I'm home alone!! :(

[Bo B Bunny]

kherrmann3 wrote:

mouse_chalk wrote:

Steve has gone away to his mums this weekend. I 'wasn't allowed' to go.... long story :X

Sometimes, I wish I wasn't allowed by Will's j/k, or am I?

Too funny! I was thinking the same thing! and my daughter begged me not to go to their house on Thanksgiving. Pretty sad when the grandkids feel the same.........

 

[NZminilops]

I would HATE being alone all that time, I'm so insecure and freak out that people are going to die or get seriously injured if I don't see them for ages :?, poor Jen! I hope he comes home ASAP.

I was really embarassed and made an idiot out of myself yesterday, Mathew has been working a lot this week and had to work all weekend because they were doing stock-take. So on Sunday he was meant to work from 9 till 1, left with his cellphone but it was flat. No worries, I figure he'll charge it at work as he has a charger there. He normally calls me once or twice a day, so I forget about him and get on with the day. Suddenly I realise it's 2pm and he's not home, and I haven't heard from him. I call his phone, it's not switched on. So of course me being me, bursts into tears and suddenly think he must have been in a car accident or something, because he is never late home (he's a virgo, very scheduled sort of person ).

The time creeps by and I'm working myself into a frenzy, and eventually call his work, and no one answers. So I then think for sure something has happened, that everyone must have gone home for the day. It's now 3:30.

He'd taken my car to work so I get into his car to go drive out and see where he is. It's a huge 80's Holden station wagon, I guess no one will know what that is on here but suffice to say it would suit a 6'5" man very well, and I'm a 4'11" woman.

So I can't see over the steering wheel, I'm having to lie down to reach the pedals, I'm not legally alowed to drive a car with a manual gearbox, and I keep stalling the car...this is all before I leave the driveway . I finally manage to get it on the road, and I see Mat driving home on the other side so I pull over, he thinks I'm someone stealing the car, does a U-turn and parks and leaps out screaming at me to get out of his effing car etc etc etc, and sees it's me and has a fit !

It's kind of funny now but boy was he annoyed at the time, I said that'll teach him to make me worry!


Er, not sure what the point of my story was, I guess just to say I think you are brave and I'd be crying and feeling abandoned all weekend. I think you are handling it so well!

Just imagine how clingy that family of your ex would have thought I was! :biggrin2:

Michelle

 

[Sabine]

I can imagine, Jen, you must feel very touchy about your bf being off to his mother without you after your experience with your ex. I remember my mother used to be very rude to my ex husband and her visits used to be a nightmare. I am glad David's parents live in the UK and they are really sweet and seem to like me

 

[pinksalamander]

Cheese AND cake in one solid, tasty, satisfying form. Where can you go wrong?

I spend most of my time home alone LOL. I usually like it because its how I have been brought up, with my Mum working all the time. Sometimes though I wish I had a boyfriend to spend time with. I haven't ever had a proper boyfriend or anything, and I'm pretty sure the majority of my family, work colleagues and acquaintances think I'm a lesbian.

Fran :hearts :brownbunny

 

[Sabine]

I never had a proper boyfriend since well into my mid twenties. But I haven't been on my own much since. I sometimes really miss it.

 

[mouse_chalk]

I don't really mind being on my own either, in fact I used to live on my own, in a flat for about a year, and I LOVED it! I think it's worse for me right now because I'm not very independant. I can't drive, so I have to rely on Steve or my parents to get me places, because I'm not always well enough to use public transport/walk etc. So I can't just go and do something I want to do just because I feel like it. Like an hour and a half ago, I really fancied a glass of wine, and some chocolate. The shop is a 10 minute walk away. It's not a horrible walk, but it is dark and side-streety, plus blinkin freezing lol. If I could drive I would have just hopped in the car no questions asked, but because I can't I agonised for ages over whether or not to go lol. When Steve's at home he's usually happy to give me lifts etc :?

