Bonding trouble

[Sharda Hartley]

Now its only been a week but I'm worried I'm failing at my first bonding. Ruby my male has been with me for 1.5yrs. He's 3 and fixed. He seeks attention from everyone, even my cat. I've been working very long hours, and he's made it clear he doesn't enjoy the solitude.

So 6 months ago I started the process of adopting him a bond mate. After a series of unfortunate failed adoptions, last week by sheer luck, the store I go for hay had three rabbits available for adoption. They had been rescued from the streets, were fixed, and one was a very laid back, affectionate female.

My first mistake was trying to bond them before the female (called Q for now) was adjusted to her new environment. They were showing zero aggression signs while she was in the carrier and I let my delusions of destiny blind me. I did bring them to the tub for a neutral meeting, but Q was quick to bite Ruby on the butt hard enough to bleed a little.

I've had some limited success getting them to sit near each other while distracted with treats, or getting them to eat together on either side of a gate. However while Q's behavior has shifted to passive, even relaxed, Ruby has been getting increasingly aggressive since his first "date".

Today I've come home from work to find Ruby had managed to bite Q through the fence separating their territories. The wound on her nose looks very painful. I had thought the mesh was fine enough to prevent that but obviously I was wrong.

I feel I have created a negative association for Ruby with Q and I don't know how to flip the script. Help please?

 

[Sharda Hartley]

I have been leaving them in separate areas, with a gate that lets them see and smell each other. I have been using neutral territories for interactions (or trying to, I have limited space and Ruby is not housed in a cage or pen) I have been using treats and greens to encourage positive association, keeping an eye out for aggressive behaviour. I have been told that if nothing works then to try stress bonding, by putting the rabbits in a carrier together and moving it around. Either rocking it, putting the carrier on top of a drier, or going for a car ride. However this sounds dangerous to me and I am unsure its good advice. I also dont know how long to waited until proclaiming the match a failure. This is my first time bonding and I am very worried I'm doing everything wrong.

 

[Critterfan87]

@Blue eyes?
Following along to see advice too.

 

[Blue eyes]

I have been told that if nothing works then to try stress bonding, by putting the rabbits in a carrier together and moving it around. Either rocking it, putting the carrier on top of a drier, or going for a car ride. However this sounds dangerous to me and I am unsure its good advice. I also dont know how long to waited until proclaiming the match a failure. This is my first time bonding and I am very worried I'm doing everything wrong.

I would agree with your hesitation about 'stress bonding.' I'm not a fan of it and either are others. (for more on that, check here)

Unfortunately, bonding is not close to being exact. It varies so much between individual rabbits and what will or won't work with each one. It can be so frustrating when a bond attempt does not go as planned, but don't give up too soon. Sometimes just a different tactic is needed.

There are different ways to go about it so if one way isn't working, follow your instincts and try something else.

Since they've recently been aggressive enough to cause injury, it might be a good idea to try to get them to forget about each other. It doesn't seem likely that any meets will go well right now. You could try completely separating them from each other (out of sight, out of smell of each other) for a couple weeks. The idea behind this tactic is that they forget that they've had their tussles and forget that they don't like each other.

After that you could again try having them near each other but separated this time by a double pen (so there is space between the pens and they can't physically reach through as they've recently done). They could stay that way for weeks before starting bonding sessions. After those bonding sessions, if all is going well, then they could do the immersion method where they stay together 24/7 until bonded (or until it is determined that they won't bond).

These are all options and you'll need to see what you think may work and what you feel comfortable with trying. Some might suggest going straight to the immersion method after their separation.

Not all rabbits will bond so don't feel like you are failing. If 2 rabbits refuse to bond, don't blame yourself. It happens. I've had my share too.

The following is a good resource on bonding - pretty thorough. I especially like the videos they show -- and not just those easy, effortless bonds that anyone would like to have, but difficult ones and ones that won't work.
https://www.cottontails-rescue.org.uk/information/bonding-bunnies/

If you had gotten Q through a rescue, I'd advise you to keep them informed of your progress (or lack) so they would be prepared if you needed to exchange her for a different potential. It didn't sound like that would be the case with her though. (?)

