I hardly know you and all I want to do is hug you so so much.
I know how special Milly was to you, and it's tragic that it did end this way.
Someone wise once told me that specialpeople/beings come into our lives when we need them most, and can leave when they feel they have done their 'job'.
My Flash was that for me, maybe Millywas that for you. I know how much you needed him when he arrived, and how special he was after everything that has happened to you recently. It might not feel like it right now, but maybe he got you through, whatever it was he was meant to get you through.
Milly knew how deeply you loved him, and I hope that it can bring you comfort that you were with him all the way through his life, and as he left.
I don't know if you believe in the afterlife, I know I do, but often because I need to. But he'll be waiting for you, in whatever for you believe, he'll be there. He'll always stay in your heart and memories too.
I wish I could say something that helped, but I know right now I can't. Just allow yourself to grieve, release it, don't block it, and remember that there are many people here who care about you.
Hang in there and please look after yourself.