The Enderbies get Kicked Out

[JAK Rabbitry]

I'm a great person!

Yeah, I dress nice when I turn in my applicatio nand resume, I callback, I call and call and call and go in store and ask. My persistanceso far hasn't paid off.



Snuffles wrote:

Hey Jesse,

I just wanted to chime in. First off, I'm very sorry you have to go through this. Seriously.

Something I thought of. Make sure your resume doesn't haveanymisspellings, just something for an employer not to callyou for. Have you tried calling some of the places that youapplied? You should. Just say who you are and thatyou're calling to check the status of yourapplication/resume. Ask if they're still hiring.Sometimes if you're perisitant, it pays off in the long run.I know people that have done this and got the job, weird, huh?

Also, how old are you? Are you 18 yet? Once youare, you can apply for government assistance and just see whathappens. Since you and Erron are not married, you should beable to get something once you move out, so that would help to pay foran apartment or bills. I understand that this is somethingthat won't happen right away, I just wanted to give you some ideas andsomething to look forward to, some hope. :hug:

I wish you luck with everything. You're a great person! :heartbeat:

Crystal

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

Thank you for all your thoughts and shtuff.

I forgot to answer that I will be 20 this summer.

There's a farm going up for sale real cheap out by my cousin, its forrent now, and may go up for rent with option to buy. That would be tooperfect. It has 10 acres and a barn. I can keep my horses and bunniesand doggy is free to poo where he pleases.

REally the situation is awful. I hate him so much. He'll be home inlike 10 minutes and I plan on hiding the rest of the day, as usual. Helikes to whip open my door like he owns the place. Sometimes when I'mgetting dressed I realize I forgot to lock my door...this could be bad.One time my dad DID fling open the door while I was changing and I DOVEJames Bond style behind my bed. He absolutely didn't care that ithappened, just yelled at me for having my door shut. Thats rudeand....creepy.

 

[katt]

i wish i could offer advise, but i have a pair of those rare find parents that support everything i do.

but i can offer support in finding your way in life without your parents.

i can talk on the mental disorder and tell you that it is okay to getfusterated with it. i have a social anxiety disorder that for manyyears caused me depression and at times even thoughts of suicide. ithink the important thing to do is to find someone to talk to, someonethat you have no inhabitions about what you say (complete strangersworked well for me). it sounds silly, but there are many hotlines thatyou can call and just talk to someone. support groups that you canattend. talk to someone at a local church, talk to you dr., find anonline forum,heck. . .email me. . .just talk to someone. . .

if you can't do that, then create a second email address, and wheneverit all feels like to much, that you just can't hold it all togetheranymore, type an email, write it all down, get it all out. purge yoursystem. and send it to the second email. the important thing is thatwhen you allow all that sadness, fustration, anger, ect to build up, itbrings a depressed person down further. this is normally when peopleattempt suicide or think about it, when it looks like there is no wayout.

if you are bi-polar, or think you are talk to your dr. about medicationand therapy options. it isn't something that isn't going to go away,and there are tons of new medical options for people suffering frommanic depression.

i hope that you can find a place.

i hope that you feel better

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

Thanks for the advice...though... will your perants adopt me? And take me to NDS in MI this year?

I have tried hotlines. One woman I was talkign to like...shrugged meoff and ''let me go''. It was like she'd had enough of me andkept...dismissing me. ''Ok hun well I hope you feel better, have a goodnight..." wtf kind of hotline is that?

I did see a doctor about my bipolarness for like 2 years. I was onlarge of amounts of lots of different meds. I just got headaches andnothing accomplished and I had to get bloodwork done every few weeksand one time they made me collect pee for 24 hours. That was weird.

No need for a second email address... I have RO And Livejournal.

I just remembered this picture I had....




katt wrote:

i wish i could offer advise,but i have a pair of those rare find parents that support everything ido.

but i can offer support in finding your way in life without your parents.

i can talk on the mental disorder and tell you that it is okay to getfusterated with it. i have a social anxiety disorder that for manyyears caused me depression and at times even thoughts of suicide. ithink the important thing to do is to find someone to talk to, someonethat you have no inhabitions about what you say (complete strangersworked well for me). it sounds silly, but there are many hotlines thatyou can call and just talk to someone. support groups that you canattend. talk to someone at a local church, talk to you dr., find anonline forum,heck. . .email me. . .just talk to someone. . .

if you can't do that, then create a second email address, and wheneverit all feels like to much, that you just can't hold it all togetheranymore, type an email, write it all down, get it all out. purge yoursystem. and send it to the second email. the important thing is thatwhen you allow all that sadness, fustration, anger, ect to build up, itbrings a depressed person down further. this is normally when peopleattempt suicide or think about it, when it looks like there is no wayout.

