Good God, another difficult post to read.
I'm so sorry about Big Mama. What a love she was to all - people and animals alike.
I don't think you could fit in any more love in that big heart than what was in there. She was as beautiful in personality as she was in her looks. No question of a doubt, Big Mama was one in a million. She taught us all so much about being tolerant, loving, patient, and to remember to always have some fun. It seems so wrong to have lost her when this world needed that type of influence so badly. Bless your heart for giving her such a wonderfully full and loving life. In your arms was where she loved to be the most. She adores you and will watch over you and the others in ways that she couldn't before. She had a wonderful time with you and loves you deeply. You'll feel her love, appreciation, and help as the raw grief your experiencing lightens up in time. She'll "speak" to you through your others, just you watch and see.
I'll be thinking and praying for you. Thank you for sharing Big Mama with us all. It's a gift that we'll all treasure and never forget how loving and happy she was with you as her Mom.
Deepest sympathy and much love,
Carolyn