Louie

[AmandaCat]

I lost Louie early yesterday morning. My heart is absolutely shattered; he was only three years old. I just need to get out everything that happened.

I noticed Sunday evening he wasn’t eating and was hunched, but it looked like he had recent poop in the litter box. I gave him simethicone and belly massages and went to sleep, setting alarms to check on him through the night. I’ve helped him through little bouts of stasis before. I woke up at midnight and he was still hunched, but I decided to check on him later to see if he would start eating. At 2:00 am he was in the same spot, so I gave him simethicone, water, and belly massages. Whenever I put him down, he wouldn’t even move. I massaged him until 3:00, then gave him another dose of simethicone and some critical care, and when he still wouldn’t move I called the vet and drove him in. It was thunder storming like crazy.

I got there and called to check in (they’re curbside), as they said it could be up to an hour. The vet called me right back, and as she was talking Louie started jumping around in the carrier. I told her this, and she told me to come in. When I went in she let him out and picked him up and told me to wait while she walked away.

She came back and brought me into a room and said, “He’s crashing. Do you want me to do CPR or do you want to hold him in your arms?” I asked if that would save him, and she said no. I sat and held him and she talked to me and listened to his heart, and she told me when he finally went just a few minutes later. My parents came and picked me up, and we went home and found a nice spot for him where he used to like to run.

I thought I found him in the beginning stages of stasis, but it turned out to be the end stage unless it just progressed very quickly. I’ve been racking my brain trying to remember if I fed him breakfast on Sunday; he usually jumps up and begs for his breakfast in the morning, and I don’t think he did. If I had fed him, I would have noticed he wasn’t eating right away. He didn’t beg for treats all day either. Why didn’t I notice???

I’m so angry at myself. I feel so guilty. I couldn’t eat all yesterday and got sick a few times. I took yesterday and today off work. Please pray for me.

He was such an amazing bunny. He never got scared or upset; he was so sweet and loved head and cheek rubs. When he would get excited with zoomies, one ear would go up. He used to jump on my bed with me. I used to take him to work and he was so good with the kids. I miss him so much. All I want to do is feed him and rub his cheeks.

Goodbye, Louie. I’m so grateful for the short time I had with you. Love you, bud.

 

[Niomi]

So sorry for your loss.

 

[Catlyn]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I know that you feel angry at yourself for not noticing earlier. I understand, i felt the same with Lümi's passing, that if i could've taken action earlier...
But nothing will change that, nothing will bring back the dead. Know that despite not noticing anything off "immediately", you tried your absolute best to make sure he pulled through. The very best you could've done.
You had an amazing time with him, and he seems truly like a dear loving floofer. I don't think that he had any complaints with you being his dear one.
Take your time healing, Niomi, we're here if you need us.
Binky free, Louie.

 

[elliem]

So sorry for your loss. You did the best you could for him and he was obviously a much loved and lucky bun to have had you as his bunmum.
Binky free little one

 

[CrazyChickenGirl]

I’m so sorry for your loss. He was a much loved and wonderfully cared for little bun and he knew it.

 

[SirLawrence]

Sorry to hear about Louie; he was loved. The vast majority of rabbits never get this kindness, they're at the mercy of nature. And in the end, nature will come for us all. Nothing will bring him back, and don't beat yourself up. He probably hid his symptoms as best he could because he didn't want you worrying about him. You gave him what so few bunnies get: a chance.

I hope these forums help you in this time of grieving. You're among your people. ☺

 

[James + Ted]

So sorry to hear about your loss. You helped him have the best life that was possible, for him. Be kind to yourself, think positive.

 

[Nancy McClelland]

So sorry for your loss. Sometimes they are with us for a long time and sometimes not. We've lost some after only a couple of years and had 2 with us for 16 and one was just shy of 19 years. Just how it is, so don't beat yourself up over it or try to second-guess. The most important thing is to love them for however long they are with you.

 

[AmandaCat]

Thank you so much to everyone for your kind words. It’s been two weeks, and I still miss him so much, but I’m starting to find comfort in the good life he lived and the hope that I may see him again.

I know I will want another bunny, but I’m going to wait some time. Louie was a super chill and easygoing guy, and I don’t want to be comparing another bunny to him and feeling upset when it’s not the same.

One thing I found therapeutic was to get a memorial stone to put where we buried him, and I planted some flowers and herbs around it. I put a bird feeder near there, too.

 

[Catlyn]

I agree that having a little marker is really helpful. In your case, that cute little memorial stone. (It's so nice that you planted herbs around there!) In my case, a literal gravestone. One is in our yard for Musti, and one for Lümi is currently in the making.
It's been one and a half months for me, and i finally healed enough to let another bun come in without me feeling completely devastated about it. It would've possibly taken longer but i am also thinking of Storm's happiness. He absolutely needs a bondmate now.
So definetly, time helps relieve the pain and one day, when you feel like it, a new bun will further help soothe the pain.
Stay strong and the best of luck!