Feeling Totally Used

[Sabine]

Thanks to everyone listening to my ranting.
It actually turned out we got away lightly. Today we had to call our landlady as we discovered a leak in the pipes. The guy she sent over to investigate turned out to be her brother..
Now, we are on very good terms with our landlords but if they had got the feeling we were subletting the place the relationship may have changed and it may well have jeopardized our rental agreement. I am so glad we turfed them out yesterday otherwise i would have been worried sick about our landlady thinking we were being dishonest. When our "visitors" were around the place looked a mess and it really did look as if two families were living there full time (Not to mention the guy strutting around in the garden in his underwear).Oh I am so glad to have my house back.:woohoo

 

[SnowyShiloh]

Yay And I'm glad you don't have to worry about the landlady!

 

[Sabine]

It's not over yet!!!!!

I can't believe after virtually chucking these people out they will keep asking us for favours.
This morning I received a text from the woman asking me if she could put my number down as an emergency contact for her kids school and creche. She knows very well I have four kids myself and I don't drive. I straight away had visions of the kids not being collected and the schools ringing me to sort it out.
And I wasn't too far off. She has started sending her six year old girl who has only been in the country for a week on the school bus. The poor little thing still has only limited English. We just found out she told my 12 year old son in the morning that it is his job to collect her girl from the school creche and make sure she gets onto the bus.
I am fuming!!! My son is supposed to look after his sister (7years old)when school is out and put her on the bus and mostly my ex-husband is there to make sure they get on the bus safe.
This is one thing! Next thing I get a phone call from my partner who went down to pick up the kids from the bus stop as it was lashing with rain. He had a car full of kids and also my "friend's" little girl stood there - No idea where she was to meet her mother. She was miles away from her place and of course had no idea how to get home or get in touch with her mother. I did manage to ring her and it turned out she was waiting at the wrong stop. Apparently I hadn't told her where the bus would stop (I remember distinctly saying to her that she needs to talk to the bus driver and maybe ride on the bus with her daughter for a while.)
I just can't believe I am put into this position again after we thought we got rid of them.

 

[NorthernAutumn]

No, you are not the emerg contact. Tell her to get someone with a car.

I feel absolutely terrible for her little girl. It would be great if your son was willing, but she should not have dared to put that responsibility on his shoulders.
:grumpy:

What an incompetent ignoramus... were her parents like this too?

 

[Sabine]

I am just so appalled she put her daughter in this situation. Normally my kids don't even go on the school bus on Mondays as they have after school activities.
What if the little girl had been on the bus all by herself. She had no idea where to get off (just her mom's instruction to get off where my kids get off, which was actually the wrong stop for her) and I'm sure she wouldn't even know her address as they only moved in a few days ago. She could have well ended up with Social Services:shock:

 

[SnowyShiloh]

Maybe ending up with Social Services would have given her parents a clue. Then again, they probably would have just been filled with righteous indignation over the poor thing. Poor little girl, that would have been a terrible experience for her.

What did you tell them about the emergency contact thing? Don't let them do it. Tell them that a) You don't have a vehicle and B) You don't feel comfortable doing it. If they question you, just keep repeating B. You are under no obligation to help these people and it is not rude not to offer more of an explanation.

 

[Sabine]

I actually sent a text back saying that it wouldn't be a good idea as i have no transport and couldn't be called upon in an emergency. I didn't receive a reply but I am actually sure she put my name down anyhow and asked after
Apparently the kid had already left the creche before my son got to her and was waiting in the yard with my daughter. They normally wouldn't be allowed to leave the creche unless a parent or designated contact was there. She must have pointed to my daughter and since my ex-husband was with her (who is well respected in the school) they must have thought it was ok (making me think my name was down as a contact). I warned my ex-husband not to get sucked into taking responsibility as I could just see my kids ending up missing the bus over her messing around.

 

[Korr_and_Sophie]

It might be a good idea to contact the school about the emergency contact thing. Hopefully you can get them to remove you as a contact (if she put you as one). It might require you to go to the school, but would be worth it.

