Need some advice.

[Ana_The_Dreamer]

I wasn't sure which forum section this belonged in: so I just decided to put it in the "Off Topic" section.

Okay where do I begin.
I guess I should give a little personal background so this whole ordeal makes a slight amount of sense.
I am a 24/7 caretaker to my chronically ill mother. She has a rare neurological disease called, "Hemiplegic Migraines" (Causes horrible migraines, seizures, and paralysis. Etc. She has about a dozen seizures a day. No cure for it.). So that's a LOT of stress on me. It also takes up most of my time. Balancing school and my responsibility to take care of her is tough. (I would add in social life; but let's be honest here. I don't have one.)
I myself have bad clinical depression and anxiety disorders so I guess everything ties in with each other and makes a giant mess. Fun, right?
Ok, so now that I've covered that slightly; now onto my issue I need advice on.

Nessa is the furry love of my life; I adore that bunny. I've found it so hard to deal with her lately. She's moody, aggressive, and frankly she's a mean little rabbit. I was bit by her 3 times today.
She's also so messy it's unbelievable. I have to clean her cage 3 times a day. She refuses litter-box training now. It's starting to frustrate me to the extreme. She won't cuddle anymore, won't even let me pet her. She just growls and pees on everything; nipping my hands if I get too close. Smells up my house, chews up everything in sight, dumps pellets all over my room, etc etc etc.

I know the answer to all of this is the same answer I've gotten a million times, "Get her fixed." But that just ain't happenin'. I can't afford it. Medical bills, regular bills, family financial issues = no "snip snip" for Nessa.
Every time I start to save money a new issue pops up and I have to drain my savings. So in short: I can't get her spayed anytime soon. I really really wish I could, but I can't. I feel so irresponsible even saying that.
Honestly, I feel like an irresponsible bunny owner in general. I can't afford to get her spayed. I try my hardest to entertain her and let her run around: get exercise, have fun toys, be stimulated so she's not bored out of her mind. She doesn't seem to care. She still remains grumpy. But I feel like I'm not giving her the care and attention I should. 95% of the time, I'm only angry at her. I know she can't help the way she is, she's just a rabbit. So I feel the blame has to shift to me, that I must be doing something wrong. I want to enjoy my time with Nessa, not spend it all fretting and being frustrated.

I'm just really frustrated with her constant bad behavior and the fact that she's more of a handful than my two human brothers (Who I also care for alongside my mother.). I don't know what else to do with her. It stresses me out probably more than it should, the way she is acting. A badly behaved animal is not another problem I need on my plate at the moment.
I'm not sure why I'm even posting this. Probably 'cause I just need some help or encouragement. In no way am I giving Nessa up. I made a commitment when I adopted her and I refuse to have her end up being one of those poor rabbits who's owner just stopped caring about them. I need to figure out a better solution to her horrible attitude other than spending the minimum of $250 on her spay. There has to be other solutions, right?

I hope I don't sound immature or irresponsible by saying all of this. That's the last thing I want to come across as. And if I am, I guess I deserve for someone to tell me I am. I just want what's best for Nessa.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

 

[Channahs]

Ana - first bless you for all that you've committed to! My hubs went through something similar with his dad. He was caretaker and had to actually protect his dad from his step mom who had her own elderly issues.

Next, yes, Nessa needs to be fixed.

If you can't afford this, there are possible avenues to help you. Consider gofundme.com. Tell your story. There are people in this world that still have hearts. Even at a dollar or 10 at a time, you can eventually get there. I see people post for ridiculous reasons and people are willing to help. I myself would donate to help you reach the funds you need to spay Nessa. Here in Arkansas it cost about $140 to spay with my bun savvy vet. You can do this.

 

[whiskylollipop]

I'm sorry you have so much on your plate, I can't imagine how tough that would be. You are not being irresponsible at all, you're doing the best you can with what you have, and I have so much respect for you.

Here in New Zealand there are independent rescues that occasionally help with the expenses to spay/neuter the pets of people in need. There must be some in North Carolina? Try searching on facebook. Alternatively, I'd also try contacting nearby shelters (especially rabbit/guinea pig rescues) to see if they would help. Considering the health risks posed to an unspayed doe, they might do. Contacting a rabbit vet to see if they would accept payment in installments might also bring up some reasonable avenues. Vets that are associated with rescues are often very kind about this sort of thing.

I know how it feels to have to put your bunny at the bottom of the priority list because it would feel irresponsible to spend on her when there are humans who need spending on, but do consider that fixing Nessa is for everyone's health and sanity as well. You would feel so much better, have more time for your family and school, and have a pleasant pee-stink-free house and your sweet supportive friend back, when she is spayed. Never discount the importance of an animal's love - I too suffer from depression and anxiety, and when I built a real bond with Merlin and Rosebun after they settled into their neutered, adult selves, it filled an empty hole of staticky stress that I wasn't even aware I'd been living with before. They turned from being just another stinky, destructive responsibility to my two furry, calming snugbuddies. I'm sure your brothers and mum would benefit from having a less stressed-out Ana as well.

Merlin and Sasha are now living in some tiny quarters (not ideal, but will have to do for now) and between the two of them and even Merlin being a messy bugger, their cage only needs changing once a week, and they barely chew stuff or toilet anywhere outside of the litterbox. They are so easy to care for! I think you could really use the time and freedom a fixed bunny will afford you. $250 now, maybe even less with a rescue's help, or $20 a week in lay-by payments to an understanding vet, and you'll have the next 10 years of happy low-maintenance Nessa. Very worth it!

 

[whatever4andnomore]

I do not have any other advice other than what has been posted, but just know you are not irresponsible. you are overwhelmed! An irresponsible person would not take the time to post their concerns. I would definately do what is suggested and see if you can get some help from a rescue.

 

[SimplyBritt]

I can not imagine what you are going through. I have had a tough life but my hat is off to you! What you are doing is a very brave and admirable thing to do and to add two brothers and a rabbit on top of that. I wish i had something to add but honestly I don't other than find a rescue that can help. Originally it was going to cost me over 700 to get both of mine fixed but I found a rescue that will do both for 60! I know that 60 can still be a lot but at least it's better than 250. Try being patient with your bunny (I know that's hard when an animal is being moody and grumpy) you seem like you are doing a fantastic job with everything. Just know that it takes a special kind of person to do what you are doing. Good luck with everything.

 

[ladysown]

options
1. breed her. (might solve all problems right there). Sell the babies, spay your doe. problem done.

2. manage her behaviours.. that means DON't let her nip at you or do bad behaviours rabbits can be and should be trained...even hormonally acting out ones. give her a safe area to call her own (a cage, a kennel a closet a porch). let it be hers. DON"T go in there.. her area NOT yours. then you have a shared area. and if she doesn't behave she goes back into HER area .

3. learn bunny language.. visit the lagomorph site in learning to talk bunny.

4 . look into options for getting help with her. There are places that help those with genuine needs... maybe it's a project your brothers could help with?

and do yourself a favour.. STOP thinking of your bunny as being mean. she's creature acting out needs. she's not against you... she's just saying HEY!! I want a man!!!!! (you gotta understand that).

 

[Sugarbread]

Just wanna say good luck with her, I'd see if you can do payment plans on getting her spayed, it shouldn't be too much, and a lot of vets are kind hearted people.

 

[bunnyman666]

If it were me, lean on the vet a bit for a payment plan. Offer over 25% up front IF POSSIBLE. If not, do your ABSOLUTE BEST SALESWOMAN JOB on said vet, as long as you have SOMETHING to put down, even if an item of value.

When my little Trigger was in deep doodah, I was prepared to give up my Rolex in exchange for a humane and peaceful passing; I know you would do what you can. Swallow your pride and figure out how you can get something as SIMPLE as a spay done.

Please know that I am NOT scolding you; I know how much you love your nose-wiggler. PM me; I want to help.

 

[majorv]

Everyone has some good ideas, and believe it or not, ladysown is right...breeding her would settle her down. How old are your brothers? I think it's a good idea to get their help, if they're old enough. Let us know what you decide because I know there are caring people on here who would help you with the cost of spaying. The last thing you need is stress that doesn't need to be there. :feelbetter:

 

[ShadowRunner]

Check out www.ncraoa.com/clinics.html
I hope this helps and good luck.

 

[Ana_The_Dreamer]

Thank you all SO much for all the advice and support! It really means a lot.
I've decided to start searching in-depth for a vet that could give me a bit of wiggle room with the spay prices. I found someone that would do it for $200, so that's an improvement!
I've also decided to seek out help from my family over the whole issue (I'm not the type of person who likes to ask for help ) and in return I was given a wonderful offer, my family members will donate $100 to my bunny spay funds! That means I'm already half way there. :yahoo: I may try to see if I can set up a payment plan with the vet so that I can get her spayed asap.
My siblings also decided to pitch in and offered to clean her cage every now and then.
Besides the fact that I'm squirreling away money: I've been working one-on-one with Nessa for at least 2 hours every day, to try to improve her aggression. I've pretty much given up hope for the moment that she will accept litter-box training again but oh well.
I'd rather have bunny poos everywhere and an affectionate Nessa.
She seems to respond well to an action packed play time. Things to jump over, things to rip to shreds, things to dig into: etc.
She's still nippy but I've been using some methods I read about on bunny body language websites. She doesn't seem pleased but she's not taking a chunk out of my hand like she used to. Our new motto is: "I respect your space, you don't bite my face."
Again, thank you all so much for everything!

 

[stevesmum]

That is a great motto lol.