Can girls be just friends with guys?

[jeanluc_pippen_merry]

I know you can be just friends with the opposite sex because i am just friends with men and don't want anything from them other than what they already give me, their friendship. Whether the person who you are just friends with feels the same way as you is another story. It's always possible that someone who you would only ever consider a friend might "want" or "wish" or could see themselves being more than your friend. If any of my male friends ever felt that way about me i would never have known because to me i never saw my male friends as anything but that, a friend.

However there was this 1 time, in band camp... JUST KIDDING! that i was told that 1 of my buddies was into me. Of course i brushed it off and thought they were just trying to be funny or something, but it turned out he did. But again, just because someone who you consider to be a friend and no more ends up liking you in a "deeper" way doesn't mean that you can't just be friends.

I agree with one of the other posts, there have to be boundaries though if you are involved in a relationship. No reason why you can't remain friends (not you personally, just speaking in general) but there have to be new boundaries set, not only out of respect but because without them the relationship could get rocky.

PepnFluff wrote:

Another question, how would those in committed relationships take to their partner hanging out with the opposite sex? I can understand some being a bit resentful to the idea, but if you can 100% trust your significant other is it really an issue?

If my other half was going to "hang out" with someone, i would be hanging out with them. =P When you're in a serious and committed relationship, there really isn't a "I'll hang with my friends and you can hang with yours" kinda thing any more. "His" and "mine" become "our" friends. And i think that is important in a relationship, but it's also important to have personal time with your friends. Everyone needs a break from their other halves, even from their children!

 

[LakeCondo]

Considering that men, especially young men think about sex every 5-10 minutes, I'd want to steer clear of too much one-on-one time except in public places, if you want to remain friends. Of course once you're 90 or so ...

 

[NickZac]

LakeCondo wrote:

Considering that men, especially young men think about sex every 5-10 minutes, I'd want to steer clear of too much one-on-one time except in public places, if you want to remain friends.  Of course once you're 90 or so ...

I think most people think about sex frequently, regardless of gender. This forum brings an interesting perspective because it seems to be more females than males...most online forums seems to be composed of males. Horny males at that whom's primary motto is "OMG a girl..hooray boobies!"...however, many of them are on forums because of the way they think of females in an almost material fashion. Many of those people are very negative individuals not just in regards to their love life. I try to avoid that type as they bring everyone down. Obvious other people, including females do too. No one likes to be simplified in that fashion.

And while I do think that there are a lot of complications regarding male and female plutonic friendships, I want to let this serve a reminder that not ALL young males are just looking to get laid. And just because I may think "wow she's a really attractive person" doesn't mean I also don't think "wow, she's a really intelligent person" or "wow, her honesty is refreshing", or "wow, she's someone who is a really positive person who I want to be around". Furthermore, just because I may say "wow, she's an attractive person" doesn't mean I am saying "wow I hope I can get laid". There are still some decent young men. Likewise, there are still some decent young women. Both IMO have become scarce, at least around this neck of the woods.

 

[shawnwk1]

i have lots of female friends and there is no feeings there whatsoever on either side so yes it's possible. 2 of these female friends are actually my best friends and who i hang out with and talk to the most. yes people tend to get jealous (especially new relationship partners), but most of the time they will ask just because they are curious not to be rude or anything (now if the same person keeps asking then that's different). perhaps they wonder because of how you two talk to each other or maybe flirt a little (yes it can be done innocently and without feelings) or your body language towards each other?

 

[LakeCondo]

NickZac wrote

I think most people think about sex frequently, regardless of gender.

Somehow I don't think NickZac has ever been a woman with several preschoolers at home. Sleep is the main thing on her mind. And as I recall, the average young man thinks about sex at least 5 times as often as does the average young woman. Women's sexual peak comes after 35, generally.

 

[NickZac]

LakeCondo wrote:

NickZac wrote

I think most people think about sex frequently, regardless of gender.

Somehow I don't think NickZac has ever been a woman with several preschoolers at home.  Sleep is the main thing on her mind.  And as I recall, the average young man thinks about sex at least 5 times as often as does the average young woman.  Women's sexual peak comes after 35, generally.

I can't say that I have...I am a little young for that still! I am sure as I gain experience in life that my opinions could change, as life experiences shape our thought process. And you are correct. Late thirties to mid 40s is a woman's sexual peak...and for us men it is around 17-19. Bummer for us...especially given both male and female identity is so interwoven with sexuality. Masculinity has become largely sex defined and our culture creates a perception that in order to be a 'real man' you have to be practically a sex machine.

 

[LakeCondo]

You put it well, Zac.

 

[cocorabbit]

Uh I ended up marrying my best friend.

I swore we were "just friends" and was SURE he'd NEVER like me... after a couple of years.. I think it's inevitable, someone will start liking the other, even if it's not mutual. Or sometimes it does become mutual... like in my case.

In either way. Just know that if you consider each other such best friends it is possible to turn into something else sooner or later.

But what's wrong with that if it works out for ya?! ;-)

 

[NickZac]

LakeCondo wrote:

You put it well, Zac.

Thanks Hopefully one day I will know first hand the feelings of having a bunch of youngins in the home.

 

[NickZac]

cocorabbit wrote:

Uh I ended up marrying my best friend.

I swore we were "just friends" and was SURE he'd NEVER like me... after a couple of years.. I think it's inevitable, someone will start liking the other, even if it's not mutual. Or sometimes it does become mutual... like in my case.

In either way. Just know that if you consider each other such best friends it is possible to turn into something else sooner or later.

But what's wrong with that if it works out for ya?! ;-)

This is def the most solid foundation two can have IMO. Long-term/good friends turned romantic lovers is usually the type of relationship is the one that has the lowest divorce rates and highest marital satisfaction rates. Kudos to y'all!