if you are bi-polar, or think you are talk to your dr. about medicationand therapy options. it isn't something that isn't going to go away,and there are tons of new medical options for people suffering frommanic depression.

i hope that you can find a place.

i hope that you feel better

 

[katt]

i am not sure how my parents would feel aboutgetting another child and another set of rabbits (or in your case, manyrabbits) just when they are moving me out!!!

is it possible you were overmedicated? that is what is sound to me. tomuch meds is just as bad as not enough when it comes to most mentaldisorders. i know someone that is severly depressed and she didn'tattemp suicide untill she was getting nearly 2 times the amount of heranti-depressant then what she needed (stupid dr. . .)

i am sorry that your experiance with a hotline was terribly, that isthat last thing that someone needs when called one, is to be completelybrushed off. . .

i suggest hopeline.

http://www.hopeline.com/

many people think that hotlines are stupid, but they really aren't,many do help people constantly and they offer great advice and anoutsiders point of view.

you are lucky to have RO(just like everyone else that is an RO memberis lucky). . .everyone here seems to care about the worldunconditionally. . .and that seems to be a rare find in today's world.. .

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

YAR!
I'm not much for talking on the phone. I hate it ever since my ex mademe talk to him on the phone all day every day. day and fricking night,I just can't stand being on the phone iwth anyone for more than aminute.

They started me on low dose of meds, and gradually increased it... so I don't think I was over medicated.

RO is the shizzle.

I usualyl go on Buddypic and find morons to talk to, not so much aboutmy problems, but just being able to have an intelligent conversationwith somebody is a welcomed distraction. Though BP boasts an uncannyamount of idiots. Its often comical.



katt wrote:

i am not sure how my parentswould feel about getting another child and another set of rabbits (orin your case, many rabbits) just when they are moving me out!!!

is it possible you were overmedicated? that is what is sound to me. tomuch meds is just as bad as not enough when it comes to most mentaldisorders. i know someone that is severly depressed and she didn'tattemp suicide untill she was getting nearly 2 times the amount of heranti-depressant then what she needed (stupid dr. . .)

i am sorry that your experiance with a hotline was terribly, that isthat last thing that someone needs when called one, is to be completelybrushed off. . .

i suggest hopeline.

http://www.hopeline.com/

many people think that hotlines are stupid, but they really aren't,many do help people constantly and they offer great advice and anoutsiders point of view.

you are lucky to have RO(just like everyone else that is an RO memberis lucky). . .everyone here seems to care about the worldunconditionally. . .and that seems to be a rare find in today's world.. .

 

[maherwoman]

Hey you...

I wanted to start off by saying that I'm so sorry I haven't been in AIMas much lately as usual...for some reason it's never just there when Icome to the computer in the morning, like it was when I left it for thenight. Haven't figured out what's what with that quite yet.

Anyway, I'm here, I'm signed on, and I'm more than willing totalk...and know VERY PERFECTLY where you're coming from. Mymother was exactly the same way, and I wound up very mentally ill whileliving with her and for quite a while after leaving her house...until Irealized here and now that my environment was actually safe.When you've been in one that you cannot relax in, for as long as youhave (and I did) things will start to go wrong mentally. Iknow where you're at. I was tested out in being on Zoloft fora year...and felt like a complete zombie and HATED IT.

Bottom line: I know all too well where you're at...and I'm here foryou. I'll check with my hubby to see if he's been closingAim, or if it's been closing on it's own, or what...and we'll handle itso that it's on all the time. Feel free to drop me a line, ok?

In reading the things your dad's said to you...it's haunting...they'rethe same things my mother's said and done to me. I know howit is to feel stuck...and I can help ya out...just let me know, ok?

And, believe me, no thinking of you as a child, or anything like thathere...I know EXACTLY where you're at...and understandcompletely. (Though I don't think Pam meant what she saidquite that way, I can understand how you interpreted it as such.)

So...write me, ok? Don't let yourself fall off the deep enduntil you've talked to me, ok? You're a very dear friend tome...and it really kills me to hear someone going through the samethings I did...let me help, ok?

Love ya, Girl...

