14 year old daughter driving me crazy

[Wabbitdad12]

This couple are adults by legal definition only. This is hard to believe that parents would do something like this. To call them morons would be an insult to morons.

He must feellike a big tough manto attack a 13 & 14 year old.

With the witnessess and video evidence the couple will probably still deny it. What twits!

 

[myLoki]

What a b****d?! How could he just stand there and incite that way?! He should be in jail like...right now. I really hope your daugher and niece are ok. Quick recovery!


Also, I can't help but feel a little defensive of our position. (I'm an elementary school teacher.) We're over-worked, under-paid, and entirely under-staffed. I can honestly say I try my very best to provide modifications for all of my Special Ed. and 504 students. It's hard work. People who get into this field because they like the summers and weekends off don't stick around very long. You have to do it for the kids. We stay late and go in early and its till never enough. We spend more than half our "teaching time" with discipline. I hate to say it but the majority of our "behavior kids" lack something at home. *I'm not saying that is the case here because you're obviously trying very hard.* We get no help from home but we're supposed to "fix" this kid AND teach everyone everything they need to know to pass the standardized test because guess what... we get our butts kicked if the kids aren't passing. "Why aren't these kids passing? What are you doing wrong?" What am I doing wrong?! Well, I dunno... most of these kids are not at grade level because they never stop talking or sit still enough to listen to what I'm saying. I try to add as many manipulatives and games to help the kids understand the concept but some just mess around. What people don't know about No Child Left Behind is that it is leaving more children behind than ever before. Did you know that a 6th grade special ed. student that is functioning at a 1st grade level now has to be given 6th grade work? Can you just imagine how unendingly frustrated this child gets? I see it every day. She is just not capable of that level and I have to force it on her. It's just so frustrating for both of us.


Wow that got long winded. I'm sorry. It's just so frustrating.

t.

ps This is not intended to offend. I apologize if it makes anyone feel uncomfortable but I want to add a different perspective.


Bo B Bunny wrote:

I hate when schools aren't helpful. I've seen a lot of kids suffer because of that.

*edited for language *

 

[JadeIcing]

I give you credit and some teachers I know. I also know what it is like to have some really messed up teachers. To have them dismiss a child as a problem child even though it is clear something is wrong. Shoot even after knowing it they still dismiss that child.

I also know what it is like to have a teacher say that because you didn't get something you were useless and would never amount to anything.

I had over-worked, underpaid, understaffed teachers who were still amazing an so encouraging.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

MyLoki, I understand completely but honestly there are 2 sides to the coin. I know people just like you say - trouble at home and obviously the parents are clueless. I saw things going on with friends' and family and just had to sit back and watch because if I said anything - of course I would be the vile witch ya know?

I also had a son ina private school that couldn't seem to get the teachers to have someone help my son check his bookbag at the end of the day to make sure he had everything. He would freak if he had to go back into the building to get something (I would check his bag) and if we didn't catch something missed - OMG at home the entire night was a battle because of his perfectionism. This is a kid who COULD have an IEP, COULD use other things but functioned very very well and brought their overall testing scores up when he scored 99.9% in certain areas (they can't give 100% on those)

Why? because they were lazy and annoyed if they had to do anything extra - when they had it easy as anything since it was a private school.

One of my closest friends is a teacher and one of my clients. My client who is a teacher has told me that they don't even bother sending homework because it doesn't get done. She teaches in Indianapolis.

Each situation is different I guess.... but I appreciate the input - I did say that "I hate it WHEN.... " which means I do hate that ... but I also hate when parents don't do what they should and leave it on the school.

I helped develope a plan for the children in that school my son went to. It helped with all children who had problems with getting things done..... mainly adhd kids. I provided large bags of bubblegum. If they got their "tasks" for the day - 3 at first.. important things like homework, raising their hand (my son would yell out lol like horseshack - I KNOW! - impulsive!) and packing up for home - they got a piece of gum at the end of the day!

LITTLE things like that made a huge difference for 3rd grade kids! and they still use the plan for some kids.

Parents have to be involved..... regardless of disorders..... kids need the parents to know what is going on.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

bat42072 wrote:

i blame her parents for bringing her there for that reason...if he had a problem he should have come to us and not attack the girls...