Anyway, I'm annoyed at him because he called me earlier. We talked for about 6-7mins, and in that WHOLE time, did he once ask how I was? Or the bunnies? Nooooo, he jabbered on and on about what he's been up to, how he walked his mum's dog, what a nice time he's having, blah, blah, BLAH! :X I told him I had to use the bathroom and had to go lol....

I did sleep in the middle of the bed though.... All spread out! My laptop came to bed with me so I listened to music to fall asleep to- the laptop slept in Steve's space! :laughsmiley:


I HATE that I miss a man so much lol.... I love him to pieces but I sometimes hate that I do.... I miss my indenpendant-not-needing-a-man-ness! But I so can't wait till he gets home.... :?

Michelle, I'm the same as you! I worry so much! Last year, there were bomb scares on tube lines in London, the same day that Steve went to London on a training course. I sent him a stern text saying that if he dared to even think about going near a tube station I would not be responsible for my actions! Him and his friend walked instead, and got soaked through to the skin in the rain, missed the train home and took a later train and had to stand the whole 2 hours journey. Yeah, I was NOT popular for that one lol!! I'm always terrified if he goes off after an argument though, that something will happen, that is my worst ever fear, especially if we're not talking :?

 

[Sabine]

I know the not driving thing is a problem for me too. I know i should really learn butI'm scared. I get flustered very easily too and panic. And I'm very independent otherwise. I'm the sole bread winner, have a black belt in karate... But I can't drive. Well, at least that makes David feel better, who'd want a woman to be too liberated

 

[JadeIcing]

Sabine wrote:

I know the not driving thing is a problem for me too. I know i should really learn butI'm scared. I get flustered very easily too and panic. And I'm very independent otherwise. I'm the sole bread winner, have a black belt in karate... But I can't drive. Well, at least that makes David feel better, who'd want a woman to be too liberated

I know the feeling. I can't breath if I go to fast. I was hit by a car and ever since have alot of anxiety when it comes to cars.

 

[NZminilops]

I've never lived alone, don't think I have ever even spent a night alone at any stage :shock:, as in, no one else in the house, my entire life :?.

Sometimes I daydream about living alone and fantasize about not doing dishes or vacuuming for days on end .

 

[kherrmann3]

NZminilops wrote:

Sometimes I daydream about living alone and fantasize about not doing dishes or vacuuming for days on end .

I think about that too. I need to live with someone else. I think if I were single (I don't see that one happening) I don't know how guys would feel about coming into an apartment with a loose rabbit running around!

I need the warmth when I sleep, too. Will is a radiator. Last year for Thanksgiving, he went back to Michigan to be with his family. I stayed home because I wanted to be at my Grandparent's Thanksgiving party. I was so cold that weekend. I couldn't sleep at all!

 

[BethM]

I seem to get really anxious when I'm alone at night. Like, every little sound sets my hair on end and my heart races because somewhere in my lizard brain I think someone's in the house. Even when I KNOW that's not true. And I can tell myself over and over again that everything's fine, and then I have to run around checking all the closets and stuff. I don't know why this happens to me, and it's sort of embarassing to even admit. It happens when I'm the only one awake, too. I'll be sitting at my computer, husband is asleep, then all of a sudden for no reason I freak out about it. Even when I'm lying in bed, and husband is asleep next to me, I have to turn off the air purifier so I can hear everything, and lie in bed so I can see through the door. It's worse when I'm sleep deprived, when my ears invent sounds and my eyes invent moving shadows. I end up even more sleep deprived because I can't sleep until I'm completely exhausted.

I have a lot of nightmares, too. It's been pretty much a life-long thing, though I'm starting to think about seeing a doctor, maybe some anti-anxiety medicine would help me.

I am 33 years old and I'm afraid of the dark. Well, not really the dark, more like whatever my brain thinks is lurking in the dark.


Other than that, I love being home alone all day, doing whatever I feel whenever I feel, no compromising. I'm an only child, so it's nice to have a day of completely selfish behaviour once in a while.

 

[kherrmann3]

BethM wrote:

I seem to get really anxious when I'm alone at night. Like, every little sound sets my hair on end and my heart races because somewhere in my lizard brain I think someone's in the house. Even when I KNOW that's not true.