RosieButt*

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

ARGH. Its not much better here.
The other day woke up to an entire family of people flippingout. So I layed in bed and cried. I cannot STAND any kind of yellingwhatsoever. My family does nothing but yell and scream all the frickigntime. If mum needs somebody, she'll scream for them. And what reallysucks....is most of the time i' mstanding right next to her....and i'llbe inthe middle of a conversation with her and she'll just stop toscream ''HANNAH!!! COME GTE YOUR THINGY OFF THE FLOOR!" Like she wasnever even listening. Its like, double rude, bonus points for yellingin my ear. +50XP, my mother has just leveled to an L3 Banshee. You nowhave the ability to rupture ear drums and send your eldest daughter toher room for 3 days to recooperate. Roll two D6 to see if youcan convince her you won't do it again.

And my sister just randomly screams when she gets angry. If she can'tget something into place on her Bratz car, if the dog walks off withher sock, if he oatmeal isn't to her liking, put on your headphones andblast the silence and you just MIGHT be spared some emotional tormentfor hte next half hour. Don't even thin kabout asking her to stop. Theparentals will jsut get angry if you're ''not nice'' to her.

I think this is one of those things that happened all the time when youwere litte and you associated it with negativity, and then it stayswith you whenever you're older.

I was watching show once, and this chick was a diver, and they werelooking for a body at night...all the divers had green glow sticks.When she was underwater and broke her stick, she panicked and flippedout and had to be rescued.
She later spoke to her mum about her panic attack, and her motherfrowned and told her when she was just a little girl...her father orstepfther got angry with her and threw her in the jacuzzi (which wasgreen), and closed the lid and turn the bubbles on and she nearlydrowned. The light(green from reflecting) and the bubbles and beingunderwater and the panic she felt long ago all came flooding back.

Its like that. I go into absolute fits of panic and anxiety. I try tojust go to sleep because if I try to endure it I'll throw up from beingso worked up. I feel so incredibly scared and panicked....rabbit in awolf's den. And this happens daily.

I'm so unbelieveably stressed out all the time and it definitelyshowing. MY skin is falling off in big flakes, I look like I haveeczema. And when I brush my hair...there's always a big pile of hair atmy feet that's fallen outw ithin a few stroked. And after each brushingI have to clean my hairbrush.

It stresses out Erron too, While he's sitting at his computer Iseriously pick grey hairs of of him. There's a LOT ofthem too. I coudlmake a nice little lock of them and you'd swear I was dating an oldman. They're perfectly silver, from root to tip.

My friend has a parrot she adopted from some lady. The parrot is sweetas can be, it lays on its back and cuddles. But if you wear glasses,forget it. She'll bite and scratch and become a demon. In her formerhome....the male in the family had glasses and was mean to her. Evenafter all these years, she still hasn't forgotten.
And even after all these years, neither have I. It doesn't even have to be my family. I cannot stand anyone yelling.

''Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned''.

And i'm desperately trying to move out and get everything in order butI have to drag Erron through everything. If I don't bother him about ithe won't do anything. I'm about to throw in the towel and tell him ifhe really wants to marry me he can plan the whole darn wedding to makeup for being a turd last year.


$^%$&*&$&%$@^%@^&^%@*
Here are a bunch of frustration symbols.

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

I also would like to add that my dad is keepinghis outside dog in our basement right now. She's like 15 years old andin the ''not doing good stage''. Can't walk straight or at all, laysdown all day. That sort of thing. So he bruoght her inside and layeddown a bunch of blankets for her.

Well she's an outside dog...she's old...and therefore she smells ratherawful. And to top it off, she's not house trained and can't move aroundtoo much....so she pees on her blanket and lays in it and poops allover the floor down there.


But I'm not allowed to keep my rabbits int he house because theystink...even though I clean teh cage regularly. And when I told him howsick they were and how rare they are, I get cursed and ''F this'' and''F that'' and ''I don't effing care''.

Hypocritical? You think?

I woudl say either the dog goes back outside or my rabbits should beallowed to come in. But I can't kick Scruffy out because I'm notsoulless.


Dear Dad

I Hate you

Love,
-Jesse

 

[Bassetluv]

(((Jesse)))

Afraid I don't have much in the way of suggestions for you, other thanyou need to get out of there now. But then, you already knowthis. Such negative environments are so caustic to one's well-being,and when you can't change the situation, it will eventually take anincredible toll.

I must say that my family life was greatly disfunctional when I wasgrowing up. From the time I was little - actually I can't even rememberwhen it began - I went through both sexual and verbal abuse from mydad. He also verbally abused one of my brothers, and to this day Istill see the damage in him that it did. My dad wasn't one to yell andscream, but we kids sure were...we fought like mad dogs at times....alla result of the disfunctional environment. When my mother died I was 10years old, and went through an additional pain of losing her, ofblaming her for 'abandoning' me, of believing that she loved my sisterbut didn't love me, and of thinking that I was to blame for all ofit...for the abuse as well as my mother's death. I suffered for manyyears after that, carried around an awful lot of self-hatred, and woundup in a marriage that was doomed to fail.

