnies?
I feel your pain, I have similar issue with the younger bunny, Link, sibling of Zelda. Both are spayed and well bonded, but they are like night and day. Zelda is the most sociable and confident creature on earth, fearless and full of ideas. She has a strong bond with me and my fiancé. Linky, on the other hand, is scared of his own shadow, won’t take any risks, seems to live in constant fear and stress. He doesn’t like human touch much, but he loved pets for the first 2 moths we had him before we bonded him with Zelda. After 9 months of being gentle with him, letting him come over to me first, not pushing things, etc, this week I decided I will push his boundaries myself. So every evening I pick him up (he hates being picked up, while Zelda doesn’t mind) and take him for 20-minute petting sessions. And guess what- he manages to relax, I get two licks on my hand/thigh, and after a while of petting he begins to enjoy it (“purring” teeth) and even falls asleep for a couple minutes. Immediately after that, he’s less scared of me. On the next day all goes back to normal unfortunately, but I’m hoping this method will work.
I already managed to push him out of his comfort zone for two other things, so I think I need to do the job for him, or he’ll never take any risks himself.

How many other bunnies do you have? Are they all bonded?

 

[Sassybuns]

What is her set up like, how much time do you spend interacting with her each day, and what exactly does that entail? 4 years is plenty of time for a rabbit to get to know and trust someone, so there may be a problem with her set up that is causing an issue, or the type of interaction you are trying to have with her. Another possibility are health issues that can affect a rabbits ability to interact such as hearing or vision problems, or neurological problems.

She is living in a very large dog kennel. I also plan on setting up a vet appointment for her hair and nails so I’ll make sure I ask her to get checked for hearing or vision problems. I let the buns out for about 4-8 hours a day and lay on the floor with them when I can.

 

[Sassybuns]

I’d also like to know the answers to the questions jbun asked, and is she spayed?

Yes she is spayed

 

[Sassybuns]

It sounds like, since your rabbit is a lionhead and requires a lot of maintenance, that they are associating you and being touched by you with stress. The mats and nails are also likely causing pain. Long nails tend to lead to broken toes (very common even if you're on top on nail maintenance don't feel too bad) and matted fur makes the skin underneath very sensitive, to the point of it being painful to touch. Talk to your vet or a local groomer about your maintenance options.

Once your rabbit is neat and trimmed, start creating some positive associations with yourself and food. Try sitting with her like you've already done, with treats out near you, but completely ignore her. Pop in some headphones and watch movies, listen to a podcast or audiobook. Absolutely do not look at her or reach for her. Let her explore and come to you. Remember, predator species have front facing eyes, and prey have side facing eyes. So looking directly at your rabbit can activate an instinctual fear. Try looking at her with your head turned to the side or down. Remember that just like you've spent the last 4 years feeling dejected, she's spent them in fear. It will take some time to turn that narrative on its head.

Hope this helps a bit. Good luck!

Thank you for your reply! And I will most definitely try what you said after I get he groomed

 

[Sassybuns]

Oh dear, poor you, 4 years sounds really long, Really hope you can still make it with your bun! You say it’s your oldest rabbit, so I understand you have a bond with the other bunnies?
I feel your pain, I have similar issue with the younger bunny, Link, sibling of Zelda. Both are spayed and well bonded, but they are like night and day. Zelda is the most sociable and confident creature on earth, fearless and full of ideas. She has a strong bond with me and my fiancé. Linky, on the other hand, is scared of his own shadow, won’t take any risks, seems to live in constant fear and stress. He doesn’t like human touch much, but he loved pets for the first 2 moths we had him before we bonded him with Zelda. After 9 months of being gentle with him, letting him come over to me first, not pushing things, etc, this week I decided I will push his boundaries myself. So every evening I pick him up (he hates being picked up, while Zelda doesn’t mind) and take him for 20-minute petting sessions. And guess what- he manages to relax, I get two licks on my hand/thigh, and after a while of petting he begins to enjoy it (“purring” teeth) and even falls asleep for a couple minutes. Immediately after that, he’s less scared of me. On the next day all goes back to normal unfortunately, but I’m hoping this method will work.
I already managed to push him out of his comfort zone for two other things, so I think I need to do the job for him, or he’ll never take any risks himself.

How many other bunnies do you have? Are they all bonded?

I have one other bunny and his name is Benjamin, he is the most social and risk taking bunny I have ever seen. They are both bonded and have been for about 2 years

 

[Zelda&Linky]

Oh wow, that sounds so much like Zelda!

I am not sure my case would be of any help to you. Your buns were bonded 2 years, so I understand you had the other bun (by himself?) for 2 years prior to that?

In my case it seems to be a result of bonding (Linky seems often to be intimidated by Zelda).
Small update since yesterday: I took Linky out and spent over 2h only with him, in a different room. I never did this since they bonded last autumn. Anyway, after a fearful 10 minutes on my lap, Linky relaxed. Another 20 minutes, and he started to communicate with me - looking at me, liking me, nose bumping my hand when I stopped petting (I was working on my computer art this time). When I put him on the ground (so he could use the potty I brought up and have some treats and water), he started making noises to get my attention and wanted pets. I took him back on my lap and he wanted more attention (I got a bite and little scratching - that of course is a no!no! ) . This morning, he wasn’t scared of me, left the cage at feeding time to poke my leg. This shows me I’ll need to continue to spend some quality time with Linky only in the future, as this already seems to be helping!

Anyway, I every bun is different!

I think it is a good idea to take your bun for a check up with the vet to eliminate any health issues that could impact your bun’s behavior.

Good luck with finding your bond!