All of your thoughts and prayers and encouraging words mean so much, guys.
As you can tell, I called Denise...and we cried together for our Trixie, and the other three sweethearts.
I can't even put into words how I feel. I have just been taking things one day at a time, one loss at a time. We talked to Em that afternoon. Ivan and I picked her up from school (Danny was working...we need every penny we can get), and I talked to her in his livingroom before going outside. Ivan and I picked up as much of the scene as we could (fur, toys, etc.) before we had to go pick her up. I won't lie...she took it like a champ...but has had a really hard time since that first day.
We put their bodies to rest Saturday afternoon right next to our other two boys. It was so beautiful there, as the streambed that had been dry when we buried the boys was full of sparkling, bubbly water...and the sound was so comforting. The scene was so amazing. I took some pictures, but haven't had the ability yet to get them off the camera, as it's just too hard to look at.
We picked a special rock to represent each girl and put it on top of their grave...all four girls buried together, as it somehow seemed right that way. I picked a larger black & white rock for Trixie, to match colors, and because she was the largest of the four. A smaller white rock for Flower, a pinkish (I think it had some rose quartz in it) rock for SweetPea (who we called Pinky), and a much smaller dark rock for Cuddles. Like with burying our boys, it was so hard to leave the site...I felt like I was leaving them behind, even though I know they are no longer in those bodies as spirits.
It's such a double-edged sword. I'm so happy we still have our four: Teddy, Fiver, Maisie, and Cinnamon. But I miss Flower, Trixie, SweetPea, and Cuddles so so much. Our remaining four are getting so suffocated by my love, lol. But...I tell ya...I'm sure they're more than happy for any ounce they can get right now.
As I mentioned, we took all four to the vet. They're all four just fine. We didn't miss anything in checking them over, fortunately...and Fiver's missing patch of fur is just that: missing fur. I'm keeping an eye on all four of them (especially Maisie, as one of the dogs was trying to get at her when Ivan's father-in-law chased the other three away), to be sure we didn't miss any small puncture wounds and don't wind up with small abscesses. Thankfully, nothing missed so far.
It comes as no surprise to me that Maisie is VERY angry right now. She grunts and boxes me every time I try to pet her. It's understandable, given that she was next, and I know she knew that. They'd knocked her cage onto its side, and I'm sure she was afraid for her life, and knew it would be soon, if someone didn't come out to chase the dogs away. Phil (Ivan's father-in-law, who chased them away) said that the dog didn't even notice him at first, it was so focused on banging its head on her cage to try to get to her. Please pray I don't lose her, or any of them to heart attacks (as Cathy said, adrenaline poisoning). We're working very hard to help them calm down, and make their environment as positive and loving and wonderful as possible.
Fiver has finally started to move around and come over now. At first, for the first couple days, he wouldn't really come to me. He was still so in shock, I think. I just took it day by day, trying to get him to play with me, and be comfortable again. Finally, on Friday, I tossed him his wagon wheel, and he tossed it back. A couple times of this back and forth, and he came on out and sat next to me for love. I was so grateful to see him moving around again!
Teddy is a bit on edge, but less so everyday...and Cinnamon actually didn't seem to be too upset, and has been just fine since the moment she came "home" with us. (I say "home" because it's just difficult to view the room as home.)
I'm very grateful to the kitties...as Hobbes especially has been right there with the buns since they came "home". He checks up on them at least twice an hour, and even Sunny (who used to be REALLY jealous of them) can be seen guarding them and checking on them now and then. Not a jealous moment from her since they've been home...which is wonderful. Every time when I come home, they're both laying in front of their carriers, guarding while we're gone. It's so nice to see that family spirit with them. The two kitties have also relaxed a LOT since the buns came home...I think they must've felt like a big piece of the family was missing while they were gone.
You should've seen the people at the vet's. They were tearing up when we walked in, as I told them what happened when I made the appointment. Our wonderful vet, too, Dr. Lindberg, was almost in tears. Not only that, but I hadn't been able yet to tell her of Velveteen & Teeny's passings, so she was sad to hear of that as well (and they changed their records to reflect). It was such an incredibly sad visit.
As far as how we humans are doing...we're just taking things one day at a time. At times, it's just completely overwhelming, and we have to just stop and hug one another. All three of us are so upset...and Saturday was really difficult, putting them to rest.
I feel like a huge hole has been shot through our family. Six buns in three months... it's just so much to handle. I barely start adjusting to having lost one, and I lose another. I just don't understand it...I know how fragile they are, but I still expected to have so much more time with each of them. Trixie just turned three, Flower and SweetPea were just shy of turning three, and Cuddles, Teeny, and Velveteen were barely a year of age.
Ivan has called Animal Control to let them know the dogs are in the area. We suspect they live in the hills, and probably (though I hate to think it) live off of the wild bunnies that live in the area. Ivan said they were very clearly strays/wild dogs, so I really don't think they were anyone's "pet". I'd hate to think someone's pet would be so wild...but I guess you never know. Ivan said they acted and moved like a pack. I hope Animal Control can find them, or do something. They are a danger to all animals in the area. And you guys know how much I love dogs...but I have to admit, I've gotten a bit of a jaded view of them as of late. I hope that changes...but even Danny said there's not a single chance we'll ever get a dog in the future. He keeps picturing his little SweetPea trying to make a break for it, and just not making it, and I doubt he'll be able to picture dogs the same again. I don't wish the dogs harm, or death...just that the neighborhood be protected in whatever way Animal Control can.
When all is said and done...I take heart that my girls were together in the end. The fact that they had that much of a feeling of family and love that they stuck together warms my heart. I just wish they'd gotten that time together under better, happier circumstances. They didn't deserve what happened...and I wish I could've done something to prevent it. But, with those dogs, and seeing the power they had, to not only rip open the hard, tough cage mesh, but to BEND NIC panels almost in half...they just seemed to have been totally determined to get them.
Anyway, I know we'll be fine eventually...but I tell ya, this is a trying time. I'm having to be extra careful, as I'm quite sure I'm pregnant (I'll be taking a blood test to know for sure tomorrow evening), and I don't want this stress to affect the baby. I'll write more about this particular subject in my other thread about it.
Please keep us in your prayers. It's such a trying time for us. We'll be able to move soon (as Danny's about to make what we need to be able to get a place), but right now, it just feels so awful, being where we are.
Hugs to everyone.
