Michelle, I'm going to share with you what I shared with Michaela when she was feeling down about Pebble.
"It seems as though the rabbit community as a whole has been going through a really rough time lately.
Along with all of the others who have lost multiple bunnies, I too have lost 4 that where dear to me in the last 4 months. I only posted about Wildfire as the others where fosters (either in my home or ones who had moved to new foster homes) and it was too painful to share. Shortly after Wildfire died, I lost Cookie. She was Zeke's litter mate and the only other one who gave kisses. She died in my arms of liver failure, apparently her liver was in full end stage cancer. Then about a month later, Sara, Zeke's other litter mate died of kidney failure. Lo, the mother of my first foster litter passed away soon after Sara of some weird body failure, odd seizures and she slowly shut down.
I have been living in fear these past months. Every time one of they bunnies makes a funny noise I panic, my heart drops to my stomach. I keep waiting for the next one to go on me.
But, I have learned that the only thing you can do is move forward. Care for those bunnies you have to the best of your abilities, and love them with all your heart. They will help you heal. Take the comfort they provide you.
Rabbits are such fragile creatures. Some live so long, and others leave before we are ready. Know that it is not your fault, and that you nor Pebbles deserved this. It happened, and there is nothing anyone can do now but learn and move forward.
I know that so many of us have had really hard losses lately. It seems like more in the last four months than I can ever remember.
My point is mainly this: Most of the RO members have gone through tough losses before, and no one would hold you responsable for this horrible situation. We all care about you and we just want to support you in any way we can.
Take the time you need to heal, but please let us help you."
I have been where are right now. Thinking that everything was my fault, and that all these bunnies are dying around me and it must be my fault. It has been about 6 months since Wildfire passed, and I still think about her everyday.
I have come to peace with the fact that the buns that died where all sick. Cancer, heart disease and other unknown ailments. I know that if I had known, if they had shown symptoms that where treatable, I would have treated them.
For reasons unknown to us, some are just scheduled to leave much earlier than we would like. And it is our duty to continue being the wonderful bunny parent and caring for those bunnies we have and those that wander into our lives farther down the road.
If you ever need to talk, please feel free to PM me.
--Dawn
