Going to try to take a break

[TinysMom]

Hi folks. I'm gonna take a break for a bit. I'll be back to do the lop thread later this week and stuff - but right now I'm really struggling with a major bout of depression and I just need a break.

This isn't just over the two bunnies leaving....although that was the final straw that broke this wide open. I cried about 2 hours yesterday and another hour or two today....

Other stuff has added to it though... Tiny is now penned and he's really upset at me - he either gives me the butt or stands on his hind feet and shakes the pen as hard as he can. (Mind you - the pen is larger and cleaner than his normal area he uses).

In addition, I'm sinking into depression and I almost feel like I need to claw my way out of a fog of split pea soup or something just to function. Its hard to explain but I know that everytime I get near the computer and bring up anything on the net - I find myself trapped here for quite a while (even if I only browse and don't post) and then I don't get anything done and I feel even worse.

So I'm taking this off my homepage and as long as Pipp doesn't blow up the forum by making changes....and the forum doesn't go down and then come back with a different address....I'll be back.

I just need some time to take care of me - and I may even start going back for counseling again - I haven't decided yet.

Peg

 

[pamnock]

Take care of yourself Peg - hope to see you back soon, but I understand that you need totakecareofyour real life



Pam

 

[maherwoman]

Oh, Peg...you do what you need to do to make your life beautiful again. We'll be here...and if the forum blows up, I'll email to let ya know. You won't lose us, don't worry!

:hug:

 

[Pipp]

TinysMom wrote:

... I almost feel like I need to claw my way out of a fog of split pea soup or something just to function. Its hard to explain but I know that everytime I get near the computer and bring up anything on the net - I find myself trapped here for quite a while (even if I only browse and don't post) and then I don't get anything done and I feel even worse.

I can REALLY relate to this! (Hey, take me with you!) leaseplease:

TinysMom wrote:

...as long as Pipp doesn't blow up the forum by making changes....and the forum doesn't go down and then come back with a different address....I'll be back.

Seriously, you do need to take time for yourself, no arguments from me. We'll still be here when you get back. Promise!

And so sorry for being slack the last few days, my computer has been letting me lurk but not post -- which is even MORE unproductive.(Partly a memory issue or something, but also my keyboard broke). I know I owe you a few answers, they may not matter any more, but I can email them.

Take care!

s :hug1

 

[Bo B Bunny]

I hope you make it through that fog, and when you do - could you send a search party back? :help

 

[JimD]

TinysMom wrote:

In addition, I'm sinking into depression and I almost feel like I need to claw my way out of a fog of split pea soup or something just to function. Its hard to explain but I know that everytime I get near the computer and bring up anything on the net - I find myself trapped here for quite a while (even if I only browse and don't post) and then I don't get anything done and I feel even worse.

You're not alone in feeling this way.

S.A.D. hit me pretty hard this season.:sigh:

Take care of yourself, and know that we are always here for you. :hug2:

 

[timetowaste]

i know the feeling as well peg. well, i don't want to say i KNOW because i hate when people assume they KNOW how i feel. but i understand what you are saying, and i have a hard time finding the words as well. i know words are useless in these situations, but i just want you to know that you're never alone, okay?

feel better asap please. what about CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)? it has worked well for me (although i maintain no substitute for medication ), especially with the tricks to make that fog go away.

you are never, ever alone peg <3

tracy

 

[Bo B Bunny]

I have SAD too, Jim! plus other issues of depression. What's worse is during the winter months my hubby's work is slow - money is tight - he's home more - he's grouchy more - and I am ready to SCREAM!

 

[GoinBackToCali]

Peg,

I know you told me it isn't my fault, I know I called you 50 bajillion times. I sensed your hurt in your voice. I am sorry, I really am...

Taking Maddie and Mallory from you has been eating at me..

I wish I could make it better for you love.. I really do..


To lighten the mood, we could have my husband do his sessyman dance.. would that help at all?

I appreciate the opportunity you gave us with Maddie and Mallory..

Take care..

Carroll-Marie'

 

[TinysMom]

Zin,

Thanks for caring - and yes, giving you M&M hurt like hell. BUT - I knew it was what was best for them - and to be honest with you - it has worked out really really well for us.

Tiny & Miss Bea aren't using their pen after all (long story - I'll just say that I've learned to never separate a free-roaming bun from his mama - even if he has his wife too. We'll figure out another way to relitter train him - even if it means using 50 boxes in the room). We wound up rearranging things and now George is in here beside his sister Gracie and they are so happy. Also - Cordelia got moved into another pen and then Milina got her pen - all is going well.

There were other things going on in my life to make me sad....some of them were stress related - some were health related - some were finances related (which are now much better - we're getting Art's first paycheck with his raise on Friday and it makes a SIGNIFICANT difference).

I think a lot of it is I'm coming up on the first anniversary of Ginger's death. Honestly - there were times this year when I didn't think I'd make it to the one year mark. My heart hurt so bad over her passing - my life felt so empty. I mean - suddenly I wasn't needed for those two hours or so per day that I used for cuddling, hand feeding, butt bathing and more. It was about as bad as when the kids first went away to college.

I'm taking better care of myself now. I need to get to bed earlier (stayed up till 2:30 am playing an online game w/ the whole family - but I have 2 mystery shops to get done) - but I am taking better care of myself physically. I think that will help too.

Gotta run and get my shops done - but anyway - I know that the two are better off with you. You have more time for them than I do and once Amy made it pretty plain she didn't want them here - I started to distance myself from them and not let myself really connect with them like I wanted. I think it is best for Tiny if they're gone - and Miss Bea too. Only room for one diva in the office...

Peg