Speaking of kids...

[BEAUKEZRA]

When I was growing up I always thought I would have lots of kids but now I'm 32 and can't decide if I want even one! I've been married for 6 years and at first my husband wasn't sure he wanted any but now he thinks we should. Some days I'm like "Yeah let's have a baby!" but most days I'm like "NOOOOOOOOO!" lol. I don't know how many good child-bearing years I have left before my eggs go bad lol.

I even thought that my bunny fever (always wanting more) was because subconciously I've been yearning for a baby. I need something to take care of.

Oh what to do?

 

[JadeIcing]

Adopt? :biggrin2:I am hoping things go well and we can start the process in 2-3 years.

 

[SnowyShiloh]

I know exactly what you mean. I'm 23 so still have plenty of time. I really like kids and babies, but sometimes it just seems like the day to day care and worrying over them would be really tedious. A lot of my coworkers my age (and younger) have children already, and I'm honestly relieved that I don't. That being said, I do plan on having kids in the future- like Alicia, I've wanted to adopt since I was 10. I want to adopt at least 2 and possibly have a bio child. I've always had China in mind and even took 2 semesters of Chinese in college! China requires parents to be at least 30 before applying, and the whole process takes a couple years (or at least it has lately), and Paul is a year younger than me, so I have at least 10 years before we could adopt!

 

[Alexah]

This is a dilemma I often face myself. I'm 25 and unattached. And in the back of my mind I can't help but keep thinking that I should be married with 3 kids already. But I'm often grateful that that's not the case as I've certainly needed this time to work on myself. But what if I don't find someone soon? What if I never get married? What if I never have children?

I often cry when I'm in department stores and see the children and babies' clothing. I can't help but think "what if." But then I snap back into my rational mind and wonder if I even want the responsibility and heartache of having children. That lets me know right there that I'm clearly not ready. Whether I'm 25 or 50, if I'm having serious doubts before even being pregnant then it's not right for me. And if I wait until I'm 50 and can no longer bear a child...then adoption all the way. There are so many children of all ages and backgrounds who need a loving home.

It's a way serious, forever decision and I think it's great you're acknowledging your feelings. And you don't need to decide today. These days women can have their own children much later in life. You're certainly not too old - there's plenty of time for you and your hubby to decide what's right for you. Good luck and please try not to beat up on yourself. You'll know what to do when and if it's time.

 

[JadeIcing]

SnowyShiloh wrote:

I've always had China in mind and even took 2 semesters of Chinese in college! China requires parents to be at least 30 before applying, and the whole process takes a couple years (or at least it has lately), and Paul is a year younger than me, so I have at least 10 years before we could adopt!

That was one of our choices but sheesh not easy to adopt from them.

 

[Bo B Bunny]

Your risk of having a child with down syndrome increases by like 10% each year at 35 years of age.

If you decide to get preggers - start taking folic acid NOW to help reduce the risk of neurotube defects.

Now that's the medical advice, here's my practical advice.......

Babies are more work than any bunny you could ever have, and you can't just leave them at home if you baby proof.... They can't feed themselves or groom another one if you have twins!

It's difficult and I can tell you that I always knew I'd have a child or 5, but after my second I decided that was enough - I thought about another but the thought now scares the daylights out of me! I want to go in and have my tubes tied, cut burned cauterized, and stoned to death! Don't get me wrong - I love my children - I just don't want anymore to raise right now. Maybe I'll adopt after Lexi gets into high-school, but with a son wanting to be an anesthesiologist (8 years or more of college) I can't afford one LOL!

 

[slavetoabunny]

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I knew early on in my life that I never wanted children. I had my tubes tied when I was 26 years old and have never regreted it. Kids are just not for everyone.

 

[Luvmyzoocrew]

Bo B Bunny wrote:

Babies are more work than any bunny you could ever have, and you can't just leave them at home if you baby proof.... They can't feed themselves or groom another one if you have twins!

OMG that is too funny.

I am getting ready, well in nov , for baby #4. There are days i love my kids then there are days i could sell them on Ebay,lol. No one here can obviously tell you whether or not to have kids or not. I am 33, eeekkk gads that is old lol, and having my last one. I had my first son when i was in my early 20's then we waited and then when trying had difficulties for many years, i was nearly 30 when having my second son and i thought that after having him i wanted no more, i was done. Then i suprisingly got pregnant with my third son and then we wanted another one, it if funny cause i had my self already set and accepted on not having anymore after number two, it is funny how things work. I had a friend who never wanted any kids, got pregnant in her mid 30's and wanted another one after that, and she couldnt be happier, sometimes you dont know you wanted something till you have it.



You could always foster, fostering you can foster to adopt, the only thing with fostering is that you arent always going to get a infant, and then the children are being taken out of an enviroment that the state seems to think is unfit so you will have to deal with possible problems and helping that child deal with maybe things that have ha ppened in thier life.

 

[kirst3buns]

I was married when I was 22 but my husband and I were too busy with law school and work and we moved to Boston away from any family. We moved back to our home state, bought a house, got settled with jobs and then everyone starting bugging us "when are you going to have kids?" My mom started offering me $$ for grandkids !

My husband was sure he wanted children and I was not. I had never really liked babysitting, or even holding friend's babies all that much. I think if he hadn't been so sure, we would still be childless and undecided. I had my first child at age 30 and it is so very different to have one of your own. I have never regretted having a child and after the first one it was pretty easy to have the second. I might have had a third but my husband was done! Several of my friends have had children up until the age of 38 or 39 (I guess I hung out with a bunch of late bloomers) with no problems.

