Vulgarity in Email?

[TinysMom]

I am probably going to stir up a controversial topic and I don't mean to. First...a bit of background.

I'm a "40-something" woman who was brought up by an older mom (now 78) who would've washed my mouth out with soap (after tanning my hide) if I used vulgarity in the house. My husband was brought up the same way....although he does hear vulgarity at work (I've never heard him use it though).

This last week I got my first email with vulgarity in it - from someone who was a friend (I had been trying to retain some friendships - but have let them go). I was shocked at the number of "D" words and "F-ing" words in the email.....especially since the person has complained before to me and others about getting "nasty emails with foul language".

I know - I'm naieve. I never experienced this before....

So my question is - when you use vulgarity in an email - is it to make a point? To make yourself sound better than the other person? To just be vulgar?

And if you get an email filled with this language - do you just delete it and move on? Respond?

I did respond (without using the same language)...and then I showed the email to my kids since they go to a state school and I'm sure they've experienced vulgarity. My son laughed and said, "Don't worry....their "F" key will wear out soon..." My daughter? As a former English major - she only said, "They need a thesaurus mom..".

Anyway - I've blocked any future emails....so I'm not worried about it....and I've moved on....but....I guess I'm just not used to this and was curious about it. Art says its pretty common with the internet nowadays...

Peg

 

[hummer]

No, I just don't see the need for them. And with 2 little girls who are in the "monkey see/hear, monkey do/say" stage, my words are boogers, darn it, stuff like that. Also most of my emails are to my mom and with her being religious, well I do not think that she would appreciate it at all!:thud



(I wish I had all these emoticons in my email, there would be no need for the words with these!:thumbup)

 

[TinysMom]

My husband has never used foul language....and about the worst I ever used was sh--. Usually it was "Oh S...".

So you can imagine how I felt when Robin was less than 18 months old and accidentally locked herself in her bedroom. All we heard reverberating down the hall was her shouting "OH SH--!".

Art& I were making Sunday lunch at the time and he turned to me and said, "Hmm...I wonder where she heard that? I know she didn't hear it from me!!!" (He knew where she heard it).

That was when I really started being diligent about watching my language.....'cause I knew I had two little ones that would imitate me....

Peg

P.S. I really am not trying to criticize those who use vulgarity...but since I am so not used to it - I guess I don't understand how it makes the sender feel or why they use it....

 

[naturestee]

I swear all the time, but not in my emails. It just looks bad when it's typed.

 

[TinysMom]

Ok...I have to 'fess up here. Lately I've used "cr-p" a lot....and I saw something the other day (I don't remember what) and said it- fairly loud.

Tiny thumped at me two or three times and Miss Bea took off running.

So if it isn't my kids....its my rabbits!

Peg

 

[Nessa1487]

Crap is a bad word?......This I didn't know, or I was unaware of. I use that word a lot.

I usually won't swear, unless I'm in a lot of pain..(which seems to be this whole weekend..)and unless I get super duper aggitated. I've also been taught language isn't good, and I don't like using swear words, they just don't sound sophisticated.

 

[HoneyPot]

TinysMom wrote:

So my question is - when you use vulgarity in an email - is it to make a point? To make yourself sound better than the other person? To just be vulgar?

Hmm.. if I use vulgarity in an email it's in response to some sort of provocation. It's to bring a point home because usually the person I am responding to for some reason is not getting what I say whenI say it nicely.

________
Nadia

 

[m.e.]

I don't, because I really try to keep my language clean.

But even if I was in the habit of cursing, I'd be nervous about using vulgarity in e-mail, because it's a lot harder to take back than something that just slips out of your mouth, you know?

As it is, without hearing someone's tone or seeing their facial expression, it's easy to misinterpret internet communication. Add to that a couple foul words, and you could be digging yourself a bigger hole than you intended to :?

 

[Lissa]

I'm a potty mouth. :embarrassed:

 

[slavetoabunny]

I never use vulgarity in emails and, for the most part, don't in my verbal communication either. Oh sure, once in a while an "Oh s*** " pops out in response to an unwelcome event. It really bothers me being around people whose every work is f this and f that.

 

[thor]

I don't use vulgarity myself, but I have seen it in emails from friends.

 

[LuvaBun]

Although I do sometimes let slip bad language in conversation, if I'm really mad or in pain, I never write it, and I don't like to see it written, whether in emails, newspapers or books.Mind you,I don't like to hear it either!

Jan

 

[TinysMom]

Nessa1487 wrote:

Crap is a bad word?......This I didn't know, or I was unaware of. I use that word a lot.

Naw - it isn't really a bad word....I'm just trying to train myself so that sometime down the road when I have grandchildren....my kids don't come to me and say, "Mom...please stop saying, 'crap' around little Suzie 'cause now she's saying it at home...".

My kids look at me when I say it as if to say "come on mom.....".

So I try to say "Sugar" or "Darn"...

But naw - there is nothing wrong with it...

Peg

 

[Lissa]

The only swear words I abide by are those in the Bible.

 

[Nadezhda]

I don't swear in emails. I'm one of those odd teenagers who writes terribly polite emails. It was the same when I first started posting on different message boards, but I've since loosened up a little and allowed more of my personality show

Of course, I am looking towards getting an English Major, and when I was young I had a thesaurus named "Mr. Squickles" :tongue I've since gotten a bigger and better one, that doens't have a name >>

In IM's, though, it's easier to let your mouth get a little loose. Of course, it's rare for me, as I'm more likely to use something stupid instead of a swear. My intellectual friends and I make fun of people who use chatspeak by occaisonally saying something like:

"OMGZWTFBBQ, wut? U n00b"

instead of something vile

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

Lissa wrote:

I'm a potty mouth. :embarrassed:

Me too... Well sorta.

I was raised a potty mouth but I've attempted to retrain myself. I've discovered when I hear it come out of other women's mouths, it sounds so low class and unintelligent. Something I myself, don't care to project.

It's one of those things that makes people instantlyjudge you, whether you like it or not. It's a tough habit to break when you've been raised around it, but well worth the makeover.

Raspberry

 

[TinysMom]

I've really enjoyed this discussion and once again - I wasn't trying to criticize those or speak differently than I do....I simply wanted to understand it since it is so foreign to me...and a lot of times I think it is a generation thing since I think I was brought up by a mother who would've done well living in the middle ages or something!

Peg

 

[RaspberrySwirl]

I think it's been an interesting thread too! I don't think you came across as critical at all.

Raspberry

 

[thor]

Oh! I'm so totally into thesaurases! (sorry for the spelling-gosh dang! that's embarassing!)..

 

[stanleysmommy]

I never swear or anything because I just don't like it and find it pretty disgusting.
The closest I use is cr-p also, and kind of a lot but it's usually either messing around, or if I'm upset.

But in highschool- man, way different. I think they just do it there and not around parents, and it's probably because they're trying to be cool or something but I hate it.

Usually you can't hear someone say anything without a 'word' in it.
Especially the 'F' word. :censored2
It's used so much it's ridiculous and that's the word I hate the most. It isn't necessary at all.

It makes me so mad, I just wanna smack the person.:banghead