mum kicked out dad

[irishlops]

gah- dun no what to say...

welll might as well start.
my dad is a bus man. he has been for... i guess 40 yrs anyway, for the past 10 or 11 he has been having a MENTAL not pysical relationship with this:X a woman linda. she is called a home wrreaker because she has split up 2 other mens families. he walked out on my mum over here 2 times.
my mum had him back. now she found fro the past 10/11 yrs he has been doing runs and shifts for her being late home for us and warming up her bus in the morening for her, he sent my mum a text by accident when was ment for linda. it went,
you got a lovely day off girl tues and sat. ill talk later at 2pm. see ya there babe.

my mum never got sent or caled babe by him.


now he is kicked out. again.:shock: but i dont care really with the amount off well ********** going on with my mind and life i dont care. it sounds so bad when i type it but, really. he has not been there.
oh well
going to work at 5 in the morning back at 10 or even 3 am! i rarely saw him. so it wont make a differnce.

 

[Becca]

i think you're handling this really well

you need a biiiig hug!

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[HUG]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

there you go!

I really don't know what else to say but you know I'm here for you ok? x

x

 

[irishlops]

Becca wrote:

i think you're handling this really well

you need a biiiig hug!

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[HUG]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

there you go!

I really don't know what else to say but you know I'm here for you ok? x

x

thanks. but i dont need the hug..
*returns it, *hugs becca**lol
im not handling it well. i have just shut my self down because its happend 2 times already, and he is never there.
maybe thats a good thing:?

 

[NorthernAutumn]

Keep your chin up, Elena...
I think that it must be really hard to cope with an absentee father... but like you said, it's not really anything new...
Who knows, maybe your dad will figure stuff out someday, and stop putting his family through pain.

(I'm hugging you too, even though you're a tough one )

 

[irishlops]

NorthernAutumn wrote:

Keep your chin up, Elena...
I think that it must be really hard to cope with an absentee father... but like you said, it's not really anything new...
Who knows, maybe your dad will figure stuff out someday, and stop putting his family through pain.

(I'm hugging you too, even though you're a tough one )

:shock: how dares you! lol
*wriggle swrmie, pokie...* oh ok.. ill let ypu offf.lol i hope he figures it out aswell

 

[CKGS]

(((Elena))) Sometimes adults do some pretty crappy things. I am sorry your dad is doing this. I think he will live to regret this- they always do. Give your mom some hugs too. I'm sure shes pretty stressed out too.

 

[irishlops]

CKGS wrote:

(((Elena))) Sometimes adults do some pretty crappy things. I am sorry your dad is doing this. I think he will live to regret this- they always do. Give your mom some hugs too. I'm sure shes pretty stressed out too.

no offence you probbily dont know thgat much about me... but i dont want to hug or le my mum touch me... but i guess she is stressed

 

[paul2641]

irishlops wrote:

CKGS wrote:

(((Elena))) Sometimes adults do some pretty crappy things. I am sorry your dad is doing this. I think he will live to regret this- they always do. Give your mom some hugs too. I'm sure shes pretty stressed out too.

no offence you probbily dont know thgat much about me... but i dont want to hug or le my mum touch me... but i guess she is stressed

That kinda rude CKGS was trying to support you, If the matter wasn't important why post it, Most people would offer sympathy in this kind of situation.

 

[CKGS]

Well okay. I think, however, that you two should lean on eachother. You are correct in saying I don't know you that well but I do know that whatever problems you are having with your mother may seem smaller one day. Often we don't understand or appreciate our parents til we are older. Parents go through things that they don't share with their children.
Again I am sorry for all you are going through and I am sorry you and your mother have such a bad relationship.

 

[pla725]

I really don't think you are handling this well. I know there have been other issues as well that you have brought. Someone in a past thread recommended seeing a counselor. Have you thought about that? I really think you would benefit from it as well as your mom. I am just concerned as are others.

Good luck.

 

[Saudade]

paul2641 wrote:

irishlops wrote:

CKGS wrote:

(((Elena))) Sometimes adults do some pretty crappy things. I am sorry your dad is doing this. I think he will live to regret this- they always do. Give your mom some hugs too. I'm sure shes pretty stressed out too.

no offence you probbily dont know thgat much about me... but i dont want to hug or le my mum touch me... but i guess she is stressed

That kinda rude CKGS was trying to support you, If the matter wasn't important why post it, Most people would offer sympathy in this kind of situation.

Paul just shut up, elena is going through a hard time okay? She doesn't need you being a jerk on top of it, i'm sure she didn't mean to be rude but you have no idea what sort of stresses she's going through so lay off.

Elena I know life can be hard, I know it's pretty crap, in fact a year ago I wouldn't of been able to give you one reason why it's worth living. But now well, my best advice to you is to pass on three of the wisest words ever written by man. They're actually magic, or so the original tale says, it can make a happy man sad and a sad man happy, 'This too shall pass'.

Take what little joys you can as much as you can! Don't worry about what's going on with your mum and dad, in the blink of an eye you'll be off to uni and then to a job, a family, old age! All these things will happen faster than you know! I know life might seem down at the moment. Treasure what moments you can, spend them with your buns, find comfort and solace in them.

I really think you should go and talk to someone though, find a counsellor at your school or even outside of school, talk to them, tell them what you're going through. It helps to let it all out, if you don't and just keep it in... Those sort of pains are like cancer, if you don't let it out, get it out of you, it will grow and fester deep inside and spread itself throughout your life. So please talk to someone... It doesn't even have to be about what's going on with that, it could be about how that's affecting the rest of your life.

 

[Becca]

^ yeah that!!!!!!

 

[CKGS]

Okay boys... I don't think telling anyone to shut up is appropiate either.
Elena is having a rough time and I didn't take to heart what she said. I know we can say things in a way sometimes that isn't appropiate but I think she didn't mean that rude so please just calm down. I like both of you guys so just take it easy.

(((Elena))) I really do agree with Dave and pla725- I think you need to talk to someone. A counselor won't judge you nor treat you as a psychiatrist does- some people equate them as one and the same. It is not a weakness either to admit needing help but actually a huge strength you will be able to use in other areas of your life. Please think about this at least before you write it off. Dave is also correct in saying it will seep into your life later on. I know because I did this.
It isn't easy but needs to be done. You can and will become a better person for talking about things. It took me a long time to finally get up the nerve to get help and Now- well I wish I had done it sooner. I lost alot in the years I spent angry and resentful of everyone. I pray you won't do the same.
Many people here care about you Elena or we wouldn't respond to you. Remember that.

 

[SweetSassy]

CKGS wrote:

Okay boys... I don't think telling anyone to shut up is appropiate either.

I agree!!^^^ Elena may have(IDK) grew up in a family where feelings aren't shown or affection. I know this has to hurt, or she wouldn't have posted it. Elena is young still. She's gonna push people away. I remember doing it myself.

____________________________________________________

Elena, if you feel like you can't talk to anyone(counselor,etc...). Just remember you can talk to us, your friends at RO We're here for you. You may not like hugs, but your friends are gonna send hugs anyways. Lol. Whatwe do know about you,we like and care about you.

 

[paul2641]

Saudade wrote:

paul2641 wrote:

irishlops wrote:

CKGS wrote:

(((Elena))) Sometimes adults do some pretty crappy things. I am sorry your dad is doing this. I think he will live to regret this- they always do. Give your mom some hugs too. I'm sure shes pretty stressed out too.

no offence you probbily dont know thgat much about me... but i dont want to hug or le my mum touch me... but i guess she is stressed

That kinda rude CKGS was trying to support you, If the matter wasn't important why post it, Most people would offer sympathy in this kind of situation.

