I need some advice

[Brandy456]

I need some advice, something I either can't talk to my friends about because they don't know, or don't approve.. or are just too silly to answer maturely.

I've been dating this guy long distance since March, we're better then ever, thats not the problem. The problem is his best friends girlfriend.
For an example, last night he put on his facebook status ; Ask me any question on here and i'll answer truthfully. So his friend asked him some silly questions like 'this or that' ect. Then the friends girlfriend asked some, then randomly asked 'What Political Party are you for' and he asked what that was/what the options were and she didn't reply for a good 30 minutes so I answered him and wrote like, this one doesn't agree with gay marriage and this one is the opposite, and also wants to legalize marijuana. Well, as I went to post that, she commented on the same time with (exactly how i'm going to write this) " DO YOU WANT TO KILL BABIES OR NOT " (meaning abortion). So, he got thrown back by it and just said 'idk' and I asked him after and he just didn't want to start any fight.
So, she wrote a LONG paragraph telling him how he was a killer blah-blah-blah. So, I wrote " Common, he's a guy, he doesn't think of those things " as a joke, trying to lighten it up. She replied back with " You're stupid, you think if you can have sex you can kill the babies because you can't keep your legs crossed " which i didn't say AT ALL because I don't even agree with abortions!
Anyways, She started going off at me, and I asked for an apology for her calling me stupid, and she said 'I owe you nothing" and proceeded to call me a baby killer.
Anyways, once she realized she was going back on what she said, she started deleteing the comments, and so he asked me to log onto his account (he was busy) to delete the entire status because she kept going on about this whole issue, and me, on msn to him.

See, this isn't it..
I don't even know this girl, never talked to her in my life and 2 weeks ago she called me ugly, and stupid TO MY BOYFRIEND.
So he talked to his friend, and his friend just blows it off saying that she was right.

So, what should I do ?
I mean, If she's going to insult me personally i'm not going to just sit back and take it.
The worst part is, his mom and grandma see this (because it's on his account) and think shes a "B*tch"

He stood up for me last night, but she just kept bad mouthing me to him, publicly on facebook. I doubt she's going to stop either..
I just feel bad because everyones in his family is going to think i'm this argumentive witch.

I can't block her either, since we're not friends. (and she tells him most of the stuff on MSN and he just relates the message to me)

 

[missyscove]

Sounds like she's just jealous to me. Ignore her and don't let her get to you. If it really bothers your boyfriend he can delete her as a facebook friend or just change his setting so she can't post on his wall. Trust me, I've done it to people.

I generally make a point to avoid the topic of politics, with the exception of just reminding people to get out there and vote.

 

[Brandy456]

His friend (the girls boyfriend) called me a b**ch for saying she was lieing, when she told him she never said anything we were 'accusing her of' (anything bad she did)
So he said I was making stuff up,
and if it did happen, that I should know not to make her angry..
I never even knew of her 2 weeks ago!
So he deleted them both, it made me feel special.
Thanks Christina

 

[fuzz16]

wellll...wow. its actually funny that she belittles her self THAT low...i wouldnt worry about it at all tough. the girls bf is whipped and wont say anything afraid to loose her prob, sounds like a bad friend. great for him hoosing you over the drama team though

 

[Brandy456]

fuzz16 wrote:

wellll...wow. its actually funny that she belittles her self THAT low...i wouldnt worry about it at all tough. the girls bf is whipped and wont say anything afraid to loose her prob, sounds like a bad friend. great for him hoosing you over the drama team though

That makes a lot of sense, it's just really draining to talk with them though because they make absolutely no sense.

 

[Sweetie]

This girl that is calling you names is immature and insecure.

You can block her even if you are not friends. Go to her profile and there should be a block this person on the bottom left corner of the page. I have done this on facebook before.

Also, don't let her get to you, you are smart and beautiful, and way more mature than her.

 

[Brandy456]

Sweetie wrote:

This girl that is calling you names is immature and insecure.

You can block her even if you are not friends. Go to her profile and there should be a block this person on the bottom left corner of the page. I have done this on facebook before.

