Needing to vent.....

[nangobi]

I mentioned once before that my hubby and I runa computer shop.As a woman in a predominantly maleindustry (even now), Iget to hear a lot of sexist commentseach day but I think I retain a remarkable sense of humour all thingsconsidered (I've learnt lots of quips to throw back), but this week oneof those comments really took the biscuit and I lost my sense of humourfor a while.

A couple had recently brought in their ancient computer for us torepair and we told them that although it was possible to do, theyshouldn't waste their money as the machine was far too old to be ofmuch use to them even with the repair.They were grateful andsaid they'd purchase a machine from us nearer Xmas and they've beenintwice since then.

Well, in they walk this week with a 2nd hand (and very old) laptop theybought from a relative. Conversation goes something likethis....

MAN: "Is one of the men here cos we bought this from a relative and Iwant someone totell us if it's any good?" (What a cheek!We're a business, not a charity! Anyway...)

ME: "Well, the men are busy but I'm sure I canhelpyou.The hard drive is on it's wayout, that's what that noise is and the message on the screen says thatdrive C has a problem. It's going to costaboutxxx£'s to put right"

MAN: "Is that man here, the dark one? (My husband is black) Can you get him for me?"

ME: "No, I'm afraid I can't bring the man out, he's going to tell you the same as me".

MAN: "You say it's not worth the £50 we paid then?" And he's lookingover my shoulder trying to see one of the men the whole time)

ME: "I'm saying that it has a faulty part that's going to cost more tofix by the time you buy Windows than you paid for the whole machine".I now politely and in a friendly way comment how they've had allthis free advice for something they didn't even purchase from us but hemisses the point completely and delivers the following, insultingline....

MAN:"Look love, where's the man, I'd like him to lookat it cos, you know, I need someone with a bit of sense totell me about it"

I walked away and ignored them, the customers (most of whom wereregulars) couldn't believe I'd been so calm (I have a reputation forbeing frank). He told the wife to pick upthecomputer and they'd go 'up the other shop to see if they could get abetter answer there'.

It took me all evening to calm down. but I can laugh about it again now, just!

Ok, I feel better now..... til next time anyway!

Amanda

 

[aurora369]

Oh man! That really sucks.

I'm studying in a male dominated field, Engineering. I haveto put up with alot of jokes, but in general the male students arepretty respectful and make more fun of the men than the women.

I find that some people won't take me seriously because I'm young,female, and I could pass for a 14 year old on a good day (I'm only 5feet tall).

Mainly for me it's sales or service people who don't take meseriously. Someone will talk dumb to me about cars (which Ihappen to be pretty knowledgable in), or try to give me a bad dealbecause they think I won't ask for something better.

I'm just glad my mom raised me to be knowledgable and stand up formyself. It's come in handy a few times, although there stillis the odd time I wish my mom could take care of a situation for me.

--Dawn

 

[nangobi]

Hi Dawn

Really gets to you sometimes, doesn't it?

One of the most common situations is that someone comes in the shop orrings and asks for the owner. I say "Yes, how can I help" andthey say, "No, I said I wanted to speak to the owner".

That's apart from the bloke who said he wanted to speak to the organgrinder, not the monkey. Not sure you have that phrase in Canada though!

Mind you, it's not always a man.... a couple of weeks ago a girl comesin from the college and starts telling me a pile of rubbish includinghow one of the batteries on the motherboard has blown and isleaking. (There are no batteries on a motherboard, they'recapacitors) "Oh, I'm sorry" she says in her best patronising tone "Doyou know anything about computers?"

Amanda

 

[pinksalamander]

nangobi wrote:

"Oh, I'm sorry" she says in her best patronisingtone "Do you know anything about computers?"

!!! I have to admit i don't think i could ever have the patience to owna shop. My mum always wanted to start a pet store but i said we wouldnever get enough business cos i'd be telling people all the time "okyou need to buy this huge cage and this special food!". I said that i'dhave to make sure we didn't stock anything that wasn't suitable, and somost people would probably just go to another one where they stockedeverything!

I have a terrible temper.

 

[nangobi]

Ha! Ha! I'm always saying I shouldnever have started this business - I was such a polite and diplomaticperson once - but now I find it so hard to keep my comments tomyself.

If someone has boughta machine that I consider a rip off - Itell them! HOWEVER, customers tell us that they come to usbecause we are so honest with them. We tellthem the truth - one guy said that at first he was a bit shocked thatwe'd refused to sell him something as we didn't think he was buying theright thing, but when he got home his wife asked him what possiblemotive a shop could have in NOT selling him something and now he sendsall his friends and relatives to us!