Paul just shut up, elena is going through a hard time okay? She doesn't need you being a jerk on top of it, i'm sure she didn't mean to be rude but you have no idea what sort of stresses she's going through so lay off.

Elena I know life can be hard, I know it's pretty crap, in fact a year ago I wouldn't of been able to give you one reason why it's worth living. But now well, my best advice to you is to pass on three of the wisest words ever written by man. They're actually magic, or so the original tale says, it can make a happy man sad and a sad man happy, 'This too shall pass'.

Take what little joys you can as much as you can! Don't worry about what's going on with your mum and dad, in the blink of an eye you'll be off to uni and then to a job, a family, old age! All these things will happen faster than you know! I know life might seem down at the moment. Treasure what moments you can, spend them with your buns, find comfort and solace in them.

I really think you should go and talk to someone though, find a counsellor at your school or even outside of school, talk to them, tell them what you're going through. It helps to let it all out, if you don't and just keep it in... Those sort of pains are like cancer, if you don't let it out, get it out of you, it will grow and fester deep inside and spread itself throughout your life. So please talk to someone... It doesn't even have to be about what's going on with that, it could be about how that's affecting the rest of your life.

I'm not trying to cause an arrangement but I have to say.

I'm not being a jerk I'm using my brain not my heart, Witch keeping a level head on the matter is the most important thing rather then letting your emotions get the better then you.

Oh and if everything was a fairy tale like Sausade said.

 

[LionsRawr]

Wow you sound like your family is going through what mine did when I was a teenager.

My dad was/is a truck driver and he was cheating on my mom with a woman while he was away on trips. He even took a job where he only saw us on the weekends but saw her all during the week.

My dad left us twice before my mom kicked him out too. Honestly it was a huge releif. Its so hard to see one family member cause anouther emotional pain like that.

If you ever need to vent my message box is always open. I completey understand what your going through.


Its totally understandable that you have shut down to it. I did the same. Its too draining to let it effect you the same way everytime. You really do become numb to it.

 

[irishlops]

too much info for me to digest at the moment, ill post in deatil 2morrrow. im just poopng online.
i thnk every one is right, and have diffrent views. and no paul your not a jerk.
a coullser? why. what could tehy do? if i get rid of this hate my way, it might be gone and hay, ill be fine.
dave- your correct so is plaz and sweet sassy. as i said,i really skimmed through things. i ahve to go now, ill read slower tomorrow.
thanks/-
ps. i dont want this thraed locked when i come tomorrrow! so behave.
but really im fine dont worry

 

[irishbunny]

I think talking to a counsellour, or better again a trusted adult family member, would help too, in many of your posts you have said your Mam physically and mentally abuses you and you have said life isn't worth living and about self harming. It can really help to get things off your chest to someone you trust
I'm sorry things haven't been great *hugs*
PM box is open for you!

 

[Flashy]

A counsellor can help you work through your pain. They also have the knowledge and skill that family members generally don't have and are outside of the situation and so they are often easier to talk to once you work out that basic trust.

Counsellors generally just listen whereas different types of therapists might help you in a more proactive way, such as by helping you develop strategies to use when things are rough.

There are lots of different ways that therapists can work, you can talk, or do art (collage, drawing), writing (poems, letters, spider diagrams), all sorts. Sometimes it can be hard to speak what you feel and so they can help you communicate in other ways. My therapist sometimes suggests I write her letters or draw what's going on for me.

There are/t different types of therapist who do different things and work in different ways, a counsellor is only one type, also, all people are different so not all counsellors/therapists work for all people.

I do definitely think it is something worth looking into. You can go via school, or your doctor, and there may be charities and organisations in your area that also help teens who need emotional/mental support.

 

[maherwoman]

(((HUGS))) for you, Hun...

I went through a lot of parents cheating and doing horrible things to each other as a kid/teen/young adult, so I can understand at least a bit of what you're going through.

It's hard to get through...just know that you're in my heart with all this...and if you need to talk, I'm here. (((HUGS)))