But one thing I wanted to share was my feelings toward my dad. I hatedhim so deeply for so many years, I could have cared less whether helived or died. I blamed him for scarring me and for all of the pain andsuffering. Yet what I didn't realize until many years later was thatthe blame and anger and hatred I felt toward him because of his actionswere only serving one purpose...they were destroying me. So Ibegan to face my feelings and all of the inner demons that went alongwith them, and wound up finally being able to forgive him fully. Andthe day I was able to do that, I was also finally able to forgivemyself. On the surface I'd always known I wasn't to blame, but deepwithin me the blame and anger had turned toward myself. As humans we'regreat at self-deprecation, especially when the initial cause of the badenvironment or situations is a parent.

I just wanted to tell you this as a friend, because I'd hate to see youwind up carrying around enormous anger and pain for years to come.Right now I can guess that you're hurting a lot, and while you arestill in the situation it's going to be very hard to not feel thoseemotions. You need to get out of there, and then once you have, allowyour anger to come out...through a psychologist, a church, a goodfriend who will listen...any way that will let you express it. And thenyou will be ready for the healing process...of letting go of the painand of forgiving, at least as much as you can. The way I decided toforgive my dad was to see him as he really was...he was a little boy inan adult's body, reliving all of the experiences he'd gone through as achild. And the abuse, in all its forms, had nothing to do withme...just as your dad's abuse has nothing to do with you. It'sabout whatever pain he is carrying around inside, and he doesn't knowhow to relieve it, so he lashes out.

Enormous(((HUGS))) to you Jesse...and I'm praying that youcan get out of there as soon as humanly possible. You're an incrediblystrong person, and a very special one.
:hug1

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

Thanks for the hugs.
I was surprised to see how many people had goen through such abuse onthe forum. It makes me think where the fudge are the laws and people toprotect people and children from this? Laws are meant ot be broken Iguess... and that being said, the laws of man are pointless. I thinkall the bad people should haveto wear shock collars. But men have towear them on their googoo.

I don't know if simply moving out and talkign to people is going to domuch good. Scars don't heal. You just try to forget about them after awhile or smear some makeup on.

I was in a very abusive relationship with a boy for a year and a halfbefore Erron. He would mock me, yell at me, call me names, punch me,and carve words into my arm with knives. Everything I did was wrong.And whatever he wanted from me he got. I was beaten down and madeworthless. I wasn't allowed to talk to my friends or see my horse or doanything. It was Erron that helped me to leave him. Even though I wasbanned from speaking to Erron.

After we broke up, the emotional toll it had on me was stillsignificant. I still felt like poop all the time. Lower than poop.Things that feed on poop.

Its been over 3 years since then, and It still keeps me awake at night.And it still bothers me no matter how many times I've talked about it.I still cry when things happen...wondering if maybe he was right and Ireally am awful. He called me last month and cried hismelf, and said hewas so so sorry for everything he had ever doen to me and it was wrongand he hates himself for it and if I never forgive him he'd understandand if he could ever make it up to me, he'd do anything. IT was nice toget a sincere appology, it provided a lot of closure for me. But thehurt and the actual happenings will never go away.

Thats why I think this issue with my dad will bethe same way. nd evenif I forgive him, i'm still going to suffer for it for the rest of mylife.

You know how the sea wears caves and stuff in the side of cliffs? Howthose cliffs are made out of fricking rock, its very tough and strong.But little by little, the waves crash into it over the years, andeventually that massive pile of rock is full of holes, that can neverbe filled up.

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

JAK Rabbitry wrote:

I think all the bad people should haveto wearshock collars. But men have to wear them on their googoo.

:laugh::bunnydance:

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

What? You think it wouldn't work? I don't have a googoo but lemme tell yeh somethin'.... I wouldn't dare.




AngelnSnuffy wrote:

JAKRabbitry wrote:

I think all the bad peopleshould haveto wear shock collars. But men have to wear them on theirgoogoo.

:laugh::bunnydance:

 

[AngelnSnuffy]

JAK Rabbitry wrote:

What? You think it wouldn't work? I don't have a googoobut lemme tell yeh somethin'.... I wouldn't dare.




AngelnSnuffy wrote:

JAKRabbitry wrote:

I think all the bad peopleshould haveto wear shock collars. But men have to wear them on theirgoogoo.