A lot of people don't like a lot of 'flannel' as my Mum would put it -I know I can't stand sales people giving me all their clichesinstead of just telling me the facts without the frills - so maybe youSHOULD open that shop!

 

[missyscove]

I totally understand what you mean.

For example, I am an altar server at my chruch, one of thebest. Some diocese only allow boys, but ours allowsboth. There aren't all that many girls interested in itanymore though, which is sad. Anyway, one day me and myfriend who is also an excellent server were waiting to serve mass andthere was a visiting priest. He said, "Where are the altarboys, I was told there were altar boys." The sacristansomehow told him that was us, and he said, "but they aren'tboys." When the truth is we were two of the best servers inthe program.

I'm just glad that I go to a school like the all-girls school I go towhere we are constantly told that we are just as good as anyone else,and we can do whatever we want to do with our lives.

 

[nangobi]

I'm always telling my daughter, age 7, thatshe's got just as many rights as a man - that she can be anything atall - and I often tell her the daft things thathave been saidin the shopand it must be working - this week she wants tobe.... a rock star, a magazine editor andshe wants to run acharity to help all orphans in the world have food and shelter, andshe's going to 'get all the governments in the world together and talkthem into not killing each other all the time' - she usually says she'sgoing to be rich, famous and powerful!

Just wish I'd had her confidence when I was her age - or come to thinkof it, at any time in my 38 years! Hopefullytheworld she's growing up in will have lost a lot more of its prejudice bythe time she finds her profession. Watch this space, cosanyone who knows her will tell you that she's goingto hit theworld like a hurricane. That's my girl!

Amanda

 

[missyscove]

I have guy friends and such who are like,"whimpy girls school" but I'm always like, umm, step foot on campus andwe'll kick your butt if we put our mind to it. They evenoffer self defense classes for PE, sadly it wouldn't fit into myschedule.

Of course, when it comes to the weather we might be a bitwhimpy. But seriously, you try going from 90 F one week to40F the next, along with a lot of winds, and, oh yeah, wearing askirt. That's fun.

 

[Boudicca]

Wow.

I guess I'd forgotten how bad it can be out there. I'm anengineer too (hey aurora!), but when I goto aconstructionsite I'm generally the one in charge, so I gettreated pretty politely (at least to my face!). Ioccasionally get a "dear" but it's usually from the older guys, whohave probably forgotten my name. Once it a while I get a"sweetie" or "honey", but one reply with "yes, schnoockums?" usuallygets my point across.

Contractors are always trying to argue this or that isn't necessary,but it's not personal, they'd do it with any engineer, especially ayoung one. I remind them I'm the one who has to sign off onthe design, and if they want to take full liability for the project I'mhappy to go get myself a coffee and head back to the office, but theymight want tocheck with their client first.

I really think I have an easier time on site than a guy my age, becausethe contractors and other people don't see me as a threat and don'tfeel competitive with me. I also make a point of respectingtheir knowledge in their area. The only ones who give megrief are the lowest grunts, generally young (17-20) and I sometimeshave to babysit them to make sure they're doing it right. Idon't hesitate to tell them (or their supervisor) that, either, ifthey're giving me a hassle.

I find a sense of humour goes a really long way. If a guysees me for the first time and says "You're a girl!!". Igenerally look down, give myself the once over, and reply with either"OMG when did THAT happen" or "Yup, last I checked".

I guess I'm pretty lucky that I don't have to deal with out and outdisrespect very often - I don't have much patience for it. Idon't think I could be in sales, either - then I'd HAVE to be nice topeople.

-Julia

 

[nangobi]

I could never work in sales for someone else - as it's my shop I'm much more able to give my opinion.

Whilst in the bank a couple of months a go I overhead a horribly, rudeman giving a cashier a lot of grief. She was "Yes, Sir", "NoSir" the whole time. I knew this man, he'd doneexactlythe same thing to me in our shop a few weeks earlierand I'd told him then that if he was going to be rude he could leaveand take his business elsewhere - at which point he demanded to see theowner.When I pointed out that I was theowner, he didn't believe me and said "No, I want to see the owner, theman".Oh, how I laughed.

I agree wholeheartedly that a sense of humour goes a long way in thesesituations. It would be so easy to carry around a chip on myshoulder - I just find that now and again a situation will get to me abit.

Cheers, Amanda