14 year old daughter driving me crazy

[Bo B Bunny]

Sorry, I was only trying to help. I get a bit passionate about kids and their health issues. When I dealt with the whole dianosis thing it was ok but my cousin's son is an adult now and completely a mess cause his doctors messed up so bad with him.

Might be a co-morbid condition she's having trouble with too.... ODD - oppositional Defiant Disorder. The medicines can sometimes cause peaks in other symptoms.

I wouldn't want to reach into the trash either...... but if my children used that sort of language to a teacher or anyone at any time - they'd be basically wishing they were dead over their punishment - lots of nasty work you can make a kid do in the country!

I can't imagine a medicine causing that part of it, is all. I thought maybe she had something other than ADHD. Those conditions that entwine together can be quite confusing.

I'm glad you had all the tests and such. I was just concerned. I've seen so many kids go through stuff cause some stupid teacher or school nurse decided they had to have medicine and a doctor thinks they can diagnose the problem.

When did they diagnose her, though? Seems really late at 14. I wonder if I wouldn't want to have someone check her hormone levels.... could be something more in that area... I know I've read someplace there can be big issues there.

Good luck. I know it's a pain and it's hard on the entire household when they are having trouble. :hug:

 

[GoinBackToCali]

Funny, I was thinking it did sound alot like ODD... which Blake supposedly has. But, the business end of a pigstick pretty much worked that out of him.

Ya'll can condemn me for that now.. but I make no apologies. We reached a point where my son used alot of his disorders as crutches, and milked them for all it was worth.

My son's issues really started manifesting themselves around 2nd and 3rd grade. By 4th grade he was a train wreck. 14 just seems a bit past the age group for alot of those disorders..

 

[Bo B Bunny]

We threatenLuke with military school. He did some of the same thing with his ADHD - milked it - or tried to..... but we nipped that in the bud real quick!

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

We should form some sort of RO day care for young teens in which we make them shovel poop and poke them with pig stickers at random intervals throughout the day. We'll keep to a tight schedule so the kids have no room or reason to complain and milk their problems.

We'll start the day around 7....they can come to my house and shovel horse poop for an hour, then clean my rabbit house, feed and water the bunnies. Around 9 will jabthem with a pig sticker a couple times.

Sometime around 12 we'll break for a well balanced lunch of various tranquilizers and maybe some sandwhiches.

We'll turn out model citizens by the end of the week.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

:laughsmiley:

 

[bat42072]

she has been to several doctors and we have been dealing with this... we know our daughter... when her meds is right she is not this way... I don't beleive in medicating unless it is need... I would not just put her on meds unless we knew for sure that is what it is.. she was seen and all the test have been run... you don't know her you don't know what has been done ... I don't mean to be rude but until you have a gegree in this subject then you need not judge... she doesn't usually do this and the only time she gets in a fight is to defend herself... she is usually a great kid... I hope that i did not make anyone mad... we tried not giving her the meds function.. her attention spand is really really bad...

I don't let her use her adhd as an excuse...

 

[bat42072]

Bo... she got punished for that... i do not tolerate my kids treating teachers like that or any other person... She has since opologized to the teachers on her own that day... and we still punished her...

 

[bat42072]

she has been on concert for the past 6 years and thn it wasn't working that well so they added strattera to it... nd that is when we started having this behavoir... it was a trial thing before they change the concerta... now we have to go to a new doc. who does not know her history...

 

[Becknutt]

Certain combos of medication work well for certain people, if you find something that works stick with it. I have to physically stand in the dr office and demand that they not change my aunts medications. The first thing a new dr does, or when some new med comes out is change her meds. I'm the one that gets to clean up the mess it causes, so I started taking a stand. I will not allow them to change her meds. It's a completely different issue, she is schizophrenic among other things but still if you know what works, keep her on it. Don't listen to the speeches about this new better medication...

I wish we could neuter away the teenage attitude, LOL! My daughter is just getting to that stage. She has always been a good kid, A+ gate student (ADHD, btw) She is just getting into lying about everything...and her "I know everything" attitude is liable to kill me.

 

[bat42072]

we asked her dr to change it because it wasn't as effective as it used to be... when her meds work she is wonderful ...I would preferr her not to have to be on meds...My oldest daughter was on meds and we took her off and she is doing awesome... we tried to take my 14 year old off her meds and it was a nightmare...

 

[Bo B Bunny]

It read like she was just diagnosed! I'm sorry!

You're right - we don't know her and I'm not judging - nor was anyone else. You brought it up - we're just kicking around info to you. It's understandable thatit's a touchy subject, tho.Zin and I both have been there done that (Zin has the badge of courage! ) - and I have had some training thankyouverymuch..... I have worked in pharmaceuticals, worked with many special needs children and studied the co-morbid disorders such as ADHD, ODD, and general anxiety disorders in children.

Try handling a child that has asperger's syndrome and is dying from cancer. Been there and it sucked!

Medicinescan be really funny. Case in point. I took a SINGLE nyquil geltab last night and I have not been able to function much today. Usually they don't make a kid start cussing people tho..... HOWEVER Stratterra sometimes does have "mood" related side effects and people react TOTALLY different sometimes.

Docs around here like that drug too - it's a lilly product. Indiana is Lilly headquarters.

Straterra made my son sleep and sleep and sleep. He had been on a small dose adderall for some time and they moved him to adderall xr - NO WAY. He had trouble with everything so finally I took him off all of the medicines and he functions fine. He is a high functioning case tho. He only had 10 mg of adderall at the last point. He wasn't hyper, or anything like that. He just would shut down if he couldn't do things perfect. He's a genius so his grades are great. He's not real social tho.

