SweetPeasMommie wrote:
You know exactly how my nephew feels for him being almost ten as well as Samantha being almost 13. A good friend of mine from church lost her mom when she just turned 13 so she knows what it is like loosing a mom that age too.
Onec I move back home, I know I will do a bit better. Also everytime I am in Pgh I feel my sisters Presence around me. She is buried just down the street from my parents place so I can even take a bus there to visit if I want to.
I know it is hard for me to sit here and watch all my families talk with their sisters, and It does hurt because mine is not there to talk with me. But I do have my family no matter what.
Everyone does grieve differently too. I try not to let it effect me too much because I have a husband I have to be around for too and I can not shut my life out because of this too. My sister would rather see me happy than sad same with everyone else. I just wish I had more time with her before she got bad. I only seen her once last year before she was sedated on Morphine. I was with her when she passed away peacefully. I am so happy that she did not suffer when she passed away. It was a beautiful thing for her, just what she wanted.
She was in alot of pain, suffering, sick alot, uncomfortable. Now she can breath, have fun, run, soak up the sun, walk on the beach that she loved to do and stuff like that.
Of course your sister would not want you to be sad...and I think part of honoring the memory of a loved one is to be able to live your own life with happiness, and filled with happy memories. Never hold any regrets for the past, for it only tends to keep you in pain. Instead, focus upon the happy moments, no matter how many or few there may have been.
How wonderful that you were there when your sister passed away...many do not get that opportunity. When my mom died, I hadn't seen her in several weeks, as she had been wisked off to the hospital for surgery, and once they found that the cancer had spread, they opted (not sure who..my dad, my mom, the drs, maybe everyone) to keep her there until she passed. And my sister and I were not allowed to go to the hospital and visit her, so we never really got to say goodbye. We had no clue she was that sick, and the way I found out about her passing was when a neighbor's daughter approached and told me how sorry she was about my mom. When I said, 'That's okay'...thinking she meant she was sorry my mother was sick, she said, "I'm really sorry she died". Apparently she had passed away that morning and the word got around the neighborhood, but my dad had decided not to tell my sister and I until that evening. So it was quite a shock to hear this coming from another child, esp. when I didn't even realize my mother was dying.
My son, Stephen, had to deal with a lot of grief when he lost his dad last year...there had been some tension between them, a rather strained relationship throughout Stephen's life, and when he learned his father (Bob) was dying, he was very torn about what to do. He was living almost 1500 miles away from him, attending college, and Stephen's stepmother didn't seem to want him to see his dad (she thought my son's presence might be upsetting to Bob). In the end my son phoned his dad and kept in contact with him for the next several days, until his passing...and the tension and strained relationship finally got resolved. But even if it hadn't, I do believe that those who cross over to the other side hold no negative emotions any more...it is all about love. No forgiveness, for there is nothing to forgive...ever. There is only the love and soul connection that we shared with them. It is up to those left here to let go of any regrets, anger, sorrow, or whatever other emotions that may serve to keep us in pain, and to love and honor those we have lost in the physical.
I do believe your sister will be watching out for you, keeping you close and surrounding you with her love. It sounds like she had a wonderful passing! And yes, you can talk with her whenever you want. She will always be with you...as you know, you feel her presence. Don't be surprised if you see little physical reminders of her as well in the coming years...sometimes our loved ones will do this, just as a nudge to say "I'm still here...I'm in your heart".
:hug:
