Thanks everyone. I wish I could say I was doing well. I'm not. It sounds strange - bawling so much over losing a 9 day old baby. This was one baby I wanted so d-mn much....and it was one baby who was cuddling with me (even at an early age). It was going to be a major MAJOR part of my breeding program...
Losing this baby was losing a dream and yes, I can breed again and yes I can get other babies.
I've had three babies though that snuggled with me like that from day one. One is my Harriet - my chestnut buck who I adore. Another one was Jacques who died suddenly at 6 weeks of age (he had been sickly from the start).
To lose this one...and in this way - I'm just FURIOUS.
I did something that was very very hard for me to do. I picked up Twix and I held her and I told her, "You took something away from me that I loved dearly and was very very important to me. I want to hate you right now. I want to be mad at you and I want to hurt you because of my grief. But I am going to hold you close and love you and pet you because you did not understand."
I made myself pet her - and love her - and I asked Art & Robin to pet her also.
Of course - she didn't WANT to be petted. But I knew that if I didn't hold her in the midst of the worst of my grief...I would never touch her or look at her again if I could help it.
Anyway - I'm hurting really badly right now - and I don't feel like I can post in Rainbow Bridge...after all...we're talking about a 9 day old kit...didn't even have its eyes open.
But it was my MUNCHKIN and I loved it anyway. I will share the last few pictures and videos of it soon...I promise.
But right now I'm just hurting too much to do much in this thread. The only comfort that I have right now is that Munchkin is with Ginger and Drew and the others. But I wanted him/her with me...watching tv like we did the other night with the baby snuggled into my hand and nuzzling me...
Peg
Thumpers_Mom wrote:
:hug:I hope you are doing well Peg. I'm sorry for your loss.:tears2: