I don't know if this makes you feel any better, but maybe hearing that someone went through worse, and came out better...maybe it'll help?
My husband and I had our own Electrical Contracting company in California since July of 2004, and it was very much our baby. We worked like mad to get it going, since we had to start it completely cold, without any sort of financial cushion at all.
Fast forward to last September. We weren't getting enough work, and couldn't pay the rent, and had to find another place to live. Since it happened so quickly (and our landlord was a jerk that threatened violence if we didn't leave ASAP, and with having a child, we weren't taking the chance, so we had to leave quickly), we wound up staying at a motel...we thought temporarily.
One month passed...still not enough work...no way for me to go to work, since I would be making about a quarter of what my husband could bring in and it definitely wouldn't be enough.
Two months passed...we're wondering what the heck's going on, but still hangin' on and having hope that it would pass.
Three months, and we're at the point of just trying to eat everyday, and trying to survive the time period. We were spending so much energy just trying to survive, we weren't thinking thoroughly enough of the situation and how to get out.
Seven months passed...and any and all ways to get money dried up (unless we wanted to break the law somehow...and that was out of the question, of course) and there was NO work at all...not even the little dribbles that had been getting us through this time period.
Through all of this, we had to house our buns outside, and though we protected their cages as best as we could, we still lost six of them (all due to heart attacks, four due to heart attacks from a dog attack). We also lost all of the belongings we didn't have with us there in the motel room, since everything we owned (furniture, appliances, sentimental things) was in storage, and we didn't have any ability to pay the bill.
We finally realized...this wasn't working and we didn't have any indicators things would change anytime in the near future. We'd gotten to the point where we had to get our daughter food, and then not eat ourselves, because we just didn't have the funds to do anything else.
So, we sat down and talked it over...and realized we had one last option...to move out of the state or the country and start over. We realized that the economy in CA had gotten so bad, we were stuck in a complete financial meltdown rut, and wouldn't get out unless we left altogether. It was then that we decided to move to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada...where yes, things had slowed a bit in other areas, but were still progressing in Danny's field. Not to mention, Danny's dad lived there, and we had a chance to live with someone who would be able to help us financially, and be willing to help us with food, etc. So, we borrowed the money, packed all of our things into a trailer, and the animals in the SUV, and drove up.
We've been living here since mid-May, and things are going MUCH better. Danny got temporary labor work to start off with, making $11/hr, and just recently got offered a job where he'd been doing temp work that earns over twice that amount...so things are progressing. He's not doing electrical right now, because here in Canada, you have to get certifications in various stages of being an Electrician, and it costs money to take the classes to get those certs. BUT...the job he has is paying for him to make that progress, so he'll be able to get back to the profession he loves soon. The point is...we're working our way up and surviving. We live with family who loves us and is helping tremendously, and now are making our own money to pay our own way.
I'm thankful for everything that happened, because it led to us being here and improving our lives drastically...but I'm still sad that we had to lose so much and so many to be here. I miss our babies...but I know they're proud of us and happy that we're finally thriving.
All that to say...thankfully, you're not going through what we did...and you can see a situation where someone went through worse, and still was able to come through it better than they were before it happened.
Things will get better...just keep on truckin' on through this time period. It sounds like you're already on the right path...just
keep persevering!
Hugs to you and yours,
Rosie*
