Well, both of them went without our consent, i do like to say so myself.
Musti's death was caused by what i say is a freak accident resulted in lack of rabbit proofing, and inexperience in finding a savvy vet fast enough, directly and indirectly my faults. I didn't want to, but it was best to let him go. Lümi just went, after all the stuff he'd pulled through, it wasn't supposed to happen, i didn't see it coming. I didn't want to lose him, and the knowledge that my best attempts weren't good enough, it breaks my heart.
I tried my hardest even when they were alive, and i kind of used my dad's profession to get them a chance of being a permanent reminder through a gravestone. It's helped me cope a lot with their losses.