Just make sure you go to your doctor if you are thinking of it seriously and start the prenatal vitamins, folic acid, etc. Being in good physical health is important.

 

[Luvmyzoocrew]

kirst3buns wrote:

I had my first child at age 30 and it is so very different to have one of your own. I have never regretted having a child and after the first one it was pretty easy to have the second.

That is so true!!!

 

[pumpkinandwhiskersmom]

We got married and had kids right away after college...we were both 21. They are a heartache, a pain, a worry, exhausting, and I WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT FOR THE WORLD!! Our oldest will be 24 (we had her when we were 22), and she was going to be an only child. After 3 years, we decided that it was kind of lonely for her, so decided to have another....10 months later, Michael came along. We were done...no more for us. 3 years later, I get the blue stick (that's how they did it back then with the home tests). Called my DH at work...said, "I'm pregnant." His response, "You are not! You can't be!" After reminding him that we hadn't lived a celibate life in the last 3 years, he conceded that it was possible. John arrived, and then we really were done....made sure of it this time. I would've loved more, but we couldn't afford it.

Someone here said that kids aren't for everyone, and that's true. You just have to get to know yourself well enough to figure that part out. Not that we did....it just happened for us, and we would be totally lost without our kids. But we encourage them to take time and think about all that goes into raising kids today. It sure ain't for sissies!!!!

 

[Wabbitdad12]

Luvmyzoocrew wrote:

I am getting ready, well in nov , for baby #4. There are days i love my kids then there are days i could sell them on Ebay,lol.

:laugh:That is funny! We waited 3 years before we had our first, after the kids cameI knew we would never be alone.

I didn't want kids at first, but my wife did, we talked about it and when I thought I was ready we decided to have kids, and after the first, I told her I wanted six! Her eyes about popped out of her head., we stopped at three. There have been times I wish I would have gone straight to rabbits, but I wouldn't trade them (the kids) for the world.I have a 20, 16 and soon to be 14 year old, even the 16 year old who has given me most of my gray hair are all turning out to be great kids.

Like pumpkingadnwhiskersmom said raising kids "ain't for sissies". Because once you have them, even with receipt the hospital won't take them back.

 

[gentle giants]

I have always known that I wanted kids, ever since I was little. For those of you that are undecided about having kids, it's sure true it's "not for sissies!" Raising a child is the most terrifiying, exhausting, difficult experience of your life. It's also the most rewarding, wonderful, exciting thing you will EVER do. And all the love you have ever felt for one of your pets-magnify that by 100, and that's how much you will love your child. I never knew that was possible until I had kids, but it is.

You will learn such useful life skills as changing really nasty diapers without gagging, how to get puked on without screaming, and how to bandage an owie and soothe a broken heart. There are so many days when my kids really drive me nuts, but I would be miserableto go a day without seeing all of them.

 

[trailsend]

slavetoabunny wrote:

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! I knew early on in my life that I never wanted children. I had my tubes tied when I was 26 years old and have never regreted it. Kids are just not for everyone.

This is me 100% so I really can't help you. Everyone has been helpful I think. You really need to look inside yourself and decide what you want. Good luck!

 

[Bo B Bunny]

You know, nothing is wrong with not wanting children. I'd probably be driving a fancy new car, live in a nice new house, and not have sheep dung tracked into my livingroom now......

wait.....

17 year old boy - free to good home!!!!

Nawww, I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I admire those of you who don't want children and don't have them - there are way too many people out there who have tons they don't really want.

I will say tho - it's something that can be an issue if it's not decided before you get married...

 

[slavetoabunny]

Bo B Bunny wrote:

17 year old boy - free to good home!!!!

I would charge areasonable adoption fee just to make sure he isn't being adopted for snake food.:biggrin2:

 

[BEAUKEZRA]

Thank you for all the replies. My husband and I were both "MAYBE we'll have kids" when we got married. He thinks we should have one before we get too old but on the other hand he wouldn't be too upset if we didn't have any at all. Does that make any sense? I'm thinking we will....in a couple years :biggrin2:.

Heather

P.S. Twins run in his family....are you sure they can't groom each other?

 

[Bo B Bunny]

Patti, that would have to be one freakin' big snake! he's about 200 pounds and 5'11"

Heather, I am sure when they are infants they cannot, but I have heard that around 3 years of age they might cut each other's hair if they can find the scissors!

 

[gentle giants]

BEAUKEZRA wrote:

P.S. Twins run in his family....are you sure they can't groom each other?

Positive. My set will be five this year, and I have yet to see any grooming behavior. Oh, and if you ever want to know what you would have looked like as a whale, try being pregnant with twins! I brought out an old pic of me late in my twin pregnancy, and my husband was like "Wow, why didn't you beep when you backed up?"

BTW, did I mention I will be posting on Craigslist today? "Free to good home-gently used Husband. Mostly housebroken, likes cats. Does some laundry."

 

[trailsend]

Bo B Bunny wrote:

You know, nothing is wrong with not wanting children. I'd probably be driving a fancy new car, live in a nice new house, and not have sheep dung tracked into my livingroom now......

I will say tho - it's something that can be an issue if it's not decided before you get married...

I have sheep dung in the livingroom because they are our kids! LOL. I live too far in the "bush" for kids - and not far enough yet.

But you are right about it being an issue if not discussed before marriage. People need to talk about these things. My partner and I discussed it early on and knew neither of us was heading in that direction. It's important to discuss it in any relationship.

LOL at Patti about the reasonable adoption fee!! You guys crack me up.