I'll be sitting at my computer, husband is asleep, then all of a sudden for no reason I freak out about it.

I am 33 years old and I'm afraid of the dark. Well, not really the dark, more like whatever my brain thinks is lurking in the dark.

Wow! That is totally like me! I am terrified of being home alone (mostly at night). That's why Will and I adopted zebra finches. I needed "white noise" around the apartment during the day while Will was gone. I am afraid of "the dark" too. I am more afraid of shadows at night. I am always afraid that something dark is at the end of the hallway and it wants to get me. I have to turn lights on when I walk somewhere in the apartment. I panic when I walk (run) across the hallway to get back to the bedroom from the bathroom. I always feel something is on my heels. I have ADHD, too, which doesn't help. I have high-anxiety because of the things that I make up in my mind I hope that doesn't make me sound too crazy. BUT, I know how you feel :hug:

 

[BethM]

kherrmann3 wrote: Wow! That is totally like me! I am terrified of being home alone (mostly at night). That's why Will and I adopted zebra finches. I needed "white noise" around the apartment during the day while Will was gone. I am afraid of "the dark" too. I am more afraid of shadows at night. I am always afraid that something dark is at the end of the hallway and it wants to get me. I have to turn lights on when I walk somewhere in the apartment. I panic when I walk (run) across the hallway to get back to the bedroom from the bathroom. I always feel something is on my heels. I have ADHD, too, which doesn't help. I have high-anxiety because of the things that I make up in my mind I hope that doesn't make me sound too crazy. BUT, I know how you feel :hug:

You know, it's getting to be a little eerie, how many things you and I have in common!

I also turn on lights wherever I go though the house at night. I used to be afraid of "something" in the dark, now I'm mostly afraid of "someone." I don't even watch scary movies much, so I don't know how my brain has invented all of this. When I lie in bed and look out the door at night, at some point the shadows start to move and I have to lie there motionless. If I lie on my left ear, I can hear really strange things, water running in the kitchen, footsteps, sometimes talking. I know none of it's real, but I swear I can hear it!!!!! (It's not that bad if I lie on my other side.) I put the air purifier in the bedroom for the white noise, but then I get paranoid about what might be happening that I can't hear because of the white noise. (Now I'm the crazy one!)

Also, the nightmares......just awful. Lots of dreams about cats (wild and domestic) trying to kill me, other times it's people chasing me, etc. Last night, I dreamt my husband and I had a petty fight inside a Burger King in a bad neighborhood, so I went to wait in the car, and then a group of people robbed the Burger King and killed everyone inside. :shock:

Sometimes, too, I have random horrible images in my head, like if I came home and someone had broken in and tortured the bunnies. Just flashes of horribleness, out of nowhere. I don't know why my brain does this to me.

I have never been checked for ADHD, but I know I have some Obsessive-Compulsive behavior. I can't leave the house in the morning if I don't check to make sure the burners on the stove are turned off. Stuff like that.
But, yeah. I am really thinking I should try some anti-anxiety something.

 

[undergunfire]

Ryan was gone all night last night because we were fighting. Did I sleep? Sure...at 3am. I'm PARANOID that there are ghosts in my house. I have a very severe phobia of ghosts. Sometimes when I am laying in bed and Ryan has fallen asleep...my mind triggers fear and I FEEL a ghost in the bedroom. I panic and end up falling asleep because my heavy breathing makes me exhausted.

There are nights when I swear I'd pee the bed because I am too scared to get out of bed because I think there is a ghost behind the shower curtain.

Anxiety/panic attacks are extremely normal for me and I don't want to go on "zombie meds". Every one on my Dad's side of the family suffers from them, so not-so-luckily....I got them, too.


:embarrassed:

 

[undergunfire]

BethM wrote:

Sometimes, too, I have random horrible images in my head, like if I came home and someone had broken in and tortured the bunnies. Just flashes of horribleness, out of nowhere. I don't know why my brain does this to me.