I agree but SERIOUSLY - if they are just bickering over boys.... that's like a rite of teenage girls! ALL of them do it!

 

[myLoki]

These people are an embarrassment to the profession. To call a child useless?! They should be stripped of their license, tarred, and feathered. The will never know the joy of working with a student and slowly watching them grow. I can understand the frustration. There are days where I'm tutoring a few students (these boys are as bad as they come; one is a second grader that can't read and ADHD, a 5th grader that is oppositional defiant, and a first grader that has extreme anger issues and a "runner" meaning he runs away when he gets angry) where I just have to step out of the room for a minute and do some breathing exercises. It's easy teaching the kids that appreciate you, but the ones that throw kicks at you, pretend to fall asleep, and are in need of restraining because they run out of the school and into the street... those are days when I wish I'd stayed in bed. Believe it or not I have a couple of scars from restraining that one particular student. Stronger than they look...


t.

JadeIcing wrote:

I give you credit and some teachers I know. I also know what it is like to have some really messed up teachers. To have them dismiss a child as a problem child even though it is clear something is wrong. Shoot even after knowing it they still dismiss that child.

I also know what it is like to have a teacher say that because you didn't get something you were useless and would never amount to anything.

I had over-worked, underpaid, understaffed teachers who were still amazing an so encouraging.

 

[bat42072]

I am not ptting teachers down... we have some wonderful teachers but there are a few you wonder why they get in this profession... I understand that they go thru alot... and i know that i couldn't deal with that many children... its hard enough with mine.. my thing is when you tell the school there is a problem going on they don't do anything about it... the girl that got in a fight with my neice and daughter was in a fight with another girl earlier that day on school campus... my nephew saw it... the school did not know about it... they were suposed to call my nephew in the office and ask him about it and who else saw it... they never did...

as for the other thing... we heard they arrested that guy but i have not been able to confirm it ... or even if he was arrested for this incident or when the police got to his house if he gave them problems... i was under the impression that they were waiting a couple of days so the DA could get the case in order... they wanted to file 2 different charges of assault of a minor...they want him to get more time in the pen..

 

[bat42072]

they did not arrest the man yet... i heard that he paid is daughter $100 fight them ... not sure how true it is...

 

[bat42072]

Update:

hubby went to sign the papers to press charges... the detective was saying this is an open and shut case... he is saying that he didn't do it..but there are several witnesses the tape of it wasn't very good the kid filming it was shaking really bad... they are waiting for 2 witnesses to fill out their statements one is my neices dad where she called him saying: Daddy help... this man got me and then the phone went dead... that was when the man thru her... and another grown up saw what happened from his window and he is going to fill out a statement... The detective says their is a long line of officers wanting to be the ones to arrest this man for what he did... and the detective also said she called him white trash for what he has done to the girls...

 

[Wabbitdad12]

That is good news to hear!

 

[trailsend]

Gosh.. I am just so sorry this happened. But am so relieved to hear they are going to give it to this guy.

 

[bat42072]

just an update... they were suposed to arrest the gut today... haven't heard though

 

[angoragrl]

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter and your neice.

I wanted to let you know that your daughter sounds a lot like my little sister. At about the age that your daughter is, my parents started having a lot of problems with her (she has ADHD too). She has always had trouble in school, but not real behavioral issues, and she started lashing out at home A LOT. This corresponded with a change in her medicines too. After they got her medicines back in order, she got much better. The hormones were playing a big role too and unfortunately, those don't go away!

You posted a while ago about how people used to not want your daughter to come spend the night because, they couldn't handle her, I cannot tell you how much that sounds like my lil sis! She was a crazy kid for sure, but then again, I was too, I think that a lot of that is probably immaturity, and I say that because I was one of those "too smart for their own britches know it alls" when I was that age too, but I grew out of it. My sister is now almost eighteen and about to go to college next year, she's still a bit fiesty at times, but she's come a long way. . . . I promise, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

[bat42072]

thank you... since we took her off the new med... the school has noticed a big difference in her attitude... so hopefully things are looking up already...