Ok, so here is a stupidly long reply! Sorry, but it was hard to answer conscicely!
Friendship means everything to me. I love the phrase 'friends are the family that you choose'. I think it's so true.
I've had a lot of friends that have come and gone, and I've had some friends that I've stuck with even though they were bad, bullied me even (this was at school but they have a lot to answer for re my lack of confidence lol) but I still refused to say a bad word about them. If I consider someone a good friend I refuse to hear or say a bad word about them! Even to Steve, or my mum, who I tell everything to. The thing is, I'm REALLY shy talking to people I don't know- even with my closest friends I'm scared of calling/texting them etc.... I will hardly ever be the first person to start a conversation on MSN, because I am just super-shy. I get a lot better once I get to know someone and feel comfortable, but still with some of my oldest friends I am still so scared of saying 'hi' :? I think that sometimes people mistake it for rudeness, which breaks my heart, because it's totally the opposite of how I feel, lol. I actually am always so grateful for anyone wanting to be my friend!
One thing I've learnt over the past year or so especially is that there are those who will ALWAYS be there no matter what you go through, and there are those who are 'fairweather friends'. Our group is about 15 people roughly, and I'm closer to some than others. Some of them I only see/speak to when I'm out etc, and to a certain extent they are 'fairweather friends' because I don't talk to them when times are bad- not that they ignore me but it's sort of a mutual thing that we aren't that close... ANYWAY lol... there are a handful of people in my group (mostly the girls) who I know I can always count on. Specifically my 2 best friends, R and S, I have been friends with since I was 16- which is nearly 9 years now (Gosh I'm old!) They are friends that I have been through rough times with- had fall-outs, been annoyed with, I've annoyed them, there have been times when we weren't as close, etc, but they have always been there.
The part of the quote that Ali posted 'vary in intensity over time' applies here, because there have been periods when we havent been as close as we should have been, for whatever reason, but we always come back to each other. We know that we can always depend on each other. I can not see some friends for ages, meet up with them and run out of conversation, or not know how to be. When I see/speak to R, no matter how long since we spoke, it always ends up being an hour at the very least, and I always end up in hysterics and teling her stuff that I think to myself but don't tell anyone. That's true friendship to me. Sure, she didn't rush round when I had my operations (she was pregnant and on the other side of town lol) but I knew that she was always there, and would always care. Same with S. She text me every single day to ask how I was doing, did I need anything from the shops, did I want company, etc etc. I turned her down a lot because I felt so crappy, but she understood and just kept being there. That meant the world to me.
On the other hand, there was another friend, L, who I had been really close to for about 18months, to the same level. We did so much together! Out partying all the time, getting drunk, having fun and telling each other everything. We would speak every day, wherever one went, the other would follow, etc etc. When I went into hospital, she dropped me like a hot potato. Literally, overnight. Whilst S was dropping everything to come round and see me after I was out of hospital, she was texting me saying she was out drinking with another friend of ours, but she 'felt sorry for me'. Then I didn't hear from her for weeks- because she was out partying with another friend that she had decided was her favourite! That was pretty much the end of our friendship, although I didn't want to admit it for a long time. I only realised recently when she dropped S for no apparent reason, with no excuse- just stopped talking to her. They were supposed to move in together, but L made some excuse about not wanting to live with friends- whilst all the while planning to move in with another friend who was now 'flavour of the month'. She has now completely dropped us all for her, blocked us from her Facebook, invited all the guys of the group to her housewarming but not us, etc etc. I had to tell her the other week why I was so mad at her because she thought that everything was just ok between us. I must admit, I was totally upset at the time because she was such a good friend, and I didn't want to lose her. Now I see that she was never the friend I thought she was, and I just feel taken in by her and stupid for trusting her. It makes me appreciate the friends I do have even more, and I know I am so lucky to have them!
Ok, so this has turned into the longest post ever, bet you're sorry you asked now lol!
I must also say that all these friends were in real-life.... Since being on the forum I'm beginning to discover that you can have friends all over the world as well- people you've never met before but can trust, and talk to. It's opened up a whole new world of friendship for me.... although I am still so shy lol, luckily all the friends I've made so far have reached out to me, because I couldn't do it myself! I hate being so shy and scared of talking to people