Also, don't let her get to you, you are smart and beautiful, and way more mature than her.

I didn't want to block her, because I'm the type of person who won't let people say things about me, and not reply. And when she would comment after me on his profile, I KNOW it was something bad, so just seeing her name and not the comment would make me go insane
Thank you, though

I felt so bad, because he has two of his grandmas, and his parents on facebook so they all saw these brawls, and when I talked to him about them thinking I was argumentive, or childish he said "Don't worry, they think she's crazy" and some other words that aren't RO friendly.

 

[Brandy456]

When I seriously thought this was over, it's not.

This girl from our past, showed up again yesterday.

A while back, they were on cam, and I don't know what I was doing but I walked in and she busted out laughing, and he got all red. So I asked what was going on and he said nothing, then she wrote "I flashed him".
We fought about it, him saying it wasn't his fault, he had no control, whatever.
Then they started getting really close, and it bothered me. So we fought some more, and I told him to pick ; me or her. He chose her and we broke up for 2 months. In that time they had some fling, and when that was over he told me he wanted to get back together. So I did, thinking she was gone. But I get on facebook (stupid facebook) and she left a heart on his wall. So I confronted him, and he told her to stop, and she cussed me out, every name in the book, then told him she didn't want to talk to him.

Anyways, I joke around, and two nights ago I turned his facebook language to french, because he doesn't understand it(but i'm french and he jokes about it) anyways, long story short I went to change it again last night, because I was bored and it's fun to watch him try and figure it out.
So I logged on his account, and my brother showed up at the door and 30 minutes later I get back to the computer and it said I had a new message, so I clicked on it (thinking it was my account..honestly) and saw it was her and it read "Can we talk, I miss you". I logged out so fast.
Then, they talked a bit and she asked to add him back on msn, and he said yes.
I got upset, we were doing so good, and now this. And he doesn't seem to realize whats going on.

 

[NorthernAutumn]

It's not working out Brandy... If he doesn't get rid of her completely, this isn't doable. And even then, you'll never know. They are both already creeping around.

You don't need the drama. It doesn't really sound like this guy is very trustworthy. I think you can do better.

:hug:
My 0.02

 

[Brandy456]

Thank you
I'm waiting for him to wake up so we can talk. He left me an email last night after I went to bed and it said ;
(Oh, the first line.. it's because I asked him to get up earlier so we could hang out since I had some stuff to do today)
The words in * are words i've changed because it wasn't.. young'n friendly. (and her name)

--
I feel like complete *poop*, so don't expect me out of bed early.

I told Rora I couldn't talk to her, and I feel terrible about it because of my *flipping* kindheartedness.
And I feel even more terrible about how I've made you feel. I'm so sorry for everything I've done.

I hate being me. I hate being so *flipping* kind, and not wanting to hurt anyone. It *fudges* with my life so bad.
__

So.. it amazes me how he had to add he felt bad for her.
I don't know, until he wakes up and we talk. Then i'll see whats going on.


ETA ; the second I posted this he woke up.
.. weird :expressionless

 

[Brandy456]

.. he just informed me when he said he felt like *poop* he meant because the weather.

-.-

 

[Maple Front Rabbitry]

NorthernAutumn wrote:

It's not working out Brandy... If he doesn't get rid of her completely, this isn't doable. And even then, you'll never know. They are both already creeping around.

You don't need the drama. It doesn't really sound like this guy is very trustworthy. I think you can do better.

:hug:
My 0.02

I agree, he obviously doesnt respect the fact that you asked him to stop talking to her. He can't be trusted and you can't have a relationship if you can't trust eachother.

And plus no one needs that constant drama in their life

hope things work out

 

[Brandy456]

Thank you

 

[jcottonl02]

He chose her.

He made his choice. You only get one chance with me, and hopefully only get one chance with you Brandy.

I was in love with my ex, and I still am, in a way. He dumped me. Now he wanted me back. Even though I have such strong feelings for him, you don't mess me around; once it's over, it's over, unless there's a big reason. Funny. He's the only guy who has ever left me, and the only guy I've ever really loved.