You might need to actually to this person face to face about it. She needs to understand that you and your children are not responsible for her kids. You do not have a car, and cannot be there in an emergency. Your kids have their own activities and will not take on the extra responsibility of her kids. The fact that they use different bus stops makes it pointless to have your kids look out for hers. Make it clear that your kids will not wait for her and will not be there to help her if something does happen.
You could also tell her that you will charge an obscene amount to watch out for her child. If she gets off at the wrong stop and has to be looked after by you, then charge by the hour and only charge full hours. If she does keep you as an emergency contact, charge double the other fee and a fee to be listed. If you can't reason with her, hit her where it hurts, in the wallet.

Some people just suck. You need to make it 110% clear that you will not tolerate this.

 

[SnowyShiloh]

I definitely agree with Kate about calling the school in regards to the emergency contact thing. I'm sure they would take it quite seriously if they got a phone call from the emergency contact saying you cannot be their emergency contact!

 

[Nela]

I would definitely contact the school and have yourself removed. I would also make sure that none of your kids are looking after theirs. It's bad enough now, but what if something really did happen?

To be honest,I would cut contact with them until they learn a little respect. They are putting you between a rock and a hard place and it may end up costing you. Friends don't do that. They simply aren't friends.

It would probably be best for their kids as well that they have no one else to depend on or rather take advantage of. That might MAKE them step up. If not, well the school can handle that...

 

[NorthernAutumn]

Nela wrote:

I would definitely contact the school and have yourself removed. I would also make sure that none of your kids are looking after theirs. It's bad enough now, but what if something really did happen?

Very true, I'd hate for you or your family to wind up liable...

 

[Sabine]

My ex-husband had a word with the staff in the school creche today. Apparently the principal of the school had personally called into the creche to let them know that the Amanns (my family) were taking care of the new kid!
I am totally horrified. My name was already put down last week without my knowledge. That explains why the creche was happy to accept the arrangement.
So far four of my kids went through this school and with it being a rather small school we are well known. I am so disgusted to find out that this family is bringing us into disrepute. How dare they!
My ex-husband is going to go down tomorrow to clarify the situation and I may have to make the trip to the local play school to find out if I am down there as the emergency contact as well. I am beginning to feel totally paranoid at this stage. I feel like in one of those horror movies where someone latches onto you and wont let go...

 

[slavetoabunny]

I absolutely agree that you should make it well known that you are NOT an emergency contact. I feel very sorry for the children, but you are not responsible for them. Let the parents deal.

 

[Sabine]

It is so bizarre. When they were here I could sense their disapproval that my kids didn't get two cooked meals a day and that my two year old daughter ran around the garden bare foot ( as she kicks of her shoes somewhere around the place)
Yet when it comes to the really important things like making sure their kids are safe they totally rely on the good will of strangers. I just don't get some people's priorities.

 

[Brandy456]

My mom says to even make a police report, that it's getting creepy.

 

[SnowyShiloh]

Agh! I'd be so angry! You need to cut ties with them.

 

[Sabine]

My ex-husband had a meeting with the principal of the school today and explained the situation. Apparently they had told the school last week that my 12-year-old son was going to look after their girl on the school bus. This was before they even told him. I wasn't consulted at all. We made it clear to the school that we don't want our son to take any responsibility for the kid and the principal totally agreed of course.
The thing we have to do now is to have a word with the family.

 

[Brandy456]

Awe
They're beyond weird now, i think. it's more like creepy stalker ish.

 

[Sabine]

Brandy456 wrote:

Awe
They're beyond weird now, i think. it's more like creepy stalker ish.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I've started feeling totally paranoid now. Even when I talk loudly in the house and the front door is open i feel they may have come back and are listening and whenever my phone rings I think it's them.
For some reason they have latched onto our life and seem to think we are the key to their new start in Ireland.
Did I mention that part of the reason for their coming back here is that his father fired the husband from his job in the family company....

 

[slavetoabunny]

Run as fast as you can from these people! You may have to enter a witness protection program, LOL!