:laugh::bunnydance:

No, it WOULD work, that's the PROBLEM. :zoro

 

[Bassetluv]

Thats why I think this issue with my dadwill bethe same way. nd even if I forgive him, i'm still going tosuffer for it for the rest of my life.

Wish I had more time to write all that I want to say, Jesse, but am at work right now. So I'll condense...

It's your choice whether you wish to suffer with this for the rest ofyour life. In saying that 'even if I forgive him, I'm going to sufferfor it for the rest of my life'...YOU are the one condemning yourselfto that fate. There is always a choice, in any situation, and since youare the one in control of your life, only you can be the one to chooseto recover from the pain and anger. Jesse, there are ways to overcomeany bad life experience...it just takes a lot of work, determinationand the knowledge that it can be done. Not saying it's easy, but itdefinitely can be done.

Your dad and your ex-boyfriend presented you with some extremelychallenging experiences...but they don't control how you choose toreact. No one can control another's emotions, unless that personchooses to allow it. And you have been gifted with an extremelybrilliant sense of humor, along with great intelligence - it's not hardto see that from your posts - so you have also been given the abilityand strength to sort through the negativity and turn it all around. Itis possible...if anything, I'm living proof.

Oh, and as to seeing a lot of people in the forum who have undergoneabuse in their lives...I have two explanations for that (at least, whatI believe): First, I've found that a great many people who hadundergone tough childhoods turned to animals for companionship, as theyfelt failed by other humans...thus many will be drawn to animal-basedforums; and second, I was amazed when I began sharing with othersonline about my background, just how many people had suffered throughsimilar experiences, or harsher ones, either as children or adults.Abuse in any formis that 'dirty little secret' no one wantsto talk about...but once one person opens up, it gives others theopportunity/strength to say something, oftentimes sharing wounds theyhad never spoken about to anyone previously. Abuse is much more commonthan I was ever led to believe...

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

Hmm. I don't have quite the same beliefs as you.Yeah some people can get over it but it will always be with me and Ican never think positively of it.

Maybe one day i'll become a stand up comic and use my father as thepopular topic of my comedy. Sweet revenge while makingmillions at the same time. I hate to say i'm a vengeful person. Thewhole ''don't get mad, get even'' sort of thing. Come to think ofit....if I get get my dad back somehow without killing hime ordestroying his life completely....I'd feel better.

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

Which brings up another point I thought of.... And I'd like everyone's opinion....

I'm getting married this summer. I know the daddy usually walksthebride down the aisle and gives her away...but I kinda feel uncomfortblewith that, for obvious reasons. Also If you knew how my dad was, Ithink he'd be kind of a dork in that situation. I've been engaged sinceaugust and he hasn't said one word to me about it. It would just beakward. But how can I tell him I don't want him to walk me down theaisle. As much as I hate him I don't want to hurt him....that wouldhurt me too trying to walk down the aisle like princess and stillsmile.

Can anyone perhaps think of some kind of compromise? OR something I cantell him? Oh I dunno .frickign weddings. I want ot live in a hut in therain forest and shoot monkeys.

 

[JadeIcing]

I did not let my dad walk me down the aisle. Hewasn't a father so why should he. My step-dad walked me part way andthan my grandma. I didn't want anyone giving me away but people werebeing stupid.

They don't own me to give me away.

 

[Krissa]

I recommend what I wished I did - elope.

No I don't mean to Vegas or anything like that. Just plan a quietwedding at a place you love. Make it special. Tell everyone you'regetting married, just don't mention a date. Anyway, invite one goodfriend as a witness - or grab someone off the street if your friendscan't keep a secret. Have a romantic dinner afterwards, take somepictures, dress up, get flowers. Just leave all the drama behind.

Remember your wedding is YOUR day. If your family is going to causestress and mess it up, don't invite them. I know it sounds harsh, butthe marriage is really about you and Erron, inviting 500000 people toeat food and spend your money will not make the marriage work anybetter than eloping.

My wedding was stressful because of my mother-in-law trying to controlit, I wanted small, she wanted big. And she wasn't even paying! Lookingback I wish I would have eloped - it would have been more special andthere would not be the scars in my relationship with my mother-in-law.

A nice calm wedding - doesn't that sound good after all the drama in your life?

 

[JAK Rabbitry]

Naw, I don't want a ginormous wedding but I amcloe to my family and friends and I would like to see them present.I've alreayd honored my best friends with the positions of bridesmaidsand they're all excited and I have some special stuff planned to makemy wedding really unique! You just wait.

I don't really have problems with my family, just my dad really. We shall see.