You're better than him, Brandy. I'd take the upper hand and end it. He doesn't sound trustworthy to me, and when you two were together, you weren't his top priority. Why would that change now?

Hope u do what's best for u hun. As long as you're happy.

Jen

 

[Sweetie]

I agree with everyone here saying to end it with this guy because he is not trustworthy. He just wants to fool around and that isn't right. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Like I said before, "you are very smart and more mature."

I think that everyone will agree with me when I say that no one wants you to get hurt in any way, shape, or form.

Good luck in whatever you decide. Remember your friends of RO are here to help you through any heartache.

 

[Brandy456]

We havent really spoken of anything thats going on since this happend, so I think i'll talk to him tonight, and tell you guys what he says.

 

[AquaticRex]

there are a lot of things i could say, but the best thing you can possibly do is just laugh it all off. it doesn't matter what she thinks, or her boyfriend, or anyone else for that matter. she sounds screwed in the head to me. she could go off on your bf if she wants, consider it a test in a way. if he's agreeing with her, then question it and his loyalty and so on, and if he's staying strong and telling her to screw off basically, then good for him and good job to you for finding a guy who has his priorities straight. he's your boyfriend, not hers, and if he understands that then he will stand by you on this. his friend is in a bad situation of either agree with his gf or his best friend. either one he's at risk of loosing. i remember being stuck in that kind of situation, and i made the mistake of going with my boyfriend's side, and that lost me my best friend. she's just a trouble starter aka drama magnet. not worth getting into a fight with, cause most of the time you'll just chase your tail having an argument with her. then she'll win by twisting everything (deleting certain parts of the convo) to make you look bad and make everyone think she's the victim. bets way to fix that is screen shot EVERYTHING and save it as a PICTURE. as a picture people wont be able to accuse you of changing parts of the convo.

 

[AquaticRex]

--.-- i just read the rest..... plain out hun?? dump is sorry butt. he's not worth it. i would have gone ballistic by now and would have had enough. by the sounds of it, he's lieing hardcore. i'd tell him it's over and not to contact me again. i had this exact same thing happen to me before, i dumped the guy cause of things he was doing (a lot like what your guy seems to be doing) and a week later his best friend messaged me on facebook telling me EVERYTHING. the cheating, the partying, the "having fun in the bedroom" with other girls, the lieing, and everything else. this guy sounds like another Leigh, and i'm telling you, that is NOT a boat you want to be sailing in. it'll mess you up pretty good. after Leigh got done with me, i was pretty screwed. i met David, and he had the will to tough out my new aggression towards relationships, the suspicion that i had suddenly picked up and everything. i honestly feel that if i hadn't gotten involved with David i'd have been permanently screwed, cause guys like him are very hard to find. and a lot of the times the guys like him that you do find, aren't completely real, not for long at least. as my suggestion, get rid of this guy. you will find a much better guy, and this one sounds like an idiot. if he really does want you, he will fight for you. if he just lets you go after a small argument over being dumped, then he's not worth it. if he wont fight for you, then you have to question, did he really want to keep you in the first place?? (by fight i don't mean physically. i'm saying this cause someone took those words the wrong way before) make him work for your trust and respect. can't always just make it easy for him right??

 

[Luluznewz]

For what its worth I don't believe in telling people they "have to choose" or that he "cant see her". Even if he did actually listen to you (which it doesnt sound like he is) he wont WANT to. What is in his heart is really what counts.

You really do deserve someone who doesn't have such drama following him around. Doesn't it make more sense to be with a guy who is perusing you and focusing his affections only on you? Its really not okay for him to be associating with an ex if thats how she talks to him. He wouldn't allow that kind of conversation if he was totally focused on being with you.

 

[irishbunny]

Is this the guy you met online? Have you met up yet? If that is the guy then I would for sure end it. You have no idea what he could be like off the computer, and if he is doing this online, what he is doing with her offline.