Thank you Lalena, The advice is comforting.
Lollipop sunshine and rainbows? haha. I ahte sunshine but close enough.
No, I feel we're fully prepared for a healthy marriage and future together.
I will eventually elt this go, but its just that we're not gettingmarried until June/July and so I feel like...theres still time to maybemaybe maybe fix things and I dont' know if he will, I know he's tryingbut I an't count on him to. What will be, will be.
The issue/point was kind of more like, Its just a really depressingissue, and its depressing to see all these people around me go throughthat ''perfectness'' that I wanted to experience. I don't ask for muchout of life or relationship....so its kind of disappointing when thingsdon't work out. I wanted a ring, a down on one knee, and a ''will youmarry me?''. Simplicity at it's finest. I even told him this. manytimes, and I told him also many times how important it was to me andhow much value I put on that. So, I guess that why i'm a little upsetabout it.
Yes I truly madly deeply love him. I can definitely put it aside forthe sake of marriage and lollipops and unicorns and whatever the heyyou were sayin'.
I just needed to feel better, and not so alone in the issue. Everyoen has been great, and helped out a lot.
HE buoght me a steak last night, so I can't complain.
I also wanted to add that no, I ont' think I shoud be treated like someprincess and have everything go my way all thet iem and my guy has tobe a romance god to please me because thats what I see all the time.EEK no. Erron is at the opposite pole from romantic. I don't need aneveryday romantic fool....but once in a blue moon....its nice. Likewhen he brought roses home for me yesterday....even though I kind offrown upon live flowers as a gift because they die and its kind of awaste of money...I told him this and he knows it plain...but he stillthought of me and did it anyways and I thought it was sweet. When hegoesto pay for gas and coems back with my favorite candy bar(CARAMELLO! OH EM GEE....) ...that makes my day.
When I come home from work and he's cleaned up and madet he bed and fedthe bunnies for me and tells me to lie down and take a nap....thatsgreat too!
He also just bought me $30 worth of books. I'm set for like, a week!
And we were going to do a movie yesterday but he wasn't feeling welland I made him go home and chill. But I saw Eragon is still playing ata more distant theatre here so I said '' you can take me to see thattonight.'' and he said ''ok''.
So, all is well. I'm still kidn of disappointed, I don't know if thatwill ever go away. but the thing is it doesn't itnerrupt or get in theway of our relationship. We hardly talk about it, only as needed, butwe go about as though everything is jack dandy, because it is. We veryrarely get mad at each other. I can't remember the last time I wasseriously actually ANGRY with him.
I think I'll post some pics and tell a grand story...
So Erron and I were eating sloppy joe's, ok? And He was joking aroundtalkin' crud on muh bunnies, yo. And He was just joking but I told himto stop, and he didn't. And I had like an impulse attack and I jsut hadthis urge to throw something at him. There happenedt o be a sloppy joein my hand at the time. Next I know, Erron is covered in orange meatsauce. And After I threw it...I totally didn't remebmer throwing it.This happens to me a lot. Weird moments of my mind leaving for a fewseconds and evil Jesse taking over!
So I'm kind of in shock I did this but the sight of a man covered inmeat suace was very funny. He just...stopped. and looked at me andsaid. ''you....are a nut.'' and just keeps eating. So I took a photoopportunity. He finished eating before he cleaned up.
My god anyone else would have been furious with me. But we just laughedand laughed about it. And I think he got revenge the other day.... Idid it again but I forget what I was eating.....I think it was likepudding or whipped cream or something dessertish and I just had thisurge to take my figner and scoop up some cream stuff and smoosh it onhis shoulder. He looked at the mess...and at melaughing...and then he grabbed me and smeared his shoulder to myforehead. And we just laughed and laughed.
This is an everyday thing...of me doing stupid things and him dealingwith me and us having fun. How many guys could stand me? I dont know oftoo many.