 

[Sharda Hartley]

I would agree with your hesitation about 'stress bonding.' I'm not a fan of it and either are others. (for more on that, check here)

Unfortunately, bonding is not close to being exact. It varies so much between individual rabbits and what will or won't work with each one. It can be so frustrating when a bond attempt does not go as planned, but don't give up too soon. Sometimes just a different tactic is needed.

There are different ways to go about it so if one way isn't working, follow your instincts and try something else.

Since they've recently been aggressive enough to cause injury, it might be a good idea to try to get them to forget about each other. It doesn't seem likely that any meets will go well right now. You could try completely separating them from each other (out of sight, out of smell of each other) for a couple weeks. The idea behind this tactic is that they forget that they've had their tussles and forget that they don't like each other.

After that you could again try having them near each other but separated this time by a double pen (so there is space between the pens and they can't physically reach through as they've recently done). They could stay that way for weeks before starting bonding sessions. After those bonding sessions, if all is going well, then they could do the immersion method where they stay together 24/7 until bonded (or until it is determined that they won't bond).

These are all options and you'll need to see what you think may work and what you feel comfortable with trying. Some might suggest going straight to the immersion method after their separation.

Not all rabbits will bond so don't feel like you are failing. If 2 rabbits refuse to bond, don't blame yourself. It happens. I've had my share too.

The following is a good resource on bonding - pretty thorough. I especially like the videos they show -- and not just those easy, effortless bonds that anyone would like to have, but difficult ones and ones that won't work.
https://www.cottontails-rescue.org.uk/information/bonding-bunnies/

If you had gotten Q through a rescue, I'd advise you to keep them informed of your progress (or lack) so they would be prepared if you needed to exchange her for a different potential. It didn't sound like that would be the case with her though. (?)

The reason Q was at the store was because local Animal Services was over run with rabbits. Even the fosters homes are full. However for one reason or another most of them arent available for adoption. Her brothers are still at the store so I could try to return her, but that wouldn't sit right with me. I did list failed bond as a reason I would try to return her.

However I am confident my handling of the situation is the problem. Both have been very hungry for affection, and chill personalities when away from each other. At one point I saw them both strike aggressive poses and in panic I threw my arm between them. It was not a good plan, but they both stopped in their tracks, gave my arm kisses, and hopped away. They are both really sweet, they just need a chance to see that in each other. They both love snuggling and are very physically affectionate.

I am committed to getting these 2 bonded. I have a really nice fenced and covered outdoor bunny run. I've checked the weather and shes safe to stay in the run for the next 2 weeks. I have a screen door with a metal based 3 feet high leading from my living room to the run. That way shes close to me but totally separate from Ruby. In 2 weeks I plan on having their first interaction at my mothers on a slick tile floor. Totally neutral. Is there anything I can do other then sticking them together, watching closely and hoping for the best?

 

[Blue eyes]

They are both really sweet, they just need a chance to see that in each other. They both love snuggling and are very physically affectionate.
Is there anything I can do other then sticking them together, watching closely and hoping for the best?

How you set up the slick floor can help, depending on your chosen method of bonding. If you're just doing short sessions, then they need unhindered space to interact (typically a smaller, limited area). If you are doing immersion, then it's good to have some hidey areas and a couple litterboxes -- similar to what they show on the cottontails site I linked. I would suggest thoroughly reading over that section and reviewing the videos during these next weeks.

I do hope you have success. I just wanted to note that how a rabbit reacts and behaves toward humans or other species (dogs, cats) is no indication of how that rabbit will react to another individual rabbit. The meanest rabbit (toward humans) that hates dogs and cats could end up being the easiest rabbit to bond with other rabbits. The sweetest rabbit could be completely resistant to any other rabbit (or to just particular rabbits).

So while these two rabbits may be the sweetest and most affectionate towards you, that in no way means they will ever see each other in that way. I'm not saying that to discourage you but to suggest that their being sweet does not mean that the difficulty in bonding is your fault or your wrongdoing somehow. Their desire for affection may just be what keeps them at odds with each other, jealous over having to share your attention.

On the other hand, your determination may help them succeed. If they do bond, that would be super. I would only caution you to keep in mind their stress levels. Some people will spend months and months trying to bond 2 rabbits, but at some point, that constant stress will outweigh the benefits for the rabbits. You've only had them a week though and are about to give them a break, so that clock won't start ticking until you start again.