I'd consider zoloft - do some looking around about it. It has been used for adults with ADHD and it can help if there are some issues like PMDD going on with her.BUT be aware thatit works in similar ways as Stratterra. Stratterra works on the norepinephrine and Zoloft works on the serotonin. You would really have to be watching her and tell the school maybe? I liked trying the new medicines over breaks.

Concerta is a form of ritalin. It works as a stimulant (you probably know that) so depending upon how it was not working for her now - that's probably why they tried the Stratterra - to get her off the stimulants. (did she have episodes of being depressed or of being grouchy?)

Doctors cling to those drugs they feel best using..... they use them all the time. Not every kid will do well with those drugs. If you haven't already - start telling the doc what you think might work and ask him his opinion. Do the research if you haven't and then see what symptoms she has that you would like her to get help with.

Good luck. I'm sorry if I offended you before. Honestly I was just trying to give you some info

 

[JadeIcing]

Shhhh I should be on meds for a few things but I don't like them. Ifuction better with out them. Or atleast the voices tell me Ido.

I grew up with my brother who I nicknamed Pharmacy Boy. :biggrin2:He neededseveral medications to control his VAST amount of issues. He CAN NOT function without meds. He has tried that is why he was hospitilized SEVERAL times. Most times he told us I need to go in. He knows when he needs it. The last time was not long ago. I was so proud because this time he had to do it. He is 21 an adult for the most part. Yea he has a LONG way to go but he made it this far without getting in anyy major problems.

Try to use it as a crutch?? My mother would knock that right out him. That there were times where when adjusting meds he would lose it oh yea. Curse? Oh god no. I am 25 and married....I still can not curse in front of my mom. Mind you she could teach a sailor.

Anywayz I know one of the worst times with these kids is when meds are being adjusted. So I feel for you. We are here for you to vent.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

That's right!

Also, Ali, that's what I decided for my son. The problems with the medicines were worse than dealing with his social issues and maybe not getting 100% on every single thing. Most of the time he does or even over that. He's a straight A student. My niece - she HAS to have her medicine or someone might kill her.

 

[bat42072]

the school is no help ... we really wanted her off all meds... we tried it for 6 months and she could not function at school or home... i don't let her use it as a crutch...

 

[Bo B Bunny]

I hate when schools aren't helpful. I've seen a lot of kids suffer because of that.

Well, I sure hope your new doc figures it out so she can get on ok and you can destress some. It's so hard on everyone in the family sometimes, too. Plus as parents we want to "fix" our kids cause it hurts too much to see them suffering in any form.

Keep us posted. We'll be thinking of all of you

 

[bat42072]

sorry i have not been on ...I was not home i was at the hospital with said daughter ... yesterday evening my daughter was with my neice at a park ... when a man, his wife , his daughter and 2 cousins showed up... he sicked his daughter on my neice and daughter and when they defended theirselves he attacked them and the mom kept yelling for them to beat the fudgeing b***'s ass... he broke almost broke my daughters nose and he picked them upp and thru them to the ground... i got a call from the paramedic that my daughter was in an altercation... the baseball coach across the street saw it and ran the guy off... someone got it on video and his license plate ... the police have not arrested him yet because they are getting the case together they are going for two felony acounts... they are also going after mom for egging it on... my neice got the worst of it... she has several nots on her head... the girl bit her and left a golf ball size not on her arm... my daughter is so scared that this man is going to come after her again that she won't eat... apparently my neice and this girl have been bickering back and forth for several days now... the girl lives in the next town but goes to our school... she (the girl) rode the bus that she wasn't on and had her dad meet them there and she pointed the girls out to him ... they left and came back in a different vehicle with more people... we have plenty of witnesses to the incident...


*edited for language *

 

[JadeIcing]

:XI eant to find this guy and beat the living daylights out of him.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

WHAT THE HECK!?!??! Why on Earth would this man and his family do that? An adult acting like that??!?!! and then this girl and....

Well, they should charge him and her and the mother!

So your daughter and niece are ok, tho, nothing broken or anything? is your niece the same age?

Too bad the baseball coach didn't use a baseball bat on the idiot dad! :X

 

[bat42072]

my neice is 13... they are both ok... we want to find him and beat the crap out of him... but that won't help the case... we are pretty much asured that he will go to prison... it is on tape him attacking the girls... i didn't get to see the tape yet but i will.... my neice got the worst of it... he choked her and slammed her into the ground... she has several knots on her head and bruises on her kneck...she lives closer to them and i don't even know what he looks like... i am hoping he already has a record so he will get in worst trouble... this guy knbows there name and where they go to school... I am worried about his daughter she didn't go to school today... if he would do this to someone elses kid then what would he do to his own... he was supose d to go to the school for a meeting and he didn't show up... the girls are not going to school for the rest of this week... to let tempers die down... i am trying to keep other kids from getting even with this other girl... there are high school friends of my other daughter wanting to get involved... i am not blaming the other girl... i blame her parents for bringing her there for that reason...if he had a problem he should have come to us and not attack the girls...

 

[trailsend]

This is outrageous... I am so glad they will be O.K., but how awful. I just can't stand hearing things like this - it's horrible enough with kids, but adults going after children? I hope they lock him up and make his life miserable. I agree with Bo - it is too bad the coach didn't let him have it with the bat.