:shock::shock::shock::shock:

This happens to me, too. My mind flashes things like that. It is scary, very scary.

I also can't leave my house without going through the check list in my mind. My check lists even consits of...."Do I have a bra on? "Am I wearing the same shoes?" "Did I put my make up on this morning"......All of that, even when I know I did.

 

[PepnFluff]

kherrmann3 wrote:

NZminilops wrote:

Sometimes I daydream about living alone and fantasize about not doing dishes or vacuuming for days on end .

I think about that too.  I need to live with someone else.  I think if I were single (I don't see that one happening) I don't know how guys would feel about coming into an apartment with a loose rabbit running around! 




It's not as great as it sounds lol, FLIES!!!. 90% of the time it's just me here last week I saw my mum um 3xs for about 30min at time. I enjoy my own company but apparently thats abnormal:? for a girl my age.... Pity we have no cheesecake :grumpy: I love Cheesecake!

Jen does your supermarket do online shopping? you can just ship it all to you:biggrin2:

 

[Bo B Bunny]

undergunfire wrote:

Ryan was gone all night last night because we were fighting. Did I sleep? Sure...at 3am.

Did he even call you?

 

[mouse_chalk]

I too am scared! I lived the whole year in my basement flat being terrified lol. At night I'd check the front door was locked, put the key on the side, shut the kitchen door, clean my teeth (bathroom right next to kitchen) shut the hallway door which led into the living room, chck the back door was locked without looking through the window because I have this terrible paranoia that I'll see someone looking through the glass! Then I'd pull the blinds in my room down again not looking through the window, crapping myself all the way. Then I'd turn off the living room light, run into the bedroom and shut the door, and run into bed lol. I'd always sleep with my house phone and mobile right next to me! If I'd forgotten something in the kitchen, it would just have to stay there lol. I was too scared to go back and get it!

I wasn't too bad this weekend actually. I did run up the stairs paranoid that someone was behind me, but I wasn't scared the rest of the time so much. Very unusual for me! Although when I was cooking last night, I kept looking behind me because I was terrified that there would be someone behind me or something lol :shock:

Steve is on his way home now... But he's broken down on the motorway! The breakdown people have just got there I think, luckily he was at the services...


I didn't eat the cheesecake in the end :shock::shock::shock::shock: but I did walk to the shops to get some chocolate last night! See, I don't need a man! :?

 

[undergunfire]

Bo B Bunny wrote:

undergunfire wrote:

Ryan was gone all night last night because we were fighting. Did I sleep? Sure...at 3am.

Did he even call you?

Well, we were fighting over texts and he was with his friends, so I knew he stayed at his friend Drake's house....he was being a big pooper. We resolved it, thankfully.

 

[kherrmann3]

BethM wrote:

You know, it's getting to be a little eerie, how many things you and I have in common!

If I lie on my left ear, I can hear really strange things, water running in the kitchen, footsteps, sometimes talking. I know none of it's real, but I swear I can hear it!!!!!

Lots of dreams about cats (wild and domestic) trying to kill me, other times it's people chasing me, etc.

Just flashes of horribleness, out of nowhere. I don't know why my brain does this to me.

I have never been checked for ADHD, but I know I have some Obsessive-Compulsive behavior.

I "hear" things at night, too. I also have tinitis (ringing in the ears) which cuts out my hearing at the worst times, it seems.

I've had a dream about a feral kitty attacking Will and I, it was odd. A week or two later, we were having problems with feral kitties attacking our bedroom window-screen to try and get by Toby (eerie, no?)

I get horrible thoughts while driving (I am terrified of getting in an auto-accident).

I have some OCD behaviors, too. LIKE, I have to have the TV/Radio volumes on a multiple of five. For TV/Radios that don't have numbers, I try and break the screen into fractions. Things have to be symmetrical in my house (on shelves anyways). All DVD's and CD's must be in alphabetical order.

After too many "weird" phone calls from me, Will knows not to leave me home alone for too long. Note: I am not crazy. :biggrin2: