napagirl
Well-Known Member
My 9yr old lop passed last Wed. I have been crying off and on since then, and having trouble coping. This is a bit long, but I've been wanting to write this out, and this is the first day I felt I could do it. Dimi has had lifelong stasis issues, and I've been able to pull her out of stasis several times. She was also seeing one of the top rabbit vets around, so we were very lucky. A few times, I've had to bring her to the vet urgently to get sub q fluids if the meds and syringing at home weren't working. And that would bounce her right back. She was perfectly fine last Tuesday, ran to her room for bedtime. Next morning, we noticed that she had not touched her hay nor pooped in her fresh box. She was in her igloo and didn't want to come out. So we started her meds and syringing fluids/critical care. I have been working from home since the pandemic, and she shares the office with me, so I could keep a close eye on her. After several hours, I was getting concerned because she was getting a bit more lethargic, and still no eating (even her favorites) and no pooping. I called her vet, and two other good ones I know. No one could get her in the same day. I've noticed this issue more so since the pandemic. Anyway her vet and another said I should take her to a specific emergency vet that was "rabbit savvy". So I took her. Here is where things get bad... The dr agreed to treat with sub q fluids, but also wanted to give a pain shot and take blood. He thought there could be something else going on besides stasis. To put it nicely, the techs that were sent in to give her the pain shot/fluids/take blood were not well versed with rabbits. First, they said they didn't feel her leg muscle, and stabbed the pain shot into her back. The needle bent, but she got the dose. She became very sedated- almost like anesthesia. Then they attempted to take blood, which wasn't working because her veins were so tiny. It was heartwrenching to see them attempt it. I told them to stop, and we would get it later at her vet. They then did the sub q fluids while she was just collapsed there. I just wanted to get her home. The dr came back in and told me if she wasn't eating/pooping by morning, to take her to vet. Duh. So we got home, and we put her on blanket in front room. She was completely out of it- splayed out like a pancake. She was breathing, but very slowly. I called the emergency vet back, and talked to the dr. I told him how sedated she was, and he said she's just chilled out, should wear off in 4-5 hours. Well, 30min later, she rolled onto her side, started having a seizure and died. I was convinced they overdosed her at that time.
The next day I spoke to her regular vet, whom I trust very much. She was sorry we had a bad experience there, and said she would look into the techs' rabbit handling training. She did say that some of the signs I mentioned, like them not feeling the leg muscle and the veins being small may have signified extremely low BP and circulatory collapse. Even though my rabbit was in only a month before for an exam which was all good, she said there could have been something going on that was not discovered at exam. The one thing that bugs me is that she was reading the report from the emergency vet, and asked me if Dimi had gained a lot of weight in the last month. She definitely had NOT gained a lot of weight, as a matter of fact, she felt a little lighter. Evidently, the emergency vet report had her weight at quite a bit more than what was measured at her vet appt a month prior. I suspect the techs didn't zero out the scale- I dont know. But now I'm wondering if they did overdose her based on incorrect weight.
I just feel horrible that I didn't protect her! Her whole life I've been taking care of her, always careful about who provided care to her. We never went on vacation longer than a night or two, because I didn't trust anyone to take care of her if she got stasis. I feel like I failed her by taking her to that emergency vet. I do realize intellectually that there could've been something else wrong, and she might have died regardless. But I keep wondering if they killed her. I miss her so much- we were very very close. And I just feel so darn guilty that her last hours had to be so horrible. How do you get past the guilt and grief?
The next day I spoke to her regular vet, whom I trust very much. She was sorry we had a bad experience there, and said she would look into the techs' rabbit handling training. She did say that some of the signs I mentioned, like them not feeling the leg muscle and the veins being small may have signified extremely low BP and circulatory collapse. Even though my rabbit was in only a month before for an exam which was all good, she said there could have been something going on that was not discovered at exam. The one thing that bugs me is that she was reading the report from the emergency vet, and asked me if Dimi had gained a lot of weight in the last month. She definitely had NOT gained a lot of weight, as a matter of fact, she felt a little lighter. Evidently, the emergency vet report had her weight at quite a bit more than what was measured at her vet appt a month prior. I suspect the techs didn't zero out the scale- I dont know. But now I'm wondering if they did overdose her based on incorrect weight.
I just feel horrible that I didn't protect her! Her whole life I've been taking care of her, always careful about who provided care to her. We never went on vacation longer than a night or two, because I didn't trust anyone to take care of her if she got stasis. I feel like I failed her by taking her to that emergency vet. I do realize intellectually that there could've been something else wrong, and she might have died regardless. But I keep wondering if they killed her. I miss her so much- we were very very close. And I just feel so darn guilty that her last hours had to be so horrible. How do you get past the guilt and grief?
Please know that whatever feelings you're experiencing, you're right for feeling them, and be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve however you need to. Our bunnies are much more to us than simple pets.
